An Uneasy Mind

Anxiety was an illness. It must be. It made her heart go very quickly and closed her throat making her unable to ask for help. There was a pain in her head so severe she feared fainting and therefore bumping her head on the cobblestone. Her fingers had became clumsy. Making her anxiety worsen. Where was Monsieur Marius? He was very late. If she could just sit down maybe things would feel better, but as she lowered herself down with the wall for support, a wave of nausea hit. Already halfway down and with no choice, she fell hard the rest of the way.

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Why will they just not see...where are the people? There should be outrage on the streets yet all I see is calm indifference. Where is the rage at the injustices? Where is it? I can not think why one would lie back and let life continue this way when it can change... dammit. My hand...damn this ink! If I can not run a meeting properly how am I meant to lead a revolution... I can not even sway a cynic in my own group...

I do not know why Grantaire does this, why he keeps coming to our meetings! He does not care for our future, so why does he continue coming! I wonder if he will be drunk today...although 'Ferre tells me he is trying to quit. Oh dear...talk about quit...

We cannot quit... I will not quit! I need to tell the people of the most recent stunt our ''oh so honest'' representatives have pulled... oh I do hope Courfeyrac has avoided trouble with the weapons... I told him it was too public a trade...no he will be fine.

I do worry about the drunk...I hope he stays safe... the last time he was assaulted and robbed was terrifying. He may have a distasteful lifestyle and he may waste his talent but... this revolution will brighten the spirits of people...what if it does not?

It will.

There is no doubt to be had. Surely there will be no reason to drown in drink, for there shall be opportunity for all to improve themselves. Dear...this coat is getting really too big. I really need to eat soon... I shall have something later. Oh look at the time, right... yes... I am well...right they are coming in now... stop it Enjolras, stop it, breath, breath and smile. Yes smile.

''Hello my friends''

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If they knew half the diseases they could catch, well surely they would not act as they do. Especially that Courfeyrac. I need to worry for them as a friend. Yes I must look out for them. Who is that on the ground? The ground by heavens! It is that poor stick of a girl...why is she on the ground? Is she hurt? What have I packed today? Surely the girl being injured would be the only reason. Everyone knows how dirty these streets are. Stop it and ask the girl what she is doing. I will... why am I not helping?

''Hello there Mademoiselle...''

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Feuilly's skilled fingers were tapping against the table in an impatient rhythm. Enjolras was pacing. Combeferre fiddling with his glasses, whilst reading over the latest news. Joly fussing over an annoyed Eponine. Bahorel studying his cut knuckles from goodness knows where. People by now did not ask. Laigle sat with his head bowed, bottle in hand for he was nursing his pride. Earlier he had tripped in front of a pretty Mademoiselle he had intended on wooing. Grantaire was late.

His forbidden love was scribbling furiously into his notebook. Clearly angry at who knows what or whom. It was rare the man got in this mood and it made for some fantastic writing Courfeyrac knew.

Sweet Jehan. His sweet Jehan..Although outwardly resembling a rainbow today – his demeanour resembled a thunder cloud. He dare not interrupt the poet in fear of being struck on the spot.

Everybody needs to calm the hell down. Courfeyrac thinks. Smiling at Joly who had finally spared Eponine. Courfeyrac bored with how the night was going, made sure to catch the medic student's attention before leaning down to the semi-clean table and slowly licking up the spilt wine from earlier.