A/N: This is a one-shot, based on the song "Last Kiss" by Taylor Swift. Only in Cammie's POV. If you are prone to crying, I WARN YOU. DON'T READ:)
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Ally Carter. I do not own, except the plot.
I still remember the look on your face, lit through the darkness at 1:58.
The words that you whispered, for just us to know.
You told me you loved me, So why did you go?
Away? Away….
"Cammie I love you. I've known it for a while, but I wasn't sure. But I am now," Zach whispered into my ear on a windy day.
"I love you too, Zach," I whispered back. We kissed and it was a sweet, but strong.
*2 weeks later*
I walked through the Gallagher hallways, just for some time to think. A hand grabbed my arm from behind me and turned me around. It was Zach. I still remember how he looked that night. Vulnerable and weak. Yet satisfied, and emotionless…
"Zach?" I asked. He didn't reply and looked down.
"I don't want anything to get in the way of being a spy. So Cammie…It's over."
"What? Why?" I all but yelled, tears forming around the edges of my eyes. He just gave a slight nod, not giving me an answer and strolled away. Out of my life, forever.
I do recall now, the smell of the rain.
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane.
That july 9th, the beat of your heart.
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms.
It's been 3 years since that happened. I'm 20 now. I remember my first mission ever, that lasted months. I thought of you (we were still together) and how I missed you while I was away. I was on my way back to Roseville and slept through the long plane ride home. As the doors of the plane opened, I didn't wait to get my luggage out. I saw you and you were my everything that moment. I sprinted across the concrete runway and threw myself into your arms. Inhaling your scent, I snuggled into your familiar chest, so happy, so content. I heard your heart, pounding at my touch and I leaned closer to your chest, trying to hear the fast rhythm of the thump-thump-thump. I leaned up to give you a peck on his lips. We then moved back, and I held your arms as you held onto my waist. I still remember the smile you gave me, the beauty of it all.
And now I'll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes.
All that I know is, I don't know how to be something you miss.
Never thought we'd have a last kiss, never imagined we'd end like this.
Your name, forever on my lips.
Now, I'm in my room. The one I used to share with my three friends: Macey, Liz, and Bex. But they've gone to different parts of the world, on different missions, on different levels and fields of the CIA and M16. I've never been able to get over him…Zach. It took all the courage I could muster up to leave Gallagher and accept missions from the director, himself. I knew Zach was in the CIA. I never wanted to see him again, or it would kill me. But I'd have to pretend. Because, after all…Isn't that what spies do? Though I would have never known till later, that first mission, would be our last kiss. Everyday, I know you've moved on with your life. And I know, you have girls throwing themselves at you and worshipping at your feet. But you've forgotten the past. You've forgotten me. That's why I'm still in my room, wearing the one jacket you gave me, when I was cold. It still has your scent. But I miss you. Zach.
I do remember, the swing in your step.
The life of the party, you're showing off again.
And I roll my eyes and then you pull me in.
But I'm not much for dancing, but for you I did.
We were dancing at Gallagher's annual ball hosted my Madame Dabne.
"I'm a master at this," you said, winking at me. But in truth, you really were the best. Every girl in the hall that day was watching you and your elegant steps. I rolled my eyes at your goofiness and walked to the punch bowl but was glad that…for once, everything was good. Everything was okay. Like Ke$ha would say…"The party don't start till I walk in." And you grabbed my hand, twirling me slightly. The black and white moment was picture perfect. You were laughing and I could imagine everything in slow motion. Your gorgeous face, your carefree look…Everything.
"I can't dance!" I whimpered, trying to pull away.
"Gallagher girls can do anything. Please Cam?"
You smirked and I tried. I gave it my all, because of you. I did it for you.
Because I love your handshake, meetin' my father.
I love how you walk, with your hands in your pockets.
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something.
There's not a day, I miss those rude interruptions.
I took you to see officially see my mom, the headmistress at Gallagher, because we were official. The way you shook her hand was different…You seemed like you had been waiting for us to be official. I admired the strong and confident handshake you gave my mom. And our date in Roseville on this convenient Fridays…You would walk with me, sticking your hands in your pockets. Just like Josh used to do. Just like all boys do. But you were special, and I knew that from the beginning. I used to speak my mind and you would cut me off by pressing your lips to mine. I would scold you for interrupting me in a rude manner and you would shrug it off. Now, I wish it would still happen. I miss it all. There isn't one day I don't think about us.
And I'll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes.
All that I know is, I don't know how to be something you miss.
Never thought we'd have a last kiss, never imagined we'd end like this.
Your name, forever the name on my lips.
And I can't do this anymore. I sit in the corner of my room, wallowing for us. Hoping you'd return to me someday. But hoping never does any good. After these years, the jacket no longer smells like you anymore, but rather like me. If only there was someday I could go back to the airport from my first mission, and tell you how much I love you. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe I was too worried. But this was because of that fight. Isn't it, Zach? That silly, stupid fight about whether or not we could make our relationship last while being spies in action. I thought we could, but you…you didn't believe. But I'll never forget you. The one who saw through me, the one I loved, the one I'm still waiting for…I love you.
So I watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep.
And I feel you forget me, like I used to feel you breathe.
And I keep up with our old friends, just to ask them how you are.
Hope it's nice where you are.
I pick up the one picture we have together: with you and I hold handing hands and laughing, eating cotton candy at the Roseville carnival. I still see you when I rarely go to work at the C.I.A. base. It hurts Zach, it kills me. I remember when we used to lay down, and I would always hear your slow, soft breaths. I still ask Grant and Jonas how you're doing. They always tell me, to get over you, Zach. But the problem is…I can't. I see you spending your time with other girls, taking them to the movies, hugging them, walking with the girls in the park. I wish that was us, Zach. I wish we could spend time, go to the movies, hug, and take a walk in the park. But it's over. And I'm sorry that happened. I hope you get the best and have the best girl. One who can understand you better than I can. One who can love you more than I can. And one who you simply care for more than you cared for me.
And I hope the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day.
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.
You can plan for a change in weather or town, but I never planned on you changing your mind.
And though I feel like my world is upside down, I can see the sun and my life ahead of me through my bedroom window. If only…you had stayed. There's no hope dwelling for a future with you. Because nothing is always good in the life of a spy. There's always the clouds and the sun. On sunny days, plans for the outdoors. On dark days, plans for the indoors. But us? I didn't know you'd make your own plans and leave me behind.
So I'll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes.
All that I know is I don't know, how to be something you miss.
Never thought we'd have our last kiss, never imagined we'd end like this.
Your name forever the name on my lips, just like our last kiss.
So here I am writing this letter to you. I'm putting all my hopes and dreams into every word. And I've sealed the envelope with a kiss. I forgive you. And I'm sorry. I tried, I tried to be the girl of your dreams, the one you'd never forget…But things never go my way. As I write this letter, I still remember our last kiss. After my first mission. But I realize, that I can't make my situation any better. I can't live, knowing that you are out there, not caring about me. Just know that…I've loved you. And I do. And I will. Always. My last request to you is: Please don't worry. Bye, Zach.
I Love You,
Cameron Ann Morgan
I mailed that note to Zach last night. It should have reached him by now. Like I had mentioned, I didn't want to keep suffering. So I ran to the bathroom of my dorm, locked the door, and picked up a gun I kept under the sink. Holding it to my head, I had one last thought. I love you Zach. Goodbye. And then, I pulled the trigger.
A/N: AHHH I was crying while writing this. It is SO saddd…Like seriously. And just know…this is a ONE-SHOT. And now it's time for me to update my other stories. So sorry for the neglect but I hope this made it better! I was listening to my iPod and I knew I HAD to write this song. So.. R&R! Read my other stories and PM me if I should write more one-shots, long stories, none, or both!(: Oh and I wrote this in 2 days since my school closed due to a snow day! So this is a once-in-a-lifetime quickie:)
~Allie Goode
