Jo Jo was hunched over his desk in his art history class. He sighed deeply and let his head fall onto the desk. Specs, who was sitting next to Jo Jo, peered over at him, concerned. Jo Jo was never very engaged during art history, since he had only enrolled in it so that he and Specs would be in the same class, but he also never outright ignored it. Specs had noticed that Jo Jo's usual exuberance had been absent since he walked into school that morning. He pushed his worries out of his mind for the time being and redirected his concentration to the lecture at hand, today's on pointillism.
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Specs pouted. He hated to leave art history, his favorite class. Jo Jo quietly packed up his belongings and slipped out of the room. Specs slung his binder over one shoulder and jogged out of the room.
He sidled up next to Jo Jo. "What's the matter? Did you not sleep well last night?"
"No, I didn't," Jo Jo said matter-of-factly.
Specs wanted to press further, but they had arrived at their English classroom and sat on opposite sides of the room. They each found their seats and prepared for another boring lesson. Specs normally loved English, but he thought that his teacher was utterly incompetent at teaching and out to leave her post and find a new job immediately. He sat silently, taking more of the encyclopedic notes he was known for. Every once in a while he would sneak a sidelong glance at Jo Jo, who continued to look tired and upset. Specs found himself having a harder time concentrating than usual, distracted by whatever was plaguing Jo Jo,
Jo Jo raised his hand and waited for Ms. Hernandez to call on him. When she did, he asked sluggishly, "May I go to the nurse?"
"Be my guest," Ms. Hernandez responded politely.
Specs frowned and rested his head on his desk. It was not until fifty minutes later, when the bell rang, that he realized he had been asleep. He gathered his belongings and dashed out of the classroom, too flustered to apologize to his teacher.
Specs strolled into the cafeteria to find that Jo Jo was already there and had saved him a seat at one end of their usual lunch table. Specs sat down. "Why did you have to go to the nurse today?"
Jo Jo looked uncomfortable. "I just haven't been feeling so great today and I really needed a nap. And I thought that I wouldn't be missing anything by leaving English because honestly, what are we learning in that class?"
Specs laughed. "Nothing." Then he added, "Why aren't you feeling so well?"
"It's kinda complicated. I don't know if I want to talk about it. No, I do want to talk about it, but I don't know if I want to talk to you...No I do want to talk to you, but I don't know if I want to do it now. I mean, well, I do, but I don't know if I'm ready," Jo Jo offered.
"You know you can always tell me anything," Specs murmured. He gave Jo Jo a quick peck on the cheek, noting happily that Jo Jo seemed to perk up at that, if only for a moment.
"Of course. It's just...I don't know...Can we eat alone together in an empty classroom today?"
"Sure," Specs complied. They lifted their lunch trays, left the cafeteria, and entered the first classroom they saw. Jo Jo threw the door shut behind them. They sat face to face on opposite sides of a desk.
"So...what's going on? Is there a problem?" Specs prompted.
"Uhhh…kinda…." Jo Jo started. He squirmed uncomfortably.
"You don't have to tell me what it is," Specs assured him. "I'm just worried about you." He presented Jo Jo with a kiss on the cheek and Jo Jo brightened momentarily.
"I mean, I'm fine. Or I will be. There's nothing terribly wrong. I just...I read something online last night and it made me think a lot, about myself, and I'm not sure exactly how to feel." Jo Jo saw the concern clearly written on Specs's face and attempted a smile. "I'm pretty sure this mood will blow over after a few days."
Jo Jo walked over to Specs and sat on his lap. Specs wrapped his arms around him. Jo Jo felt much more relaxed than he had been since the night before. They remained like this for the rest of the period, not hungry enough to bother finishing their lunches. When the bell rang, they quickly sprang from the chair they had been sitting on and vacated the classroom.
Specs and Jo Jo hurried to their lockers. Jo Jo shoved his lunchbox inside and reached for a red binder. Specs placed his lunchbox on his locker's top shelf and removed a black binder from the shelf below it. They walked in harried silence together to history class. Specs squeezed Jo Jo's hand and made to let go, but Jo Jo squeezed back and Specs continued to grip his boyfriend's hand. They swung their arms as they walked and Jo Jo was able to forget his worries for a moment.
Jo Jo stared blankly ahead for most of history, emerging from his stupor and jotting a few words of notes every once in a while. This unsettled Specs. History was Jo Jo's favorite subject by far and he usually enthusiastically participated in class discussions, but today he seemed to not be present in the class. Specs was also unable to focus, due to looking on to check on Jo Jo every couple of seconds.
After class, Jo Jo and Specs split, Specs heading to calculus and Jo Jo to physics. Specs embraced him briefly and dashed to his next class. Jo Jo ambled in the direction of his next class with his head down.
Specs was in his living room, finishing a reading assignment for English, when he heard a soft knock on the front door. He was puzzled. He was fairly sure that his family was not expecting any visitors tonight. Specs dog-eared the page he was on, shut the book, and set it onto the coffee table in front of the couch. He rose to answer the door.
Jo Jo stood in the doorway. He looked blankly at Specs. "Hey."
"Hey," said Specs, smiling in surprise. "Are you going to come inside?"
Jo Jo walked inside, avoiding eye contact with Specs. "I know I normally feel better after I talk to people about stuff that's going on with me. I thought I'd try that again, you know?" he said heavily.
Specs gazed sympathetically at Jo Jo, who looked like he was hurting terribly. "Come up to my room with me. I've still got homework to do, but that can wait. You're always more important."
Jo Jo sighed and tentatively followed Specs upstairs.
Once inside Specs's bedroom, Specs locked the door. He sank onto the edge of his bed and motioned for Jo Jo to sit beside him. Specs looked lovingly, encouragingly at him. Jo Jo's eyes watered. Specs grasped his hand. "Remember, you can tell me whatever you want. I'll love you no matter what."
Jo Jo gulped. "Like, that's the thing. I'm not so sure about that."
Specs's eyes widened. "You're worrying me."
"Can you just give me a minute?" Jo Jo asked glumly.
"Of course," Specs nodded amiably.
Jo Jo forced himself to take several deep breaths. He winced. "Okay. So I was messing around online last night, just reading about random stuff, you know? And I came across this thing and I'm pretty sure, no, I'm definitely sure," he shut his eyes now as if bracing for impact, "that I'm asexual. And I'm…I don't know! I don't know how I feel about that and I'm worried about how people will treat me and what that means for our relationship. And then I'm also super nervous because I don't remember ever feeling this bad before."
Specs caressed Jo Jo's back soothingly. "Wait. What do you mean by asexual?"
Jo Jo groaned and covered his face with his hands. "It…means that I'm not sexually attracted to anyone."
Specs gasped. "I didn't even know that that was—" he was cut off by Jo Jo's sobs.
"Thanks a lot, Specs," Jo Jo acknowledged morosely. "I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow. With that, he dashed out of Specs's house.
Specs's stomach turned uncomfortably. He ignored his discomfort for the time being and headed downstairs to finish his homework. Just under two hours later, he was done with all of his work. As he was packing all of his books into his backpack for the next day, he realized he was still unsettled from his previous encounter with Jo Jo.
He reached for his laptop and sprang up the steps to his room. He opened his computer at his desk and shifted impatiently in his seat while it woke up. As soon as it did, he opened a browser and typed "asexual" into the search bar. Frustratingly, all the results related to mitosis and asexual reproduction.
He amended his search to "asexuality." Among the first results was a website called the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. He clicked on the site. He read the overview and the various sets of frequently asked questions the website provided. He then clicked through some of the message boards. Everything felt much clearer now. When Specs glanced at the clock, he realized that nearly an hour had elapsed.
Specs dove for the phone in his room and dialed Jo Jo, wanting desperately to speak with him. To his chagrin, the phone immediately began beeping with a busy signal. Specs grumbled, then flopped onto his bed, defeated. He tossed and turned a long while before he finally fell asleep.
Specs rushed into history class, just before the bell rang, and collapsed into his usual spot beside Jo Jo. He pouted. Jo Jo had been ignoring him all day and he longed to talk to him, to explain his behavior yesterday. A few minutes into the lecture, he scribbled a note that read I'm not mad at you and discreetly passed it to Jo Jo.
Jo Jo opened the note. He was stunned. He wrote back, You're not?
Specs excitedly replied, Of course not!
Jo Jo frowned. Then why were you acting like that right before I left yesterday?
Specs stared at the ceiling for a good thirty seconds before he responded. I was kind of in shock. I didn't realize asexuality was an actual thing and that there was an explanation for how I've been feeling forever besides that there was something wrong with me. He slowly slid Jo Jo this note
As Jo Jo read the note, his face softened and his eyes gleamed. Do you mean what I think you mean? You're ace too?!
Yeah, Specs wrote back, and apparently I'm panromantic too?
Jo Jo was flabbergasted at this. Oh my gosh. Me too.
Specs felt content upon receiving this note. Jo Jo tapped him on the shoulder and pressed another note into his hand. Wow, thank you so much. I told you that talking to people about my problems always makes me feel better. And look! It's not even a problem anymore! It's amazing! I have no reason to feel alone anymore, now that I've got you. Oh my gosh, I love you Specs! Jo Jo was bouncing up and down in his seat, grinning from ear to ear.
Specs was beyond pleased that Jo Jo's personality seemed to have been restored. You've always had me, dork. I love you too. He drew a perfectly symmetrical heart and passed the paper back to Jo Jo.
Specs and Jo Jo did not pay attention to the lecture at all that day. The Cuban missile crisis was not all that important to them at the moment. They held hands under the desk for the rest of class. When the bell rang, Jo Jo jumped out of his seat and dragged Specs out of the classroom. "You know," Jo Jo said, a smile playing on his lips, "if the two of us went on a plane together then we'd be a couple of flying aces…."
