Dear Jordan,

I lied when I said I never considered breaking up with you. I have but I never once wanted to leave you or have you leave me. The night we broke up I could feel that you were slowly moving away from me. I could see that you lost interest in me. The past three days I was miserable. You didn't seem to care anymore and the more I tried to get closer and be near you, you pushed me away and I got mad trying to hide the fact that I knew your love was gone. I told you this and you told me that you did start losing interest in me. I felt my heart breaking. Because you see, I never wanted to lose you. I tried so hard to make you fall in love with me and it just never worked. How could I make someone fall in love with me again? And I told myself that it didn't hurt me, just like it doesn't hurt me now. You called me in the morning the next day, I hoped, I wished that you had regretted it, that you loved me so much now than you had admitted. I was crushed again. I love you so much it hurts to even hear your voice. I saw you at school. You came to talk to me and I felt so odd sitting there next to you, wanting so much to hold you and feel your love like it use to be. I made myself emotional, talking about it because I couldn't believe it was real. I left you sitting at the bench in a huff saying these words "I hope you find a girl to love who won't break your heart". I cried inside wishing the twisting, agonizing feeling inside didn't hurt so much. Then that night I missed you so much that I wanted to call you, I just couldn't, I knew I shouldn't and I didn't. It's so hard now trying not to call you and tell you how much I love you and miss you and I feel terrible. Days have been passing by and with each day I feel different. I'm okay one day thinking I can move on from here, and another day I'll see you and wish you could look at me with longing like I know it would be mirroring through mine. Do you remember the day we went to Alum rock park? It felt like everything was going back to normal. It felt right. But I knew I was falling in love with you more than the last, so I stopped myself. While you guys left to McDonald's Jessica, Charlie and I planned to go sleep over his house. You txted Charlie and asked where I was and Charlie lied because he knew how you felt about me. You txted him these angry words, "Fuck you man" as if you were jealous and for some reason I was so shocked and yet I hoped again. Hoped so much that the feelings you still had were there. When we drove back to my house you looked relieved. And that made me happy. Funny how much more I overanalyze things now. A single smile from you and I swear I can do anything. What does it mean, nothing I suppose. Then the day we went to David's then Sam's house you took care of me. Carrying me into the bed and when you thought I was asleep you brushed my hair from my face. Sweet Jesus, I was hooked onto you again. I hugged you only for a second but it felt so right. To be able to mold my body to yours and breathe you in. Norman tells me that you're just being sweet, and so does Jessica. I know that you are, but now I feel more lost then ever. To be love and be loved in return is said to be one of the greatest treasures of life. No one ever talked about what would happen when it isn't reciprocated. Bubby,…Jordan, love please come back to me. I love you.