"Do we have ice cream gnomes?" comes Emma's muffled voice from deep inside the freezer.

"No, just the regular garden gnomes that I know of," Henry responds without missing a beat.

"I swear I put two gallons of vanilla ice cream in here last night to go with your grandmother's peach cobbler."

Killian and Henry pause momentarily from cleaning the dinner plates off the table to exchange a quick glance which Emma misses from behind the freezer door.

"Oh! Sorry about that lass. Midnight snack and all. I didn't realize it was reserved." Killian shrugs and then smiles in apology.

"You ate two gallons of ice cream last night?"

"Careful, Killian. Forget jeans, we're going to have to introduce you to elastic waistbands next." Snow interjects from her seat at the table as she absentmindedly pats Neal on the back.

"I may have helped a bit." Henry offered, knowing that it seemed like a more likely story. Emma had commented on more than one occasion that teenage Henry was currently eating them out of house and home. "I can go grab more though!"

"Yes, led the lad run down to the dairy before dessert. " Killian pressed a twenty into Henry's palm while urging him towards the front door with an arm around his shoulder. "Take your time. I could use a rest after that dinner anyways."

He closed the door behind Henry to find Emma standing disturbingly close and sizing him up.

"You're not lying to me, but you should know I'm not 100% buying this."

"Of course, I'm not lying to you love, I know better than that." He grins and tries to kiss her to distract her attention.

"Still here!" Charming reminds them from the kitchen.

By the time Henry returns, Killian has refilled their wine glasses several times over and no one notices that it's almost midnight. Or that the ice cream he bears is completely melted.


It happens again about a week later.

"Killian!"

"Yes, love?"

"Did you finish all the ice cream again? I put a pint of peanut butter swirl in here not two days ago!"

"Sorry, love?"

She just glares at him.

"I only meant to have a bite. But there were no commercials on that Netflix of yours, and it was starting to melt, so I just...finish it off. But don't worry. Henry! How about running out and grabbing us some sundaes?"

She's never seen her son pulled from a video game so easily, or get out the front door that quickly.

"I'm still not buying this, just so you know," she assures Killian as he wraps his arms around her from behind and begins kissing his way up her neck slowly. She glares at him in their reflection in the now silenced television, but allows him to take advantage of the empty apartment (and her) anyway.


It's another week before she decides to take preemptive action and stop at the ice cream shoppe herself on the way home from the station. She decides it's safer to get her ice cream in single serve quantities that she can eat before anyone else gets to it.

It takes her less than 30 seconds of standing in line to pay for her order to put the pieces together. She's both proud and annoyed that it took her this long to figure it out.

She's tempted to run home and call them both out, but decides revenge will be sweeter delayed.


She waits until Friday night when Henry is supposed to spend the weekend at Regina's. Dinner is just Emma and Killian, pizza eaten straight out of the box on the floor in from the television. Emma waits patiently until Killian is finishing his third slice.

"It's a nice night. Let's take a walk into town for a milkshake."

"I thought we were having pizza to take a break from Granny's?" his eyes never leaving the movie that plays before them.

"No not Granny's. That new little ice cream place next to the library."

She has to thump Killian on the back to keep him from choking to death on the last bit of crust.

"Something wrong?"

"No, no. Just, ah, surprised... I didn't expect the brother to be the murdered in this picture."

"Lie."

"Had a big lunch?"

"Lie."

He sighs and knows he's been bested. "You know don't you?"

"Know what? That you've been playing my son's wingman for weeks? That the mysterious case of the disappearing ice cream is all because of a girl? The cute little blonde girl who works at the ice cream shoppe?" She might have gotten a little more shrill than she intended at the end there.

He has the decency to look a bit sheepish, scratching behind his ear as he tries to come up with an explanation.

"I just thought... see, he was embarrassed and I know he's your son, but your his mother, one of two actually, and this is just..."

"A guy thing?"

She understands. She really does. At Henry's age she was desperate for a mother to explain to her how to be a teenage girl. And she knows that no matter how much she tries, having two moms does not fill up the hole that Neal left behind. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a bit though. A hurt which she consciously pushes aside when she realizes that Killian is still sitting there, eyes wide and anxiously holding his breath.

"I overstepped, didn't I? I wasn't sure if this was one of those parent things, and I was going to ask David first, but then I thought if he had wanted David to know he would have told him, and frankly your father can be a bit of a woman himself over these kinds of things, so I just..."

She kisses him to cut off his nervous babbling. She knows he's reliving her reaction to the whole kidnapping Henry to New York thing all over again. But right now she loves this man for taking care of her son, the son who she really can't let get away with this scheming quite as easily.

She pulls away quickly to stand and tosses him his jacket from the coat rack. "Come on, you can buy me a milkshake as penance."

"But I thought that was just a ruse to force my confession?"

"It was. But you're right. I'm his mother. I can't be his wingman, but I do get the right to spy and embarrass him in public."

"Swan! Wait!" But she's out the door before he can stop her. He takes the spare minute to fire off a quick SOS text to Henry. Followed by an apology. His wingman days are definitely over.