A/N ok so this is just a story that would not leave my mind. It's not a klaine story or even a crisscolfer but it is about Darren. He doesn't make an appearance in the first chapter but he will be there, I promise. It does start a little bit dark but things get better, I promise this too! I have a lot of this story written but I am only posting the first five chapters at the moment and want to see how this goes first. I also am not sure if I'm happy with where the story has taken me at the moment so as I progress posting chapters any feedback or ideas on how someone else might see it, would be helpful too.
Her Story
She got to the beach, the world weighing heavy on her mind, turned off the car and sat in silence for a moment. Looking out the windows to the surroundings she knew and loved. She grabbed the latch on the door, pushing her shoulder into it lightly, to nudge it open. The sound of the waves already playing in her ears, she walked through the warm sand until she got closer to the waters' edge. It was dark and quiet and the stars were just beginning to sprinkle across the sky. The beach was deserted and the sand looked as pale and smooth as it felt under her bare feet.
After looking at the waves, the water, the light patches of white foam riding the tide, losing herself in the sights and sounds of it, she wandered backed just a little to a small hill of sand and sat. She grabbed fistfuls of sand and let it slide through her fingers back to where it began on the beach. At first she was paying great attention as she did this, ciphering through it and pulling out all the small shells she could see while doing so. Over time she lost track of any new shells and simply and mindlessly continued to sift the sand. It was something for her hands to do while her mind wandered.
Every time she came to the beach, she couldn't help but be reminded of the life she had lived until now, the good times and the bad times. It seemed lately, the more she came here, the more bad times she had to recall. Life had snuck up on her and to some extent it had slipped by without her even noticing. Here she was, on the beach again, thinking of all the bad, but this was why she came to the beach at night, alone, and knowing that it would be empty. She could talk out loud, scream to the sky for answers if she wanted to, cry a moat into the beach sand in front of her, and no one else would see, hear, or know. It was her time, her place in the world, in her moment of weakness.
Tonight felt like a new weakness washed through her. It wasn't just a sadness that she could cry away. It wasn't a sense of doubt even, that had always been there. It was deeper and bigger than any pain, sadness, doubt, or rejection she had ever felt. It was a resolution. It was her inner being telling her that it, and therefore she, was done fighting. She could reason with herself that it wasn't necessary, she could cry a river into the sand, she could scream at the sky until the moon became the sun, but it wasn't going to change the feeling that tickled at her mind and coiled its way into her body. She was just…done.
She did do all those things, over the course of the next few hours. She reasoned with herself that nothing would be gained by giving up the fight, it didn't work. In the end she came to the conclusion that there would be gains, in the lives of others around her. This made it worth it. No one else would have to deal with it, with her, anymore. Then she cried, she cried harder than she ever had in her life, her guts twisting with each sob that ripped through her body. She yelled hatred for herself, for the world, for her life, at a sky that now felt cold and forbidding to her. She cleansed her body and her mind by getting out every fear, every doubt, worry and anger she felt. It exhausted her but she felt better too. She didn't feel good, but she felt better. She felt she confronted all of the demons inside of her and even though she felt she was succumbing to them, she felt like her actions and words told them she was choosing to, by her own design. She was weak and broken but she accepted it.
She smiled, somewhere between contented and happy, up at the sky. She stood up slowly but showing more confidence in her own decision than she had in what felt like years. For the first time in a long time she felt a sense of purpose and urgency for what she needed to do. With narrowed, firm set eyes, she looked again to the water and it seemed more appealing now than it had before. She began walking through the soft white sand, still warm under her feet. She walked with determination and what would have appeared to anyone else to have been such concentration to her task, she wouldn't have known if the rest of the world had fallen away. Before she even realized it, she was in the water, up to her knees. The feel of the cold waves lapping up her legs woke her from her trance like state. As warm a night as it was, as warm as the sand had been, she would never have guessed that the water would have felt this cold. It momentarily shook her thoughts as she shuttered from the coldness of it. No, she came here for a purpose and she was going to do what she needed to do.
