Yeah, yeah. I know.

How many people thought I literally died? XD God, I'm such a lazy fuck. I'm so sorry. Oh, and of course I'm posting something new and completely neglecting the 12938290849302 other stories I've started. Yeah. I've got my priorities straight as fuck, yo.

Well, this is kinda cliche and I should probably be punched in the face for writing it because I'm completely unoriginal and I'm sorry. *sobs* I just...got the idea...and...it happened. BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IF ANYONE EVEN LIKES THIS, I'VE ALREADY PRETTY MUCH WRITTEN THE WHOLE THING ASIDE FROM SOME SMUTTY SMUT SMUT. So yeah. Maybe this will be finished within a month? XD

Also! My eighteenth birthday is in slightly less than two weeks! SO I CAN ALMOST LEGALLY READ THE SHIT I WRITE. AIN'T THAT JUST FANTASTIC?

I need to chill with the caps lock.

WARNINGS: GAY THINGS. INCEST THINGS. UNDERAGE SEXUAL THINGS. GOOD THINGS. BEST THINGS.

If you don't like this kind of stuff that doesn't give you a free pass to be a literal asshole.

Enjoy! And please favorite/follow/review because that gets me to update faster sometimes! :D Emphasis on the sometimes!

POV is Itachi's. c:

P.S. This was supposed to be a collab between me and PoisonedWright from AO3 (I really hope I spelled your name right! ;-;), but we kinda just stopped writing together and I continued alone and it morphed into this 17,000 thousand word spectacle and yeah. It was originally going to be a one-shot but I was like, "Hah no." Thank you to her for all the help she gave me! :)

Onward to incest!


I sat cross-legged on my bed, crinkled papers full of nearly-incomprehensible data sprawled across the covers when, unfortunately enough, a knock on my door broke my fierce concentration. I nearly snapped my pencil in half and readied myself to send my unwelcomed visitor away with a glare, but then I heard my little brother's voice call my name, followed by another short, almost tentative knock. My expression softening and grip on the pencil loosening, I glanced up and saw him standing at the door, shuffling his feet and staring at the ground. He was frowning something fierce, and a deep crease had formed on his forehead between his scrunched-up brows.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, homework momentarily forgotten.

"Homework," he grumbled. "I need your laptop…if it's not too much trouble." He finally glanced up and met my eyes, looking more miserable than I'd ever seen him.

"You too?" I cracked half a smile and motioned towards my desk. "Go ahead. I don't need it right now."

Relief washed over his face and he muttered a quick "thank you" before scuttering to my desk and gathering my laptop up in his arms. Really, with all the homework he seemed to get nowadays, you'd think our parents would allow him a computer of his own. I made a mental note to ask them about getting him one the next time they stopped by to check in on us, though I didn't mind letting him borrow mine for the time being. It didn't cause me any trouble and I'd do anything to wipe that frown off his face.

"I have to meet a friend soon, Sasuke," I said, meeting his eyes again. "Will you be okay staying alone for a couple of hours?"

"Of course," he hissed, scowling. "I'm thirteen, Itachi."

I hid my smile behind my hand and nodded. "Just checking."

He rolled his eyes and shuffled out of my room, leaving me alone with a pile of work I really had no interest in completing. I threw my clock a sideways glance and soon determined that if I left now, I'd have plenty of time to finish this work later. I needed a short break anyway; I'd been working nonstop from the second I got home, and even if I was taking a break from these assignments only to combat another with Kisame, it was still appealing. I dropped the pencil onto my bed and stood, gathering my hair into a loose ponytail, sliding its holder off my wrist and securing it as I ventured into the hallway.

"Sasuke?" I called.

"Yeah?"

I stopped by his room, gently pushing the door open. "I'm leaving now. I should be back before dinner."

He nodded without taking his eyes off the computer screen, seemingly immersed in whatever he was working on, his fingers flying over the keyboard with ease. I shook my head, a small, sad smile on my lips. He was working much too hard for an eighth grader.

I locked the door behind me and was in my car and down the road in no time. Sadly, I didn't realize I'd left my phone at home until I was halfway to my friend Kisame's house, and, with a deep sigh, I turned around and headed back home. I made a habit of having my phone with me at all times—how else was Sasuke going to reach me if something happened?

I'm too caught up with these assignments, I thought to myself as I jammed the key in the lock and turned it. The front door creaked open and I rushed inside, taking the stairs two at a time. I figured there was no reason to bother Sasuke or alert him of my arrival—he wasn't expecting me home for two hours at least, and I was certain by now he was elbow-deep in homework. But as I stepped closer to my room, and consequently his as well, a small whimper made me freeze. My first thought was for his safety, and my heart began to race—but that whimper was followed by another noise that was much closer to a…moan. My curiosity piqued, I stepped closer to his cracked door, careful to step as lightly as I could to avoid alerting him of my presence. The floorboards creaked beneath my feet and I grimaced, hoping he hadn't heard, but the now-steady stream of noises coming from his bedroom assured me he hadn't. I inched closer to his door and, despite the nagging feeling that I was definitely intruding, peeked inside.

And what I saw took my breath away.

Sasuke was…touching himself.

I took a step away from the door, my heart hammering wildly, but found myself inching closer again regardless of the reprimanding voice of my conscience. With wide eyes I took in the whole scene—or what I could see from my position. Sasuke sprawled across his bed, his skin flushed the rosiest red, his lower lip caught between his teeth (likely to try and silence himself even though he thought no one was home)...and I especially took note of the way his back arched when he stroked himself just right,his fingers twisting over his cock with obvious finesse. I drew in a sharp breath when one of his hands disappeared beneath his shirt, and couldn't suppress the shiver running down my spine as his back arched again and a needy whine spilled from his lips. My eyes flitted to the computer, which was faced away from me and had Sasuke's complete attention, and I realized that my "innocent" little brother wasn't so innocent after all.

When he came a few minutes later—or it could have been hours, I was so engrossed—splattering his shirt with cum and moaning so loudly I was certain our neighbors could have heard him, I finally found the willpower to drag myself away from his doorway and into my own room. My breathing was ragged, my face was drenched with sweat, but the worst of it all was the absolute throbbing in my groin.

Even in the quiet stillness of my room I kept replaying the scene in my head, all of Sasuke's noises and the faces he made as they escaped his lips. I sighed quietly and forced the thoughts from my mind as I lifted my phone from my bedside table and slipped it into my pocket, using all the willpower I never knew I had to force my inconvenient erection away. After peeking out the door to make sure Sasuke hadn't heard me come home, among other things, and was still in his room, I quietly walked downstairs and outside, starting for Kisame's house once again.

My thoughts were a tangled mess and I drove robotically, hardly aware of what I was doing. Why had I watched him? Why hadn't I walked away? I couldn't figure it out—but the worst part, above all, was that some sick part of me had enjoyed it, had gotten aroused over it. I shook my head as I pulled into Kisame's driveway. Hopefully getting out of the house and away from Sasuke for a bit would clear my head.


When I came home later that evening, the first thing I noticed was that it was eerily quiet save for the sound of the television filtering in from the living room. Slipping off my shoes and starting down the hall, I raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked around as I turned the corner, wondering where my brother was. I couldn't help but smile when I saw that Sasuke had fallen asleep on the couch, curled up in a ball, his mouth wide open and little snores falling out. I shook my head and stifled a chuckle as I turned off the television, not wanting to wake him from his obviously impromptu nap and knowing he always came home from school dead tired. Once again my eyes fell onto his slumbering form, and I vaguely noticed he'd changed his shirt, the one he'd gotten cum all over—which, in turn, triggered a flood of thoughts I'd rather not have.

I covered him with a blanket and stumbled into the kitchen, trying desperately to think of anything other than what I'd seen earlier. Or rather, what I'd let myself see. I clenched my teeth as a wave of heat washed over my body, and steadied myself by leaning on the counter. What was happening to me? I stood hunched over, breathing heavily for minutes on end, perverse thoughts crashing around inside my skull, warring with whatever was left of my conscience.

I was pulled away from the battle as two slender arms wrapped around my waist from behind. Surprised, I turned my head slightly to see Sasuke blinking sleep from his eyes, and I let out a long breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Sasuke," I said, a smile tugging at my lips. "You fell asleep with the television on."

Sasuke yawned against my back, and I barely stopped myself from shivering. Did he have to be so close? He was so warm… "Sorry. I just got...lonely, I guess." Guilt settled in my stomach like a ball of led. God, he was still such a kid... "Oh, I put your computer back in your room, by the way."

I stiffened as memories from earlier swam through my mind yet again. It seemed almost impossible to escape them for any reasonable length of time now that I was home. "Did you finish your work?" I asked. Finally Sasuke pulled away, but I dared not turn my body around because, for the second time that day, I found myself painfully and inconveniently aroused by my own little brother. As if the thoughts alone hadn't been enough torture.

"Yeah," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I could have used some help, though." My breath caught in my throat as I pictured Sasuke on his back again, pleasuring himself, asking for his big brother's help through a moan… I tried to play it off with a small chuckle, but it sounded forced even to my own ears.

"Sorry, Sasuke," I said, mustering up the willpower to turn around and gently poke his forehead. "Maybe next time."

"You always say that," Sasuke said as he furrowed his eyebrows and massaged his forehead. Sighing, he dropped his hand. "So what's for dinner anyway? I'm hungry."

"Hm," I said, pretending to think on it. "Why don't you choose? I'll make whatever you like as a treat for finishing all of your homework early."

The way Sasuke's face lit up reminded me of just how adorable he could be. It also reminded me of how 'adorable' he'd been with a flushed and sweaty face, and how downright tempting he'd been when he'd let his head fall back against his pillow, his dark hair splayed across it and his fingers loosely wrapped around his cock. My dick twitched in my jeans and I took a sharp breath, trying to conjure up whatever unpleasant images I possibly could to chase my arousal away. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Pizza," Sasuke said, successfully drawing my mind away from its internal battle yet again.

"Pizza?" I asked dumbly, raising an eyebrow at him. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You said anything I want, and I want pizza. Please?" Sasuke put on his most charming grin. "With tomatoes on top!"

I sighed and shook my head, a smile on my lips. I wondered if he still acted this childish with his friends, or if this sort of behavior was only reserved for me. I felt a twinge of jealously at the thought of anyone else seeing this cute side of him. "If that's what you want."

Without warning Sasuke flung his arms around my waist again, pressing himself against my stomach. When he nearly brushed against my groin I gently pulled him away before he could notice anything out of the ordinary, then ruffled his already-messy hair.

"I can't make dinner with you clinging to me like that, Sasuke," I teased. I was almost surprised by how normal I managed to make myself sound despite the situation and my own discomfort, but I've always been one for composure. I turned my back to Sasuke with a small sigh, expecting him to return to the living room to watch television(and definitely hoping he would).

"Um...Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"Can I help?"

I gritted my teeth. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't say no to such an innocent request—not without hurting his feelings or giving a good excuse. Sasuke always liked to help—something I'd been glad for until this point.

"Of course, Sasuke," I said, forcing a smile as he came to stand beside me, so close that I could feel his body heat through my shirt. Again. "Could you get two tomatoes, please?" I asked, using anyexcuse to put some space between us. He nodded and scampered off to grab some from the fridge, and I took a deep, deep breath. I needed to get these thoughts under control—they were ridiculous, not to mention disgusting.

"Is something wrong, Itachi?" Sasuke asked as he returned with two tomatoes in hand, concern written all over his face. "You look kind of upset…"

"I'm fine," I said quickly, turning away from him. I really needed to get better control over my myself—this was too unlike me. I grabbed a wooden cutting board from the cabinet and a knife from the knife-rack."Would you mind getting a jar of tomato sauce out of the pantry?"

I didn't need to see his face to know that he was pouting, but instead of the fit of protest I was expecting Sasuke merely sighed and walked over to the pantry, surprisingly compliant. He quickly grabbed what I asked for and set it on the counter next to me, looking for all the world like a brooding little kid. He was pouting,for God's sake. But the last thing I needed to be focusing on were his lips.

I turned my attention to cutting the two tomatoes, trying my best to focus even though I could feel Sasuke's eyes on me the entire time. Eventually, after one tomato lay in tiny cubes, I couldn't stand the feeling anymore. I sighed heavily and faced him. "Yes, Sasuke?" I asked, trying to make my voice as pleasant as possible.

"You're acting weird, Itachi," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I want to know why."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He was a perceptive little shit, I'd give him that. "What do you mean 'weird,' Sasuke?"

Sasuke groaned and struck a new pose: his hands on his hips. "You know what I mean, Itachi-nii." Ah, now he was using pet-names.

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific. I really don't know what you're talking about." I was more than thankful that my voice didn't waver with him staring at me like I was the biggest liar in the world (and maybe the worst). But I couldn't tell him that I had seen him earlier—and I definitelycouldn't tell him that I had enjoyed the show. The more I stalled, however, the more I could see his annoyance grow.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Nii-san."

I continued to feign innocence; there was nothing else for me to do. "I've been working a lot lately. Sorry if it seems like I'm acting strangely; I'm just tired."

I saw the stubbornness melt off his face, quickly replaced with another look of concern. I was off the hook—or so I thought.

"Well, can you take a break tonight?" he asked, his hands falling to his sides. I saw hope glimmer in his eyes, reminding me yet again of how young he truly was. He always jumped at the chance to spend time with me. "We could watch a movie in the living room or on your laptop or something."

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath through my nose. Not that kind of movie, Itachi.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said as I opened my eyes, thinking of the mountain of homework still spread across my bed. His face fell into a scowl, but then he nodded.

"So...what else do I need to do?"

You could go upstairs. "Could you get one of the crusts out of the fridge and spread sauce on it?" He nodded and got to work, and I turned back to cutting the second tomato.

A few minutes passed in silence as we did our chores, and all filthy thoughts began to filter out of my mind—slowly, but it was better than fending off an erection every time Sasuke opened his mouth, touched me, or even looked at me. I could only hope these strange feelings would be gone by tomorrow. I just wanted things to be back to normal between us; but I guess to him, things were normal.

"Shit!"

"Language, Otouto," I muttered, turning to face him—and how I wished I hadn't. I gripped the knife so tightly my hand began to hurt as he slipped his shirt over his head, leaving his entire upper body on display for my hungry eyes, which took full advantage of the situation. I pushed a shaky breath past my lips and forced my mind to clean itself up before I...I couldn't even think about losing control—there was no way in hell I would.

"What happened?" My voice sounded unusually scratchy—rough, even—but Sasuke didn't seem to notice.

"I got tomato sauce all over my shirt," he grumbled, scrunching his white t-shirt into a ball and facing me. His eyes were still trained on the shirt. "It's ruined."

"Throw it in the wash," I said, my eyes roving up and down his chest. "I'm sure it's still salvageable."

He nodded and turned his back to me, heading for the laundry room. My eyes were glued to his pale, lean back down to the waistband of his black boxers peeking over his jeans until he turned the corner, and I found myself clenching my empty fist until that hand began to hurt almost as much as the other. Never before had I felt such...such desire for someone. None of the girls I'd been with ever made me want to literally rip their clothes off,made me feel like I was about to lose all control and pin them to the counter and ravage them and

But what was I thinking? This was my little brother.I'd never even looked at him this way before today—I'd never even looked at another man this way before today. And Sasuke wasn't even a man yet.

I set down the knife and brought my hands to cover my face. It had to have been all the work I'd been doing lately; it was making me crazy. Maybe I did need to take a break tonight, to clear my head of all equations, statistics, and random bits of data. But I knew I couldn't, not while these repulsive, incestuous thoughts were swimming around in my head.

I heard Sasuke enter the kitchen and quickly dropped my hands away from my face; the last thing I wanted to do was make him worry about me more than he already was. I silently sighed in relief when I noticed he'd thrown another shirt on, but part of me...missed the view.

Get ahold of yourself, Itachi.

He returned to his post at the counter a few paces away from me, and I turned back to the cutting board and its contents.

I had a feeling this was going to be a long, long night.


Aside from the shirt-staining incident and my mind twisting everything Sasuke said into something terribly depraved, dinner went by rather smoothly. We ate and chatted about our days, cleaned up, then retired to our rooms free of incident. But now, as I lied in bed, homework completed, I was faced with yet another dilemma.

It was as if my laptop was staring at me, testing my resolve as it sat 'innocently' on my desk.

But nothing about that computer was innocent to me anymore, nothing at all, and I found myself yearning to explore the browser's history, comb it for evidence that today had even happened. Really, I must have been going insane. I was sure that was a probable explanation—temporary insanity. Either I'd imagined everything, or it had happened and I, courtesy of my brain malfunctioning due to being stressed and overworked, had chosen to over-analyze what had happened. Sasuke was a teenage boy—of course he masturbated. But that still didn't explain why, after walking in on him, I'd stayed and somehow managed to enjoy watching him masturbate. This furthered my suspicion of me going insane. (If it had even happened, that is.)

I let my feet hit the floor and sighed. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I'd cracked open my laptop; so I did, however reluctantly.

Of course Sasuke wasn't careless enough to leave behind any evidence; I was foolish for thinking he would. My baby brother may have been young, but he wasn't stupid. He knew to clear the history. However, he had no way of knowing that our modem tracks each and every page we click on independently of any browser—our parents didn't even know. I only knew because I was the one who had set everything up.

A couple of keystrokes later and a list of recently visited adult video websites filled the screen. I smirked at the over-exaggerated and terrible names—Hung Big Brother and Busty Sister Get Handsy, Big Bro Dom and Slut Sister Caught Mid-BJ by MILF—before the common theme, so obvious it hurt, almost stopped my heart cold.

Incest.

I cleared my throat and swiped my bangs away from my face, suddenly much too warm for comfort. So my little brother had an incest fetish, it would seem.

I shook my head before I could start jumping to conclusions. Yes, Sasuke obviously got off to incest-themed porn, but there is a marked difference between fantasy and reality, not to mention the videos were straight porn and I definitely wasn't a busty little sister begging her big brother to plug her—

I grimaced. I could only hope his taste in erotic videos would eventually improve past this trash.

I shut my laptop and sighed. I needed to go to sleep. I was certain that once my overworked brain got the rest it deserved, all of these thoughts would fade away and I'd be left feeling how I normally did when it came to romance and desires of the flesh: uninterested and preoccupied with pursuits that mattered.

I laid back down and shut my eyes, allowing pointless thoughts to ricochet around inside my head and patiently waiting to slip into sleep. It worked for a while, allowing my thoughts to roam freely, but then they strayed to earlier that day and my cock began to swell.

I clenched my teeth and sucked in a huge breath, trying to clear my head. It didn't work, so I tried again. And again. And again.

Nothing was working. It was as though the harder I tried not to think about the incident, the harder my brain worked to amplify the racy pictures in my head. Sasuke on his back, Sasuke with his pretty little fingers around his cock, Sasuke with rosy cheeks, Sasuke slipping his shirt over his head, Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…

My fingers were drifting and I hadn't the will to stop them. I'd denied myself relief too many times today—but still, Sasuke was my baby brother. I couldn't get myself off to thoughts of him, I told myself, it wouldn't be right. But my fingers still drifted, as did my thoughts, and I could no longer control the direction either decided to take.

I pulled my cock out of my sweatpants, shuddering as it twitched in my hand. I was incredibly sensitive after denying myself all day. As I began to stroke myself I noticed that the friction was dry and slightly painful, but I felt that I deserved any and all discomfort—here I was, lying on my back, my hand around my dick and thoughts of my little brother masturbating himself my only source of mental stimulation. My stomach turned, but, I soon realized with no degree of uncertainty, not just from disgust. God, I thought to myself as my hand began to pick up some speed, I've never been this hard before.

It was as though the complete realization that my brother had gotten me harder than a steel pole tripled my pleasure. I bit my lip, holding back the noises that were trying so, so hard to claw their way up my throat and out my mouth. It would be awful if Sasuke heard me.

There was no longer any painful dry fiction—oh, no. I was so disgustingly aroused that pre-cum dripped in excess out my cock and over my fingers, coating them and my dick, and it felt so good, so fucking good to finally touch myself I couldn't find it in me to feel guilty anymore. So I let myself enjoy it, stroking myself, twisting my fingers over my slippery cock. I enjoyed every single second of it, bucking into my hand and making desperate gasping noises I'd never heard myself make.

After I finally came, the moment of Sasuke's earlier completion playing behind my eyelids as I did, I began to reflect on what I'd done. Guilt settled around me, thick as fog, but as little aftershocks pulsed through my body I couldn't bring myself to feel as guilty as I wanted to feel. The guilt was there, obviously, but even compared to this afternoon it was beginning to dwindle. This was by far the most frightening discovery I'd made so far.

I didn't even have a chance to clean myself up before I fell asleep, exhausted both mentally and physically. Waking up to sticky fingers, clothes, and sheets wasn't exactly the highlight of my morning, but it served as an all-too-real reminder of what I had let myself do the night before. I tried to reason with myself as I stood in the shower, under the warm, comforting spray of water, but I couldn't, and I found myself once again unable to conjure up the appropriate amount of guilt. It was as though I was coming to terms with this, this...attraction, perversion, whatever one would wish to call it. And it was terrifying me.

I got ready for school quickly and without much hassle, but I was rushing myself. Sasuke's school started an hour later than my morning class, and, seeing as we usually shared one bathroom even though there were others in the house, I wanted to do everything in my power to avoid running into him. It would seem luck wasn't on my side.

"You're up early," I said as I saw him patter into the bathroom, practically dead on his feet and his hair sticking up in every possible direction. His droopy eyes drifted to me and he nodded, then nonchalantly began to lift his shirt over his head, likely getting ready to hop in the shower. I almost choked on toothpaste and scrambled to rinse my mouth out, my fingers shaking and heartbeat wild. The last thing I needed before a long day at school was a fucking striptease.

I left the bathroom in a hurry and didn't give Sasuke a chance to ask the question plastered across his face before closing the door. (I nearly slammed it, that's how shaky I was.) There would be plenty of time for dealing with him later and I didn't have a good enough excuse for my behavior as of yet—but what I did have was a cock so hard I probably didn't have enough blood running to my head, because if my brain had been functioning properly my hand wouldn't have begun to press against my crotch as I stood outside the bathroom door, listening to the shower running and imagining my little brother soaped-up and naked.

But I soon stopped myself even though my cock was twitching and begging for attention and protesting like mad, and trudged to my room to grab my bag for school. Thank God Sasuke rode the bus; I knew I couldn't have survived being in the car with him, not in this state.

After willing away my problem the day went by as though I was either drugged up or terribly sleep-deprived. I felt as though I was watching myself talk and walk from outside my body, my actions mechanical, rehearsed, perfected. Nobody could tell how deep in the gutter my mind truly was. And it was practically drowning.

When I got home that afternoon I was worked up into a ridiculous state of frenzied, anxious arousal. I'd managed to make myself feel a bit more guilty about my incestuous thoughts throughout the course of the day, but that didn't stop my fingers from twitching and my cock from swelling and my mind from flipping through images so graphic I should have been appalled.

I refused to give myself relief. I had no other reason to withhold pleasure from myself aside from my malfunctioning moral compass; Sasuke wasn't home, and our parents were home once a month at most. I had the house to myself.

Instead of getting myself off (which I wanted more than anything), I went to my room and busied myself with homework. It was harder than usual to focus with my cock threatening to rise at any moment and the smallest thing seeming to set my mind off on a tangent, but somehow I managed to—eventually I was so preoccupied with numbers and symbols I didn't even hear Sasuke come home. It was only when he stood over my desk, his shadow falling onto the papers spread out in front of me that I finally noticed him.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I snapped. I didn't mean to sound so rude, but I'd finally managed to distract myself only for the little shit himself to yank my thoughts back down again. I didn't need to look at him to know he had that look on his face, the one he always got when I said something mean or inconsiderate. I felt bad, but held my tongue. With any luck he'd leave.

"You're acting weird again," he said. I took a deep breath and gnawed at the inside of my lip. I ignored him, refusing to answer, just hoping he'd get the damn hint and leave his big brother alone to drown in perverted thoughts and math homework. "Itachi-nii." He was persistent, but I knew if I could wait it out he'd have to leave. I was stubborn and he knew it. "Itachi."

Suddenly I was facing him; he'd grabbed my swiveling chair and jerked it around. Fed up with pretending I wasn't on the verge of committing mass murder, I let loose one of my trademark glares: the darkest in my arsenal, at that. In retrospect that might not have been the wisest thing to do, for the crushed look he gave me in return was one that still pains me to this day to reflect upon.

"Why won't you talk to me?" His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, trying to cover it up, but I felt terrible in no time flat. He hadn't done a thing to deserve being ignored and avoided; how could I be so mean to the person I cared about most?

"I'm sorry," I said, the stony look melting off my face. "I'm just stressed because of school."

"That's what you said last night, but for some reason I don't believe you." He stepped back, taking his hands off the arms of my chair and inadvertently allowing me to breathe again.

"You're used to a lot of homework; why's this time so different?"

"I've taken on a lot more than I'm used to this semester." It wasn't a lie, not really.

"Then why did you run out of the bathroom this morning without even saying good morning to me?" He crossed his arms; I knew he wouldn't budge until he got the answer he was looking for. I gnawed at the inside of my lip again. Where was my excuse for that?

"I was late for...tutoring." I saw the incredibility of my claim reflected back to me by the look on his face.

"You went to tutoring?" he asked slowly, drawing each word out. I almost cringed; it sounded even more ridiculous when he said it.

"Yes," I replied, careful to keep my voice serious. "I needed help understanding a new formula. I couldn't quite grasp it by myself."

He raised an eyebrow but I hurried on, eager for him to leave so I could distract myself with homework and leave this awkward situation before it got any worse. "Is there anything you wanted? I really need to get back to work." A part of me prickled with excitement at the thought of him requesting use of my laptop again. Maybe I could get another show…

He shook his head and I deflated. But then I mentally smacked myself upside the head for even entertaining the thought of peeping again, and swiveled my chair to face my desk.

"I'll see you at dinner, alright?" I said, picking up my pencil.

"...'Kay." I heard him head for the door, and then it was shut and I could breathe again. When I noticed I'd managed to stay mostly soft during our conversation, hope swelled inside me. Maybe this was going to pass.

Dinner was uneventful and Sasuke didn't offer to help me cook. We ate with minimal chit-chat, and aside from Sasuke asking if I'd like to watch a movie afterwards (which I had to decline), it was free of awkward moments as well. Unfortunately, it was also Friday, which meant that Sasuke and I would be in each other's company during the next two days for longer than I'd likely be able to stand. I tried to keep myself from thinking about it.

Since distracting myself seemed to be a quickly-developing hobby, I ended up completing the entire weekend's worth of homework in one night. Sadly, that would leave me fending for things to occupy my mind over the course of the weekend, but I tried to distract myself from that fact as well.

Sasuke didn't come into my room again that night and I managed to get to sleep without too much of a hassle. But maybe I should have gotten myself off before I went to bed, because my body seemed intent on getting relief regardless of me being awake or not.

I didn't remember much of my dreams once I woke up and even less as the day progressed, but all I knew was that Sasuke, myself, and my bed had played starring roles in them. I didn't give it much thought, figured it was just my subconscious sifting through things. But, I also realized that this was the first time I'd gotten off to thinking about touching him, and not just him touching himself, even if I hadn't been conscious or in control of my mind. It might have seemed ridiculously belated, but that was the moment I truly, without a doubt realized that I wanted to fuck him—that I actually wanted to fuck my little brother. I guess I needed it spelled out for me.

Sasuke was still fast asleep as I helped myself to breakfast, but I ate as quickly as I could, hoping I could somehow get out of the house for the day and avoid being in his company for too long. He came downstairs a few minutes after I'd finished eating, looking absolutely adorable with his sleep-ruffled hair and messy pajamas. I clenched my fist and opened my mouth, ready to spout some ridiculous excuse for why I'd be spending the entire day out of the house, but he beat me to it.

"Can I get a ride to Naruto's? He wants me to spend the night tonight."

I could feel every muscle in my body relaxing for the first time since my accidental voyeurism. I nodded quickly and offered him a smile. He didn't return it, but I decided to let it roll off my back. I told myself that all of this would be over by Monday, and we'd be back to spending time together and getting along like normal. We'd be fine. I was sure I'd manage to work through my strange thoughts and urges over the weekend.

He headed to the upstairs shower and I took the downstairs, hoping to avoid any other unintentional stripteases and expediting the process of getting him out of the house. It's a good thing we keep all bathrooms in the house stocked with toiletries and shampoo, something I'd taken for granted until that moment.

I dropped him off at Naruto's around an hour later, and, as I stepped into the house again, I felt lighter than I had in days. I ignored how empty the house felt as I sat down at my desk, staring at nothing in particular, and decided that this was the time to lay all of my thoughts on the table—literally.

I ripped a piece of paper out of my notebook and held a pencil tightly in my hand. I worked through things best when they were written out in front of me, so, after a moment of careful and quiet deliberation, I began to write.


By Monday, things were not better. I had not found a magic remedy for my new-found perversion, nor had my budding sexual feelings towards Sasuke faded away. If anything, they were getting worse, and I was beginning to feel less and less guilt, telling myself that as long as I didn't act on these urges, I really wasn't doing anything wrong. This still didn't sit very well with me, and I couldn't fathom how I was to continue living life as though everything was normal and I didn't want to rip my brother's clothes off, kiss him, taste him, fuck him, devour him… I could hardly go a few hours without having the urge to touch myself to thoughts of him, for Christ's sake.

I'd written all of my thoughts down, reread it and reread it, and come to realize that my "feelings" might run deeper than I'd first imagined. Sasuke and I had lived a rather sheltered and private life, and we didn't have many friends other than each other. Hell, I'd practically raised him once our parents stopped coming home as often, which had been around the time I turned thirteen. He truly was the closest person to me. Even when I'd had girlfriends in the past, he still came first—he was still the person I looked forward to seeing every night. I even blew off dates to spend time with him. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but now, looking back on it and combining my past and current actions with this freshly-awakened sexual attraction...I came to the conclusion that there was a very good chance I was in love with Sasuke.

It had taken a few hours for the initial shock to wear off, and even then I'd talked myself down a bit. I'd never been in love to begin with, so how could I even know how that felt? And with a boy, no less? A boy I was related to? I shook my head and told myself it was impossible, improbable; there was no way.

But now, sitting at my desk on Monday night, trying and failing to focus on my homework, I couldn't stop thinking that there was a very, very good chance that might just be the case.

I tapped my pencil against my lower lip, staring at the papers in front of me but not truly seeing anything. I had an essay to write as well, but I knew that the moment I opened Word I'd probably start spewing forth some Sasuke-related nonsense and I certainly couldn't turn that in for a grade. I sighed.

There was a light knock at my door, and I momentarily stiffened. Facing Sasuke sure as hell wasn't getting any easier, but controlling myself was. Even if my control never failed to crumble the second I was alone again.

"Come in."

Almost hesitantly, Sasuke pushed the door open. He was still acting a bit stand-offish and we hadn't spoken much since he'd come home yesterday, but it seemed the two of us were content with ignoring any awkwardness and keeping our distance, at least for now.

"Can I borrow your laptop?" he asked. "I need to write a paper for English."

My breath caught and my heart began to pick up speed. Suddenly my palms felt sweaty, as well as the nape of my neck, but I nodded quickly. A plan was forming in my mind before Sasuke even touched the computer.

"I think I'm going to head out for a bit," I said hurriedly, before I had a chance to really think it through. "Will you be alright by yourself?" My voice sounded distant and muffled through the sound of rushing blood. I couldn't remember a time I'd ever been so excited so quickly.

He nodded, not even giving me his usual indignant retort, but my mind was far away. If I could see him again… I clenched my pencil more tightly and gulped. I knew I would regret it, but God, watching him…

It took me a moment to realize he'd already left the room, but once I did I leapt from my chair, grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys, and headed out into the hallway. I peeked into his room (the door was cracked open—I could only hope it would stay that way) then headed downstairs and out the front door. My plan was simple: get in my car, drive it around for a few minutes, park it around the corner, and sneak back inside the house to see if Sasuke was up to anything.

God, I was sick. I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself from trembling in anticipation as I started the car and began to drive. Within a few minutes I was back inside, taking the steps as quietly as I could. At first, disappointment settled in my stomach when I didn't hear a single sound from Sasuke's room, but I decided to be patient. No point in giving up yet. I settled against the wall, out of view but close enough to hear anything and everything that Sasuke might do.

It took a few minutes, but then I heard the sound of a video starting and the volume quickly being turned down. I smirked and crept closer to his ajarred door, being careful to stay as hidden as I could. There would be no lying my way out of this one if I were caught.

So far Sasuke was still fully clothed, just lying on his back with his eyes on the computer screen, but I could tell he was getting antsy. He squirmed a bit on his bed, letting out a small, breathless moan, before his hand came to rest against his groin. He gave himself a little squeeze before resting his hand against his lower stomach, and I felt a rush of heat spread from my head to my toes. I couldn't believe I was doing this. Last time was one thing—it had been an honest mistake, an accident. But this was something else entirely.

Suddenly Sasuke jolted upright and I jumped back from the door, my heart thudding painfully hard. Had I been caught? No, I realized as I ventured closer to the door once more, he was only shifting position.

Now Sasuke was on his knees, slowly unzipping his pants, his eyes never leaving the screen. I found myself wishing to know what it was he was watching that had managed to capture his attention so completely. He seemed riveted by whatever it was, and I made a mental note to check the modem's history again later. He was even more absorbed than last time, and as he pulled his pretty cock out of his pants (and never before in my life had I been tempted to call a cock "pretty"), I also noticed that he seemed a lot more worked up.

I wished he were naked but was more than happy with what I had: just watching him while he masturbated, while he thought no one was watching, while he let himself go… God, did I want him. My breaths grew shallower and shallower the longer I watched Sasuke toy with himself, and when he suddenly decided to lift his shirt over his head, I had to bite my lip to keep from making any noises I might regret.

His movements were jerky and unrestrained, his voice loud and shameless; I, on the other hand, had to be much quieter as I scraped my nails over my denim-covered cock. More than anything I wanted to pull it out and touch it properly, but the risk of getting caught watching and masturbating was just too much.

"Mm, fuck," I heard Sasuke mutter, his eyes slipping closed and head falling back. He brought his free hand to his mouth, letting his fingers slip past his lips, and I squeezed my dick, practically on the verge of cumming just from the visual stimulation alone. After fantasizing about him for the past few days and replaying the last time in my mind over and over again, this was almost too good to be true.

His moans grew louder and he started to buck against his fist, humping his hand, and all too soon he came, cum splattering against his chest and a little even managing to splash towards the computer screen.

My eyes were blurry, my entire body was on fire, and I knew I was on the verge of making a mess of my pants—but somehow I managed to sneak towards the stairs, just in time to hear him mutter "shit!" and scramble around, probably trying to wipe his cum off the screen before it dried. I practically flew down the stairs, though walking with this bad of an erection was downright agonizing; but getting caught would undoubtedly be worse. By the time I made it downstairs I knew I needed to relieve myself, fast. I ducked into the half bathroom near the kitchen, closed the door as quietly as I could, and freed my cock from its denim prison. I fucked my hand hard, smearing it with pre-cum, bringing myself to ecstasy then plummeting over the edge, all while imagining Sasuke beneath me, whining, moaning, and mewling like a little whore.

God, did I want him…


When I came home that evening, yet another change had occurred within me—I couldn't tear myself away from Sasuke. It was like he had his own gravitational pull, and I was a planet hopelessly caught. We spent time together; we even watched a movie. But every time he brushed by me, spoke, smiled, did anything, my hands shook and my mouth went dry.

I knew watching him again had been a bad idea. Just when the fire had begun to calm, I poured gasoline on it. It was flaring hotter than ever now, and I feared it could grow out of control if I didn't pay close, constant attention to it. I wanted him like I'd never wanted anyone before; and now I barely cared about how wrong it was. It had been gnawing at my mind, poisoning me, and now...I was just going to have to live with it.

But God, just the way he looked at me made my entire body burn. Of course he mentioned I was acting strangely over dinner—hell, he'd even mentioned that my face looked flushed. But all I could do was watch his lips as he spoke and act like nothing, nothing at all, was bothering me. I'd gotten too good at that over the past few days, and he just seemed happy that we were spending time together again. He eventually stopped questioning me and instead suggested we watch another movie, which I quickly agreed to.

I knew at this point that if Sasuke ever were to spontaneously develop more-than-brotherly feelings for me, I wouldn't even feel guilty. I wouldn't care about his age, his gender, his relation to me—nothing. It seemed I'd worked through these feelings and concerns, and all that was left was one simple truth:

I was in love with him.

It might have been sick, wrong, illegal, but there was no changing it. I'd discovered my deepest and darkest secret, and there was no going back. This couldn't be buried again.

I guess I'd just have to live with it.


Later that night, after I'd masturbated myself to release yet again (as I said before, I could hardly go a few hours without craving it), my laptop began taunting me with the answers it held. With haste I booted it up and scrolled through the pages he'd visited that day, and I could already feel my dick trying to recuperate as little flashes from earlier played in front of my eyes. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down, but I knew this eternal horniness was inescapable.

"Damn it, Sasuke," I muttered with a melancholic little smirk. Then I opened my eyes and resumed scrolling.

I stopped breathing for a moment when I found what I'd been looking for before I pushed away from my desk and stood on wobbly legs. There was no way… I crouched down, stared at the screen until my eyes stung from not blinking, but the words...I just couldn't digest them. I read the same title over and over again before finally clicking the video link. Even then, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. How on Earth…

"Brother on brother," I breathed, as though convincing myself that what I was seeing wasn't just my overactive, oversexed imagination. The video wasn't too terrible, I noted as I sank back into my seat. It seemed legitimate by the crappy film quality and the way the two acted together, as though they were craving each other's touch more than the air they breathed. They even looked alike. There was ample dirty talk, but It didn't do much for me, as Sasuke's show still ranked higher in my opinion. But when it dawned on me that both of the brothers had dark hair and pale skin and seemed to have quite a difference in age...that was when the wheels began to turn even faster.

I was trembling all over. What did this mean? Surely...surely he didn't…

I exited out of the video and shut my laptop.

I needed to go to sleep.


Well, hopefully that was better than I thought it was. Mehhh. I just...put so much work into that, man. *shakes head* But I guess I'm my own worst critic. I'm sorry for any spelling errors or terrible mistakes or whatever. XD I tried, but I don't have an official beta, so... *looks away* Also, I'm sorry if Itachi seemed too out of character. I dunno. XD

Reviews are beautiful things. *puppy dog eyes* Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit! I'll try my best to edit and post the second part by Saturday, but maybe a couple of nice reviews could make that happen a little faster? c: (Or, knowing me, on time. ;-;) I'm totally not bribing you guys. Totally.

Have a good day/night/whatever it is wherever you live. C: