A/N: Not owing Prince of Tennis, Taylor Swift and her genius song.
STATE OF GRACE
"And I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same. This is a state of grace. This is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game. Unless you play it good and right…" - Taylor Swift, State Of Grace.
"And, we actually needed a moving object or inspiration for this coming photo exhibit." Saki murmured while she was busy flipping the past portfolios that was in the room.
I sighed. I never actually had any moving inspiration for any of my photography. It was new and bizarre world for me. I was never good in movements. I probably never was, even in reality. I was afraid of changes. I was afraid of anything that was constantly in motion.
I looked at Saki as she continued discussing the disadvantages of having a moving model. She was stating that as the model moves, you always had the tendencies to change your ideas on how will you interpret the movements. You can be either literal or figurative. It goes on. Photography as an art, anyways, is a free expression. You can do whatever you want about it.
"Anything you have in your mind, Masami-chan? I mean, you being one of best amateur photographers here in our club… I bet you already have something in your mind." She looked at me in a very inquisitive manner, with her eyes sparkling underneath the white light of the room.
I twitched my mouth. My stomach started flipping off from my insides. I actually didn't know how to explain to Saki that moving models were my weakness. I had excelled the most in steady objects and derived inspirations from them in a split second. I exasperatedly ran my fingers to my hair as I slowly bowed down my head.
"I don't know. I don't like moving objects." I murmured beneath my breath.
We were running. Literally, running as fast as we could outside the corridors of Rikkai Dai, we were running out of breathes. Saki was tugging my hand as we followed Erin on our way of the hallways. Erin had an idea in her mind, but she didn't know how she will be creative about it. She wasn't sure if that idea was for her, since she had plenty of it.
We stopped in the middle of the intersection and Erin pointed out a mob of students. They were cheering and happily watching what was going behind the fence. We made through the mob and saw two students in their respective tennis uniforms doing a rally in one of the courts. Saki, clapping her hands together, looked at me with her bright blue eyes. I knew something was on her mind, and I think we had the same idea.
"So, you want me to do a photo exhibit out of this?" I inquired sarcastically.
Both of them nodded. I scratched my head. This was odd. My club mates were now the ones thinking ideas for me.
"You want inspiration, right? I have thoroughly thought about making our tennis club my next inspiration, but I didn't know anything about it. But, you and the captain were close… you know… maybe, he can help you out. Besides, tennis is a sport – constantly moving, perfect for our theme and nobody in our club has sports as their inspiration." Erin stated in enthusiastic manner.
I placed my two fingers in my chin, and started rubbing it. Erin had a good point. Whenever I have knowledge on something, I can easily draw inspiration from it. But, when reality struck me and loudly screaming the name of Yukimura in my head, I was taken back.
Yukimura and I knew each other since we were in primary school. We were good playmates and seatmates back then. My brother was into tennis, so he and Yukimura always hang out in our house. But, when we entered middle school, everything changed. Yukimura and I drifted apart. Probably because, we had so much differences in our interests and we focused on diverse crafts that we love.
However, during our secondary year in our middle school, Yukimura talked to me about something I never thought he could open up. He discussed to me the relationship that we had left behind in our primary school days, and he proposed to take it up to the next level. I wasn't sure about what he was talking about. But, I liked how it sounded, so I agreed to what he just said. I was naïve. I was not sure about this new state of our relationship, but one thing I knew was that I wanted it.
But, because of our hectic schedules in our different extra-curricular activities that we were both involved, we had less time to spend for each other. He was the captain of our school's tennis club and it had a very prestigious reputation as one of the best around the region. I, on the other hand, was regarded as one of the precious amateur photographer of Rikkai Dai Photography Club. I had portfolios, which according to my photography teacher can impress millions of artists around the region. So, we never really had a chance to catch up with each other. As if, nothing changed after the whole proposal.
I never told Yukimura how I was afraid in the changes that were happening in our lives. I was very much afraid that he'll get to know more likeable girls than me. I was afraid that I was never enough for him. I was nothing but ordinary. I was just a simple girl behind the lens.
"That would be difficult, Erin. Yes, what you said was true. But, I never talked to Seiichi-kun for a while. I didn't know how I will propose that idea to him." I replied.
"And, would that mean this will be like a first time again, Masami-san?"
A familiar voice came into our ears. A soft, kind and gentle one… it was like a very creamy coffee that soothes your throat and gives you a refreshing and relieving feeling. I looked to where the voice came from and it was from a Rikkai Dai tennis player which was few meters away from me. It was something close to my heart.
He came closer and greeted me with a smile. His blue eyes were serene and looking inside my soul. He titled his head with inquiring stare. His wavy hair was still the same one, except that the last time I talked to him this close, he wasn't wearing a headband. I could say that the colour of it complimented his hair.
"Seiichi-kun…" I was struggling with my words while looking at him in very naïve behaviour.
Honestly, the reason why I never watched the tennis club was because I was afraid of the changes that might happen when people started acknowledging our relationship. I wasn't really sure if it was right to sit in the benches and look after my significant other. I was afraid that his so-called 'fans' might kill me by just their stares. I didn't want to feel awkward around the people around me. I didn't want to open up myself to everyone, especially if such fragile thing was the reason. I was afraid of the changes. I was afraid the people might not open to it. Besides, we had hectic schedules and I was afraid that it would ruin it.
"I haven't seen you for a while, Masami-chan." He said in a very sweet tone. He offered his hand, and I candidly clasped mine to his. I bit my lip and moved my eyes sideways.
Erin and Saki were smiling and blushing at the same time. This was the first time, after the whole conversation, which we spoke to each other and at the same time, presented ourselves as couple in front of the people I knew. I glared at them and they just squealed.
"What brings you here, Masami-chan? You should have had call me, so I could prepare my teammates."
I looked at him in a shy manner.
"Ah, nothing really. Erin just presented me an idea for the next photo exhibit." I said in soft voice.
I noticed that everyone started looking at us. It was a very awkward moment. I felt like I being melted under the desert sun. I sighed as I looked at Yukimura with a very worried stare. He placed his arms around my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile.
"I see. I wouldn't mind if you use my entire team as your subject in your next photo portfolio. I would love to be part of it." He inquired.
Saki squealed in delight. I lightly slapped her shoulder which caused her to frown. I wasn't used to this kind of manner around me. I wasn't really fond of affection.
"Yukimura-buchou! The break already ended few minutes ago!" A guy with a cap and with a very stern stare hollered from the tennis courts. Yukimura acknowledged his presence and gave him a slight bow. The guy proceeded in organizing the tennis players in the field.
"Regardless of whatever intention you have in being here, I hope you stay."
I was about to protest but, knowing Yukimura; saying no was not the best option. I nodded hesitantly and shyly waved at him as he ran off his way to the courts. I sighed heavily as I felt two heavy arms around my shoulders, with squeals entering my sense of hearing. I recognized that Saki and Erin were excitedly mumbling very intimate, well, I could say… romantic sentences to express their thoughts.
I knew this was a bad idea.
After that stellar scene that happened just because of Erin's idea, our relationship had becoming the hot topic during the breaks of Rikkai Dai. People were astounded on how we kept it for one year and some people thinking that it was a far-fetched idea that our relationship exist last year until recently. I couldn't blame them. We weren't like other couples that can go lovey-dovey inside and outside the school. I tried my best to keep away from those actions. But, Yukimura was different. All he knew that our relationship was something he wanted and will not let go.
And, who would have thought? I was convinced by Saki to make the tennis team my object of focus in my next photo exhibit. How ironic that I hate moving photos.
One sunny afternoon, I was busy browsing my photos in my camera when Yukimura came by and sat beside me in the tennis court bench. He was staring closely at the photos appearing the monitor of my camera. I looked at him, puzzled in his expression.
"You are actually improving, Masami-chan. I thought you hate taking pictures like this." He pointed out a picture of Sanada (which he introduced to me last few weeks ago), returning a shot from Yanagi in a practice match. It was perfectly captured, and it was on a perfect angle. His expression was clearly seen in the photography. His determination and fire during his play cleared presented in the picture.
I titled my head as I look at him in a very baffled manner. "You actually knew?" I gulped in between my words. He knew that I hated moving photography despite the absence of time we had for each other.
Yukimura laughed lightly. He then, looked at the court with a very sincere smile.
"I knew ever since I realized my special feelings for you. I watched your every move. I remembered everything you say. I put it all in my heart without any doubt. You are more than everything delightful."
The words burned my heart. Not because of how flowery the words came out, but how heartfelt they were. I was moved. I was finally moving. I was coming up to the conclusion that this relationship was an endless cycle of knowing the things about each other and moving forward to changes that might improve us. It might be the answer to this unwavering fear that I have towards changes.
"Somehow, I hope you feel the same towards me. I might be busy, but I want you to know that you are more special than anything. I might not survive the challenges I had this past few months, if it wasn't because of you."
Yukimura held out his hand.
This time, I know I shouldn't be hesitating. I knew this would be worthwhile. I had a feeling that this would be for a long time, and I like how it sounds. This relationship of ours might be a fight for both of us to gain time, but doing it in good and right way; we'll going to get through it.
This time, it will never be the same.
Inspired from Taylor Swift's 'State Of Grace' from her latest album. Reviews are highly appreciated.
