The entire Yiga clan assembled in front of their secret base on Cape Crescia. Seeing them all formed up before him always gave Master Kohga chills. A vast powerful organization, brought together by a single purpose: to kill Link.
The squad leaders reported all were present, so Kohga began his prepared speech.
"All right, Yiga Warriors. We're gathered here tonight for a singular, critical purpose. For all our training, there is one weakness we have yet to overcome.
"Tonight, you will learn how to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana!"
"You eat the banana!" exclaimed an anonymous clansman in the crowd.
"You fool! That's just what he wants you to do!"
"I kinda like this guy," said another.
Kohga screamed internally, and then externally too for good measure. This is exactly why they were losing an entire war waged against one solitary Hylian.
"Shut up!" he said. "Now, you there!" He pointed at a random person. "Guard that treasure chest, don't let me touch it."
"Sir!" The man trotted over.
"Now! Suppose someone were to come at you with a banana," Koga continued.
"Supposing he has a pointed stick?"
"Shut up! The important thing is to not get distracted. Now, I will drop the banana on the ground. Do not let it distract you."
He dropped the banana. Predictably, the man in front of the chest immediately started walking toward it. So did the rest of the Yiga clan. Kohga sighed. No hope of recovering training after that. And of course several would end up injured in the ensuring brawl. He walked away and let the fools beat themselves silly. He would have to try new tactics.
"Alright, Yiga Warriors! Today we train a new skill. Banana hunting. I want every single banana on this cape eaten by twilight. If you-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence. They were already gone.
Logically, if they just ate every banana, there wouldn't be any left to distract them. Still, he couldn't help the gnaw of worry as he paced the beach waiting for them to return.
They didn't.
Not that night, nor the next. He sighed and set out to recover his troops. Of course, they had, to man, eaten themselves into a banana coma.
"Well then, we have learned something about bananas, haven't we?"
A pause, a very long one. Longer than the largest banana Kohga had ever seen.
"Bananas are yummy and fun to eat?" ventured someone.
Kohga fainted.
"That's it!" Kohga yelled once he had recovered. "We're moving to the middle of the banana-forsaken desert!"
"Boss, that's over 6,561,666 bananas away!"
"NOW!"
