The Tango Tugger

The Lavender Cat

Disclaimer: I don't own CATS or RENT...trust me, if I did, I would not be here, writing this and telling you guys I didn't own them.

A/N: I just decided to take a little break from "A Second Chance" for a while. This one has nothing to do with it in any way. I just wrote it out of sheer boredom.

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Bombalurina opened her eyes a slit and sat up on the old torn mattress. She stretched her limbs, gaining feeling in them once more. The nap had done wonders for her. She felt refreshed and relaxed. But, there was a feeling, gnawing at the back of her mind, telling her she was forgetting something. What could it possibly be? And then it hit her, hard and fast like a flung brick to the face.

"TUGGER!" she yelled at the sky. She remembered now. Tugger was supposed to meet her at the spot she was currently in. They would have gone on a walk together, him whispering sweet nothings in her ear and occasionally planting a kiss on her cheek as she giggled coyly. But he'd been late, or at least she thought that was the reason he'd yet to show up, and the warm, midday sun of August had made her feel so tired that she'd drifted off and gone to sleep. And that had been almost three hours ago.

Okay, okay, Bombalurina's level-headed side told her. Just calm down and try to rationalize all this. Maybe something happened, like Munkustrap needed help with something, and it was making him late.

Three hours late, her more impulsive side argued.

Well, maybe he saw you were sleeping and didn't want to wake you up.

Yeah right, Tugger isn't that considerate!

Bombalurina shook her head to silence her thoughts. She hopped off the mattress and began to pace in the dirt, muttering obscenities and mild death threats intended for Tugger.

"That lazy, ill-bred louse," she hissed. "He''ll hear about this. He'll be sorry he ever stood me up..."

"Talking to yourself, eh, Bomba," came a male voice. "I always knew it would come to this one day, but I didn't think it would be so soon."

Bombalurina cast her gaze skyward to see Munkustrap smiling at her from a shipping crate a few feet away from the mattress she'd been sleeping on. She scowled at him and turned on her heels, heading for an opening in the junk. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now, not even the understanding Munkustrap. She was almost far enough away to start venting again when Munkustrap called from behind her, "I know where Tugger is!"

No sooner had he finished his sentence, Bombalurina turned and ran back to where she'd just been. Out of breath, she asked, "Really? Where?"

"Oh, over by the tire, entertaining the kittens," Munkustrap replied, busying himself getting something out of his teeth.

Bombalurina felt her heart sink as she asked, "How long has he been there?"

"For a while now," Munkustrap said. "Somewhere around three hours, I think."

For while, they were both silent, just staring at each other. Then, feeling utterly defeated, Bombalurina collapsed on a nearby cardboard box.

Growling a little, she said, more to herself than to Munkustrap, "I'm so mad I don't know what to do."

"How's that?" Munkustrap asked.

"What, are you blind and deaf?" Bombalurina asked. "I've just been stood up by that dope and now the only thing I can do is complain to you!"

"Feel kind of like going insane," Munkustrap asked. "Your brain's on fire? You want to drink poison?"

"As a matter of fact..." Bombalurina started to say.

"Oh, I know what's going on," Munkustrap said, lowering himself onto the mattress. "It's the infamous Tango Tugger."

"What?" Bombalurina asked, arching an eyebrow.

"It happens with every queen he meets," Munkustrap said, rolling onto his back. "It's a pretty vicous cycle, if you ask me. He keeps them dangling, plays with their hearts..."

"You're wrong!" Bombalurina shouted, getting to her feet, as Munkustrap stared at her with surprise. "It's totally different with me. Besides what do you know?"

"Only that he's been with a lot of other queens before he started seeing you," Munkustrap said indignantly. "I am his half-brother, you know. I've heard them all." Then, immiating high-pitched queens, he said, "'Oh, I just toss and turn all night thinking about how he could of done that to me. His cold eyes were just burning into my soul. I still yearn for him every day.' It's not umcommon, Bomba."

"I..." Bomba said, feeling a wave of realization coming over her, "I think I know what you mean."

She began to think back. This really was not the first time Tugger had stood her up. She thought about all the times she been out walking with him, and he'd be staring or winking at a pretty queen who'd walk by...

No, no, no! Her level-headed side took over again. Just because Tugger is forgetful and acts like a tom, doesn't mean he doesn't care about you.

As if reading her mind, Munkustrap asked, "Has he ever pouted his lip and called you 'Pookie'?"

Staring at Munkustrap with confusion, she said, "No..."

"How about when he kisses you. Ever doubt a peck, even for a second?"

This is definetly getting spooky, Bombalurina's level-headed side said to her.

"Sometimes," she answered carefully. "Did the other queens say they would swoon whenever Tugger walked in?"

"Every time," Munkustrap replied. "Gotta be careful about that."

"What about other queens?" Bombalurina asked, getting very nervous. "Did they ever complain about him about him mooning over other queens?"

"They complained about more than mooning," Munkustrap said.

"Oh, I'm feeling sick..." Bombalurina said, clutching her stomach. She began to fantasize...

It was Tugger and her, walking together, all alone on a moonlit street. He smiled a dazzeling smile, one that made her knees go weak. He pulled her in for one tender kiss. But Bombalurina noticed that instead of recieeing the kiss, she was watching it happen. And it wasn't happening with her! Tugger was kissing a thin, beautiful white and gold cat with long following headfur. Their lips parted and Tugger looked over in Bombalurina's direction. He shrugged casually as he pulled in the new queen for another firey kiss...

"Oh, Bast!" she shouted. "He cheated!"

"Yep, he's cheated," Munkustrap said, unaware Bombalurina's horrifying vision.

"Cheated..." she said weakly.

"Cheated." Munkustrap repeated.

"Oh, Bast, there's no point!" she said, rising to her feet and pacing again. "I may as well just give up right now."

"Look on the bright side Bomba..." Munkustrap began.

"What's the point?!" Bombalurina shouted, cutting him off. "And I know that I'd fall for him again anyway!"

"Yeah," Munkustrap said, this time lowering himself onto the ground and approaching Bombalurina. "When you dance with Tugger you don't stand a chance. It's like he has total control. And you think, 'Might as well..."

"...dance a tango to hell." Bombalurina finished for him.

"Because, at least you'll have tangoed at all," Munkustrap said, patting her on the shoulder.

"Great," Bombalurina said, sounding less than enthusicastic. "I'm gonna have to dance until my diva's had enough. I wouldn't be able to leave him anyway. I'll be with him until I turn blue!"

"Why do they love when he's mean?" Munkustrap asked.

Not even quite sure he was asking her and not himself, Bombalurina answered, "Search me."

Suddenly from behind a pile of junk emerged Tugger. He looked slightly dishelved, his mane sticking up and the studded belt he wore slightly askew. "Sorry about the wait, babe," he said, smoothing down his mane. "Had to take care of something. Hey, Straps."

As Munkustrap nodded a greeting, Bombalurina was overtaken by a decision. Should she forgive him or chew him out? However, when he wrapped his arm around her waist and licked her ear suggestivly, she immediatly knew the answer.

Wow, you are really pathetic, her impulsive side said. But Bombalurina paid no attenion.

"Do you mind, Straps?" Tugger said. "This is kind of a private moment between me and Pookie."

Bombalurina felt her eyes nearly pop out of her skull. Pookie?! She could see a huge grin spread across Munkustrap's face.

Looking into Tugger's face as Munkustrap walked away, whistling, she said to him, "You never call me pookie."