I'm standing on the wall

Of Aleport Keep.

Today I dropped the ball,

Because I got too much sleep.


My name is S'nairoh,

And I'm a proud defender!

Last night I drank till the morrow,

And now I'm hangover's surrender.


Ack! Sorry! I'm jumpy!

Don't scare me like that!

Pardon if my speech is bumpy,

And pardon my crooked hat.


Adventurer! Please help me,

I'm in need of aide!

I need a hangover remedy,

The best kind ever made!


Look, just wait here,

I know somebody who

Can save my rear

With a remedy, and love, too.


Off to the general shop

I scurry in a hurry.

You're at my post on wall top.

I'm ordering the remedy all slurry.


While you're there, you

Might meet my superior.

Of all you could say or do,

She'll make you feel inferior.


"Where's S'nairoh?" she

Will ask you boldly,

With eyes a-gleam,

Glaring oh so coldly.


You could tell her where

I went, but that would

Give me away. Try to keep her there

And lie as convincingly as you could.


And when she surveys,

You don't want to run.

I'm almost out of my daze,

Then I'll come bright as the sun!


"She put you up to this,

Didn't she?" my boss will ask.

Did I mention if you give a kiss,

She'll take off her mask?


Nya-ha-ha! I'm joking!

You don't want to do that!

Oh, shite, you did! She's smoking

Mad and she'll beat you with that—


Wait, adventurer! Don't fight!

She'll destroy you ten times over!

Look! I'm back now! I'm alright!

S'nairoh: Aleport Soldier!


As you leave my post, you

Will hear me saying,

"That adventurer had nothing to do

With anything! I was only playing!"


And, of course, I get

Chewed out again, but,

Hey, she's the best boss I ever met,

And I'll stay here, no matter what!