Tony closed his eyes and counted to 10.

10…

9…

Clint had taught him this when he was going through withdrawals from his alcohol addiction. It was fucking useless at first. But lately…lately it had been the only thing to get him through.

8…

7…

Though they had never gotten along, when Tony hit is rock bottom, Clint was there. He was there unexpectedly to pick up the broken shards of an iron man. With firmness and determination he denied a pleading, lying, cursing, angry, and desperate Tony his crutch of alcohol. He broke him down. Re branded the complicated man of many vices. They grew close and necessary to the success of the other. Clint needed Tony's confidence and Tony needed Clint's faith in a better way. They were piecing together lives bruised and scarred by the sins of their fathers. It was good.

6…

5…

But fate never meant to be merciful to Tony Stark and Clint Barton. For a superhero it was not a glorious way to go. Clint was driving home from a party at Stark Tower and cruel irony decided to pay him a tragic visit. A drunken foolhardy kid decided to drive that night. He drifted and collided with Clint's car. Head on. He passed instantly. The memories, the skill, the fears, the dreams, and the bonds all dissipated like so much steam coming off of the tangled mess of Clint's car.

4…

3…

After finding out about Clint, the Avengers assembled to grieve. Faced with the fact that even super-humans bleed, break, and fade, they all handled it in their own way. Natasha got lost in her work and eventually lost track of the other Avengers. Thor left SHIELD to spend more time with his son and with Jane. Bruce focused his energy on his relationship with Betty. They all seemed to be using this tragedy to make right the wrongs in their own life. To seize the day and live in the now for they never know how much time they have left to appreciate it. Tony did not grieve this way. He found himself fading like the wallpaper in an abandoned unwanted house. He was losing himself to the sadness. How so very badly he wanted to escape the abandonment. All he wanted was a drink. But no. He needed to see this through. To just count it down.

2…

1…

The counting hadn't helped. It probably never would again. There was nothing to be done. It's effectiveness passed with the one who taught it. Sighing in resignation, Tony went to his den and poured himself a drink