His Lonely Heart
He walks the streets of lonely Brooklyn. The rain pelts from above but nothing bothers him anymore. The dark and threatening sky reflects the man he's become, that harsh rain that pelts the side walk stands for all those unshed tears he's been holding inside. When will it all stop? When will the pain cease to exist? How does he keep moving through life when there's nothing left of the man he was... Then again was he ever a man? Or just a stupid love boy who fell in love with an angel?
He continued to walk like a puppet. Just one foot at a time. No place to go, no one needed him. He just didn't belong anywhere, not since she left anyway. He can still remember the night she left; it was a night very much like this.
He stood waiting, tonight would be the night. He would finally get the courage to ask the love of his life, no wait that doesn't sound right since he had ready died one, the love of his very being to marry him. A rippling sensation went through his body at the very thought, the nerves started to each away at his confidence... What if she doesn't say yes? What if she does say yes? How is he going to provide and be there for her? What if she just laughs at him? How is he going to do this? He had never had this feeling before but he did not like it. So instead of letting the nightmares degrade his confidence he busied himself over perfecting his shirt and dress pants. He was going to go for the full suit but just couldn't bring himself to do it. He liked the casual look to much.
A sudden loud chime bought him out of his worries; it was the alarm clock screaming at him that if he didn't get a move on he was going to be late. Sure it got rid of his old worries but the warning sound dumped a whole new load into the view.
He raced across the skies of New York, the feeling of riding a demon bike was amazing and he thought it right since such a happy memory of the two stuck this bike like a web of joy and love.
The trip seemed shorter than usual and before he knew it he stood in front of her door, all his worries returning. He bought his hand to the door and knocked three times. The sound echoed through his brain. Sweat formed on his hands and dripped down the back of his neck. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The seconds seemed to last year's until finally the door opened and there she stood. Hair wild and frizzled, face pale yet flushed. She stood at the door in nothing but a pair of trackies and a t-shirt. He had never seen anyone so beautiful. Even though she looked like she had just woken up rather than about to go out with her 2 year long boyfriend. This isn't what scared him though, oh no, the scariest part was the look of pure agony and guilt that smothered her emerald eyes. A twang of pain, gut wrenching heartbreaking pain hit him like a tonne of bricks and soon he couldn't breathe again. He stared into her eyes as she stepped aside silently inviting her into her small New York apartment.
He walked in to realize his worst nightmare was coming true. Nothing was left in her apartment. It was completely bare; the white walls seemed to scream at him. The bare tiled floors and empty kitchen scared him more than he cared to admit. This was it. The day he had dreaded. The only evidence that someone actually lived there was the two suitcases and duffel bags that stood in the middle of the entrance. They seemed to taunt him. He didn't even have the heart to glare at them oh no because at looking at the figure that stood behind them was enough to tear his soul to pieces right there and then.
A geeky, four eyed vampire stood there with a bag slung over his shoulder. The sadness and pity stood out to him. The vampire wore that look. The one that said yeah bitch i just stole your girl but I do feel bad about it. But not that bad.
He couldn't take the look in the vamps eyes any longer, he had always hated pity. Never saw what good such a mundane emotion would ever do for him, especially now. He turned around and looked towards his fallen angel. She had always referred to him as that but right now he felt more like a squashed bug and she stood there like an angel, he could almost picture her pure black wings ...
"Do I even want to know?" it was the first thing that any of them had said. His voice broke the silence with piercing clarity. It never betrayed his true emotions for which he was glad of, because if she could hear them it might send her running faster than she already was and no matter what his cocky attitude said he needed, he really did need to know what the hell was going on.
The angel went to say something but her mouth just froze partly open and a crease formed on her forehead where her two eyebrows had started to frown from lack of words or lack of patience. He wasn't quite sure which.
"Just spit it out. You seem to be in kind of a rush." he eyed the place warily. Yep she was defiantly in a rush if she thought it not best to even cancel the date but then again from the look of surprise on her face I wouldn't be surprised if she had completely forgotten, he thought.
Movement in his peripherals turned his attention to the moving vampire. The vamp had dumped the bag with the rest of the suitcases and slowly made his way towards the girl. The pain of what happened next could never be forgotten. It was the most excruciating pain he had ever known and hoped he would never know again. The vampire had gone and put his arm around his angel's waist, and she let him. Whatever was left of him seemed to turn to ash after that. He would never be the same.
He ran. The gesture was all he needed. He didn't need to hear her voice as she talked about another man. He could guess. He didn't need to watch the vamp as he bathed in all the glory of the prize which was the read headed angel.
No matter how hard he thought about the betrayal about the pain and the anguish he couldn't seem to hate the fallen goddess, he only envied her. That she had made it out of this ship wreck in one piece. He doubted there was even a word for what he felt like right now. It was as if someone had taken all the good out of him and set it on fire. As if someone had torn his heart out with a spoon then burnt it and laughed at the ashes. It was a though a greater demon had swallowed him whole only to throw him back up and start stabbing him slowly and painfully with barbed wire.
No this was completely different he thought. He would take any of that any day over this pain. He had never felt such a pain in his life and he hoped never to again.
The one last thing that would forever be imprinted in his mind till the day he died was the look on her face as he ran and her voice saying one word. A word that portrayed so many emotions that he never wanted to figure out. One word sent his whole world crashing.
"Jace," she had said. Just Jace.
