When the moon glistened high in the night sky and the only sound was Rumplestiltskin's even breathing beside her in their bed, Belle was attacked by her deepest fear. She would near sleep, drifting between awareness and oblivion, when the fear snuck up and assailed. It plagued her, like tendrils of smoke unwilling to wisp away, and she was too frightened to fall into sleep for worry of nightmares. She knew it was irrational, but she could not conquer it.
She remembered all too well when the fear had first struck. Rumple had playfully coaxed her into bed and growled lowly in her ear the promise of forever. They'd made love that night, slowly savoring each other until their pleasure consumed them. It was after, when she was resting in his warm embrace, that she realized "forever" was not possible. Rumplestiltskin would live forever, while she would grow old and die. She was not immortal like him. She would not remain young, and the realization gave birth to her worry. What would they do? How could they be together...forever? It just wasn't possible with the Dark Curse, was it? But she never voiced her thoughts because some part of her knew it was selfish. That she was selfish for clinging to "forever".
She failed to hide her worry, for he took notice. He was no fool. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and the weariness in her expression. They saw each other naked enough for him to notice that she was losing weight.
Constantly, he begged her to tell him what was wrong, but she would not capitulate. More than once, her stubbornness brought him to anger. He'd spouted empty threats at her, demanding that she tell him—that he was worried about her. Yet, Belle held her ground, too ridden with shame and guilt to confide in him. She knew it hurt him that she hid her secrets. She knew he was startled when she woke up screaming from her dreams. And the selfless part of her knew that she would have to tell him eventually.
So—weeks later—after a slow and passionate coupling, she finally built up enough courage to voice her fear.
They laid together, limbs entangled and breaths uneven. Belle pillowed her head on his chest and stroked his side, causing him to twitch. "Rumple?"
He gently squeezed her, allowing his hand to trail down her back. "Yes, love?" he asked, voice soft.
"What will we do..." she began, but her voice faltered and she could not continue. His hand paused and he shifted so that she was beneath him on the bed. Half-leaning over her, he stared into her eyes.
"What do you mean, sweetheart?" he asked coolly. His free arm tightened around her waist. "Belle...please..."
She took a deep, shuddering breath and carded her hands through his hair. "What will we do...when I grow older and you stay the same?"
Immediately, his dark eyes flashed with understanding and his brow furrowed. "That is what this is all about?" he wondered, some unknown tension leaving his body. He relaxed and ducked his head to give her a powerful kiss. "You had me worried."
"Doesn't that worry you? That I'll grow old while you live on forever?" Belle asked incredulously. She gazed up into his face and saw conflict there. Yet...she was pleasantly surprised when the conflict ended and a small smile tugged at his lips. It seemed he had an answer.
He leaned down. "I could keep you young," he murmured against her lips.
"Rumple, you know how I feel about magic," she protested weakly. At this point, his answer was enough to calm her fear. But she wouldn't settle for that. To watch all her loved ones die...as she and Rumple lived on... She could not live like that.
A frown crumpled Rumplestiltskin's features. Her response was definitely the one he was not looking for. He settled back on his side, keeping his balance with his elbow. His other arm lay over her stomach, his hand still tracing her ribs. "This is what has kept you up at night? What has caused your nightmares?" he wondered.
Belle didn't know whether he was trying to distract her or ask an honest question. She answered him, anyway. "Yes... We promised each other forever...but forever is not possible for us either way you look at it... You have the Dark Curse...and I...I will die somed—"
She did not finish because Rumplestiltskin clutched her tightly to his chest, melding her body against his. "I will not," he hissed into her ear, "let you die, Belle. I can't lose you again. Not when I have magic to save you..." He shook her before going still. His heartbeat pounded against her skin. Belle was shocked. How quickly her fear had fled and Rumplestiltskin's had risen!
"Rumple..."
"Shh, Belle..."
Belle swallowed and slowly wrapped her arms around him. She understood that her next words would be devastating for him. "I want us to be together...but I don't want magic to keep me young or from dying."
Shuddering, Rumplestiltskin buried his face in her hair. He inhaled sharply before gradually exhaling. He was silent as the cogs turned in his head, trying to find an answer for their terrible dilemma. No doubt he was flipping through all possibilities and weighing his options. The Dark Curse. True Love...
After what felt like forever, he sighed heavily and withdrew his face from her cascading hair. He looked as if a great burden had been placed on his shoulders, yet appeared resigned as if he was going to the guillotine. "Once..." he whispered, peering seriously into her eyes. "Once I made a promise to my son... If he could find a way to get rid of my magic, I told him I would do it—that I would give up magic." She listened intently even though she had heard this tale before. "The whole purpose of my existence—up until now—has been to find him...to find Baelfire. Belle...once I find him, once I get him back, I promise—swear—we will break this curse. When we return to the Enchanted Forest, True Love's Kiss will work. So...I'll make you a new deal."
Belle's breathing was unsteady and her eyes were wide. She stared up at her lover in wonder. "Yes?"
"When I find Bae, we will break the Dark Curse... All that I ask is that you spend the rest of your days by my side...as my wife. I want to spend all the time I have left with you, Belle." His voice grew hoarse at the end.
Belle felt tears break over the dam of her eyes and streak down her cheeks. "You'd do that...for me? Give up your magic?"
Tears were in Rumplestiltskin's eyes, and he nodded gravely, smiling nonetheless. "I would," he said, putting all his emotion into those two words. "I swear it."
"Then yes," she gasped, running her hands down his lean back. He blinked and let out a shaky exhale. "Yes, I will marry you and be with you as long as I draw breath." She kissed him greedily then, tugging him down so that their bodies were fully pressed together. He groaned into her mouth, plundering her with his tongue.
It was as if this were a dream! How could such a fear be extinguished so easily? It had been obliterated with honesty, a promise, and a beautiful deal. Dimly, Belle felt foolish for drawing out their combined suffering and squabbles when this could have been an earlier result.
They would grow old together and, in a way, it was a new promise of forever.
And that was enough for her as he laid her down and took her in the shelter of his arms.
A/N: I am somewhat disappointed that Once did not depict this issue between Belle and Rumple. I've always wondered if they ever discussed his immortality in secret before Lacey. Well...this is how I picture it. What did you guys think? Thanks to DruidKitty for the title of this one-shot :)
