The Game of Repentance

Disclaimer: I neither own Prince of Tennis or Digimon

Rating: M

Warnings: Violence, trauma, mature themes, strong and crude language

Summary: "Kari Yagami," Yukimura Seiichi said aloud, talking to his own reflection in the mirror with a ferocious, possessed smirk. "I'll make you pay in place of your brother. We will play the Game of Repentance." (Revised, darker, more intense version up now!)

This is a version that is revised and darker than the original.

Chapter 1: Constrains

§-§

They sat in the darkened therapist office.

Yukimura Seiichi's face was subjected to the play of light and shadow in the room, which made him look harsher and older but still eerily attractive. However, his blue eyes were not lustrous, but jaded, no longer seeing the future he had seen before; he could no longer attain it. His desired future now lay in ashes.

He was embittered.

In place of him was now an empty shell, a replica of him who had the same appearance, but whose core was completely different.

In front of him sat a woman in her forties, who looked like she was already in her fifties because of the lines graved into her face: his therapist. Faintly, she reminded him of a reversed version of Sumire Ryuuzaki, who was the infamous, female coach of Seigaku with a hot temper and who according to rumors had the ability draw out the hidden potential of anyone she took under her wings, but the woman in front of him seemed to be the polar opposite from her. Quiet, patient, softer. Someone whose ability was not to ignite but to subdue-

-the inner wounds of a tormented mind.

Someone who was specialized in helping people...like him.

How deeply had he fallen, he mused bitterly, hating himself for his weakness.

"I will be frank with you, Yukimura-kun. I cannot give you back what you have lost," she told him sincerely.

"I didn't expect that of you, doctor," he replied, resigned.

"But I can give you something else," she compromised.

"And what would that be?" He asked almost snarkily.

"A state of acceptance."

§-§

It was autumn; the mellowness of spring was already gone. In place its were cool winds, depressing rain clouds, a bleariness in general that was emphasized by the withering maple leafs dying of the trees outside. Cars were parked in front of the block of buildings, which were mostly apartments, among which the office of his therapist was located, and quite isolated from the world. Now he was even more isolated from it. A fitting punishment for his wrongdoings, he guessed.

Yukimura stepped out of the therapist office, through the corridor that was covered with muddy brown carpets that didn't add any delight to the setup, but worsened the sense of desolation the autumn created instead. When he reached the waiting room that was connected to the tiny lobby and reception, he saw a girl with brunette hair, ruby-red eyes and delicate figure he had more than not dreamt about. She had been sitting on the outdated wooden chairs that were softened with green cushions, but immediately stood up when she spot him.

Since the warm months were long over, she was no longer in summer clothes. Long jeans, ankle boots, a thick, long coral pink sweater and finally a white scarf protected her from the cool weather. Another testament to change of seasons. Her sad, lovely eyes looked expectantly at him, and he hated them.

He only cast her an embittered smirk, however, then lowered his head, so that his navy bangs obscured his eyes as he strode past her with hands in his pocket, heading towards the door that was separated from him only by a short distance.

§-§

5 Months Ago...

I want everything that constrains me to be gone.

It was raining.

Kari Yagami toyed with the thought of drowning herself in the rain as her ruby eyes stared dully at the needles of water that fell from the ashen sky. Those needles saturated the campus, forcing the students to seek shelter from it.

She was among those, as she huddled in front of the Universities' library, now half-dry from the overhang of the building's roof, but the emphasis lay on half. The rain had still managed to surprise and soak partially her before, but she noticed the chill until it had seeped right to her bones. Only, then she noticed that her skin had been half-frozen was but did nothing against it, not caring about it. Despite her long-sleeved, black shirt and her long jeans she was under-dressed for this kind of weather, while everyone else would've rushed to a dryer, warmer place Kari Yagami didn't.

She just ignored it as she absentmindedly observed the other students on the campus without even flinching from the cold. Some of the students rushed from faculty to faculty, while some others simply stayed beneath the faculties' overhang, all having the sole intent to stay dry. But of course there was a third category: there were some who weren't afraid of the rain and ran through it to the train-station, not caring about how soaked they got in the process.

Kari was not one of them, even though she was quite good at ignoring the rain, but her indifference to it was more feigned than not. She hated the rain with a passion; it brought nothing but misery to her. A certain kind of memory that she loathed so much it hurt.

The sound of the water needles from the sky was rhythmic, almost hypnotic, and would've been enjoyable, even for people who didn't like the train. For Kari, however, there was nothing enjoyable about it.

Somehow her desolate, bitter thoughts spiraled out of control, resulting in the cruel prank her senses decided to play on her.

The scent of the rain underwent a sickening metamorphose, no longer smelling of wet leafs, stones and earth, but of a sickeningly sweet, rotten odor instead; an unnamed kind of wash-powder that was interlaced with an overpowering, decaying vanilla-scent.

The kind of scent that woman loved to use.

Kari suddenly wanted to vomit and to crawl out of her skin, her head spinning with the vertigo caused by the hallucination. She needed to seek shelter somewhere else before she could her nausea could grow worse and subject her to it, deciding to quickly enter the library, practically ripping the heavy glass door open in her haste.

Immediately the warmth of the interior, the warm brown hues of the spacious University library and the pleasant chatters of the students greeted her- the nausea smell was gone.

Kari felt a minuscule sense of liberation.

With a sense of curiosity she thought no longer existed, she looked around in the library.

At the very right was a niche, reminiscent to a lobby with its window benches that some of students used as a sitting place and with its small coffee-machine that was designed for those who needed refreshment. The students seemed to be oblivious to the weather, totally lost in the conversations with the others. The chocolate-brown carpets and walls created a kind of warmth that had been absent her entire childhood.

She liked it here.

It was a...nice place.

Completely different from the dirty, dark house she had been forced to grow up in during her childhood years.

She glanced at the windows again, estimating from what she saw that she wouldn't be able to get home in the next half an hour. So she might as well do something useful instead of waiting for the time to crawl by.

Suddenly she remembered the 10-pages essay her professor had told them beforehand about; it wasn't due until a couple of months, but she might as well prepare for it now.

Literary resources were going to be of absolute necessity her professor had pointed out.

First, she needed and decided to register for a reader pass in the library. The reception counter that was isolated behind glass panels, and the person in charge was a nice, old man who in charge. He registered her quickly and slipped the laminated library card with her ID under the glass after he was done.

Kari thanked him with a blank, jaded smile, but the old man seemed to be overjoyed by the tiny gesture alone and enthusiastically bid her goodbye.

She walked to the entrance that led to the book sections and that was secured by an alarm system. Behind it was a sector that was equipped with several service spots, all of them were designed for self-use- except for one. The only exception was obviously a service-and info point for which an expert staff was in charge for and to help the customers, but it was currently empty.

However, that was momentarily unimportant for her as she headed to the staircase that was made of metal in search for the department that was of significance for her. Kari was not exactly enthusiastic in her search but she found the department of Media Science and Art nonetheless; it was on the third floor. She checked out the shelves and magically spotted three books that caught her interest and that would be of no use for her 10-pages essay, but she wanted them nevertheless. She decided to borrow them and left the department, going back from where she came from. She returned to the several service points sector to check out her books, but unfortunately she had no idea how to use those machines.

The only option left was to receive help from the service and info point, which was now fortunately occupied.

Kari saw the attractive backside of the young man in charge for it. From behind, she saw that he was tall, toned and slender in statue, which was accentuated by the sharp cut of his navy-blue blazer, its color being on par with his wavy hair in terms of shade. The fall of his wavy hair across his strong, pale nape fascinated to her, and she suddenly had the mad urge to lick his skin. She must've been crazy. With a cough, she forced the blush on her cheeks to disappear as her eyes kept on watching him curiously.

He was typing something into the second on the counter while holding a book open; she guessed he was probably typing the meta-data into the system. She approached him with odd sense of anticipation, of foreboding as if this encounter was going to be special.

When she stood at the service point counter, his back was still facing her; he hadn't heard her coming since the carpeted floor had swallowed any wet sounds her pink Chucks could've possibly made.

"Excuse me," Kari said nervously, not knowing why her heart was beating so hard while leaning a little forward on the counter. "Can you help me?"

"Yes," he responded curtly. "Just one moment."

He finished what he was typing and turned around to take care of her, or to be more exact of whatever she had wanted from him as a customer.

Kari's crimson eyes widened when she saw his face-

- he was not a stranger.

She recognized him as the beautiful boy with the angry, embittered eyes that burned for vengeance as he stood alongside the police team inside her family's house. That was the first time she had seen him, and remembered back then that she had been curious, not so jaded and old on the inside.

"Yukimura-san…"

"Hello little rabbit," he greeted her mockingly. If he was surprised to see her, he was good at hiding it. In the next moment, he allowed a provocative smirk to curl on his lips. " You have grown taller in the time we haven't seen each other. Even prettier. And it seems that you've gotten rid of the habit to hide behind your parents."

She blushed involuntary. "Don't bring that up. It was a long time ago."

"Five years to be exact," he stated.

She was swamped by an unwanted flood of memories about the day they had met. The police had stood before their door, the neighbors had been watching and prying into her family's business with their nosy noses – it had terrified her. The intimidating officers in the powder and navy blue uniforms had terrified her.

That was the real reason why she had hit behind her parents.

The meeting with the police officers had been awful.

But the meeting with the beautiful boy had not been, despite his angry eyes.

He was much taller than her now, less boyish in appearance than he had been four years ago. Now the top of her head barely reached the column of his throat, whereas in the past it had already reached the tip of his nose. His features were more mature now but still somewhat feminine, the contours of his jaw-line having become harder, sharper and his eyes more piercing, but in contrast the delicate curve of his lips and gentle line of his cheekbones had remained. His wavy hair was longer now, and it looked very good on him.

He was so beautiful.

It would've been so easy for him to make a living in the model industry if he had wanted.

The kind of features he possessed were sought after in the model industry, but it was his fascinating beauty which forced you to keep on looking at him, whether you wanted or not, was what would've gotten him on the top.

He inquired, "What can I do for you?"

Kari replied, still nervous, "I wanted to borrow those books... but I'm new here. It's only my first week at the University and I don't really know how to check out at those self-service points."

"That's not a problem. I can check them out for you; it's a part of my job anyway," he assured her, but there was no cordiality in his tone that was like a laceration to her heart.

She said happily, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied but with no real sincerity.

Kari slid the three books she had piled up along with her library ID atop across the counter towards him, and he scanned both under a red-rayed bar-code scanner with such a professional swiftness that it amazed her.

"There you go," he said, sliding the pile of books with the ID library atop back to her.

"Well, the next time you can do that yourself at the self-service points," he told her, his gaze nonverbally demanding her to listen. "First, hold your library ID under the scanner, then your books. The screen will let you know whether it worked or not; you just repeat it as many times as necessary until it works. And when you're done, just print out the library receipt."

"Thank you very much, Yukimura-san," Kari voiced her gratitude shyly, smiling in embarrassment.

"No problem," he replied curtly. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

She purposely misinterpreted it as a question on a more personal level, even though it was obviously only supposed to address any further needs she might have regarding the library business.

"I wasn't aware that you attended this University, let alone that you worked as a librarian," she attempted to start a conversation on a more personal level with, looking bright-eyed with anticipation at him. Only students of this University were allowed to work in the establishments or shops on this campus, and she tried to use that piece of information as a steppingstone for a potential conversation.

"Now you know," he said wryly. Obviously not very fond of a conversation with her, which he made clear to her with his next statement. "Unfortunately, chit-chatting with a customer is not a part of my job, so I hope we could refrain from it," he shot her down coolly, shattering her hopes and eliciting a string of apologies from Kari.

"Of-of course not! I'm sorry to bother you! See you around!" She stammered, grabbed her books, stuffed them into her bag, which she zipped hastily, while sensing the taunting roll of his eyes directed at her. She snuck a glance at him, but as she did so he was already no longer looking at her, causing her to feel a pang of hurt.

Another female student, who had been waiting in line, strode forward and flashed him a big grin in the meanwhile. "~Hi, Yukimura-kun."

He only greeted her with detached politeness, no smile. "Hello."

The female student was average in terms of looks but not discouraged by Yukimura's cool attitude, trying to chat him up while using her eyes and lips flirtatiously. It repulsed Kari, even though he wasn't returning her advances, shooting them down, too. Kari knew she was being irrational; they weren't together, so he was up for grabs for the girls and that included the other brunette.

But the iron, hot band in her chest constricted nevertheless. Kari never had a taste of jealously before when it came to guys, but now she did and somehow the sting of jealously reminded her of the pain, which a cruel girl with pink hair in her childhood used to like inflicting on her. It was so bad that she had to flee from the situation before it became worse, but unbeknownst to her, Yukimura's dark eyes were following her all the way until she had completely disappeared from the library.

§-§

Kari was saturated in the lukewarm of her bathtub, and sighed, recalling the unexpected reunion with Yukimura Seiichi in her mind.

Again, she thought of their first meeting, which had occurred in her adolescence that had been ordinary, unremarkable -unlike her childhood.

Her childhood had been a tale of horror.

Abuse, neglect and the lack of warmth and love had been her and her brother's daily bread- with no hope of salvation. Their parents hadn't cared. The arrival of a new tomorrow that was supposed to bring new chances and hope meant nothing to them; they had been saturated in a blank terror almost every day.

They meant nothing to their parents.

Who only bothered to put on a show of being loving parents in front of their relatives, friends and acquaintances.

Her parents had been nothing but fucking hypocrites who were cold-blooded enough to leave them in the care of a woman who was psychologically disturbed.

She could still remember it clearly how that woman wasn't human, subjecting them to countless inhuman treatments. That wasn't all, the details of her moldy, cold and dark house had also been burned into the core of her mind, leaving deep, bloody imprints that served as inspiration for her nightmares. The old-fashioned but elaborate staircase, the white tiled floor and the ratty mud-brown couches- the disgustingly sweet odor that washing powder that woman liked to use, she could see and smell almost every detail very clearly.

Suddenly the psychophysical pain caused by the trauma she had suffered in her childhood was back, crawling through her system like worms and spreading through her like an incurable disease. Kari delved under the water until she was completely submerged.

You could do nothing against it.

It will always come back to you for more, destroying all of you without a conscience, with any remorse or guilt.

If the water tangled around her and swallowed her up forever, she probably wouldn't mind.

"Kaariiiiiiii~ I'm hooooome!" Mimi arrived at home, sing-songing through the entire apartment.

Kari startled and jerked up, sitting upright, and despite the unwanted relapse into the time of her abusive childhood, a smile found its way to her lips.

Mimi was there. Everything would be fine now. At least, she wouldn't have to be alone with the abusive woman that always in her mind now.

§

The two girls had spaghetti for dinner. Kari was the one who had cooked since Mimi had the uncanny ability to even burn water.

"The weather was really awful today!" Mimi complained, vexed.

"Yes, it definitely was," Kari replied. "How did you manage to stay dry?"

When Mimi had come home, her clothes were completely dry even though had not taken an umbrella with her.

"I stayed with my people in a coffee shop where we managed to do a good chunk of our project!" Mimi wolfed down a forkful of spaghetti, chewing happily. "We will probably be able to complete it this weekend."

Kari smiled weakly at her own plate of Italian noodles with no real appetite, and commented half-heartedly, "That's good to hear."

"How has your day been?" The other girl asked her in return, and Kari stilled temporary.

"Surprising, I guess," Kari answered.

"Oh in which way?"

"I...saw someone from my teenage time again."

"Oh, is it a boy?" Mimi inquired curiously, such things always piped her interest. She was such a busy-body when it came to that topic.

"Hm, yeah. But I'm not sure," Kari paused to think and smirked wickedly at her roommate afterward. "Maybe you should check."

"Ew!" Mimi shrieked and slapped Kari's shoulder. "That's disgusting."

Kari smiled faintly. "I was just teasing."

"Is he good-looking?" Mimi fired another question, obviously hooked with the subject of their conversation.

Kari rolled her eyes. "All female students in the library must be stalking him."

"Wohooo! That's fantastic. Shall I help you to score with him?"

"Don't be silly, Mimi," she admonished her roommate, shaking her head sadly. "I don't think that he likes me much."

"Aww no way...How comes?"

Kari shrugged. "It's a long story."

"I really don't understand how can he not like you. I mean you are such a sweet girl."

"Thanks, Mimi," Kari said but didn't mean it.

"You know what? I really like you. You were there for me when I needed it the most, not like all the other bitches who only pretended to be my friends because of my parents had money."

Kari bit her lip to refrain herself from saying something hurtful to Mimi.

You should be glad that your parents cared about you unlike mine.

Mimi was all bright colors, confidence and cheerfulness in one, everything for which Kari would've killed for, but she didn't voice that aloud. However, the older, more experienced girl was a good friend, always trying to drag her to parties and co to make Kari's life brighter, but more often than not she didn't understand her, couldn't understand her, because they had a completely different past. Mimi's parents were loving, having taken care of her themselves and protected her thorough her entire childhood, whereas her parents had left her in her aunt's abusive hands to rot. Life could be unfair.

Kari only smiled wordlessly at her and reached out to rub her shoulder in a gesture of silent comfort and sympathy.

Mimi chirped and proclaimed loudly, switching from being serious to air-headeded. "I loooove your cooking, Kari.

Suddenly Kari had to chuckle, "Don't you ever get tired of my spaghetti? I make it almost every day after all."

"No! Of course, not! You always put so much effort into it! How could I get tired of eating food that is filled with so much love?"

"Thank you but you still can't worm your way out of doing the dishes."

"Geez, meanie."

Kari laughed. She truly loved Mimi.

§-§

When it was late at night, Kari was already under the covers, in her bed, relishing the cool sensation of the blanket and her nightgown against her skin, looking up at the ceiling, then at Mimi's occupied bed.

The other girl was already sleeping soundly and calmly, her pink-dyed curls streaked by the light that filtered through the half-closed curtains inside. Kari's eyes became half-lidded as she envied her for being able to sleep without being plagued by nightmares unlike her, then she rolled to the side of the wall and closed her eyes.

At the next morning, Kari took the train to the University, the noise of the train and the surrounding drowning everything. Whenever she was in this train, time seemed to stand still.

Then, when she lifted her gaze, she spotted Yukimura amid the crowd, using his smart-phone to look something up with his smart-phone, not having seen her yet.

A couple of female students in Kari's age-range checked him out in between occasional giggles, which wasn't surprisingly since he looked truly good in that blazer and those formal pants like he had been born for them.

Kari suddenly felt hollow on the inside.

When he was done with his smart-phone, he slid it back into his pocket, letting his eyes drift across the train along, over the passengers before they met hers. Somehow he was really good at keeping his surprise at bay; he didn't even battle an eye. He just looked coolly away, turning his body to the opposite direction.

She glanced away with a heavy feeling of emptiness, looking out of the window instead of at him, losing herself in the landscape of trees and streets painted across the glass until she forgot who she was.

§-§

"The media has been a part of our life for a long time since..."

She listened dully to her professor's lecture, sitting in the back rows, feeling swallowed up in the vastness of the hall. However, she wasn't able to retain any information because it all seemed to seep out of her mind again right after she had heard it.

Did the professor care at all who he was teaching? Or were they all just nameless faces to him?

She was certain that it was the latter.

All he saw in front of him were probably just different-colored blotches in different rows, or maybe they were even all the same color to him. Was there a point in asking such pointless questions?

Her brother would have never bothered with such- they were so different in many aspects and that was just one of them.

He had always known exactly what he wanted- unlike her. He had always wanted to become a professional soccer player since he was young and he had chased after his dream with an ambition and fierceness that was unusual, frightening for his age. But sometimes she questioned herself if it was exactly this kind of ambition and fierceness that had created a monster inside him that drove him to ruin someone else's life.

Yukimura Seiichi was in that aspect the same as her brother. Fierce, intense, extreme.

In the back of her mind, the memory of crossed-out photos, which had been secretly taken from Yukimura Seiichi flashed in front of her, raising questions that needed to be answered.

§-§

"And, please think carefully about which topic you want to chose for you 10-pages essay."

The lecture of her professor had ended, and Kari rubbed her head with a sigh. Her brain felt so empty and drained despite the long lecture they just had, meaning she had not really been able to remember much of it. Or maybe, she just didn't care much about remembering it.

Kari dragged herself from the sitting row to the exit, staring dully at the small and big groups of students, feeling left out.

Mimi probably wasn't going to be home yet. It was too early, so she needed something to distract herself with because she didn't want to be alone.

There was only one place in the University that brought her solace.

§-§

Kari went home, discovering that the apartment she shared with Mimi was empty, which meant that her friend hadn't returned from the University, yet.

Their apartment was cozy, more than big enough for two people. They had W-LAN, telephone connection, warm water and electricity for a rent that was wonderfully cheap, even for students. They had been truly lucky with this apartment.

Kari had been truly grateful that she had found Mimi's want ad about needing a roommate and become her roommate, because another apartment might not have been as cheap. And, she still needed to find a part-time job – she was currently living off her student loan.

Discarding her bag with unfinished homework, Kari changed into a shoulderless, homey shirt and a pair of gray shorts. Then, she snuggled on her bed with the book she had borrowed from the library today, flipping through the glossy pages of the book "The Love depicted by Photography", lovingly tracing the black and white photos. The style of those photos was dark, moody and frightening, but she felt morbidly drawn to them, which might not have been a coincidence.

Her slender, graceful finger traced the tall, anorexic trees in the dark, eerie forest of the colored work that had been named "A Fairytale Forest", which was anything but a lullaby for the soul. If anything the sight of it only induced a sense of horror; Kari would've be terrified if she lost herself in it.

Another photograph that ensnare her attention was the one that portrayed a broken, abandoned playground, but this one was colorless, a simple composition of black and white. It depicted demolished swings that could not be used anymore, accentuating the dreadful atmosphere of the playground perfectly.

It was the perfect reflection of her and her brother's childhood. Kari remembered clearly how she had played with her brother on a playground that was frost-bitten and snow-covered by the winter, on a lonely, desolate Sunday, one of the few days where they were allowed to spend outside and not at their aunt's home.

Kari remembered vividly the icy temperature after the snowfall in January and how quickly the fallen snow had melted and froze their hands. According to a classmate's prophecy, a snowman could grant a wish, so she and her brother had tried desperately to build a snowman, but it kept on falling apart. Yet, they kept on trying again and again and again, even though their bare, unprotected hands that screaming at them to stop, wound and reddened from the cold.

It had been so pointless, so hopeless- like everything they did. Maybe they had been cursed- were cursed.

They had been subjected to so much abuse that Kari was sure in the end the true core of their personality had changed beyond recognition- they had become a shadow, a caricature of what they should've have been.

Then suddenly the playground disappeared, and Kari found herself trapped in that Fairytale Forest, searching in blind panic for her brother until she unintentionally walked into the dirty, dark house – the home of the woman who had abused her and Tai for a decade in their childhood. Suddenly she was looming over Kari, a grotesque figure of fat, painted nails and a visage of venom, and Kari tried to scream, only to wake up in a silent scream of terror.

She was panting heavily, drenched in cold sweat that caused her shirt to stick uncomfortably to her skin. The book had fallen shut, laying beside her on the wrinkled blanket. The apartment was still empty, the lights switched on. Mimi hadn't come home yet; she probably out with her friends now.

She realized belatedly that she must have fallen asleep without realization, and slowly her heartbeats started to calm down. With a harsh exhale of breath, she combed a hand through her hair, raking it back.

That woman had come for her again.

She just wanted to just to satisfy her sick perversity by tormenting Kari, even after they were finally separated and Kari who knows how far away from her. Kari was so sick of it. She just wanted everything to be gone, that woman, her parents, her nightmares and including herself.

§-§

At the next morning, she got up earlier than usual, not having been able to sleep well, standing in front of her full body mirror, watching herself. Her own reflection: a girl with ordinary brunette hair and lackluster ruby eyes stared back at her. Dully, Kari adjusted the belt that secured her short jeans, then the shirt that was sleeveless and split into the colors of pink and white.

Today was a moderately warm day; the heavy rain clouds had made room for the sun, which was smiling at Sasakura city. However, the weather of this place could be unpredictable, fluctuating from warm to bitingly cold, and the other way around in the most unexpected times, so Kari stuffed a neatly folded, long gray cardigan into her bag just in case. Shouldering the bag, she paused for a moment before heading to the University, taking the train.

After her lecture, she headed to the library, seeking Yukimura out. First, she deposited her bag in one of the multiple lockers, then weaved her way through the corridors of the ventilated library. Yukimura was absent, nowhere to be seen; someone else was in charge of the service point today, a mid-aged, skinny woman with glasses and frizzy, wheat-colored hair to be exact.

Today, there was no queue at the service point, not a single student to be exact, which Kari didn't find surprising at all.

Kari was hit by a sense of disappointment, but instead of going home she decided to take a look in the Media Science section, changing her previous plans. She needed to distract herself and found an object that would help her mind to focus on something else. It turned out that the section was practically empty except for a handful of students that were writing their term papers in one of the many cozy niches that were equipped with long desks and chairs, especially designed for the purpose.

She spotted the book "The World behind Camera Lenses" in the highest shelf, attempted to get it but with her 5,4 feet it seemed to be an impossible task. In order to get it one had to be at least 5,57, so she raised on her tip-toes in an attempt to reach for the book.

"Come on," she mumbled under her breath.

"Just a bit more," she encouraged herself, even though her fingers didn't even manage to touch the back of the book. With her height, it seemed to be impossible, but she didn't give up. However, a foreign hand took the book out of the shelf on her behalf, ending the agony for her. Kari turned around to thank the person and her eyes widened when she saw who it was.

He was 5,83 feet tall.

Yukimura had taken the book from the shelf out for her and was flipping nonchalantly through the book without sparing her a glance.

"Thank you," Kari mumbled shyly.

"Hm...I wasn't aware you were interested in photography," he drawled with detached interest.

"Yes...it's a hobby of mine," she said reluctantly with a blush. "More a passion actually."

He snapped the book shut; if he had been in a good mood before he definitely wasn't in one anymore. "I see."

Then, he held it out to her, Kari accepted the book gratefully and repeated, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he responded and turned on his heels, but she stopped him before he could head to into the opposite direction.

"Yukimura-san!"

He halted and turned around slowly, walking to a nearby a birch-wood library cart, which was positioned at the end of the E3 shelf. Diligently, he began to sort and stack the large number of books loaded on it. His back was facing her.

The Art section was almost completely empty since at this time of the day most of them were still attending lectures. She walked slowly, hesitantly up to him.

"Is there something else you need, Yagami-san?" He inquired without glancing at her.

"I…," she began then swallowed dryly. "What do you think about my brother, Yukimura-san?"

He stopped in his tracks immediately, but decided to play it off coolly.

"What's up with that question?" He turned around and eyed her with an expression of irritation in his blue eyes.

She had hit a nerve with that question.

"I… just want to know," she trailed off.

He looked back on the books and sighed. "It doesn't matter what I think of him, does it?"

"It does!" She exclaimed, then bit her lip when she realized she had just shouted. "At least to me."

"Stop being such a busy-body. I need to work. Please, disturb someone else." There was a hard edge in his voice, which a smarter person would've ignored, but Kari chose to be ignorant to it.

"You must really hate my brother, Yukimura-san. He did that to you after all…ruined your career, but he is not a bad person." By now she had lost herself in her thoughts, talking more to herself than him- maybe she had just wanted to unload her burden on someone else, nothing else.

"Back then in our childhood...our aunt...she wasn't normal. She was psychologically disturbed and our parents knew, but still they left us in her care. They abandoned us. She did horrible things to us in their absence." Kari paused and forgot to breath as remembered how her aunt had beat a landscape of red wells upon Tai's back for disobeying her. And, how she had tried to suffocate Kari under a padded blanket...Kari's vision spun with vertigo as she suddenly felt sick.

"Our parents didn't care about us. They never did. My brother was the only one who took care of me, he always protected me and got hurt in my place. He intentionally drew our aunt's full attention on himself, so she wouldn't hurt me. My brother..is...he is someone really nice, don't you think?" Without realization a sad smile had made its way on Kari's lips, not noticing how hard and dark Yukimura's eyes had become.

"He was just a victim, too," she forced those words out. "He did that to you because he had been abused, not because he was a monster, and I'm sure that if you two had met under different circumstances, things would have been different...I'm sure you wouldn't have hated each other. No on contrary, I think you would've been able to get along very well. Even become close friends, you know? Because you two are very alike. You two love sports so much and-"

Before she knew what had happened, she had already been grabbed by the shoulders and flung viciously against the wall next to her. The force of the impact and Kari expelled cry of pain, looking up at Yukimura through blurred eyes.

"Shut up, you bitch. Why are you bringing this up now?! To torment me? How can you even suggest that I would've become close friends with your bastard brother under different circumstance? That fucking bastard ruined me!" Yukimura was yelling at her, his fingers digging hard into her shoulders with enough force to bruise, but she didn't register it.

Kari only lifted her head to look at him with sad, lovely eyes that seemed to see right through him and apologized on behalf of her brother, "I know. I'm sorry about your arm."

Yukimura saw red, swung her against the shelf that stood opposite the white wall, causing several books tumbled to the carpet.

Kari had no time left to react when two foreign hands sought and found her throat, choking her. He

restricted her air-supply by constricting her windpipe with the squeeze of his fingers, and her own hands grabbed at his wrists in blind panic, pulling at them first. It did nothing. Then, she changed her tactics and hit at them and his forearms but that did nothing as well, so in the end her fingers curled around his strong, wide wrist in resignation while she fought the disturbing sensation of having Yukimura's warm, and somewhat feminine hands wrapped tightly around her neck. Slowly black snowflakes began to dance in front of her vision as he lovingly leaned close to her and hissed into her ear, "I know, this is just some sick game to you, bitch."

Her skin tingled from their proximity but there was nothing she could've done to increase the distance between them, consequently deepened sense of helplessness as her glazed eyes strayed to the ceiling.

She made some choking noises before she managed choked out, "Yu-Yukimura-san, I can-t brea-"

"But you should know that it's not a game to me," he drawled coldly, which was the last straw.

"You-you're pathetic," she spat in a half-strangled whisper against all reason, her mind blanking in terror when she realized what she had done and saw how hard his eyes turned.

However, in the next moment, he let go of her, and she collapsed unceremoniously to the floor.

Her hand clutched her throat as she coughed hard in between the interval of rapid inhales and exhales of breaths. She hadn't expected him to react with such a violence; he had been always seemed so cold and unapproachable but she should've known better than to believe that facade. Beneath that cool, indifferent mask of his, lurked an inferno of intense rage and hatred.

And, now she could feel it all the more intensely as he stood above her, staring contemptuously at her.

"You really don't know when to shut up, don't you?" He drawled, but extended a hand to her to her shock. Kari felt a cold rush of terror and scooted back from him until she hit the wall behind her while still covering her throat protectively from him. However, he didn't care about her fear of him as he followed her impassively and reached down to grip her by her upper-arms, hoisting her roughly up against her will. When she swayed, he steadied her until she could stand on her own, then relinquished his grip on her. She stared warily at him, but he just met her stare with an undecipherable one of his own as they made eye-contact, which grew increasingly intense.

In the very same moment, an amused whistle of a nearby male student ripped through the air, snapping them both out of their trance.

"You two are letting hell loose, aren't you?" The bypassing male student teased them cockily with a wolfish grin, wearing a baseball jacket and red cap, clutching a thick college-block under his arm. He obviously believed that she had just indulged in an act of" intimacy and passion" with Yukimura in the publicity of the library, having misinterpreted the reason for their flustered faces, their fervid stares, and the few books scattered across the floor, while the reality had been a different one; Yukimura had assaulted her.

"And, here I thought that two students were fighting when I heard those loud noises. Who would've thought that you're in reality – having fun with each other," he teased them provocatively.

Then with a wink of his hand, the student retreated from their view to head to the exit, but didn't disappear without giving them a final "advice", which only grated on their nerves."Just be careful to not get caught!"

When he was finally gone, the tension diffused and Yukimura straightened his collar, then glanced at her coolly.

"Tomorrow at five. Meet me in front of the library," he instructed as if he hadn't just assaulted her, and she knew it wasn't a request.

She narrowed her eyes at him and hissed, wondering if he thought of her as stupid. "Why should I?"

He smirked with menace and answered smoothly, "Well, it's your choice whether you want to come or not, but don't you want to know the details of what your brother did to me? Or...Are you too scared to take a look at the real face of your brother?"

Kari pressed her lips into grim line as she pondered hard about what she should do when she suddenly had a flashback about the time when she had discovered some disturbing, crossed-out photos of Yukimura in her brother's room. She needed to disclose the mystery about them and agreed but not without hesitation, "...Fine."

He seemed satisfied. "It's deal then."

Yukimura held out his hand challengingly and Kari eyed his hand warily, before she extended her hand slowly as well and shook his, cementing her words into a promise

Then, he relinquished her hand, but the feel of his warm flesh on hers lingered like a foreboding messenger of bad news. Kari headed to the exit but was stopped by him he called her by her last name, "Yagami."

She halted and looked questioningly at him.

He smirked menacingly. "Thanks for the blow-job."

It took all of her not to snap and slap him so hard across the face that a red mark would bloom.

§-§

At the next day, Kari showed up in the front of the University library with dark circles under her ruby eyes, which indicated that she had not slept well. She was waiting for Yukimura, standing in the sun as students buzzed past her.

It was unexpectedly warm today.

The sun left warm spots on the exposed stretches of skin, which mainly included her left shoulder and her legs. She had wanted to go for longer pants, but it would've been suffocating in the train, which was more often than not crowded.

At five o'clock sharp, Yukimura Seiichi stepped out of the library and greeted at her with a contemptuous look and spiteful smirk upon spotting her, disclosing clearly what he thought of her.

Today, his outfit differed slightly; he was dressed in a blue-gray blazer with a white shirt made of a soft fabric and in place of the usual black pants, a pair of rolled pants in dark blue colors covered his legs. Gone were the semi-formal leather-shoes, substituted for a pair of white sneakers, and she guessed that they were kind of footwear he actually wore in his free time.

The change of his standard outfit was probably due the change of the weather and temperature; light colors would not attract the heat as much as dark ones.

Yukimura approached her and paused when he stood in front of her, taking his time to eye her from the top to the bottom with a dirty leer. Kari flushed, unable to hold his gaze and looked down, wondering if she was just imagining the lingering stare of his eyes at the exposed planes of her skin.

"Nice outfit," he remarked with a smug expression.

Despite the sharp heels of her Chuck boots that increased her height by one inch and she now reached the tip of his chin, she still felt small. Although she had promised herself not to show any weakness in front of him, she was faltering now, unable to even make eye-contact with him. He was deliberately making her uncomfortable, stripping of her of all her defenses until she stood bare and vulnerable in front of him. She felt exposed, naked even.

Yukimura put his hand on the small of her back as if to trap her against him, ignoring her flinch and gently steering her to the direction of the train station.

Taking her home.

But not to hers.

§-§

Stepping into someone else's apartment, their sanctuary was something that Kari was not necessary comfortable with; it always felt strange like a giddy kind of excitement laced with a good amount of discomfort. In Yukimura's case, the feeling was more intense than in the others, the thrill strong enough to make her skin tingle and not in the good way.

At first, Kari didn't even dare to enter his apartment until Yukimura told her in amusement, "Don't just stand at the doorstep and get in. There's no need to be shy."

Kari gathered her courage, remembering why she was here and why she had come with him in first place, finally daring to cross his door-step, enabling him to close the door behind her. At least, he didn't lock it.

Kari felt more like a trapped animal than a guest in his apartment, but tried to calm herself down by inspecting his home.

His bachelor style apartment was rather spacey for single young man but the lack of furniture probably contributed to the generous amount of space. The temperature inside his apartment was cooler than outside, very pleasant, and she attributed that fact to the location of the building. The walls were of his apartment were eggshell-colored, matching the bright ocher floor made of birch wood and the dark rosé curtains. In comparison to the residential community Kari shared with Mimi, this place was tidier than theirs but cold and uncomfortable because of all the space and sharp angles. It certainly lacked the warmth and coziness of their home that invited you to make yourself home and snuggle in wherever you wanted.

Yukimura's apartment lacked that factor; it was nice, clean and efficiently furnished but that was all.

A bed with chocolate-brown covers and pillows, which were both patterned with a flowery design stood at the end of the room, facing the windows with its frame. A small glass table kept the windows company and was used as a laydown area for a sleek, black laptop that was definitely Yukimura's style. Next to the bed stood a desk, matching the other pieces of furniture in terms of color and design, and blending in. A black ebony shelf with books and some decorative, pricey chess-pieces occupied the apartment's left side, along with a closet, where his clothes must've been kept. She imagined that they were all to be either folded neatly or hanged in a tidy manner unlike Mimi's closet. Near the shelf and the closet was the kitchenette along with a dinner table and chairs, which gave the impression as if they were waiting to be used. A black leather couch and a low, elegant green glass coffee-table was positioned a good distance away from the door.

"Give me your bag." He held out his hand as he lingered behind the door, shrugging off his gray converse shoulder-bag that matched his clothes rather well, and Kari shrugged off her bag, too. However, she hesitated before handling him her bag.

"Take a seat," he instructed her with a nod towards the black couch, and couldn't suppress a smirk when she seemed to be too afraid to move. When Kari finally did so, she moved docilely and sat down on the black leather couch, her hands unable to help but to fist on her lap.

"Something to drink?"

"No, thank you," she declined politely but stiffly.

He smirked. "Really not?"

"Really not."

"Not even some water?" He insisted.

"I'm fine. Thank you."

He finally nodded and said, "Fine, suit yourself."

Then, he changed the topic to one that wasn't as casual as he made it out to be. "I need a change of clothes. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. Go ahead, please," she replied again with that stiff politeness, which he obviously found terribly entertaining.

In a few strides, he reached his closet and pulled out a plain shirt, which was white and long-sleeved. Then, he wandered over to his bed, and simply discarded his blazer on the floor without a second thought, which Kari found a little odd. Why was he being so careless with his clothes?

However, his next action was what really threw her off guard.

He pulled his white shirt with buttoned collar-slit over his head, tousling his hair in the process, stripping right in front of her.

Kari flushed as she caught a glimpse of the exposed upper part of his body that was masculine, toned, and bigger than hers.

She took in the taut lines of strong muscles in his chest and back, along with the general bulkiness of his body, the bulkiness of a man's body.

Yukimura was slender but by no means scrawny.

He did that on purpose, she thought and the rhythm of her heart pulsed in her ears.

And, when he caught her staring at him, he cast her a smug smirk before he finally put on his white, long-sleeved home-shirt that covered the sight of his strong body.

He curled a finger and commanded her softly, "Come here."

When his piercing blue eyes fixated on her, she tensed up and intended to refuse, but he must've read her intent because his gaze hardened into a glare, intimidating her. It was if he had forced his will on her as she walked obediently over to him like a mindless puppet, whose strings were held by him. As she stood in front of him, he smiled reassuringly, luring her into a false sense of security.

She allowed him to enclose the distance between them in two, further steps, and was hit by the scent of his male cologne that smelled familiar to the brand Tai liked to use.

It unnerved her. When Yukimura arched his back to bend down to her, she reflexively turned her head to him and felt how his lips skimmed hers.

"Your idealism of your brother pisses me off."

Then, she found herself grabbed by the arm and flung around, onto the bed behind her, onto his bed. The realization caused her to panic but before she could get up, he climbed on the top of her and blocked her escape by barring his arms on either side of her heard.

"It was the only night I had ever stayed behind in the tennis-club by myself. Despite my position as the captain of Rikkaidai's Fuzoku's tennis team, I put myself in charge of putting the equipment back from the court, dismissing every member. I was in a good mood, an extremely good one. We had won an unofficial tournament against Hyoutei and Shitenhoji after all, so for once I wanted to spoil my team, including the first-years who were actually the ones in charge of that ask. I rushed the regulars to get home, including Sanada, my vice-captain, who offered to help me. I've always wondered what would've happened if I hadn't refused his offer." During the small pause he made, his haunting eyes became void, telling Kari that he was in a place far away, and it frightened her.

"I started to put the equipment back, first the big stuff, then the small. However, I got thirsty from it and took a gulp from my bottle, which I had left unsupervised on the court-bench." He laughed bitterly. "And, then my vision went black. I immediately blacked out. While I was unconscious, I didn't feel anything but...," he paused again as his breathing sped up, becoming irregular. "-by the time I woke again, my dominant arm was bend into the opposite direction of my body. I was literally in a world of pain. The pain was so great that I screamed until I thought I would never be able to speak again. I don't remember the details afterward anymore...I guess that the facility manager of the school must've heard me because I found myself taken to the hospital, where doctors sedated and operated me."

A maniac, menacing smirk twisted on his lips, his sinister blue eyes seeming to be alight with red fury as he gritted out, "They said, "I was lucky." They said that it was a miracle that my arm hadn't been damaged forever; the ruptured nerves and broken bones would heal after a certain period of time. I would even be able to continue working out and playing tennis as a hobby, but playing it on a professional level would be impossible for me from now on. Out of my reach. The hours of intensive training would put a too-great stain on it, so….they suggested it would be better to practice a kind of sport which required a balanced use of both arms."

The more Yukimura talked, the more he seemed to lose himself in the vortex of his memories, his madness, which terrified Kari. His pain, anger and malice was so strong she could feel it nicking at her skin.

"Of course, that was out of question. I had to play tennis no matter what. A ruined arm wasn't going to stop me, or so I thought, but it stopped me, of course. I had to give everything up, including my captainship. My dream was gone. Everything was gone."

His eyes hardened as he finished the retelling of the grotesque, traumatizing incident, and gripped her painfully hard by the shoulders. "And that was all your brother's fault! Two weeks later, the police found out that culprit who was stupid enough to leave a trail of evidence. You know how the story ended."

Kari breathed harder from the fear pooling and spreading in the pit of her stomach, her ruby eyes a reflection of her inner turmoil. Yes, she knew exactly how the story had ended.

It had been her brother, who had committed the crime and ruined Yukimura's arm.

Two weeks later, the police had traced the evidence back to Tai, paying a visit to their house for an interrogation, but Tai hadn't been there. He had been absent; on an air- plane to Germany because had been scouted by a soccer sponsor, who had offered him the chance to play in a professional league.

The police had missed their chance for an interrogation, so they had to wait until Tai arrived in the foreign continent so far away from Japan, before they could contact him.

However, they never did.

His air-plane had never made it.

The manufactures had made a blunder: they used cheap material for the air-plane, so it couldn't withstand the air pressure, and had been literally torn apart 1000 feet in the air, consumed by the flames when it crashed. Everyone died. There had not been a single survivor.

They had seen it the next day in the news.

And, Kari had cried until she thought she would die along with him.

"Why did he do that to me?" Yukimura demanded to know, his voice an icy drawl that snapped her out of her memory that benumbed her.

Kari only turned her head away, pressing her face into the floral-patterned, brown blanket, refusing to answer. Treading into this territory would bring too many memories back that hurt, but Yukimura didn't care as he grabbed her by the chin and wrenched her head back, forcing her to look at him.

"Answer me, bitch! Why did he do that to me?" He yelled at her, and Kari clenched her eyes shut, not wanting to comply.

"No," she whimpered. "I don't want to."

"I said answer me!" He barked angrily, the hand that was large enough to span her entire chin squeezed hard, fingers digging in with bruising force.

"Because he was jealous to you!" Kari finally cried out, involuntary disclosing the truth.

"Why would he be? You just said he was scouted by a soccer sponsor! Are you lying to me?!" He accused her softened his grip when he saw that she was willing to talk.

"My brother had an inferiority complex! He always compared himself to other guys and put them down, in order to feel better about himself. You were so successful back then, everyone admired and liked you, that was why he was really jealous of you," she forced out the words as if they were poisoned.

Understanding drew in Yukimura's blue eyes as he finally let go of her jaw to lose himself in the realization. "I see."

In that moment, Kari seized the opportunity to flee and tried to raise but he simply pushed her back down.

He chuckled bitterly. "So he ruined my arm out of jealously? For such a petty reason?" Then, his resignation changed into rage as he gritted venomously out,"That son of a bitch."

His words alarmed her; but she forced herself to breath as quietly as she could, not daring to draw his attention, which was, however, only a waste of time. He tilted his head down to stare at her, focusing his sole attention on her. She was trembling as he began to gently stroke her hazel-brown hair with his long, elegant fingers, occasionally brushing a stray strand away. "But I know you're different from him." he murmured absentmindedly. "You're one of those people who admire me, ...one of my fans."

His tender administration and his eerie intonation were beginning to scare her. "Yu-Yukimura-san?"

"Too bad that you're not him, but I guess that's alright." he muttered more to himself than her before dragging his hand lower from her hair to her throat, and she froze, trying to stabilize her breathing. His thumb grazed the base of her vulnerable throat before tracing mocking circles making how easy it would've been for to choke her again.

"'ll just have you instead of him," he finished and pressed his thumb against her throat, applying a discomforting pressure on her windpipe.

"No!" Kari screamed and shoved him off, succeeding because he let her out of surprise. However, she could not get far as he caught her arm from behind and pulled her back against him, locking his arms around her in a mockery of an embrace, clinching her from behind.

He dipped his head down to press his mouth against the exposed stretch of skin on her nape with the intent to make her skin crawl. "You can take his place," Yukimura breathed hotly against the back of her neck. "I'll make you mine. You can pay in place of him."

"No, I don't want to!" Kari screamed and slammed the back of her head against him, hitting the lower part of his face, forcing him to cry out and let her go. The impact had been hard, but the adrenaline prevented her from seeing stars, even though her head hurt.

Yukimura had been knocked off her and was now covering the lower part of his face, but through the gap of his fingers she could see a trail of blood running down his jawline. However, she didn't care. She didn't linger and seized the chance to scramble away, but he hadn't been as stunned as she had expected. He lunged for her and managed to snatch her ankle, yanking her back just as she was about to get off the bed, causing her to smash her face against the frame of the bed with a high-pitched scream.

"No, you don't!" He hissed, absolutely infuriated.

He dragged her back and knelt above her again, pinning her wrists down on either sides of her head, glaring at her with a fury that seemed to penetrate her.

The corner of his lip was cracked, split open.

"You fucking bitch," he growled at her. "You're going to regret that."

"Let me go!" Kari demanded as she twisted fearfully in his grip, but he was so much stronger than her, not even seeming to register that he was holding down.

"Stop pretending already. You want to be fucked by me, don't you? I bet that after your brother's death that it was all you could think about: a man's cock inside you."

Kari saw red, something snapped inside her as she lifted her knee and slammed it as hard as she could from her position against his groin, between his legs. Yukimura's eyes watered instantly, and his lower-lip quivered in a silent scream of pure, unadulterated agony, which he was incapable of crying out. He looked as if at the verge of vomiting, but at the same time he was gasping for air, hyperventilating temporary while clutching his bruised balls.

Inevitably he collapsed on the top of her, his hard, toned body slumping against her; Kari froze as he hyperventilated into the pillow, next to her ear, forcing herself to stay calm, even though his agony was terrifying her.

Careful to not to hurt him any further, she gripped his shoulders and pushed him off her as gently as she could, turning him on his back, knowing that it was pure luck he was fighting her. Then, she made a sprint for the door as if he was still capable of hurting her in his pitiful state and grabbed her abandoned bag, disappearing from his apartment while making a prayer.

She prayed that she would never have to see it again.

§-§

Five hours later...

Kari huddled under the security of her warm blanket, in her living community, which was empty; Mimi had informed her through a text message that was spending the night at a friend's place she hadn't seen in a long time.

So with nothing but shadows and the light from outside as company, Kari clutched the old soccer ball that belonged to her brother and with which they had played often as children. The ball was covered with dried dirt from the days when they had played on the grass fields soccer in the summer, the only season when they had a little piece of solace.

Her brother was a good guy. He had always protected her from their abusive aunt. Taken care of her when their parents hadn't.

Kari's dull ruby eyes stared at the empty space in front of her as she clutched the ball harder.

He would never hurt someone else out of spite, out of jealously like it had been the case with Yukimura Seiichi, the man who was supposed to dominate the professional league of tennis.

But what Yukimura had told her must've been the truth because everything fit together like a puzzle.

Tai's inferiority complex caused by their aunt's abuse. His need to put other guys down.

The photos of Yukimura standing on the court as the captain, which he must've secretly taken and crossed-out with black eddying, and hid in his desk-drawer that had been secured with a lock.

Her brother wasn't a bad guy.

Her brother wasn't a bad guy.

He hadn't destroyed Yukimura's career out of spite...

Kari repeated those thoughts like an obsessive mantra in her head as if they could change reality

§-§

Yukimura stood in front of the wash-basin mirror with the harsh, white fluorescent light cast across grim, angry features that made him look uncharacteristically ferocious. He was half-naked, only dressed in pair of black and blue boxers, his hands curled loosely into closed-fists at his sides.

The pain of his groin was long gone, had subsided already without any medical treatment, but his split-lip was still there, a stigma which that bitch had left on him. She had marked him, and he was furious.

It had been such a long time since he had felt such a pure, unadulterated anger. The only kind of emotion he had felt in the past three years was the kind of resentment towards that fucking bastard, which ate him up from the inside, leaving him hollow and embittered.

But she had stirred other feelings inside him, feelings that made him look forward to seeing her terrified face again.

"Kari Yagami," he said aloud, talking to his own reflection in the mirror with a ferocious, possessed smirk. "I'll make you pay in place of your brother. I will play the Game of Repentance with you."