I don't own Avatar the last air bender.

Lie me down, where they cant see, slit my throat, and end the existence of me.

Aang

Katara

Zuko

Azula

Toph

Ty-Lee

Mai

"Im sorry."

He took another swing of his drink. Even though he had already drunk more than five bottles, he was still able to talk without slurring. That proved to him he wasn't drunk enough.

He finished off the bottle, and threw it over the edge. He heard the way it landed on the ground, splattering glass everywhere. He didn't even feel guilt if it hit someone on the head. He didn't care anymore. He didn't care about anything anymore. His life was a wreck. Ever since he had lost the war, nothing had gone right. Katara had dumped him to be with some a fire nation official to save her ass. What happened to the defiant girl he had fell in love with? Where had she gone? Oh that's right, down the drain, just like the rest of their happiness.

He had been in hiding since they had lost the war. He ran away, not being able to face the humiliation that sure did come. Toph had practically killed herself, and she was still trying. Sokka and Suki dashed to Kyoshi Island for safety but even there, they were in danger. Everyone, they were either dead or hiding, Zuko were now in the fire nation prison, and thereof betraying the nation.

He opened another bottle. The bitter taste of emptiness ran down his throat and seared his words, rendering him speechless. He knew the effects of the drink were starting to work, because the world started to spin. His words molded together. His hearing was short, and he could only heart certain things. He knew it was his time.

He failed the most important mission of all. He life was based around one thing, and that was to save the world. He had disappointed everyone, even himself. He didn't deserve to live, while all the others died. This fatal mistake made him grab his glider and take to the sky.

He never did come back to the tiled roof, and he never did open his slivery grey eyes again.

"I'm sorry…"

He was dead. He was dead. He was dead… the words rang inside her head. The news had been front page. The Avatar dead. The bold words popped out at her. She was no longer smiling. Her russet skin was slick with tears, her brown eyes clouded over with sadness. She dropped the paper onto the glass table. It made a thunk noise. She looked around again, making sure she hadn't woke up her fiancé that lay in the bed.

She felt a feeling that she hadn't felt in a long time since she left. Guilt. If only she had helped him with the war. If only she hadn't left when he needed her, if only she had been there! Come on! Maybe Sokka was right. Maybe she was useless and lazy. But she had done something right?

Something inside of her stirred. She loved him. No, she still loves him. He had left, and so had she. If only she had begged him to stay when he took off with his glider. If only she hadn't fell prey to the young fire bender she met while hiding. Things would be different, and he would be alive.

More tears seemed to escape her eyes. This was all her fault, and she couldn't take it any longer.

Her fiancée stirred in bed, and she quickly shut off the light she was using to read the morning paper. The early hints of sunshine were staring to peak through the sky. It was almost morning. Another morning he could have been alive…

"Katara baby, what are you doing?" his voice rang deep around the room. She sniffled quietly, and wiped her eyes.

"Nothing baby, just going to take a morning bath." she made up the lie on the spot. But maybe the bath would take her mind off the incident. He still moved around in bed. She knew he wasn't an early riser, so he wouldn't want to join her.

"Okay just come back to me when you're done." He rolled over again and fell asleep. Katara sighed and continued on.

She grabbed the paper and went into the bathroom. It was rather extravagant, with a large tub in the center. The light was slowly pouring in from the window that overlooked the court.

She filled the tub with water and bubbles to the rim. She looked herself in the mirror and was disgusted. Who was she? There were bags under her chocolate eyes from no sleep, and her mouth hung in a permanent scowl. Her brown hair was pinned up, and she let the waves cascade over her bare shoulders.

She searched through the cabinets for a razor and found one that was rather sharp. She settled herself into the bath and her muscles relaxed. The picture of his motionless body was branded into her mind. What had she done? What had she turned into?

She started to cry even harder. The sobs racked her body and rang around the empty room. She felt alone with out him. He was another part of her soul. Now she felt something in her crumble.

That's when she took the razor and ran it over her neck. It cut into her flesh deep, and blood stained the pure white bubbles. She laid her head back on to the edge, and continued. She closed her eyes, and the razor cut so deep into her existence, she couldn't open the windows to her soul any more.

In his life, he had to get up, survive, and go to sleep again. That was his new routine. He never ate any of the food they would pass to him, nor did he give into the temptation of killing the guards. Never once did he think about killing himself, until the other two did.

"Did you hear? A fire nation governor's fiancée killed herself. Said she was found in the bathroom with a cut neck and razor in her hand. He was devastated. They say she was holding the newspaper about the Avatar who committed suicide too." the guard outside spoke rather loudly.

He had trained with them. He had them trained. He was with them. How could this have happened? Sure he was stuck in a damn prison all his life, but did that mean that didn't know things?

He was with them right before it all. Right before Katara took to one of the governors to save her life. Right before Sokka and Suki fled. Right Aang disappeared into the sky, and never came back.

He went down fighting though. He didn't care that he was the fire nation prince, he still deserved his life. And so he fought for it like the true man he was. He fought to be free again, and that landed in front of his cruel father, who did nothing but demean him. He was lucky he wasn't requested for Agni Kai again. But he would much rather die than still be under the rein of his father. He would even jump out of the small windows, or hang himself by the chains and shackles.

A tear slipped out of his golden eyes. He had hated them at first, but then grew fond of their silliness and childish ways. They brought out the fun side of him, despite his serious attitude.

He had to do something. He couldn't wait here to rot in this hell for the rest of his life. He didn't want to live like that. He didn't want to live at all. He didn't need to. What was the point?

He was born as a prince, and lowered himself into nothing. He trained the Avatar for sake! But did that help them win the war? No. His training did nothing what so ever. He felt like it was partially his fault they lost the war and he killed himself. He felt like if he would have pushed him harder, and made him stronger, he could have won. He could have at least had chance to become something. But he didn't. He let him slack off. When he needed pressure the most, he wasn't able to receive it. He didn't get anything.

The guilt was eating him alive. If he had only been a better teacher! He would have survived. But he didn't, and that was the problem.

He looked around, and outside the bars. The metal door was shut tightly. He stood, grabbing the chain as he did so. There was post high above his head. He couldn't quite reach it, but he sure did need it. He heated the chain up enough to leave serious injury. He set it on fire again. Then he twisted and wound it up. It landed on the hooked post. He warmed it enough to that the metal would melt into the post. The chain dangled down. It had enough height that it would lift him off his feet. He tied the chain around his neck. It seared his skin, leaving marks.

He took a deep breath. This was it. This was what he deserved. The chain dug right into his skin and felt himself leaving the ground. The air in his lungs was cut off by the way his throat was constricted. A few more minutes with no air, and the red scar over his left eye, matched the one circling his neck.

She stared at herself in the broken mirror. He reflection stared back at her, happily devious. The look in her golden eyes was nothing to be proud of. Her pride got in the way of everything, and it certainly was not going to get in the way of this. The tiny crown placed upon her head was lopsided and about to fall out of her black locks. The red robe she wore was off on a shoulder and stained with blood.

Whose blood? Hers. It was her blood that seemed to be all over the floors and walls, and on her. Why? Why was her fluid scattered amongst her royal room? This was, because she couldn't take it anymore.

The pressure of being Fire Nation Princess was getting to her. She was so used to having things handed to her. Now, with the fact that she was about to be come Fire Lord while Ozai was Phoenix King killed her. She had always been the best, the most liked among her brother. She always had competition.

But now her brother was dead. She was the one that found his body in the cell, hanging there with a chain around his neck. She still remembered the way their father waved it off dismissively like it was another prisoner. But she had cried. She had actually cried. The tears that came from her golden eyes late at night in her room still lingered. She had almost tried to kill him herself! But here he was, dead by his own hands, and she was a waterfall.

The glass from the mirror sat on the red carpet, teasing her with their sharp edges and distorted images. For a second she thought she saw herself. You know, the really one that wasn't screwed up mentally. The one with a smile on her face, and not a frown. The one that didn't pick up a piece of glass, and the one that didn't walk into the courtyard.

All the guards were alert, but she sneakily walked past them. They paid her no attention, as if she was the same little servant everyday.

But no, she was the fire nation heir. The soon to be Fire Lord. That counted for something, right? She had competed to get there. But what was there to fight for now? Her brother was gone. There was no one else there to fight with. There was nothing else to fight for.

So she stopped. She stopped fighting. She stopped it all. And she even stopped her heart from beating, by stabbing the piece of glass into her chest. She was in the same courtyard that she battled Zuko in. This was where he made his death wish. This is where she fulfilled hers.

"Dead I lay, forever still today..."

She can feel the earth's vibrations. She can tell where you are, what you are doing, if you are lying, if you healthy, she knows all about you. But the thing is, does he even know herself? Since the war ended, she had been nothing. As their deaths reached blind eyes, but open ears, she crumpled.

"Twinkle Toes, Sugar Queen, Sparky, Hotheads…" where had they all gone? They had bee with her. She fought with them. She defended them. She loved them. They were the family she never had; not counting the one she had ran away from. They were her brothers, her sister and her everything. She didn't have anything while she was on the run, the she met them, and things changed. But now, look at them. They were scattered amongst separate parts of the world, dead. She came to like Zuko the most. His troubled past proved to be similar to how she felt. Now she left alone, all over again. Her parents had been murdered the one time she decided to come back. Sokka and Suki went to their island. She couldn't find them. She couldn't find herself.

She was lost. They proved to be something that she found happiness in. They were with her through it all. She wanted to feel loved and appreciated like she was before. She wanted something than they could have given her. She wanted love.

But she couldn't have it. It was mostly her fault they were all dead. Something went terribly wrong while training Aang. If she had only made tougher with him, he would have been able to defeat the stuck up fire king. He would have been able to save everyone around him, including himself. But he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough, tough enough, powerful enough. He was so empty when they lost. When he had to run away from the fight. It killed him inside. She could feel it by the way his heartbeat started to get slower and slower. Then finally, when he lost it, he lost everyone else. He flew away. He never came back. None of them did.

Nobody was there. It was short and simple. Nothing more, nothing less. They all died, killing themselves in the ways of pure torture, just to keep the pain away. She needed what they had, relief. She was lonely and depressed and empty. She wanted something that they all had. She wanted the pain to go away…

So she made her things short and simple…

She climbed to the top of a tree, and thought about what she was about to do. She knew she wasn't able to 'see' in water, so it made everything all the more worthy. If she would just jump off of the tree, the world would stop spinning, and the hurt would go away. If she would just make sure she never took another breath of fresh air that they weren't able to breathe, she would be ok.

So she gulped down air, and let it out. She ran back, relishing in the last thing she would ever feel. The rough tree bark cut her bare feet, but it was worth the pain. She could hear the waves crash onto the forest back roughly, sending seawater flying. Se couldn't feel it as to how high she was, but she would hear. She closed her blind eyes, and jumped. The rush of air ran past her ears, and breathed in water as she hit the iciness. The poison water filled her lungs, and her throat burned. She kept taking in water, letting the current take her body to a place it hadn't gone before: death. She didn't need to see, to know earth had gone from her vision.

Acceptance. That's what she felt when she was with Azula and Mai. She had always been deemed the circus freak, who was able to knock you out with a simple jab to the chest. She had trained to be bale to know your pressure points, know your weaknesses, and to know how to kill you.

That is what she had grown up wit. She always had to defend herself in case of a circus fight, or to help Azula. She was there for her; she made the sanity in the group. She wasn't the one that was emotionless and cold, Mai, or the one that was cruel, Azula. No, she was the charismatic one that helped with everything else. She made them smile with her silly nature. She was the one that helped them. Even though she may have betrayed Azula once, she still remained her friend.

Azula brought out the dark side in her. She made sure she knew that not everything was carnival joke. She really missed her. She should have been there for her. She should have followed her orders when Azula told her to. Then she wouldn't have felt like she was alone in this world, and she wouldn't have gone crazy. She would still be here, and they would all be together in one little happy friend family. But something told her, that wouldn't have happened. Zuko had still died, and so had all the others. So Azula had must of really felt alone then.

Why? She could have come to her if she needed to. Even if she went to the wrong side, she would still be coming back to her. She still loved her like her own sister.

There was no one there anymore. She was strictly alone. She was cold and sad. The one cheerful smile that lit up her face was gone. It was replaced my an empty frown. Smile. She told herself. Be happy again. One side of her was still dancing and having a good time while the other side was there, sad and bitter and hateful. She didn't want to give into either side, but eventually, she did.

She gave into the dark side. The one that cut off your body for fun, and the one that smiled at your misery. That side she had always kept hidden away from people, fearful of what they might think of her if she showed her true essence.

One day, she stood in her tent. If was time, as the depression was already starting to creep into her strained smile. She knew what she had to do. Today, she would be performing a tightrope walk, across a rather long distance. They knew she wasn't the best, and she knew she wasn't the happiest. She took this as her chance, to smile once more.

The rope was unstable, and flimsy. She hardly had made it three feet over, when it started to move. She tried to balance herself, but she couldn't. She couldn't find balance in her soul, in her spirit and in her mind. So she stopped moving, and as the rope gave one last jerk, she fell. Fifty feet in the air, to the hard ground of life, she did what she needed to. She ended it. She ended her own life. The circus only lost one more person, but to Mai, she knew she had lost everything, and everyone.

She walked over to the balcony, watching the bustling city below her. The streetlights were bright, creating different colors amongst the midnight sky. The stars weren't out, as they were crowed by the black clouds that constantly hung over the heavens.

She wished they were there. All of them. She recalled a time when they had all gathered, and talked about nothing. They laughed and smiled. It was peaceful and fun. There wasn't any danger, there wasn't any death, it was just peace. But it was too calm and maybe it was too peaceful. Maybe it all was a dream.

Yes, that's what she narrowed it down to be: A dream. It was nothing but a figment of her imagination. They never had that much happiness in their lives without something threatening to kill them. It was a fucked up fairytale, where nothing came true and life would vanish as your opened your eyes. How could life be so twisted?

They took everything from her. Life was a cruel, evil bitch. First the Avatar, then his love, then her love (Zuko…), then her best friend, then everyone else! Who would be next? Was there a virus airborne that had leaked and gone to all of them? Or had this been their doing, seeing as they had miserable lives? What was so wrong with them? They had all they wanted and more.

Buts that's where your wrong, something told her. They didn't have it all. The Avatar failed in his quest, and was huge disappointment. The water bender lost him, so they lost her. Then Zuko… ah, poor Zuko, locked into a prison for being right. Then Azula, the insanity finally sinking into a place where she couldn't understand why to live anymore. They all had reasons for doing what they did; she had no doubts about that. But why leave her, so alone and cold. She lived in a world full of monsters. They wouldn't care about you one but, even if you did die. So here they were, stuck with an issue of suicidal teenagers, killing themselves all over the world. She was the only one left. As she heard, the water benders brother had been killed on Kyoshi Island secretively. Since she used to be a Kyoshi Warrior, she knew it, even though it was hidden. It made all of it a little bit harder to deal with.

As tears started to fall on her skin, it rained down on her. All the emotions that she kept held in broke form within, shattering her perfect façade. The smirk and frown turned into an open mouthed sob. Her pined up hair stuck to her face as the rain beat down over. Her tears were mixed in with the water, falling down on her. Her chest heaved with held in cries, mourning for the loss of people she called her friends and family. Her robes stuck to her body heavily, weighing her down.

The lights if the city went out, one by one. They were just like souls, going out. They were all connected, the lights, as each of them used what power they had left to survive. But in the end, it wasn't enough, and they ended up dying out. One would go out, and they all would follow. Like a game of follow the leader, do as I do. Except, they each had to choice! They knew what they were doing, but they did it anyway! Why? Why do it to her? Her pain stricken cries filled the air. Her sobs grew louder. The rain beat her mercilessly. Thunder boomed, lighting struck all around her. The knives that resided in the hidden compartment of her sleeves, slipped out. She held onto them so tightly, that they drew blood into her pale skin.

She was even more depressed then usual. Never again would she cry, or mourn or even smile for that matter. Nothing mattered to her anymore. They were all gone. They were dead. They went down, and she was going down with them. She fought all her life to be happy, and once she got it, it was brutally ripped from her. Everything. And they didn't give two shits. But she did. The rain was music to her ears, and her screams pierced the eerie silence. The knives cut deeper into her palms. The tears crew heavier, but they mingled with the forbidden rain.

"Lie me down dead, as they all go, I will see nothing, as I reach this low blow." Mai.

She gripped the knives with a newfound passion. She closed her eyes. She held onto the slippery edge of the balcony. It was high, very high above the ground. There was no limit to the length, as it was more of 200 feet in the air, maybe more. She meant, it was the highest building in the city, overlooking the whole place. So as the rain poured upon her, as her unshed tears throughout the span of her time, she stood on the edge of the balcony. The wind blew her around, and the thunder boomed louder, the lightning growing fiercer. She sniffled, trying to stop crying. She knew what she was doing, and she wasn't looking back. They didn't, and neither would she. So she carefully turned herself around before she closed her eyes. She slipped slightly. She didn't want to die on accident by her slipping, so she held onto the banister.

Their faces all filled her mind. They smiled at her and waved, friendly and alive. But she knew they were dead, and they weren't coming back. She loved them all. Even though she hardly met some, she connected with them. She didn't want to live her life without those faces.

The rain still beat her, and she allowed it. She would miss the people alive, with her, but she couldn't live without the people that were dead. She was hanging, with one hand to the banister, and the other free. What was the point of living if you didn't have someone to live for?

Her grip loosened.