Title: The Other Roger
Rating: T for violence, swearing and seduction
Summary: "Hello," the rabbit says with a cheery smile, "You must be Roger!" A speech balloon pops up over his head bearing the words he has spoken. Roger's jaw drop on the unvacuumed floor. WARNING: Contains spoilers for the book where the movie came from.
Author's Note: You are warned. This is not a happy fanfic. This is my recuperation from reading the book.
To Starwanker, who encouraged me to read the book and just like her, I love and hate the book.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Because if I do, there would be more cartoon shorts of this movie.
"Something's wrong," Roger says to himself.
The set looks like any set. Background drops, spotlights, ridiculous amount of wires piling on the floor and hoards of low-budget props encroaching what space is still available.
A lightbulb flashes above his head.
"Cameras!" Roger says, snapping his fingers.
There are rolls of film, yet there are no humungous tripodded contraptions pointed to the supposed scene.
Instead, there are only picture cameras. Roger stares at the many gadgets scattered on the table –boxy, black and chrome-plated with extra parts glinting at the dim light.
Perplexed, he finds the exit and walks out.
What was he doing there again?
Before he can remember, something moves from the corner of his eye. An hourglass figure too voluptuous for a human; shifts in his vision.
"Jessica?" Roger asks in confusion.
The woman toon is tall, graceful with a curvaceous built. Red hair flows down her bare back as she looks over her shoulder. It did not take a second to know he's wrong by the amethyst colour of her eyes –as well as the look in her eyes.
She turns around to face him completely like a goddess gracing a mortal with her presence.
Same soft delicate features. Same peaches and cream complexion. But the haughty look of contempt directed at him killed the very idea that this toon is connected in any way to his wife.
"You must be the other Roger," she drawls, looking at him up and down. She barely has to nod her head at doing so for he's only four feet if you count the ears. Just like that creep, he looks like an idiot.
High heels click and her floor-length dress swishes as she circles him.
Roger turns around in a circle, following her movements. Blue eyes watch her, curious but careful.
"A bit shorter, I might add," she comments. She knows the rabbit can see glimpses of her legs every time the high slit of her dress gaps with each step she takes –possibly more, being vertically challenged. But he just looks at her with a wondering expression –not a wandering one that equates on men in general.
Roger steps back when she bends over to his eye level but a hand suddenly pinches his face, making him stay put as she casually inspects his polka dot bow tie. She hides a smirk, knowing full well she's giving a spectacular view of her cleavage.
If he'd just look down.
"Although," she says in a whisper that is both hot and husky, "You're cuter," squeezing his bunny cheek between her thumb and finger.
She has no use of him. However, she will not pass up the opportunity to humiliate this fool. If this bunny is the same as that floppy-eared freak, he'd be another tool in her belt.
His yellow gloved hand (strange, that dolt had paws) closes over her hand on his face.
She smirks. Time to-
But her eyes widen incredulously when the same hand pries her fingers off and firmly set it down on her side.
"I'm married," the rabbit says simply, stepping back.
The woman toon gives a soft snort of derision, feeling her ears become hot. Roger looks at her discomfort, getting an impression that she's not usually rejected.
"You're just as pathetic as him, you know," she says, folding her arms in front of her that pushes up her breasts.
"Who in their right mind would marry a rabbit?"
Roger's expression remains unchanged, letting her words slide off like frogspawn on plastic. He had heard worse from past hecklers.
Turning his back on her, he leaves her in the middle of her attempt for more degradation –both of his ego and her level. Whoever this woman is and whatever she's saying, it's clear that she doesn't like him.
"Hey! I'm talking to you!" she shrieks and Roger can hear her stomp her foot in indignation.
XOXOXOXOXO
"Eddie?" Roger inquires, pushing open his office door. It's quiet –too quiet.
The rabbit looks around the office. It's the same as the last time he visited –a bit unkempt with the dusty memorabilia on the office table. Blue eyes scan the office and he noticed the office chair is turned away from him, facing the window.
"Eddie?" he asks again to thin air. No answer. Shrugging, Roger begins to close the door when the office chair creaks.
The chair turns around and reveals another rabbit.
"Hello," he says with a cheery smile, "You must be Roger!"
A speech balloon pops up over his head bearing the words he has spoken. Roger's jaw drops on the unvacuumed floor.
"Wow, whoa and jeepers!" Roger says, picking up his jaw, "How'd you do that?"
The rabbit shrugs modestly, "It's a gift." He hops off and walks around the table. Circling around Roger, Roger copies him and circles around him too as they take a good look at each other.
The rabbit is taller than him, about five feet not counting the foot-long furry ears. Light brown fur covers most of his body wearing a pair of baggy shorts. He thoughtfully fiddles his suspenders taped to narrow, rounded shoulders.
"I'm Roger Rabbit," the rabbit says, holding out a white paw.
Roger looks at it in surprise before looking at his yellow-gloved hand. He then shakes his paw with enthusiasm that made the other rabbit's arm wiggle like a worm.
"Jeepers! That's my name, too!" he exclaims, "And you're also a rabbit!"
If Eddie was here, he would have already thanked him for being Captain Obvious. But the rabbit grins, now shaking his hand with equal vigour, "So are you!"
Roger grabs the speech balloon that has floated beside him and inspects it.
"Wow!" he says excitedly as he read the words in them, the lettering rounded and blocked as seen in the funny papers. "This feels flimsy and filmy and floppy and flippy and-" Roger blabbers, stretching the balloon curiously before crumpling and uncrumpling it again.
The taller rabbit gives a chuckle, "You wouldn't want to keep that, they crumble into dust after a while," another balloon floating over his head.
He slides the chair next to another seat. Roger takes this as an invitation and sits.
"So," the rabbit says, rotating the office chair a bit before stilling it, "You know Eddie?"
Roger nods vigorously, he's so glad Eddie is taking more toon cases again.
"He helped me in a case once."
The rabbit's eyes look at him curiously, "Really? What did you do?"
Roger looks at him questioningly. It was all over Toontown. Unless he's newly drawn, he must have heard about it which was a first in history of 'toons.
"I was framed for murder."
The rabbit's black eyes widen, "Murder? No."
Roger nods, "They did. But Eddie helped me prove my innocence."
The rabbit nods, "I bet he did, Eddie's a good guy."
Roger grins, "He acts all rough and gruff…"
The rabbit matches his cheery smile, their combined grins enough to light up two cities and a circus.
"But he's a softie deep inside –in shining armour," the rabbit laughs. A cloud balloon floats over his head with a drawing of the same description.
They guffaw a bit at the image.
"Why did the police think you did it?"
Roger holds up his yellow-gloved hands, "The murderer also has yellow hands," he says, then he halts before speaking again as though remembering something awful, "Plus I was the only known person to possibly have the motive."
"What motive?" the rabbit hesitates when he sees Roger pauses. He grabs the balloon with the said words and crumples it hastily.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. You don't need to answer."
Roger's ears wave off his concerns, "Nah, it's okay. You'll find out anyway." He takes a deep breath, "They think I killed the poor guy for playing patty cake with my wife."
"You're wife?"
"My wife Jessica," then he straightened up, "In the end, I was right. Someone made her do it."
The rabbit nods as though he expected it to be so.
"What about you? What did Eddie helped ya with?"
"A case in my career," he says opening a cigar box to reveal a line of carrots inside, "I'm a comic book toon star."
He offers Roger one and he gladly takes it. The other rabbit begins to explain, gesturing with a carrot in hand.
"It's like filming a movie but they use cameras. We memorize our lines, act it out and the photographers catches the actions and the speech balloons."
Roger munches thoughtfully, his chin resting on his palm. "Wow…" he says. Comic books are really levelling up. This Roger must have been drawn for that.
"Although I was hoping to become a movie star too," the rabbit says, "I can suppress my balloons if I wanted to." This time, no speech balloons appear when he says that.
Roger looks at him in wonder, "Whoa…"
"And I can do this," The rabbit waves both hands rapidly in front and away from his face, making a different funny face every time his hands pull away.
Roger laughs and faces him with a twinkle in his eye. They look at each other for awhile before they simultaneously wave their hands in front of their faces. When they pull away their hands, they have the same funny expression. They do this faster and faster and yet they pull the same faces every time before they finally break down laughing.
"Omigosh, it's like we're twins!" Roger hoots, slapping a hand over his eyes.
"You're good!" he continues, "If you wanna work in any studio, I'd vouch for ya!"
The brown and white rabbit shrugs his narrow shoulders.
"My boss won't let go of me even if he didn't live up his word. So I got Eddie to help me."
"But then it went kapoot," the taller rabbit continues, a chess board catching his eye.
Roger follows his gaze. Eddie has been trying to figure out that puzzle for days and wouldn't let him help.
"What do you mean?"
A white paw moves brushes over the pieces, tilting his head as he examined the board.
Roger keeps quiet as he patiently let the rabbit mull it over.
"Checkmate," the other rabbit says, moving a piece.
"Nice!" Roger says with a grin, impressed.
He's starting to like this guy more and more. The rabbit is smarter than he lets it on.
"Heh," the rabbit shrugs modestly.
"Was Eddie able to help you?" Roger asks swiping the white dust collecting on the floor from the collapsed speech balloons. Hopefully, their friend won't have a fit.
The rabbit dusts off his shoulder, "Yeah, but it got worse first."
"What do you mean?"
He looks ahead, "Someone killed my boss."
Roger sits up, "What? No!"
The taller rabbit shrugs, "They think I did it."
"What? A guy like you?" Roger asks, perplexed. He's nice and funny. Plus, rabbits are not known to resort to violence firsthand.
"My boss is a viper," he says, "He had it coming, anyway."
Roger cringes at the apathy in his voice, "C'mon, don't say that."
The rabbit gives him a sidelong glance, "He made my wife leave me for him, you know."
That made Roger stops. "Oh," he says, "Sorry about that."
"He got shot inside his own home," the rabbit says, thumping one large foot.
Silence ensues for a while before the rabbit turns to him again. "So how did the guy you were framed for killing get killed?"
"I heard someone dropped a piano on his head," Roger says, dropping his gaze. He hardly knows the guy but still…
The rabbit laughs, "You mean someone else did it for you?"
Roger's eyes widen. "No!" he shakes his head rapidly. What does he mean someone else? "I don't like what he did but no one deserves to get killed!"
The taller rabbit tilts his head with a smile. "Even for stealing your wife?"
Roger stills, looking at the rabbit. He stares at that nonchalant smile as though this Roger just asked him what he had for lunch.
"You weren't framed for murder," the white rabbit says slowly. They have almost the same cases but this taller buck seems to have no remorse for both victims. In fact, he seems glad.
Why would Eddie take his case? Unless he has been duped.
The rabbit still looks at him with that same casual ease. He chuckles and shakes his head.
"Oh, Roger, how did you survive Hollywood with that naivety?"
Dark eyes shift over Roger's shoulder. A click makes the white rabbit twist around to see another brown and white rabbit lock the door.
"What the-"
"He's my doppelganger," Roger says standing up, "Pretty spiffy for dangerous stunts," his dark eyes bore at him, still smiling, "Or in being seen in a different place at the right time."
The white rabbit yelps as two doppels grab him by the arms. Wide, scared eyes look at the other rabbit.
"Why are you doing this? What do you want?"
Roger strolls towards him, shrugging. "You'll find out soon," he says.
Seeing that he won't get answers, the shorter rabbit squished all his bones in his arms and slips through the grasp of his captors.
Everybody knows toons can defy human physics like slipping through spaces the size of a needle's eye. That's why toon-proof ropes were invented.
Apparently, this guy doesn't know that.
Heart hammering, he turns into a blur as he runs-
BANG!
Roger drops down on the ground, holding his leg. Twisting to his back, he sees the brown and white rabbit holding a smoking pistol that humans use.
"Don't worry, Roger," he says with the air of assuring someone who has a ridiculous phobia, "We're not going to kill you."
Roger shakes his leg and the hole in it disappears. He slowly stands up, shaking scared. From the corner of his eye, he sees one doppel guard the door and the other lock the window. The taller rabbit stares at his leg.
"Interesting."
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Roger drops down on the ground, ridden with smoking holes. Before, he was wrecked with fear but now he feels like a roach being stomped repeatedly by some sadistic child.
The brown and white rabbit smiles with amusement when Roger suddenly stands up whole and wholly annoyed.
"Stop that!"
BANG!
Another hole appears between his eyes and Roger topples backward to the ground.
He tosses away the empty gun. "That was actually fun."
Roger shakes off the hole and suddenly felt himself tug up to his feet by the two doppels with a tighter grip. He looks up at them, pleading.
"Look, I don't want to hurt anyone!"
"Good!" the taller rabbit says. Pulling back his fist, he lets it fly to his jaw.
It hurts as much as getting slapped by a cooked noodle.
Solid black rectangles appear on the speech balloon to hide the words.
"Goldangit," he says, shaking his fist.
Roger wasted no time.
The other rabbit yelps in surprise when Roger's arms slips through the doppels and punches him in the face.
The "Oof!" speech balloon lingers still in the air as he flies fast across the room.
Roger swiftly twists and swings at a nearby doppel.
The doppel bursts into dust from the impact of his fist.
Blue eyes widen, "What-"
But there was no time to think and he gives the other doppel a left hook.
He looks in shock at the crumbling dust in his feet but turns around sharply as more doppels appear.
The taller rabbit chuckles at his reaction as he clambers up again. "Where do you think they're coming from, Roger?"
They all close at him in a corner. A doppel charges at him. He ducks and gives him a swift jab in the ribs. Another doppel grabs hold of him by the arm and Roger is about to punch him when another hand grabs him from behind. His eyes widen disbelievingly when he realizes the first doppel that charged at him didn't turn to dust.
"Man! When did you guys get tougher?!" he yells, bonking one repeatedly on the head.
Above the head of the doppels, he can see Roger smirk.
The shorter rabbit frowns determinedly. There's only one thing to do.
He dives into the army of doppels. A great big cloud of dust fills the room in a flurry of flailing limbs, censored speech balloons and pained yells.
Eddie is going to kill him for the mess.
Moments later, Roger quietly creeps out from underneath the confusion. He's pretty sure he has crawled towards the direction of the door –and into his captor's feet.
Roger rolls his eyes upward. This is so not his day.
The brown and white rabbit sticks his fingers to his lips and whistles. The cloud of fighting toons stop and they all surrounded him.
"Playtime's over, Roger," he says.
The white rabbit looks around them, tensed. He never liked violence -even with toons. He finds it easier if he's the one getting hurt in slapstick comedy because he has the most immunity to physical abuse.
The doppels closes in.
A yellow gloved hand plunges inside his overalls and Roger swings out a giant mallet.
The first bash crumbles three into dust. The second swing takes in two. The room shakes with tremors. Roger doesn't bother to count as he continues to hit as many as he can.
Toon strength varies in every toon. Disney toons are more grounded to the human perspective of reality. Looney tunes exist to defy that. Roger has never been so thankful his abilities run more in "wacky".
He blinks as the last one explodes into dust. That means he has hit every doppel except-
"Ahh!"
Pain cracks his skull and Roger falls to his hands and knees, the mallet clattering on the floor. Someone kicks him and he tumbles on his back. Through the stars circling his head, he sees Roger quickly toss away a chair that he was holding and grabs something in his pocket.
HSSSS!
The white rabbit cries out as paint thinner is splashed across his torso. Before he can curl in pain, the other Roger sits on top of him and slams both paws in his chest.
"You came from me," the taller rabbit says, "I might as well take what is mine."
Roger gasps as their paints melt and blend –fusing them. The paws sink deeper into his torso. Memories flash before him, memories that are not his own. Suddenly he understands why.
The rabbit wants what he has that the other Roger doesn't have –a wife who truly loves him. Jessica.
With a yell, Roger curls up his feet and thumps him in the chest with all he got. The taller rabbit flies on to the concrete wall of the room with a crack.
Roger stumbles up, wiping the brown and pink muck off him, his hands turning into a sticky dripping mess in the process. He quickly grabs the mallet and raises it up before this stranger can do anything else.
The brown and white rabbit gives out a laugh. His head hurts too much for him to make a doppel. This Roger is stronger and faster than him even if he's the smarter one. If he had known more of what this Roger is capable of, he could have planned it better. He smiles through the haze of pain.
"Go ahead. What are you waiting for?"
Roger grips his mallet high over his head. From the memories transferred to him, he knows this toon bleeds. He would not survive a blow on the head.
The rabbit smirks from the floor and Roger can hear him think, Even for stealing your wife?
He glares at him.
"I'm not like you," Roger says before bringing the mallet down to his head.
Roger sighs with relief when he hears the snore coming out of the unconscious rabbit. He lets the mallet clatter to the floor.
Finally.
Finally…
"Roger, wake up!"
Roger gasps and bolts upright, heaving. He looks to his side to see the worried face of his wife.
"Honey bunny, are you alright?"
He slows down his breathing. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. He looks down on his torso, untarnished and whole.
Roger nods, "Yeah, I'm alright," he gives her a reassuring smile, "You should go back to sleep, love." He knows how late Ink-and-Paint Club closes.
Jessica looks worriedly at him.
"I'll be fine," he says, cupping her cheek.
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Jessica wakes up to something clanging outside but her eyes stay close. Her arm sleepily moves to his side of the bed. Emerald eyes open when her hand touches cold empty sheets.
She looks at the clock. It's five in the morning.
Jessica walks down the stairs in her robe to see Roger in the kitchen in his pajamas. Her husband is looking down thoughtfully as he plays distractedly with his empty mug.
"Roger?"
The rabbit looks up and a smile lights up on his face.
"Lovecups."
"Is everything alright?" she asks, entering the kitchen. On the stove, she can see a pot simmering. Opening it, she just sees water.
"Where's the kettle?"
Roger looks slightly sheepish.
"I threw it outside," he hops down his seat, "I'm making tea, you want some?"
Jessica looks at him. Roger has done quirkier things.
"This doesn't have anything to do with your nightmare, is it?"
Roger fiddles with the handle of his mug, "Kind of."
Jessica sits beside him and rubs his back. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Rabbit ears twist together before unravelling again. She patiently waits for him to answer. Roger rarely has nightmares. When he does, it would usually be something silly and he'd sleep it right off.
"There was this buck who also says he's Roger," he says as he turns the mug over and over again. Then he told her from the very start.
"-After that, I woke up," he says, finishing his story.
"He attacked me but in the middle of it all, I-" he squints, recalling the lifetime of memories unceremoniously plugged into his brain, "I understood why he wanted to do that."
He rolls the mug on the table, "I actually feel sorry for the guy."
Jessica grabs the mug and turns off the stove. She pours the steaming water into two mugs.
"It's just a dream, honey," she says, sliding one mug to him with a teabag.
Jessica wraps her arms around him from behind, nuzzling her chin on his tuft of red hair, "Maybe that's just how your mind is coping with what happened."
That might be true. They were lucky to overcome a powerplay among influential but greedy people with their lives and their marriage still intact.
"Maybe."
She kisses him in the cheek and straightens up, "Sun's up. We might as well get ready," she walks towards the stairs with her mug in hand.
"Jessica?"
Jessica turns around, "Hmm?"
"You didn't fall in love with me because you're under a genie's spell, did you?" he meant it as a joke but her eyes regarded him seriously. She leans on the doorway.
"Roger, how long have we known each other?"
The rabbit ticks his fingers and ears but Jessica answers.
"Long enough to know the man under the pelt, don't you think?" she says with an eyebrow raised. A smile forms in her lips when she sees the red creep up his cheeks. She meant what she said and Roger, he meant what he feels. He's just true and she loves that.
"You're one heck of a smooth talker, Jessica," he says, trying to hide his blush behind his steaming mug of tea.
"Now that we cleared that, how about getting our kettle back?"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Have we got all of them?"
Merryweather looks at her list, "Yes, Blue. It's easy to spot them in a Toon Dreamland."
"Good," the Blue Fairy smiles, "Now, Hazel. What did you learn?"
Witch Hazel rolls her eyes, "Never do potions in the Library of the Worlds. The potion might smoke out wrong and enchant the books."
Flora crosses her arms with a frown, "It could have been a disaster. Books carry universes of their own."
Fauna chuckles, "We almost miss out some characters. Unlike other books, this one here has toons as part of the story," she says whipping out a pocket book.
Flora squints at the book, reading the title, "Wait, isn't that…
"Roger Rabbit of Maroon Studios? Probably not. When I found the fictional character, he looks different," says Fauna, remembering how she has to use a Float spell to retrieve the unconscious rabbit.
The Blue Fairy gives a soft laugh.
"Universes are just different realities. For all we know," she gives them a mysterious smile, "We could all be fictional characters."
"Even you."
Author's Note: if you do not understand about the kettle, then you haven't read the book. If you're curious, just ask and I'll spoil it for you.
Blue fairy is from Pinocchio, Disney.
Witch Hazel is from Looney Tunes.
Flora, Fauna and Merryweather are the good faeries from Sleeping Beauty, Disney.
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