Singed hair ... or how Thor ended up blowing up the kitchen

They really should have known something was going to happen when Thor took Mjolnir with him to the kitchen, or when they heard the shouts, or when they heard sparking appliances. Really, they should have gone and done something about it but the Avengers were having a day off and they figured, how bad could it get?

Bad question.

For once, and only once as his ego was already big enough to stop him getting through doorways and could explode at any moment, they thanked God that Tony had had the forethought to assign Dummy to kitchen duty. The robot was to do whatever he felt needed to be done to prevent an even bigger catastrophe than had already happened. The little robot was delighted to have a job and set about doing all he could to prevent kitchen disasters.

At first, however, he seemed to create more of its own that it stopped. Steve had tripped over him whilst holding coffee and split it everywhere causing Thor to slip when coming in and leave a Thor shaped, so very large, dent in the wall the other side of the room that Tony still hadn't gotten around to having fixed. Thankfully, both being either a supersoldier or basically a god, neither were harmed in the process and the spilled coffee was cleaned up before any more harm could be done.

Natasha and Clint had nearly maimed, beheaded or inflicted various other methods of damage or destruction on the robot when they hadn't seen him behind a counter and were surprised by him. Whilst they managed to avoid actually hitting the robot, knowing that Tony wouldn't be happy with them if they did, they almost hit the billionaire himself when he walked into the firing line of a last minute deflected knife. His hair has been slightly shorter on top than usual for a while and he sent glares to the assassins every time he came across them for weeks later.

Tony himself had narrowly avoided a nasty concussion when, in his sleep deprived state, he had tripped over the stationary robot which had been in plain view. It was by sheer luck alone that his head had missed the counter by mere inches and that he had only knocked his head slightly on the floor. He grumbled about the headache for hours, though, and gave Dummy wounded glances making the robot whir sadly if that was even possible for a robot.

Bruce had been the closest to destruction when it turned out that the Hulk found the noise of Dummy following Bruce around the kitchen in case he should need assistance exceedingly irritating. The doctor had retreated to his lab at a startling rate and hadn't emerged for many hours but there had been no roars or sounds of things breaking so everyone assumed that a hulk out had been avoided.

Considering Dummy's lack of help and more hinderance than anything else so far, for the Avengers to be saying that they were glad the robot was there meant that he must have redeemed himself. And redeem himself he had.

See, Thor was rather addicted to poptarts. It was an addiction that had started in New Mexico and one that he still had now. It could even be said that it had gotten worse since then as he had been back on Asgard and they didn't have anything of the sort so he craved them now more than ever.

He had been perfectly happy, initially, eating them as they were, straight out of the box. Then, one day, Tony decided that he was going to have one so he put it in the toaster. Thor had sat there in bemusement, watching and wondering why the Man of Iron had put a precious poptarts into the metal machine. Deciding he wasn't going to get his answer just sitting there, he asked as much and Tony, rather than reply, put one on for Thor as well.

Thor had been delighted by the warm poptart and had demanded another immediately. Tony had protested that he wasn't his servant, which Thor had readily agreed with, but made him another anyway before wandering off. Thor had then noticed the different cooking options on the packet and had been absorbed in reading them, wondering what other ways there were of consuming his delicious treat.

Up until today, however, someone had always been around to make Thor his poptarts so he had never had to figure out how to use a toaster on his own. Today though, all of the Avengers seemed busy relaxing and Thor didn't want to disturb the peace they finally had so he decided to make them for himself.

He got the packet out of the cupboard and followed what he had seen other people do when they made them. He sat down to wait but after the allotted time, nothing happened. Thor waited a while longer but when nothing happened,he started to get enraged. How dare this metal contraption not release his poptarts. Why was it holding them to ransom?

Try as he might, Thor couldn't work out how to get them out so he did the next best thing in his mind, he summoned Mjolnir, which he had brought to the kitchen with him for some inexplicable reason, and smashed the metal contraption to pieces. Unfortunately, that also meant smashing his precious poptarts to pieces, something he only found out after he did so.

Not dishearted, however, Thor decided to try the microwave.

The next thing the other Avengers knew, there was a loud voice shouting and, they assumed, cursing rather loudly however it was in a language that not even the spies knew between them which meant, chances were, it was some language from Asgard. There was also a rather large explosion, the magnitude ranking with those Bruce and Tony managed to create in the lab, and fire alarms going off.

They all grabbed the nearest thing to the that could be considered a weapon. Steve grabbed his shield that had been under his chair for some reason, Bruce just took off his glasses knowing he didn't need to be armed, the spies drew various weapons from about their person, more than any of the others knew it was possible to conceal, until they were armed to the teeth and Tony picked up a mean looking candlestick. At odd looks from the others, he shrugged. He could always get JARVIS to send the suit to him if necessary anyway but JARVIS hadn't warned them of any enemies in the building so he figured he was safe enough.

He also really didn't want to admit that he had kind of been scared and forgotten about his suit so grabbed what he considered the next best thing on impulse. It would be kind of weird if an Avenger was known to arm themselves with a candlestick to face a possible enemy. He could only think of the ridicule and the nicknames he would get. What he didn't know was his facial expressions had given it away and he was in for the ridicule later after they had dealt with whatever was going on in the kitchen.

Rapidly, but quietly, they made their way to the kitchen but none of them had been prepared for what confronted them.

The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it. There was pieces of metal and appliance everywhere, smouldered wooden cabinets and some splattered red liquid everywhere. Everyone looked worried at that and thought that it may be blood. Tony, however, got closer to it, sniffed it and then proceeded to taste a little bit.

"God, really Stark?!" Natasha exclaimed. "That could be anything and the first thing you do is smell it and then taste it? Are you an idiot? Actually don't answer that."

"But it's strawberry jam," Stark said as the others just rolled their eyes and ignored the billionaire.

It was then that they noticed the foam from the fire extinguisher all over the room and what looked like a large statue covered in foam until it began to move. From under the foam mountain, Thor began to emerge and, though his face was now clear of foam, the rest of his head was completely covered. Dummy emerged from behind the counter looking pleased with himself, if that was possible for a robot, and wielding an empty fire extinguisher.

"What happened Thor?" Steve asked, in full Captain mode, assessing the damage and any danger.

"I was preparing myself a snack of the delicious poptarts when the metal contraption you call a toaster refused to relinquish my poptarts so I showed it the wrath of the son of Odin with Mjolnir but my poptarts didn't survive." Thor sounded very dramatic through the whole thing.

"I then decided to use the microwave instead." There was a collective wince at that, knowing it hadn't gone well and dreading what he could have done. "I read on the packet that the jam of strawberries went well with it so I found a jar in the cupboard and put it in the microwave as well as the box of my poptarts. I pressed the button labelled start and then it exploded. Everything was on fire and then your little robot friend helped my by putting out the fire. I do apologise Man of Iron. It appears I have yet to get used to Midgardian technology." Thor concluded with a sad look towards the poptart splattered, singed walls and the general destruction he had unwittingly caused.

The other Avengers were rather in awe at the sheer amount of damage Thor had managed to cause just in the quest for his poptarts. The kitchen wasn't salvageable really and Tony realised he would be better off ripping everything out and starting again.

Natasha was the first one to notice something else though. She could see what looked like the charred remains of blonde hair on the floor and quickly pushed the Thunder God over to the kitchen sink which was relatively unharmed all things considered. She pushed his head back into the sink and started to wash away the foam, dirt and mess.

The sight that greeted them underneath was one that shocked them all. Thor's usually long golden locks were singed and burnt and now finished at the length Natasha's had been when they had first met, although it was longer now, and was even shorter in some parts.

Thor looked confused at the attention so Natasha wordlessly handed him a mirror she had produced from goodness knows where. Thor's abject horror at the loss of the majority of the length of his hair was almost too much for Tony and Clint and they had to turn away slightly to hide their laughter, earning them a disapproving look from Steve who seemed to have a much better control over himself.

Natasha ushered him out of the kitchen and to the bathroom on her floor where she had some hairdressers scissors and other tools. She had been cutting Clint's hair since she went undercover as a hairdresser several years back so she knew what she was doing. The other Avengers found themselves waiting in her room outside her bathroom to see Thor emerge.

It was going on for half an hour later when he finally did and the others had nearly fallen asleep at that point. They were shocked once again at what they saw when he did emerge. Thor looked sheepish and embarrassed as he ran a hand through his significantly shorter and spiked hair, much like the length of that of the other Avengers.

Natasha must have been able to convince him that it would look better like that as there was a lot of hair on her floor but then again it had been a mess of burnt strands before so it looked better now.

Natasha had been right though, as Thor looked much better with his hair like that than the mid length it would have been. It made him look younger than before, they decided, as they clapped him on the back and left Natasha's suite.

Thor hesitated on his way to leave, still unconsciously running his hands though his short hair.

"Are you sure it looks alright Lady Natasha?" he asked.

"It looks great Thor," she replied. "I think you made the right decision to just have it shorter."

He smiled at that, a little more confident than before, and left her suite. Now she just had to clear up all the hair that was all over her bathroom floor.

Thor was banned from using any appliances in the kitchen from then on.


I imagine Thor's short hair to be like Chris Hemsworth's short hair. I liked the idea of Natasha picking up other skills on jobs so I may write another story about that in the future. No Thor/Natasha relationship, just a friend helping a friend. The next chapters wont be as long as this one but I hope you still keep reading! Please!

I don't know if anyone saw it but there was a little sneak peek of this story on Instagram. My username is musicgirl_x. There may be more little sneak peeks in the future if you want to follow me.

Unbeta'd so I hope there isn't too many mistakes.