When I was at the Bureau, my life was slowly being torn apart. Caleb seemed more distant than ever, and I couldn't stand to be in a room with him.
When I was with Tobias, he always seemed angry. I guess because he was damaged, even though he knew I would never believe that. He knew I wouldn't break up with him because of that. So, in the end he left me alone. And so did I.
And
Then
I
Died.
I don't know where I am. I don't know what's going on. A second has passed. A million years have passed. I don't know. But I am strong in my sacrifice and I won't give up.
I am in my mother's arms.
I know Tobias will be sad, crushed even. But I can't go back, and he knows that as well as I do.
I know I made a sacrifice.
But I am angry.
I survived the death serum.
But not a bullet wound.
How fragile are we, really?
Dauntless was about being strong.
I was strong. And selfish.
Tobias insisted I wasn't, but I knew better than to listen to him.
If I am alive, in any humanly possible way, he hasn't returned. He hasn't come back.
I still remember the sounds of him crying at my bedside, when I was dead.
But I do not know how I heard.
How I knew.
How I was...
AWAKE.
