Sup. This is my first fic to this fandom. I have no excuse.
Oh, English is not my first language (it's not even my second) so if you found some typo or grammatical error, please do tell me.
Enjoy.
"Uh, Corporal?"
"What?"
"That's, um, I mean, no, that's not it, it's just—."
"Spit it out, kid. Don't you dare to fucking stutter on me."
"Y-yes, Sir!"
"So? What is it?"
"I like you sir."
God, or someone, he should've seen that one coming.
"I'm sorry, Sir."
"Why?"
"Eh? Are you asking me why I apologizing or why I said I li—?"
Why now?
"Why did you said such an unrelated matter now, of all times, when we are going out of the walls?"
Ah. His fault. Definitely his. He didn't mean it that way. If the kid catch the implicit meaning in the question he'd understand why Levi said it that way. The hurt looking expression that came across him told Levi everything, though. That no, he didn't. And yes, that look was making his heart clenched.
But this is the best option he had.
"I'm sorry."
"That's not the answer I want, isn't it?"
"Yeah…Um, I think it's because we're going out of the wall."
Yeah. Because out there, without the protection of the goddess—or whoever that men in white-black suit worshipped, there were too much possibilities of losing you. Yeah.
"I'm sorry I said it."
Stop it. Just fucking stop this conversation, stop the carriage, the horse, the sound of smoke guns, the time. Everything.
"It might be unrelated with the mission. I mean, it's obviously not in the mission. But I personally think that's not stupid one to say. If you think so that is.
He never said—he never thought it that way. Because he never found the courage to do so. Never.
"I just want you to know—"
"Jaeger."
"I like you, corporal. I like you very much."
He shut his eyes didn't say anything. Keeping every surge and feeling under the surface. Forcing himself so hard to not pulled the horse rein in his hands and stopped and got off the saddle, possibly pulling Eren with him. And, maybe, he would hold him and looked into those beautiful eyes—
But they can't. Because the world was fucking unfair.
Today, 2014.
Ring. Ring.
"Wait, Erwin. Let me get this one."
He put the paper he'd been holding and reached out a hand to the telephone next to him. He hesitated for a moment, and then instead of picking it up, he punched the loud speaker button. Why not? He was great at multitasking, he always was.
"Levi," he said shortly, starting to pick up his abandoned paper, collecting it and ordering it neatly—
"CORPORAL!"
—And the hands stopped moving. He glanced at the telephone—the screen was glowing a dim green light, showing that it still connected to the caller, and then he glanced at Erwin, who sat across to him, and now arching his eyebrows curiously at him, and Levi couldn't stop himself from tching and turned to the telephone.
"Connie, you shit."
"E-EH?"
"I told you to stop calling me that, didn't I?"
"Y-yes, Sir!"
Levi sighed, he knew Erwin was snickering at him although he still had his glare on the phone. Stupid subordinates. He really should have argued with Erwin about accepting the worker. Past life and memories be damned.
He glanced at the telephone's screen again and noticed something.
"Why my screen shows me this unknown number?" He wondered aloud.
The reply came fast. "My battery's dead, sir. And I didn't bring any back ups or power banks, so."
"Do not call to the office with some random phones, you punk," Levi said. "Even if you were in holiday—"
"I-I'm not, sir!" Connie shriek.
"I thought it was a convention?" That was Erwin.
Whatever. It was never been his odd to make a good joke. Not that he was intend it to be one.
"So what is it?"
"Eh—what?" The voice seemed unsure. "Oh!"
Another sigh.
Bu then, even when Levi had waited for a good two—now three—minutes, Connie hadn't said a thing. The shimmering light from the screen and the soft—and rather fast—sound of Connie's breathing are the only clues that they were still connected.
Levi tapped the telephone frame impatiently, as if the action could called out the other one. "Oi," he said. He casted a glance and threw his co-worker a look.
Erwin answered it with an arched eyebrow, this time, it meant: I don't know, Levi. Maybe he ran just now, and maybe it is raining there, or anything could possibly happen. But no, there is no way he do it merely for prank, not for you. So at least wait a little longer, do not end the call.
Levi glared. Now the paper works were abandoned. Are you fucking serious?
Another gracefully arched eyebrow: Look here—
"Um."
—see?
"Connie, if you don't speak a word until three. The police will never find your bo—."
"I found him, sir."
Thump.
Are you fucking sure? "What state are you in right now? Drunk in some strange city?"
"N-no, sir!" The worker replied, and then slowly continued. "If I were drunk, I'd be singing on the pub table like Zac Efron, not calling you like this..sir."
Levi considered this for a moment, clicking his tongue. "You have a point."
"So," Connie said. "I found him."
"Repeat." The command sound strained, and at the same time, shallow.
Connie repeated his sentence, and Levi heard the same composition of words.
The voice was so soft, and unsure, but in the deafening silent room, Levi could hear it crystal clear. And he didn't need to ask who was his subordinate talking about. But still, he opened his mouth;
"Elaborate." Desperate.
The command rung through the entire room.
And so, the latter did. Levi had his focus locked to every words that came from the speaker, clinging to the very detail the information held. He never interrupted, he didn't even saying anything at all. He just sat there, processing what he had heard, and still hearing, hands clenched and unclenched, memories came and gone. Breath held. Soul trembled.
He didn't want to expect something this vague, but—please.
While he was listening, Erwin had someone on his phone.
"Levi," he called.
Finally, Levi cut Connie mid-story, said to the worker that they would continue it, and turned to Erwin, so fast his neck would have snapped. "What?"
Erwin held out his hands in surrendering gesture, one was holding his cell phone. "Easy, corporal." Levi glared dagger at him and the man snorted a short, but still amused, laugh. "I just want to ask you when will you go there." He referred to the location Connie had mentioned.
It didn't take a second for Levi to say, "I'm going to leave the office early." He didn't give any spaces to argue.
And Erwin knew it already. He smiled at his friend anxiousness and awkwardness in his amusing way. "Glad I've booked you the next flight."
Levi glared at the person sat across him. "Why are you here?" He asked accusingly.
"Because one of my bestest friend is going to meet his one and only soul mate!"
"Erwin."
"Don't be like that, Levi," said Erwin next to the woman. "We both know that Hanji was the only one who could pull some seats in the most critical moment we can imagine."
"Tell me why we don't use your private jet?"
"It broke since the last use because of the Katrina."
"That fucking storm," Levi cursed. He glanced at Hanji, who still looking at him with that look between giddy and overly happy gaze, she clasped her hands and just opened her mouth when Levi raised his hand. "Don't talk to me, shitty glasses."
Smile on Hanji's face didn't faltered, instead she turned to Erwin. "He is giddy," she stated happily. Levi scowled and focused on the plain grey landscape outside the plane. He just hoped that there'd no storm happens when he still in the plane, or better, when he arrived.
"As giddy he can be," Erwin agreed, and Levi scowled deeper.
"Shut up, you two."
Hanji said something to Erwin—or maybe at him? Not that he cared—and when he didn't say a thing, the two started to talk between themselves. Levi only listened to it halfway before his focused went to something else entirely, out from the first class plane, higher than 2000 feet beneath the land, farther than his imagination could reach. Someplace even he didn't dare to dream.
He sighed a shivered breath. In the whole 5 hours of flight, he didn't close his eyes at all.
Even it was so vague it could only be a possibility, it was a very good dream, and he didn't want to wake up from it.
That bastards were right. He was giddy.
Levi almost afraid to step out from the plane. Afraid of 'what if's he'd been asking himself in the whole flight (what if Connie was drunk? What if his—and Erwin's—were playing with his—and Erwin's again—mind? What if he couldn't find that person? What if—insert the scariest what if question here—?) Afraid of the seed that had been growing wild inside him in the 5 hours interval. Afraid it would explode and shattered his heart, feelings, if he hadn't lost it some centuries ago.
Almost.
"Aah, my body feels stiff from sitting that long," Hanji whined while stretching her sore muscles.
"Nobody asked you to come," Levi muttered darkly.
Even if Hanji had heard it, she hidden it well. "So, where did he said he would be waiting for us?"
"Gate 32," Levi answered curtly. Expression flat, head straight. And what the others couldn't see: his thundering heart beat as the steps he took.
He have not even near anywhere he expected, yet he felt his being would explode anytime soon. Good thing? Bad thing? He wasn't sure.
They walked pass a couple of souvenir shops when Erwin spotted him, being the tallest he was, "There he is," He said, gesturing the location with his chin.
Levi followed his direction and saw Connie—with his white shirt's sleeves pulled up and coat draped on one hand—waving at them.
As the walked closer, Levi noticed that his subordinated was not alone. Next to him, stood a girl that looked strangely familiar to him. The girl was munching something that looked like a product from the crepes store behind them, her ponytail swinging as she chew. Realizing she was being stared at, the girl lifted her head, meeting Levi's gaze. Levi would swear he saw a medium-sized chunk of the snack fell from that mouth when her lips formed a silent "OMIGOD."
However, it took Levi until they right in front of their pick uppers when everything in Levi's mind clicked.
"Braus," he noted, unintentionally mouthing the past name of the girl in front of him.
The effect was instant. The girl quickly put the rest of her snack in her mouth and swallowed it whole it had to be hurt, before answering with a loud "SIR!". Right hand clenched in front of her while the other was on her back. A form of an already extinct salute.
Levi froze, and beside the girl, Connie looked like someone just clapped loudly on his face.
"Sasha," he scolded her. "I told you just now to not doing it!"
"Eh? Wha—did you—?"
"It's okay."
The two turned their heads and Levi realized he was the one who said that. He coughed and looked at Sasha, "You're the one who lent this stupid punk a phone, I suppose."
Sasha nodded, a little too fast. "Sir, Yes sir!"
Levi felt it, the gazes from the passer-bys, and scowled. There was s snort from his back (had to be Erwin's) and a giggle (unsurprisingly Hanji's) that pulled the girl attention from him. Her eyes widened at the two other figures she just noticed. "Oh, um, Commander Erwin, and Miss Hanji—"
Levi sighed. It always been like this since as long as he could remember. People who recognized them from the previous life saluting and yelling their responses in such a military way it never failed to turn people attention to them. Levi sighed even more at the memories.
Levi could still hear Erwin amused tone as the man spoke, "Please drop the honorific, Miss Brauss. We're not in the military anymore to be addressed in such way."
"YES SIR!"
"And stop yelling." This one was from Levi.
"YE—s, sir." The last part was whispered.
Levi nodded in satisfaction. Finally, he looked at Connie. "So," He said. Only one word, and yet the latter understood the whole meaning of it.
"Let's go to the car," Connie said.
"Actually, it's not like "I" found him," Connie started. "It's actually some accident that Sasha and I met on the street."
"Oh, so you recognize each other soon after you feel the other's presence?" Hanji excitedly asked, leaning her body between the front seat of Sasha mini van, so she could see Connie and Sasha's faces.
"It's hard not to," Sasha admitted between munching an oat biscuit.
Beside her, Connie nodded seriously. "Exactly, especially when you bump the others with your massive forehead."
There was a loud screech when the wheels slipped and missed the road border by an inch.
"MY FOREHEAD IS NOT THAT WIDE!"
"LOOK AT THE ROAD STUPID!"
"So…you didn't have that telepathy thing happened at all? All just mere coincidences?" Hanji sounded dejected somehow, and Levi snorted on the back seat.
"Yeah, at first I thought she won't remember me, because all she did was nursing her cookies, but then she looked at me and started to cry," Connie sighed, scratching the back side of his neck awkwardly. "From there I knew she remember me, too."
Hanji humming in appreciation, "Well, I didn't cry when I met Levi and Erwin," she mused.
"I'm not sure myself, but the second I recognized him—I don't know, the tears just flow."
From his seat, Levi could see the tip of his ear went red as his subordinate poked the side of Sasha's head. "You're such a crybaby."
"But maybe Levi would experience the same thing, wouldn't he?" Hanji chirped, glancing at Levi from her shoulder.
Levi rolled his eyes, didn't say anything, and at the same time didn't believe at his own voice to not stuttering some stupid reply. He was to giddy for that. Instead, he looked at Erwin who sat beside him and asked, "How's the office?"
Erwin, checking his smart phone for one more time before put it in his bag, answered, "It's okay, I guess. We just left for a couple hours earlier. And no contract to be made too."
Levi nodded and looked at the view from behind the window. They already reached a small city. Sasha's and Connie's banter were being a background song behind him. It's funny how the young adult could sound so childish when they were being with another.
Thump.
Levi sighed a shivered breath, secretly touch a point on his neck where his pulse could be felt and felt it thumping loudly, anxiously. He leaned his forehead on the window, feeling the coolness spreading on his skin. He shut his eyes for the first time in the whole 6 hours.
I miss you so much.
Levi smirked at his own words.
So much it hurts.
Because the world was fucking unfair.
"Oi."
No response.
"OI."
He heard shouting behind him.
"WAKE UP."
People rushed to every direction possible, bringing everything possible in their hands. Medicine, gas supply, body—
"…wake up."
"Please."
"Hey."
"I can't do this without you anymore."
"We win. We finally win. You said you want to see the ocean right?"
"Come on. Let's go there together."
"Please, open your eyes."
"Please please please, I'm sorry I left you. It's my fault, all of it. So please, wake up. I'm sorry. So very sorry."
"No, you can't—STAY WITH ME—No, no. Eren Jaeger—"
"…Corporal?"
He didn't care it the hair was matted with blood—whose blood, he didn't care either, he kissed his head, nuzzling it slowly in order to not moving the body too much. His breath was shaking, and so was his hands that circling the other person in his hold. But he didn't care, because that person alive.
"You're safe. You're safe. You're with me. It's okay. Okay. You're okay. We're okay." The rushed whispers came out too gentle and full of relief for his own liking but he couldn't deny the small smile was worth anything.
Sunshine.
Levi stared at the name board.
So here it is, huh, he thought, glancing around. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "How're you feeling?"
He looked up at Hanji. "I don't know what should I feel," he replied honestly. "Is that weird?"
The small smile on the veterinarian's face this time was reassuring. "No, it's not."
"Hanji."
"Yeah?" Said the bespectacled woman.
Levi didn't say anything for a moment, taking his time to take a deep breath, before saying a soft. "Thank you."
There was a cough behind them.
"You too, Erwin."
"Oh, come on, I did nothing."
When Levi entered the café, he found it more crowded than he had expected. He could hear people talking, some teenagers laughing at one corner, couples smiling at each other. He checked his watch, it wasn't even diner time yet.
Sasha found them an empty table and they sat. As they did so , though, Levi couldn't help it anymore, he started to sneak some peeks at every corner he could see from his seat, desperately trying to spot a certain person with messy brown hair, tan skin, glazing green orbs, and perhaps, a smile.
Unconsciously, he put a hand on his neck, feeling the hard pulse under his skin. Hope. After meeting Sasha, he had been feeling the hope inside him getting bigger and bigger. Asking to be acknowledged, begging to be fulfilled. It made him anxious, he almost never felt like this, this amount of anxiousness, it was the first. It made his pulse faster, made his eyes wandering, made him felt light-headed because of the doses. It was hope.
And he swore he almost exploded when their waiter came.
"Armin." Erwin was the first to recognize him. They were close enough—war often brought them together, being strategists they had been—to Erwin called him his first name.
The boy was the same as Levi saw him the last time, which was 2000 years ago. He still kept his blonde hair in shoulder-length, his expression still as unsure as ever—but there was nobody who dares to guess what's in his head, and his blue eyes still glowing with knowledge, and now, respect and amazement.
Just when Armin start to move, Levi brought his hand up. "Don't. You. Dare. To. Fucking. Salute. Us. Arlert."
The amazement in the boy's eyes turned into confusion, and Levi snorted inwardly. Learning from the experience, they say.
"Um, I never expected to meet you here, Sir, Ma'am, " the boy said, hands fiddling with the pen and menu papers. "But I guess you have a reason, yeah?" At this, Levi felt the boy glanced ay him. To confirm the implicit question, he stared back at those blue sky orbs.
Armin expression changed into a soft one and said, putting the menu papers on the table. "So, do you want something to eat or drink while you wait?"
The was a hopeful gasp came from his left—undeniably Sasha's—and Hanji clapping happily "It's on Erwin!" which followed by Erwin dry laugh (the man must had seen this coming but never expected it to be true)and loud squeals from Sasha.
They ordered—"Give me your best black tea" from Levi—and Armin walked back to the supposedly kitchen direction. Levi's eyes followed the boy, not wanting to miss the chance to catch a glimpse of the person he had been looking for. But even after Armin's back missing behind the door, Levi failed to see what he wanted. With a long sigh he flopped back to his chair.
Someone nudged his side.
"What?" That question came out more snappy than he thought. Not that he cared.
"Ooh, someone's sulky here~"
He shot Hanji a glare, unsurprisingly failed to shut the woman up, so he turned to Erwin and repeated his question.
The only answer he got from the man was a short word. "Patience."
Levi dived to the blue eyes disbelievingly, and was fully welcomed by understanding gaze and absolute calmness. He stared challengingly for some good moments before looking away with a rather childish huff. "He's just so fucking close," he muttered softly so only Erwin could hear.
The man did. But didn't response to that.
Levi wanted to yank his hair so much until it hurts. Sure, Levi could totally spot the building frustration inside him. He had live this life for 36 years and never once, even in his wildest dream, he had hoped this much. And when the feast for his hunger just within his reach, just how could he not extend his arms?
His hands hurt because he clenched too strong, he unclenched it slowly and saw the angry nail marks on his palms.
Patience you funny eyebrows.
A soft thump on the table pulled him from his daze to….a brown-haired woman, with glazing green orbs. Who was putting their order on the table. Who looked so damn familiar with a slight of than tan skin. Who was offering him with that smile—
"Sorry for the wait," she politely said. She regarded Levi a glance, and Levi only could stare back silently. Words are a foreign term to him. He didn't want to know what expression he was wearing, because it should be comically hilarious.
Sasha seemed to be the only one who didn't affected by the woman's presence. "It's okay, thanks!" The girl said, then she turned to her right, where him, Erwin, and Hanji were sitting. "Anyway, from the right is Mr. Erwin, Miss Hanji, and Levi.
At the mention of his name, the woman looked at him and those eyes glinting in a way he didn't dare to name. But then she smiled, beautifully and what Levi wanted was only to reach out.
Thump.
"The Humanity's strongest?"
A nod. Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
"I'm Carla," She said. "Carla Jaeger."
Oh.
...oh.
Maybe she saw his mixed expression between confused, then realization, then gladness because she giggled. "Is this seat occupied?" Shake. "No?" Nod. "Is it okay if I sit here?" Nod. "Yeah?" Nod. "Thanks."
Hanji was the first one who talked. "Carla Jaeger," She said the name with a thoughtful tone. "If I were right. You were Eren's mother, yes?"
Carla smiled. "Yes, I was. And I still am."
An indescribable warmness rushed through Levi when he processed the idea.
Before he even realized it, his mouth already moving. "How is he?"
Despite of the anxiousness he sure the woman also realized it, Carla still looking at him with that same calm and kind expression. Fuck, that smile must be permanent. "He's fine," She said with an assuring tone. "Still energetic and stubborn as ever. Oh well, nothing changed much, I guess." When she said that, she look at the window with fond expression, just for a moment though, because then her eyes were back at them and all Levi could see was the cheerful mother.
"Please," she gestured to the food and beverages on the table. They were too surprised to touch the plates, because there's none of them who had seen Eren's mother in the past 2000 years. Except Sasha of course, Levi could see from the corner of his eyes the girl munching the food slowly as if she didn't want to disturb them. This time he appreciated the girl manner.
He picked up his cup by the edge of its mouth and brought it to his lips. "They have good tea," he noted, sipping his assam tea once more. After he had enough, he lowered the cup. "Mrs. Jaeger."
"It's Carla."
"So," Levi said, his voice urgent. "If I may ask. Where is he?" Even though he just had his tea, his mouth feels weird and his lips were dry. "Where is Eren?"
It was not possible to miss the mischievous glint in those eyes. And for a fraction of moment she looked like Erwin when the man just found a great strategy for their next mission. Ecstatic and full of secret.
Unconsciously, he sipped his tea again. He could clearly feel his pulse went faster than before.
"Right here."
As if on cue, the door not too far from their table opened.
…The time stopped. And so was his pulse. He couldn't feel it. He couldn't breath at all. Let alone to move and to jump over the table because goddamn the three fucking walls; that person was here.
From his current spot, he could only see the back said, but it's impossible to not feel the rush of familiarity the time his eyes caught that skin color, that messy hair, that height, that posture, that aura. Everything.
He's here.
The boy walked to the piano in the center of the room that Levi didn't notice up until now. He also realized that now the room was silent. Everybody seemed to stop their activity to spend their time looking at the boy who now was swiping his finger on the edge of the piano, circling the black frame until he reached the seat behind it.
A sound of the key reached his ear and he focused on the boy again—not that he ever could tear his gaze away. Now that he already sat, Levi could see his facial better. It was also the time when Levi see that smile—
No.
"You don't have to shut your mouths up, guys. I still can operating well with noises," he said half serious and half jokingly, finger playing some notes on the piano, tuning the sound.
The customers laughed, but not Levi. Not when his breath hitched, for an entirely different reason from before.
No no no.
Thoughts buzzing in his head, making him light-headed.
This can not be happening. He reincarnated, right?
Then the pianist lifted his head at Levi's direction. Levi swore for everything he had hoped that he didn't recognize that eyes.
That dull, hollow eyes.
"My name is Eren Jaeger and I might not the best pianist ever. But I assure you, at least the music I'll play wouldn't blow your eardrums off."
"Eren, can you hear me?"
"Crystal, Corporal." Cough. "Are we in my room?"
"Why?"
"It's so dark in here. Can you please lit the candle over there. Shit. How could you even know that I'm awake anyway?"
"Eren."
"Yeah? Corporal, please? I want to see your."
"Eren, you're in the infirmary." A pause. "And the candles are lit."
"Enjoy."
