CHAPTER SUMMARY: Not everybody enjoys celebrating their birthday. Fern definitely doesn't. He doesn't get a party, can't eat a blasted Finn Cake, deals with a pansy ass piece of gum as a employer, and WORSE OF ALL, has to constantly play second best to Finn. His own Human self! No matter though, Both Finn and Fern's 17th Birthday isn't exactly over yet. Well, not for The Green Knight anyway.


Damn that stupid Finn! Damn him! Damn him! Damn him! Fern mentally screamed. It was all his damn fault that all the previous events at the candy kingdom earlier happened anyway. Now Fern was in trouble with his employer and all because flipping Plan B Finn existed!

The Green Knight paced around his room. Well, it was kinda a room, if you squinted. It definitely wasn't what one would consider a normal kind of living space but Fern wasn't really allowed to live in one of the castle rooms. So he had a little area outside that was dedicated just for him. A grass hybrid sanctuary if you would like to call it. There was a cluster of trees and high up in their entwined branches was a small treehouse. Nothing like Fern's old one that he had lived in when he was Finn. But still pretty cool. He had a bed, a small bathroom, and even a closet. Fern didn't know why he had the bathroom or closet, as he really didn't need them, but was grateful all the more for The Gumbaldians.

He wasn't though grateful for the tongue lashing he got from Gumbald though. Jeez. The guy had a temper! Wasn't candy suppose to be sweet? Fern shook his head at the memory. Note to self, just obey Uncle G's every word or pray to GOB that Gumbald never finds out otherwise. Stupid, stupid Finn! It really was his fault! I mean it was Fern's stinking birthday too!

With a huff, The Knight jumped out of the tall tree that he had been calling home the last few weeks. The thud that his boots made when he hit the ground oddly satisfied the teenager. Probably because Fern secretly imagined the thud being Finn's head getting hit by a 2 by 4. It really was all Finn's fault though. Everything that was Finn's was actually Fern's. Why was Fern the bad guy for wanting his life back? His friends back? A fucking Finn Cake?! Why was that so wrong? Why did he get in trouble for attacking Finn? Wasn't that what he was suppose to do? GOB he was confused.

The Hybrid found himself walking, his green form casting a rather intimidating shadow when the full moon illuminated him. Silently chuckling at the irony of it all. Literally Fern hated Finn, which was in a essence, himself. Fern hated himself. He hated who he was and he hated who Finn was too. But the thing he really hated the most was the issue with his lower groins. The issue that Finn had never been able to really contain. Yeah, Finn had had sex. But the things Finn had always desired had always just stayed as fantasies. Mostly out of fear and his own inner disgust.

The trees soon cleared, all except one. Fern looked at it with such hate and ummm, longing. The treehouse was a reminder of everything Fern could never be. He understood that when Finn had murdered him with his robotic arm that Princess Bubblegum, Fern's "friend" gave him to him awhile back. The Demon within him was speaking some sort of dark, sadistic crap that made Fern unconsciously reach for his member. Damn Finn! If he wasn't such a pansy, maybe Fern wouldn't be so frustrated!

The teenage knew he had his orders to turn around. To not engage with Bubblegum's champion. But yet something inside of him propelled him forward and strangely enough it wasn't the Grass Demon. The Teen's slender hands touched the tall green grass that blew in the wind. How nice it felt. The treehouse's scratched door opened up rather easily. Stupid, stupid Finn. The moron almost died earlier! Was he really the ignorant to actually leave the front door unlocked? Fern in a lot of ways was glad that he wasn't clueless Finn. His human counterpart's clueless nature was rather embarrassing.

Fern found himself slowly in the treasure chamber. Mountains of gold, diamonds and a few historic human objects covered the wooden floorboards. All discovered by Finn and Jake on their previous adventures. Ahh, The memories of those less confusing times. When fighting was fun and Fern was just Finn. Not a replica. Not a sword. Not a combination of human flesh and dark grass demon matter. Just Finn the human with his dog brother, Jake saving Ooo one villain at a time. Those were the times.

The ladder creaked under him as The Knight climbed up top the roof. Kinda stupid. Fern could have jumped onto the roof in the first place and saved a step. But something about doing his old human routine just felt right. He climbed in thru a window, again which was stupidly unlocked, and found himself viewing the living room and then the kitchen. Nothing had really changed. The place was still a flipping mess. Looking thru the fridge, Fern found a bunch of freshly made Finn cakes. How he wanted one! Nimble hands quickly grabbed the tray. Knocking over a container of Jake's orange juice in the process. Fern almost took a bite. Almost. But his grassy reflection reflected from the one side of the medal tray and stopped the reaction all together. GOB, he hated Finn.

It was at that moment, when Fern let his emotions take him completely. He was breaking a order from his superior by being this close to Finn already. Why not just finish the job? With that the Grassy Human climbed up the pole leading up to the second and third stories of the treehouse. He would finish the job he had started earlier and The Gumbaldian's would thank him. With Finn around, Gumbald's dreams of defeating Bubblegum would always be just a dream. But with Fern taking matters into his own more than capable hands, well, taking the candy kingdom would be easy. Yes, they would thank him.

Finn and Jake's sleeping quarters, like everything else in the treehouse, remained unchanged. There was still some dust and dirt on the wooden third story floors. It was always hard lugging a vacuum cleaner up here. Fern willed his boot covered feet forward, Smirking at the pretty form before him becoming more and more clearer with every slow step.

Finn was beautiful. His robotic arm hanging loosely off of the boy's fur coated cot. Long strands of blonde hair gently caressed his delicate face as Fern found himself stroking the Human's cheek. The Knight's fingers then gently traced his other copy's slender, red pajama covered figure. So soft and smooth.

Snores echoed behind The Knight. Fern didn't have to look to know that it was Jake. He didn't have to worry either. Jake the dog could sleep through anything. Literally anything. One time when he was still Finn, he had been trying to surprise Jake with his own special bacon pancakes recipe and ended up nearing burning the whole Treehouse down. If a half in hour of Finn's high pitched adolescent screaming and the intense amount of smoke didn't wake Jake up, then nothing could. Jake's powerful REM sleep was going to be a blessing though for the smirking anti hero but would most certainly be a curse for the hero himself.

The rival Finn watched his replacement for just a few more seconds. Taking careful notice of the blonde's little lips as they exhaled ever so slightly and his long blonde eyelashes flutter, obviously in sleep created bliss, before pouncing on the unsuspecting beauty sleeping peacefully before him.


Hi, Chè-Butter here!

Just thought I would post this "Hello" here because this is afterall my verst first Fanfiction submitted here on ! I gotta say, this is extremely exciting! I have had this idea in my head for quite some time now. Heads up to everyone reading though this story is DEFINITELY ADULT THEMED and it's only going to get more darker as the chapters go on. AKA, why it's rated MATURE.

I most definitely DO NOT own ADVENTURE TIME. I do own this idea though and in some ways the personalities and interactions that Pendleton Ward's orginal character concepts happen to express. I would say my interpretations are just typical "Family Friendly Fun." But I think that would be a extreme understatement on my part. Hahaha.

Anyway, Please check out my DeviantART page. (Che-Butter) I designed a story illustration just for this chapter. I am going to try to draw one for each. But seriously! Check it out! I posted the URL here in hopes that it would come out as a direct link, but I don't know if its going to work as one for you guys.

DEVIANTART URL/LINK: che-butter/art/AT-THORNS-Breaking-In-and-Entering-78948919

Anyway, Please FAVORITE and REVIEW! It's a fabulous motivator for someone who struggles with writing/typing things down!

THANKS SO MUCH!