I don't own The Goonies or any of the characters herewith.
I hate my job.
In fact, I hate my life.
Sure, I helped to save the Goon Docks from being destroyed and I discovered pirate treasure but what have I got to show for it? I didn't get to buy one thing with those jewels. They all went to saving our houses. I mean, at least Andy got a boyfriend out of our adventure, even if it is Brand. I didn't even get that. The most action I got all night was when I got felt up by that giant octopus. Typical.
Not that I feel like I need a man to complete me or anything. You know, girl power and all that, but that doesn't mean that I don't get a little sick of sitting in the backseat while Andy is driven around by her latest boyfriend.
At least I don't have to do that with Brand, he doesn't have his license.
I don't know, I just wonder sometimes you know? Like, am I ever going to get a boyfriend or am I going to end up… well, you know what I mean anyway.
So, I am going to finish pulling these lobsters out of the water, go home, have an hour long shower to get rid of the fish smell that seems to follow me around, dress up, and go out. Where to? I hear you ask. Where could Steph possibly be going in the Goon Docks on a Friday night? Well, don't get your hopes up, I won't be going anywhere special. The most exciting place to go in the Goon Docks is the milk bar, and I doubt I'll find my future husband there, but, you never know.
I catch the bus home. I can't do my driving test until next month. My mum says I can drive her Station Wagon. If only we'd kept a hold of those riches I could have bought myself a decent car.
The bus windows are grimy, or maybe it's just the town that's grimy.
At home my father asks me how my day was. I lie and say it was good. My relationship with my parents works best when I tell them as little about my life as possible. Our house is built on a foundation of lies. My mother tells me my hair looks nice today. I smile and say thank you though I'm sure she hates my haircut. After my shower in water as hot as I can stand it I stare at my face in the bathroom mirror for five minutes wondering how I could possibly be single. Then I take out my makeup and go to work. In my room I throw my clothes around until I find a dress that shows enough of my legs to maybe have a boy notice me. I grab my bag and shut the front door a little too forcibly on my way out. My parents are having frozen dinners tonight.
It is five thirty in the afternoon.
At the milk bar I see Andy and Brand sharing a booth and a milkshake. I pretend not to see them and take a stool at the bar. I order a huge bowl of strawberry ice-cream with sprinkles. I don't even care. My thighs will just have to deal with it because today I am really not in the mood for broccoli.
The door opens. The bell rings. And suddenly I am surrounded by four goonies. And when I say surrounded I mean literally surrounded.
Fantastic.
"Hey Stef!" that was Data.
"What are you all dressed up for? Got a hot date?" that was obviously Mouth.
"Can I have some of your ice-cream please Stef?" I don't suppose I need to tell you who that was.
"Get your own Chunk!" I say guarding my bowl like it's a, well, like it's a bowl of strawberry ice-cream with sprinkles. You have to pay extra for the sprinkles you know?
"I don't get my allowance until tomorrow!" he whines in my ear.
"Here," I say, giving him a handful of change from the bottom of my purse, "buy everyone some."
"Gee thanks Stef!" you would think I just gave them all a brand new Ferrari the way they are carrying on. They are all yelling flavours and toppings at the same time. I'm sure heard someone say caviar. It was probably Mouth.
"Yeah whatever," I say. This milk bar was a terrible idea, what was I thinking? I should have caught a bus somewhere. Anywhere.
Mikey looks depressed. I wonder whether I should care enough to ask him what's wrong. He is staring at the booth around the corner. Brand and Andy's booth. I guess that's why he's depressed. Poor Mikey. What am I saying poor Mikey? At least he got to make out with Andy! I don't see anyone trying to make out with me while we were searching for buried treasure!
"What's the matter Mikey?" sweet little Data says. Seems like he cares enough to ask. That's nice.
Mikey has his head resting on his arms and he sighs a heavy sigh before replying. His ice-cream is plain vanilla. I think that is a very telling sign. He didn't even get chocolate sauce.
"I don't know what she sees in him,' Mickey says, "it's not as if I'm that much younger than he is."
"Oh yeah, only two years or so," says Chunk.
Honestly can't these kids sit still? They are climbing all over the place. Data is now sharing a stool with Mickey, Chunk is clambering over the counter to try and drink caramel sauce straight from the dispenser.
Mouth puts his arm around my shoulders. I really hate it when he does that.
"Yeah sure, that's nothing, why if two years was a big deal then Stef and I couldn't date," he says. He has the most annoying cockiness that boy.
I elbow him in the stomach. Not as hard as I could have, but not as gentle either.
There is an empty space left behind where his arm was.
Honestly these guys drive me crazy. But, I love them anyway. There are some things in life that you can't go through with someone without becoming their friend. Getting chased through pirate caves by murderers is one of them.
"In your dreams Mouth!" says Chunk who, I notice, has eaten some of my ice-cream, honestly, you have to watch them every second, it's like baby-sitting a litter of puppies.
"So listen Stef, what are you doing tonight?" says Mouth cosying in next to me again.
I can't reply, what am I supposed to say? That I am single and alone and wearing my best dress out for a night at the milk bar with a bunch of kids.
"Because we're all going to Mikey's to watch Star Wars, want to come?" says Chunk who has polished off the rest of my ice-cream. God damn it. I really need to pay more attention. At least my thighs will thank him.
They are smiling at me with those cheesy grins they all have.
"Yeah sure, whatever."
Why oh why oh why did I say that?
So now I am trotting down the street after a bunch of kids on their bicycles. I say trotting because I wore heels and it has been raining and I'm trying to keep up with them without it looking like I'm trying to keep up with them, which is not easy in a pencil skirt.
This isn't exactly what I had in plan for the evening I can tell you that right now.
Mikey is peddling pretty slowly so I can almost keep up with him.
"You ok sunshine?" I say, trying to kick a pebble out of my shoe while trotting. Not easy.
"Yeah fine," he says, but he looks a lot less than fine, in fact, he looks fairly disheartened.
"Don't worry stud, you'll find the right girl someday, one who likes you for you and not your brother."
That didn't quite come out right. Oh thank god, that's Mikey's gate. How do I know that? I really need to get out more.
