Getting to Mount Weather
"Clarke," said Octavia pulling me out of my thoughts, "my brother would like to speak to you."
I walked out of the drop ship spotting Bellamy. I still have this out of touch anger when I see him. I don't understand how a person could live with killing so many innocent people no matter what anyone has done to you. Although he did try to help us find the radio. I still don't see his logic, but I guess when you're desperate enough you'll do what it takes to stay alive or be with a loved one whatever the story is he's going with.
I walk up to him and he immediately notices me.
"Clarke, I think it's time we try and get to Mount Weather and I think that it would be best if we all traveled together, but taking a different approach than before. Do you still have that map from when you went the first time?"
"Yes, what do you think we should do?"
"We can talk about it later. I have to get a few things done today. Could you meet me in my tent after dark?"
"Sure" I say hesitantly. I wonder what his approach will be and why we have to meet in his tent after dark. I also know good and well he doesn't do anything around here that would take all day. Any way I began to walk away when I heard Bellamy say my name.
"Clarke," I love how he says my name. What? Stop that Clarke! "could you bring that map"
"Yea, sure"
I walk away and I hear my name again this time it was Finn. God, what does he want?
"Clarke, I just saw you talking to Bellamy. What did he want?"
"I don't know yet, I promise you'll be the first person I talk to when I do." I say sarcastically, I still haven't completely forgiven him for the whole Raven thing.
I begin to walk away when he grabs my wrist. I pull it away as if he'd burned me.
"Clarke, I've already apologized for Raven and what do you mean you don't know. You were there weren't you?"
I really hated how he was talking to me right now.
"I am not talking about this with you in front of the entire camp and what I do and who I talk to is none of your business!" I storm away as he calls my name over and over again. While I try to convince myself that he doesn't matter to me anymore.
Later that night
I rose from my cot and walked out of the drop ship trying to extremely quiet, having someone catch sneaking into Bellamy's tent at night wouldn't be the best thing to happen to her.
I walked over to Bellamy's tent and just walked in to see he wasn't inside. I sat on his bed and laid down. If I was going to be sitting in hear waiting on him, I might as well take advantage of the bed.
I woke up to someone's hand gently shaking me awake. I must have fallen asleep. I knew before I even looked up that Bellamy was the one who woke me up. I felt strong arms on my shoulders and when I looked up our eyes locked together. Neither of us wanted to break it. His eyes shifted to my lips and my shifted to his. Before I knew it he was leaning in. I was too scared to meet him half way.
He met my lips with a soft chaste kiss. When he pulled back, the kiss lingered. I didn't even realize that I'd closed my eyes. When they fluttered open he was staring intently at me waiting for my response. All I could think to do was lean in a kiss him hard on the lips. He immediately kissed me back.
I shifted so I was comfortable on the bed and he settled himself in between my legs. I could feel that he was getting excited. I was becoming quite aware of what we were doing and I broke the kiss.
I looked away, but not before I saw the look of hurt and utter confusion on his face.
"Clarke" Why did he have to say my name. I love when he says my name.
For some reason I couldn't help but meet his gaze when he said it.
"Did I do something wrong?" I could see the honest fear and nervousness on his face.
"No… I think the problem was that you're doing everything right. Bellamy where is all this coming from?"
"I don't know and I don't care, all I know is that I like it. I like it a lot Clarke."
"Yea, it feels really good, but what is this, Bellamy. I'm so confused."
"I don't know exactly, but it feels too good not to find out. Do you want to find out Clarke?" Again I saw fear in his expression, like he's afraid of my answer. Was it bad that seeing him this vulnerable at my hands was the most adorable thing ever?
Before I could respond he immediately went into defense mode. Like a snap of a finger.
"Well if you don't want to Princess, that's fine. There are plenty of girls that seek my attention. You're not that special."
Without meaning to a felt a tear roll down my cheek and I tried to wipe it away before he noticed, but he did anyway.
"Oh my God, Clarke. I didn't mean it; I'm sorry."
He reached out to console me, but immediately slapped his hand away.
"No. You don't get to say all that stuff without even giving me a chance to respond and then say sorry. How can you go from saying all that about wanting to find out what this was to saying that there are plenty of girls for you to sleep with? No Bellamy you don't get to do that."
I got up and tried to walk out of the tent failing. I immediately felt his hands at my waist and without meaning to, leaning into his chest and letting him enclose me in his cage of an embrace. I don't know why I didn't just demand he let me go.
"Bellamy this isn't fair. You can't just say things like that and get away with because you say sorry, say my name and hold me."
He kissed my head. "I'm sorry, I was really scared to have you turn me down. I care about you. I think I did before we kissed. Now you just know about it. I wasn't sure you'd feel the same way." He loosened his embrace and turned me around. His eyes were starting to water. "I know sorry doesn't just make it better, but please just forgive me it won't happen again." After not responding he spoke again "God, Clarke please just forgive me."
It took only a second to say," I do, I forgive you."
He pulled me over to the bed and sat me on his lap. I gasped because apparently he was still excited.
He chuckled realizing why I gasped. "Yea Clarke that's what you do to me." He said in a low voice.
I turned to face him and smiled. "That is kind of why I stopped the kiss, I was scared of where it was going when I was so confused about what we were."
"Oh and one more thing" I turned his head so our noses where touching," I do want to find out what this is."
He smiled and pecked me on the lips. We just sat there enjoying the peace and silence. It was something we didn't get often, but I really thought we should talk about what I came to talk about.
"Um, Bell, I think we should talk about Mount Weather" he sighed " I'm sorry we can talk about it later if you want."
"Yea, in the morning," he laid us back on his bed, " and since when so you call me Bell?"
"I thought I'd try it out, and I like it."
"Well call me what you want PRINCESS." He said knowing I'd hate it.
"Oh no, I hate that nickname!" I said playfully.
We laid there a tangle of limbs until we fell asleep.
