Kuzen clutched his child tightly as he watched his home burn. It was his last revolt against V, however insignificant a gesture it was. They had been paying for it after all. Ukina was dead. He had been forced to… she was gone now. V had found out about her and her intent - an intent that he hadn't known about, but in the end he didn't care. Her job may have been a lie, but… she had loved him. There wasn't much he had known in his life, but that was the one thing he was certain of. And that love had been stolen from him.
He felt tears threaten to leak from his eyes and he shut his lids tightly, letting out a shaky exhale. He then looked down to his child. They won't take you from me, though.
They would disappear. It would be written off by V as a suicide by fire. Kuzen had killed a ghoul and used its body as a substitute for his own. It had been a ghoul much like himself; violent and foolish. It was the last time, however. The last time Kuzen would kill for greed. Because, by tomorrow, Kuzen would be a burnt-up corpse in the ashes of a forgotten home.
His child made a sound, shifting his attention from the roaring flames to the infant he cradled in his arms. Her own small appendages reached towards his face, grasping air, as if she were trying to grasp his face, green eyes locking with his own. Letting a single tear escape his right eye and smiling, Kuzen placed his finger into the grasp of his child, who squeezed it tightly, as her father carried her off into the concrete jungle of Tokyo.
(24 years later)
"Early this morning, several unidentified male bodies were discovered in the Aqua Building. A commercial facility in Tokyo's 20th ward. The saliva retrieved from the bodies of the victims is believed to be that of a Ghoul. The incident is currently under investigation by the Commission of Counter Ghoul."
"Damn… The Aqua building isn't that far from here, huh?" Kaneki heard Hide mumble as the former read his book, "Have you ever seen a Ghoul, Kaneki? I bet you'd be eaten up in a second, since all you do is read those weird books all day."
At that, Kaneki meekly looked up from his novel. "Th - they're not weird. Maybe you should expose yourself to more good writing, Hide."
Hide sighed at that and set his head on the table. "No way, man. Books aren't for me. I don't know how you can read those things all the time."
Kaneki sighed and took a sip from his coffee. "But, to answer your question; no, I've never seen a Ghoul before. Sometimes I wonder if they really even exist, it sounds like a dark fantasy, doesn't it? Monsters who eat people?" he mumbled the last bit.
"'Course they do," Hide answered him, head still on the table. "They say Ghouls hide among humans, disguised as people. I bet you they're all around us and we'd never even realize it," he paused for a moment, then smirked. "Wait a minute, Kaneki! I bet you're a Ghoul!"
Kaneki smirked a little at his friends joke as he reached into his book bag and pulled out a loose piece of notebook paper. "If that were true, then I think you'd be very dead, Hide." He said as he began scribbling on the notebook paper. "But, even if they pass as human-shaped, they probably really look like this, right?" as he began to finish up his doodle and held up a loose sketch of a monster with an open maw.
Hide smirked and then took the piece of paper from Kaneki, flipped it over, and doodled his own interpretation of a Ghoul onto it. "Here's my Idea," he said as he showed Kaneki a poorly done portrait of the latter.
"Hey!" Kaneki said in protest.
Setting the piece of paper down, Hide said, "Anyway, Kaneki, enough about Ghouls." Throwing his thumb over his shoulder at a waitress with short, raven colored hair that fell over one of her eyes he asked, "Is that her? The cute girl you've been talking about so much?"
Kaneki, looking pale at his friend's lack discretion, answered with a shaky tone, "N-no, she works here. I was talking about a customer." Upon looking at her closer, however, Kaneki mentally commented; She is pretty cute, though.
Suddenly, Hide flamboyantly began to wave his arm about, trying to get her attention. "Excuse me!" he called to her, prompting her to venture towards the two college students.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Can you take our order? I'll have one cappuccino and… what about you, Kaneki?"
Kaneki, embarrassed by Hide's loudness shrank in his seat and replied, "I-I'm fine. I just got my cup…"
The waitress began to write down the order on a notepad but paused as Hide once again started talking to her. "And, uh, can I ask your name?"
She looked at him, uneasiness evident in her eyes. "It's Touka. Touka Kirishima."
Hide then took the hand that had the pen in it and said, "Miss Kirishima, do you have a boyfriend?"
The waitress, Touka, apparently flustered from the experience retreated with Hide's order. "N-No… I don't!"
As Hide watched her make her way behind the counter he mumbled to himself, "She's so cute."
"Hide!" Kaneki said from behind him, "What the hell are you doing!? This café is the only connection I have to that girl, what will I do if you get us banned!?"
"Oh," Hide bowed quickly to Kaneki, "I'm sorry." He then watched as Kaneki's face shifted from angry to awestruck as the door chime rang out and he looked over his shoulder. "Huh? what's wrong, Kaneki?" Hide asked as he watched his friend bury his face in his book.
"behind me," Kaneki murmured digging his face into his book, "That's her."
Hide started to look past Kaneki when an absolutely gorgeous woman walked passed, catching his attention all the way up to the point she sat down. He then turned toward Kaneki and grasped his shoulders firmly. "Kaneki, dude. I'm telling you this as a friend. Give. Up."
"Huh?!" Kaneki asked, feeling the hope drain out of him. Even Hide thinks I don't have a chance?!
"She's way to hot for you dude," Hide explained simply as he looked out the window at the people walking down the sidewalk.
Kaneki sighed, "Y-yeah, I realize that… But, honestly, it makes me happy seeing her. Sometimes, she even smiles at me."
Hide chuckled. "Kaneki, stop it, you're being weird." Kaneki cringed a little. Hide was kind of right.
A moment later, that waitress showed up again and handed Hide his order to which Hide made a lame joke and paid. "Anyway, I got to see the girl you were talking about, but I gotta go, or I'll be late for class. Good luck with her, dreamer boy!"
As Hide exited the coffee shop and it subsequently began to quiet down, Kaneki reopened his book and began to continue reading. His brain soon stopped registering the words, however, as he shifted his gaze from the pages to the purple beauty that sat across from him. Obviously, she's gorgeous, Kaneki mentally noted, but there's a different reason I'm attracted to her. His eyes then shifted down towards the book in her hands. It was the same one he had in his very own. She reads Sen Takatsuki – an author I admire. I wonder what she thinks of the way Takatsuki describes the protagonist's descent into madness as he begins to realize the impulses he shares with his serial killer mother?
Then, she stood up, placing her book in her bag, shouldering it, and headed Kaneki's way, staring past him. Kaneki felt his throat hitch as he realized that he was still staring at her and quickly shifted his eyes back to his book, pretending to read. As he looked blankly at the pages of the book, lips turned into a think white line, her hand connected with the edge of his novel, causing it to fall to the floor.
"Ah! I'm so sorry!" she yelped as she knelt down to pick the novel up but paused after she read the title. She then looked up at Kaneki, with a pleasant smile on her face. "The Black Goat's Egg?" she asked, "Good isn't it? I'm reading it right now, myself… Are you a fan of Takatsuki?"
Kaneki couldn't believe what was happening. She was actually talking to him! What should he do? Wait, what did she just ask? Was he a fan of Takatsuki? Of course, he was! Say something, you idiot! "Y-yes! I love Sen Takatsuki!" he blurted out, almost as loud as Hide.
Her eyes widened as he excitedly yelled it at her, causing Kaneki to blush in embarrassment and lower his tone. "I uh…" he paused, "I like mysteries."
The smile returned to her face, "Oh, me too."
(-)
The conversation had progressed from there and, much to Hide's disbelief, Kaneki had gotten a date with her. Not to mention, at a bookstore, an idea that Kaneki had once revealed to Hide, who had laughed in his face about it. Needless to say, Hide had been in disbelief, the only thing he could say had been "Well, I guess sometimes you get lucky."
For the next few days, Kaneki had been fretting over what he should wear, conversation topics, and what places she may like to eat at. Kaneki had never been on a date before, so he had no idea what to do. However, it hadn't been all that hard he soon discovered; Rize had been easy enough to please, going along with whatever, he suggested, and they had quite a lot to talk about. Soon though, Kaneki's dream date was coming to an end and now, he was walking the girl of his dreams home.
"… You're blood type is AB?" Kaneki asked surprised, not quite knowing how the conversation had gotten to this, but not questioning it. "Mine too!"
"What a coincidence…" Rize commented, a small smile on her face. "Our taste in literature is the same and so is our age. We have so much in common."
Kaneki smiled back at her as they continued on their way, passing a pair of high school girls heading their direction. Kaneki swore one of the two had looked familiar, but he was busy focusing on other things. Much larger things.
The pair continued to walk until they made their way to a fork in the road. I guess this is where we part ways… Kaneki thought, disappointed. "Thank you for today."
"No, thank you! I had fun!" Rize replied.
A comfortable silence settled between them.
"Well, I live this way so…" Kaneki spoke up reluctantly, not really wanting to end the date.
At that, Rize began to look nervous, balling her fist tightly and placing it to her chin. "Actually, I live past the Aqua Building. Where the recent ghoul attack took place. I'm sorry to ask but… can you accompany me? It's been bothering me so much that I can barely sleep at night."
"O-of course," Kaneki replied, with a reassuring smile.
"Really?" she asked, a hopeful look on her face.
"Yeah, I'll take you home!"
And so, Kaneki accompanied Rize on her walk home, as they swapped stories of their past, including an incident involving Hide and some bottle rockets. Eventually, the couple made it to a construction site, where Rize abruptly stopped and grabbed Kaneki's arm, pressing it against herself.
Naturally, Kaneki went beat red as he looked towards her, "R-Rize?"
"It's strange, isn't it?" she said, looking towards him, "That what started you and me walking together on this date was the work of Sen Takatsuki? It's kind of amazing…"
Suddenly, Rize pressed herself against him, nuzzling her head into his chest. His heart began to beat fast, and he felt a rush of adrenaline as he looked at her and she looked up at him with those big, pretty eyes. Oh my god! Oh my god, is this actually happening?!
"Ken," she said, looking up at him, "The truth is, that I've noticed the way you've been looking at me…"
Suddenly, Kaneki felt embarrassed as he recalled how many times he'd watched her when she was reading in the coffee shop. He realized how weird it was of him, but she was just so pretty that it was hard to look away. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around him and began to whisper into his ear.
"The truth is," she began softly, then quickly sank her teeth into the crook of Kaneki's neck, "I've been watching you too!"
Kaneki felt his muscle and skin being ripped from his body as Rize pulled her head away from him, taking a chunk of him with her and letting him fall back on to the ground, clutching his gushing neck. She- she bit me!? Was all he could think of as he looked up at her from the floor, to see her giggling cutely at him. Then, he noticed her eyes all black and red, as she looked down at him with a hunger in them. Those eyes!
"Oh no, are you alright?" she asked in between insane giggles. "Hey, Ken… There's a scene in The Black Goat's egg that I really like," she started as she began to clutch her face, her eye's showing from in between her fingers. "It's the scene the scene where The Black Goat rips out the entrails of a man trying to run away! And no matter how many times I read that part, it always gets me so excited!" she said as she licked his blood from around her mouth. "You understand don't you, Kaneki? That I am a Ghoul?!"
Kaneki suddenly found his legs and spun around, rising to his feet and taking off down the side walk. What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? What did she say!? A GHOUL!?
Suddenly, he felt something wrap around his ankle, trip him up, and drag him back towards her. Kaneki looked back to see Rize now had some kind of appendages emerging from her back, moving about like scaly tentacles.
"Got ya!" she said, in a sing song voice. "Say, Ken, do you know how it feels to have a Ghoul's Kagune move around in your stomach, scrambling up your insides? Just relax and I'll show you!"
Instinctively, Kaneki grabbed a pen that had fallen from his pocket and onto the floor, and tried stabbing Rize with it, aiming for her eye, to which she quickly used the tentacle she had caught him with to block it.
Taking advantage of the situation, Kaneki took off, trying once again, desperately, to escape. However, it wasn't long before he felt a sharp pain as the right side of his abdomen was ripped through by one of the tentacles and the college student felt his legs fall out from underneath him.
Suddenly, he was being flung through the air, into the concrete barrier blocking off the construction site, where he slumped against it, feeling the life fade from his body. Oddly enough, he felt calm. He wasn't scared, or worried, he just felt the throbbing in his abdomen and his eyelids grow heavy as they slowly closed. Rize was saying something about him looking tasty, when he heard a loud crash. He tried to see what had happened, but he couldn't stay conscious any longer. He passed out.
(Some Weeks Later)
As the midday sun pierced through his window, Ken laid back on his mattress as he continued to read The Black Goats Egg. It had been a week since Kaneki's release from the hospital and he still hadn't told a soul about the true nature of how he'd ended up in that condition. He hadn't told anyone Rize was a Ghoul. Surprisingly, the topic had never come up; he had simply awoken in Kanou General attached to an I.V. drip. Overall, he had made more or less a complete recovery.
However, there was still one small thing that was bugging him. His sense of taste had been off. It had not left him, but it had altered. At first, he thought it had just been the hospital food, but upon doing a little research Kaneki had discovered that most of the reviews on the hospital sight had found the food delicious, at least in comparison to other hospitals. Kaneki had begun to wonder if he was just a picky eater.
Eventually he voiced his concerns to doctor Kanou – the hospitals namesake himself and the very dotor who had operated on him. He had surmised that the trauma and shock was responsible for Kaneki's change in taste and that it would eventually return to normal. So, Kaneki waited eagerly for that day to come. However, he was surprised to find he was beginning to lose his appetite entirely. He went entire days without even thinking of food, and the sight of it even made him a little sick.
Then, a small vibration on the edge of his mattress caught his attention, prompting him to shift his gaze from the novel. It was a text from Hide inviting him out to go eat at Big Girl. Kaneki's stomach lurched at the thought and for a moment that scared him. He used to love to eat at Big Girl with Hide – it was an American style restaurant that served delicious hamburger steak and not to mention had a lot of pretty waitresses too. Truthfully, Kaneki wished he could say no, but considering that he hadn't seen Hide once since he'd woken up in the hospital and it would be rude to blow him off, he figured he could bare it. I'll just have to take small bites.
(-)
Kaneki eventually made his way to Big Girl, where he found Hide waiting outside on a public bench. The orange haired boy greeted him loudly to which Kaneki responded with a meek wave. The two made their way inside and got situated at a window seat and ordered.
"Took you long enough," Hide commented as they waited for their dishes.
Kaneki smiled apologetically, "Sorry, I – I'm still not feeling all that great."
"Nah, it's fine," Hide reassured Kaneki, "I was just worried you got lost or something. Or Maybe a Ghoul got you on the way here!" Hide teased.
Kaneki paled a bit at that. Ghouls had been something of a hobby for Hide as of late. He guessed it was because of the incident at the Aqua Building all those weeks ago. For Kaneki, however, Ghouls were something he would rather not talk about at the moment. The mere mentioning of them made him recall the feeling of having his flesh ripped into.
"Anyway," Hide changed the subject, "Your doctor took a lot of flak, didn't he? That was all they were talking about over the news, radio, podcasts, or whatever!"
"Yeah, they said it was a problem performing a transplant without the consent of the hospital board or the bereaved family."
"But, that girl didn't have any family, did she? And from what I read, it seems she was dead on impact…" Hide trailed off, remembering who exactly he was talking to. "Oh, sorry."
"No," Kaneki said, "It's fine." It still felt odd to him… Knowing that he had another person's organs inside of him. His own had been damaged beyond repair, and so they had to transfer Rize's some of organs into him. He… didn't know how he felt about that. On one hand, it sometimes made him feel nauseas knowing that dead person's organs were inside of him; but on the other he figured he should be happy to be alive, right?"
Hide paused for a moment, then quickly changed the subject. "So, you know that Nishitani guy in your department at school? Well, I saw his girlfriend today and she looks exactly like that pro wrestler…"
Hide's voice began to fade into the background as Kaneki began to scan the room, seeing if their order was on its way. In fact, it was, the same waitress as before was exiting from the back, holding two plates of hamburger stake. However, it wasn't because of the steak that Kaneki's mouth began to water. It was… It was her legs.
The way her thighs bulged slightly over her thigh high socks and her pale skin reflected the ceiling lights. The way her thighs rubbed together ever so slightly as she made her way towards them. Kaneki hadn't even realized it but, droll had begun to form on the edge of his mouth.
"Hey, Kaneki!" Hide called to him, snapping him out of it. "You're totally ignoring my interesting story here!"
"N-no…" Kaneki replied, "I was listening. You got a girlfriend that looks like a pro wrestler. Congrats, Hide."
"Ha ha," Hide commented, sarcastically.
Then, the waitress appeared again, placing their orders on the table and thanking them for their patronage. She set Kaneki's plate in front of him and he began to feel cold sweat forming on his body. Uneasily, he took a pair of chopsticks and picked at the meat, taking the tiniest bit he could while still taking enough to chew and dipping it into the side sauce that came with the dish. With shaking hands, he put the hamburger into his mouth and began to chew.
Almost immediately, a rush of disgusting flavors assaulted his taste buds. It tastes just like raw pig intestines! He thought as he felt the contents of his stomach rumble up his esophagus and he threw up all over the table.
"Kaneki?!" Hide exclaimed with a bit of disgust in his voice, "What's wrong, man!?"
Kaneki sat there, hunched over for a bit, as he breathed heavily, hanging his head over the plate as saliva and bile dripped from out of his mouth. He then grabbed his water and took a large drink of it, hoping to wash it down and get the taste out of his mouth.
Then, embarrassment overtook him as he realized what he'd just done. He'd just vomited all over his food in public. His face turned red and he kept his gaze on his hands. "I-I'm sorry, Hide," he apologized, mumbling to himself as he pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table and stood up from his seat. "I'm gonna go home, I'm not feeling very well."
(-)
Kaneki didn't go home immediately after that, however. Instead he wandered around the neighborhood, silently observing people, seeing if he could recreate what he had felt when he had been staring at that waitresses' legs. Of course, the idea had crossed his mind – that when he had received Rize's organs, that… maybe he was beginning to inherit her appetite as well. However, as he continued to observe the people around him, no such… feelings resurfaced, and he began to feel a little better. In Kafka's most famous novel, the plot is about a young man who begins to turn into an insect. He begins to develop a taste for rotten cheese and garbage. I wonder, is the same thing happening to me? Of course not, he thought as he sat down on a nearby park bench, that's impossible… right?
Suddenly, a kick ball rolled to a halt at his feet, prompting Kaneki to shift his attention to it. Absent mindedly, he picked it up and began to examine it. Not long after, a young girl made her way up to him.
"Ah, is this your ball?" he asked, handing it to her.
She smiled happily at him and grabbed the ball, "Yep! Thanks, mister!"
Kaneki smiled for a moment, until an absolutely incredible scent assaulted his nostrils, causing him to begin to salivate. He looked around for a moment, trying to identify where it was coming from until he soon realized that it was coming from the little girl before him. Disgusted at himself, Kaneki stood up quickly and began to put some distance between himself and the girl. No, no, no, no, no, he repeated to himself as he escaped the tantalizing scent. It wasn't coming from her! It was probably the scent of a nearby restaurant that the wind had carried over! That's all!
Eventually, He found himself in front of a bookstore he frequented often. He didn't even realize it until he was right at the entrance. He truly did like that like that book store. he'd gone to it ever since he was a boy.
In front of the library, was a sign that read. Sen Takatsuki book signing, October 27th! Kaneki looked at the sign and for a moment, all his worries went away. M – maybe going to that book signing will be a good change of pace?
(The Next Day, October 27th)
Eto rushed down the sidewalks of the twentieth ward in a hurry, her hair a tangled messy flapping behind her. She was in deep trouble, that much she knew. Shiono was going to be so furious with her. "Late, late, so very late," she muttered to herself as she transitioned from a run to a brisk walk, awkwardly keeping her head down as she passed by the lengthy line of fans that had formed, waiting for her.
Lifting her head as she rounded the room divider, she spotted Shiono there, arms crossed staring down at her with a scolding look in his eyes. Eto smiled nervously and giggled a little at him. "Am – am I safe, coach?"
Shiono continued to stare at her, annoyed, before he sighed and walked past her, "You're out entirely," he scolded before announcing to her fans that the book signing was starting, followed by the excited murmurs from behind the room divider.
Seating herself behind her desk, Eto sighed, smoothing out her dark blue dress and fixing her tangled green locks as best she could sans a brush. She hadn't meant to be late, really, but she couldn't help it. I have always been a night – she cut the thought short with an annoyed look on her face as she thought better of that analogy. In any case, I've always been hard to get up. I even slept through all my alarms this morning, how embarrassing.
The shape of a heavy-set woman then caught her eye, prompting her to shift into a more sociable, awake mood. "Ah, hello there! What book do you have there? Oh, Dear Kafka! How fitting you were first in line then!"
The woman smiled awkwardly at her and nervously stuttered a reply out. She was used to this response. Lots of her fans, it seemed, were the shy, timid type. Of course, the occasional outgoing person would appear, and it was always a refreshing sight, typically however, her fans were reserved people. It made her happy, though - to know they took solace in her writing.
The rest of the signing went by relatively quickly and smoothly though, much to her delight. Though it was a little disheartening. She remembered her signings being much lengthier, even to the point that she grew frustrated with the amount of people who came to get their copies signed. Eto was, by nature, a lazy person after all. One would only need to see her apartment to be able to tell. Oh, it was so messy - bowls with left over dried ramen broth littered her desk at her computer and empty water bottles dotted the floor. Dad would be so mad if he ever came over… she thought absentmindedly as she handed a signed copy of Salt and Opium to another fan, who excitedly left with book in hand.
Shiono then appeared from behind her. "That was all of them, Takatsuki."
"Oh really?" she sighed, "That's a shame. I guess people just don't read as much as they used to."
"Yes," Shiono sighed, "It really is."
"Well, you can go ahead and leave, Shiono. I want to see all of the books that have for sale here!"
Eto began to collect herself when she heard the chime of the door to the book store opening, followed by a disappointed sounding voice. "Oh, I must have missed her…"
Eto looked to Shiono expectantly as the man straightened his tie, before walking out from behind the massive room divider. "Actually, young man, you just barely made it."
A moment later, a rather plain looking, college aged boy emerged, holding a book tightly to himself and pausing for a moment when he saw Eto. The look on his face made the author smile and she tilted her head, waving her hand in a friendly motion at him.
When he moved to her desk, she got a better look at him. He looked quite pale. Unnaturally so. He also had slight bags under his eye's and his clothes seemed a little baggy on him.
The boy lifted the left side of his mouth up a little nervously and extended his arms out towards her, holding a copy of The Black Goats Egg. She'd seen a lot of that book today, which made sense considering it was her most recent release and the reviews had been stellar. "Oh? A follower, I see," she spoke, making conversation.
The boy nodded nervously. "I've been following your work since I read Dear Kafka."
She smiled at him. "And who should I make this out to?"
"Ah, it's Ken Kaneki. It's like Friday's 'Kane' and Thurday's 'ki'." He explained, politely and nervously
"For… Ken… Kane… ki!" she said, speaking each word as she wrote it down, "Hmm, wasn't Dazai Osamu born in 'Kaneki Town'?"
"Now that you mention it… He was," Kaneki affirmed her, and she saw a small smile form on his face.
"Heh~" Eto giggled, "What a coincidence!" she then slid the book back to him and grasped the top of his hand gently as he reached to pick it up. She smiled at him and said, "Please, take care of yourself, okay?"
Kaneki looked at her with surprise as his lips parted for a moment. He then nodded with a thin smile and left with the book.
(-)
Kaneki dragged his feet down the sidewalks of the 20th ward, newly signed copy of The Black Goats Egg in his book bag, thinking back to the signing. The past few days had been awful. Ever since he'd gotten out of bed Kaneki was starving. But, he couldn't eat anything! Cheese tasted like solidified animal fat, Miso tasted like what he imagined piss would, and even hamburger – his favorite food – had become inedible.
Kaneki blinked and exhaled through his nose. Don't think about that. Don't think about that. think about… think about miss Takatsuki. Kaneki felt himself calming down. That had been the one good thing to happen to him lately. The way she wrote was so… personal. Her stories crafted so carefully and interconnected. And, reading her books, it felt like Kaneki had a friend in which he could confide everything in - Things he couldn't talk about with Hide, because he just wouldn't understand. Also, admittedly, Kaneki had always had a crush on Sen Takatsuki. It started when he'd finished Dear Kafka and saw her profile on the last page. It had been in black in white, and it wasn't of the best quality, but she looked beautiful.
She is really pretty in person too, Kaneki thought as a small smile touched his pale lips. She's smaller than I thought, but she has such a large presence about her. Her hair was green. I wasn't expecting that, I wonder if it's dyed? Her eyes were too, weren't they? Yes, a very beautiful green. They looked so soft and chewy, just like her lips and her ears. Wouldn't it be great to take a nibble from her neck? Just a pinch? I need to. I need to. I need to. I need flesh, I need meat. Soft skin in between my teeth, blood running down my throat, I need flesh, I need flesh, I want flesh!
Kaneki snapped back to reality as he felt a sudden rush of pain. He'd taken his finger to his mouth and had bit down on it, breaking the skin and drawing blood that now rushed down his hand and into his hoodie sleeve, staining it. Saliva flowed down his chin and onto the collar of his shirt and he noticed the odd looks of people moving past him like a large boulder in the middle of a river, some sending him odd looks. They all look so good…
Tears formed in his eyes and he began to run, rushing back to his apartment, hoping to get away from everyone, all of it. As he ran, however, he recalled a program he'd spotted on the tv one day when he was sulking in his room. 'Ghouls can only gather nutrients from eating people. Not to mention their tongues work differently than ours do. When they eat human food, the taste is unbearable to them.' When they eat human food, the taste is unbearable to them: Isn't that what's happening to me!? No! That's crazy! I'm not a ghoul! I can't be a ghoul! That's like something out of a book! It just doesn't happen!
When Kaneki reached his house, he threw the door open and rushed into his bedroom and threw himself onto the mattress and screamed into it. But Rize was a ghoul, wasn't she!? And her organs are inside you now! You have a ghoul's stomach! Why else would you be having cravings like that?! Why else wouldn't you be able to eat regular food?!
Kaneki's eye's widened and he pushed himself off the mattress and began to pace around his apartment, pulling at his hair and mumbling "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."
NO! NO! NO! NO! He continued to pace wildly around his apartment, as if he were trying to run away. He wanted to run away, right out of his own skin. Then, as he passed his bathroom, he caught a glimpse of something in the mirror. Something on his face. His hands dropped to his side and he slowly walked towards it.
There, glowing brightly like embers on a log, was his eye; sclera black as coal and his iris a blood red, with veins swollen around it. He began to make choking sounds as tears formed in his eyes. "W-What the hell is this?" he asked, in disbelief.
In the reflection, though, behind him, he saw a familiar silhouette, standing there in a pretty white dress, hands folded over one another with a sickening, mad smile on her face. It was her. It was Rize. It's her fault. She did this to me! She's the reason this happened!
Letting out a manic scream, Kaneki punched the reflective glass in front of him, watching it crack, and distort his own face. He then spun around quickly, not surprised to see Rize was no longer there anymore and rushed into his kitchen, nearly crashing into the counter.
If that's true, and the reason I've changed like this is because of Rize, he thought as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Hide to come over, so he wouldn't die after this and started digging around for a knife, I'll just have to cut her out! I'll get a new donor! A human donor! He told himself as he lifted the end of his hoodie and shirt with his teeth and raised the knife up high above his head. Sweat poured down his forehead as he watched Rize's stomach expand and deflate in response to his elevated breathing and heart rate. This is the only way! This is the only way! This is the only way! He repeated to himself as he found himself hesitating. Then, with another crazed scream he drove the knife into himself.
It snapped.
It snapped, and he was completely fine.
Kaneki watched as the end of the knife tumbled onto the floor and felt his legs go out from underneath him. He fell on the floor, tears streaming down his face. No, no, no, no, no, he tried to fight the reality of his situation. What – what the hell am I supposed to do now?
A/N: Hello, everyone! It's been a while since I've written one of these on a story. Anyways, as some of you may have guessed, this is a remake of a story I wrote back in 2015(I think). I wanted to incorporate what I've learned as a writer since then and redo my most popular FanFic. Read and Review, please!
