"Well, I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, do you? I know you don't listen to me, 'cause you say you see straight through me, don't you? But on and on from the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep, I'll be there by your side, just you try and stop me – I'll be there in line, just to see if you care . . ."
Simon didn't exactly know how to feel about his and Alisha's conversation at lunch before. But after that, he'd caught her staring at him curiously when she thought he wasn't paying attention. . . . It was very confusing to him as to what triggered this sudden interest in him. He hadn't acted any different than before, so he didn't know what happened. Had something happened to her?
As he walked towards the community center, these thoughts troubled him, but he was determined to figure it out. Simon tended to dwell on things.
Then, Alisha was suddenly by his side, and talking, but he couldn't hear her because of his music, so he pulled an ear bud out, slightly flustered. He caught the end of her sentence, how she'd tried to call out to him but he couldn't hear over his music, something that he obviously knew, but also obviously an attempt to soothe the awkward greeting. He wanted to ask her again why she was being so kind, what had changed, but she was already talking again, asking him what music he was listening to. . . .
OCTOBER 5TH
Their relationship was quite awkward, to be honest. Alisha found it was rather difficult to get Simon to be himself and bloody relax. However, once she managed to, it was wonderful, and sometimes she even caught signs of the Future Simon – her Simon.
Alisha new that Simon was tortured by the fact that he was not yet the man Future Simon was, but there wasn't much she could do about it except attempt to assure him they were the same person, and she did love him, and she was enjoying herself with him, really. However, Simon was still very insecure about it; she could tell by the way she woke sometimes to find him already sitting up awake in bed, his forearms on his knees and staring off into space – most of the time, at those damn clocks.
Her not being able to touch him was frustrating as well, for both of them. She actually reckoned Simon was a bit nervous about that, considering he always seemed to say rather odd and disturbing things – such as "I want to piss on your tits". She just needed to find out how she could touch Future Simon, because obviously they would find a solution sooner or later. She just hoped it was sooner.
She hated herself when she thought it, but she just sometimes wished things were like it was when she was with Future Simon – her Simon.
OCTOBER 29th
"You peed through the letter slot?" Alisha repeated, laughing.
Simon laughed, too, in his quiet sort of way, but a bit exasperated. "Yes. I still don't understand why that's so funny."
Alisha shook her head, spinning the beer bottle on the table. "I can't believe I've never heard that story before."
Simon shrugged, a rare smile on his intense face, and he shifted his eyes to his own bottle, as if prolonged eye contact made him nervous. Alisha sighed quietly and pulled a glove on, then put her hand on top of his. His eyes snapped up to their hands, then to meet her gaze, surprised. She smiled softly.
"You have wonderful eyes, you know that?"
He looked completely taken aback and Alisha was slightly surprised to realize she found it rather cute as he seemed to struggle with what to say.
"Thank you." he finally managed, his eyes shifting from the table to her, and she smiled, taking her hand off his.
"So, off to meet the others, yeah?"
