I rolled over with a smile on my face, replaying all the memories in my head. Then I open my eyes and see your side of the bed... empty. My smile falls. Why did you have to leave? It's so hard to go on each day without you. I close my eyes and remember your face. I could have sworn you were still here.

I make a wish upon every star, upon every birthday candle, that one day... One day I'll be able to see you again. That you didn't die for nothing. I live my life each day so that yours meant something.

I miss you. I miss you, Charlie. So much! I wish that you could be here next to me. That you didn't have to....

I have a hole. A hole in my chest, and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger. Sometimes I think it could swallow me. That it will take over me and there'll be nothing left.

I listen to your music records; hear your voice playing in my ears and tears slide down my face. How I miss you..

I wish I could see you again. Tell you how much I love you. I wish you didn't leave me alone. I wish you could be here with me to watch Aaron grow up. I wish I could touch you again and have that feeling of total bliss flow through each one of my senses that only you gave me. I wish I could hear you whisper my name. I wish I could feel the goose bumps that only your voice and your touch could give me.

Do you still remember all those days we spent together? The times we laughed. The times we talked. All those days we spent hand in hand on the beach.

Charlie, do you remember our conversations? Our plan? I do. I remember us talking about how we were going to live together. You were going to help me take care of Aaron. You were going to restart your band and sell your music.. I loved your music....

I loved you, Charlie. I still do.

'Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me.' I remember thinking the day you left. I knew there was something you weren't telling me. There was a certain glint in your eyes. But I was blind. I didn't realize exactly what you were planning on doing. If I had known, I would have stopped you.

The kiss... That last kiss you left me with before you left… I'll cherish it forever.

I looked down at Charlie's ring around my finger and smiled.

We'll never be apart.

Do you still remember the peanut butter?