Okay guys, I haven't seen the fourth or fifth seasons of Angel, but I do know that Cordelia just recently died after being in a coma. And since I'm just now getting caught up on what's been happening since I'm watching the reruns of Angel on TNT, this idea hit me when I found out about Cordy. And don't worry. Across Time is too close to being completed for me to give up on now. I am going to finish it. And soon. Within a week or two. But this idea hit me and I couldn't get it out of my head.
Title: Second Chance
Rating: Pg-13 to mild R
Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own the characters of either Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. If I did, things would be going majorly different.
Summary: After her death, Cordelia is offered a second chance at a different life in another dimension.
Dedication: To the casts of Angel and BtVs, past and present. Your shows were inspirational. They made me laugh, they made me cry. They will be sorely missed. And to Glenn Quinn and David Boreanaz. You two are, and in Glenn Quinn's case, were, the reasons that kept me watching. Your acting is, or was, phenomenal. I'll never forget you.
She'd been in a coma for so long that they'd started to lose hope. And then, as if a miracle had taken place, there she was, looking at Angel, talking to him. And then she was gone and the phone was ringing, a doctor was telling him that Cordelia was dead. That she wasn't ever coming back. And he knew then that her spirit had come to tell him goodbye.
Burying her was the hardest thing they'd ever done. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. Even Angel cried. He was inconsolable. Until late one stormy night. When, as he and the remainder of the Fang Gang worked on a case, as if she had to tell the rest of them goodbye as she had Angel, Cordelia returned.
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"Cordelia Chase."
Cordelia looked around the white chamber that she stood in. "Who's there? Who are you? Where am I? I'm supposed to be dead."
A glowing figure dressed in white swept into the room. "I am an Oracle. You are in the chamber of the Powers that Be. And yes, you are dead. Physically. But yet, your soul, your spirit, your essence lives on."
"Why? I said goodbye. I let go. Why won't they just let me rest?"
"They will, if that is what you choose to do. But another path lies before you, Seer. You have another, last choice to make. To return to Heaven and live eternally there, or to travel to another dimension. Live your life a second time."
"What do you mean, live my life a second time?"
"In another dimension, you are in a coma as well. The damage done to your brain by the Beacon is irreparable. There is nothing we can do to repair it. And yet, it is not the time for you to die there. It was the time for you to die in your dimension. In order to restore the balance that her early death would throw off, we offer you the chance to be replaced into your nineteen year old body and live again."
"Would I die at twenty four again too?"
"Possibly. That we cannot say. Choices will be made; things will be done differently. You may die sooner, you may live many more years."
"Hold on, did you say that the Beacon put me in a coma? But Doyle died from the Beacon. I wasn't even hurt."
"Ahh, yes. In your dimension the Messenger did die. In the dimension you have the choice to travel to, the Messenger did not die. She stopped him from making the sacrifice. He still lives, as does the vampire."
"So, wouldn't the balance be right if I died?"
"No. The Messenger wasn't supposed to die in your dimension. All three were supposed to live. That is why Connor was sent to you, to restore the balance. We fear that without you to anchor the vampire, he might not return to the side of good were we to allow the same thing to happen once again."
Cordelia took a deep breath. A second chance to discover what would have happened. A chance to find out if the feelings she had once had for Doyle were really real, or if they had just arisen after his death. A chance to pursue possibilities. A chance at a full life, where she grew old, had children, a home, a family. There wasn't really a choice to it. It was an opportunity to experience what had once been taken away from her.
"I'll do it. On one condition."
"This is not a negotiation."
"I just want to tell them all goodbye. To explain what I'm doing. Why I'm doing it."
The Oracle paused only seconds. "All right. You have one hour to be with them."
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"Cordelia?" Angel whispered hoarsely. "Is it really you?"
"Yeah, it's me. Corporeal and all." Cordelia said, reaching for him. She took him in her arms, held him close for a long minute. "But I've only got about an hour, so I have to make this fast."
"Why are you here? You already said goodbye."
"Yeah, I did. But just to you. And this is a different kind of goodbye."
"What do you mean, a different kind of goodbye?"
"I'm leaving. And not in the duh sense. I'm dead, but I'm not going to stay that way. Does that make any sense?"
"You're going to be a Higher Power again?"
"No. I'm going to another dimension. They're giving me a second chance. Cordelia's life, take two. You know. It was my time to die here, guys. Remember that. I've done all the good I can do. Lived through as much as I can take. There's nothing left for me to do here. But where I get to go, I'm dying prematurely. Remember the Beacon, Angel? And Doyle?"
Angel nodded. "I haven't thought about him in forever."
"Remember how he was in love with me?"
Connor coughed. "Sorry to interrupt, but who's Doyle?"
Cordelia smiled at Connor. "The man who preceded Wesley. He passed the damn visions onto me when he died. I don't think he even meant to. He just wanted to kiss me once before he died. Anyway, in the dimension where I'm dying, I stopped Doyle from shutting off the Beacon, did it myself. And now I'm in a coma with irreparable brain damage. It isn't my time to die there, just like it wasn't his time to die here."
Angel was looking thoughtful. "So why didn't they send another him here?"
"Because they gave you Connor to balance the scales. But they're afraid that the other you, without a me, might go evil and stay evil. Therefore they aren't going to send the other you a Connor. They're sending the other you another me."
Fred seemed to be the only one that made perfect sense to. She walked over, hugged Cordelia tightly. "What are you going to do when you get there?"
Cordelia turned to Angel. "I love you. I hope you know that." She told him tenderly. "And I know that you love me. But we both know that I couldn't ever have your whole heart, and you couldn't ever have my whole heart. And maybe a large majority would have been enough, but we both know that we both have people that could, at least, maybe get our whole hearts."
Angel laid his hand against the side of Cordelia's face. "Doyle?"
Cordelia nodded. "All we had were possibilities, and then the stupid Irishman had to go and let the giant Christmas tree ornament of death kill him before I ever got to find out if there was anything but possibilities. And you'll always love Buffy, no matter what. She's your soul mate. The one you were made to be with. I realize that now."
Angel leaned down; kissed Cordelia so tenderly that it nearly made her cry. "If it helps, I really did think that I could love you the same way I love her."
"I know. I hoped that too. But let's face it, Angel, we aren't meant to be, at least not in this dimension. We're best friends and I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before, but I have to find out if what I may have been able to have with Doyle is the kind of love that you have with a certain blonde Slayer. Promise me you won't let her go. Promise me you'll tell her about the Shanshu. I want you to be happy."
"I don't know if any of us can be happy without you."
"You'll manage. And at least, this way, you know I'm not dead. I'm just living out a possibility with an Irish half demon that claimed to be in love with me. Yeah, I'll be in another dimension, but there'll be a you, and a Fred and a Wesley and a Gunn and a Lorne. I will miss you though, Connor." Cordelia said, hugging him. "We had it rough, but we got through."
"It was trying at times. But you're right, we did make it through. I'll miss you Cordy."
Cordelia's eyes were filling with tears. "I love all you guys. Just remember that, wherever I am, I'm happy, and alive. And I want you all to be happy too. We all deserve a bit of happiness."
Gunn was the next to hug Cordelia. "You've always been a bit like my sister, Cordy. I'm not liable to get over you leaving us. I'll miss you, girl."
"I'll miss you too. But I'll be watching you. At least, one of me will be. Try not to miss me too much."
Giving them the chance to say goodbye, to know where Cordelia was ending up, it made the pain a little more bearable. Made letting her go a little easier. Knowing that she had a second chance at an opportunity she'd only been able to get a glance of almost made it worth it. She was going to be happy. Going to live a life worth living where she wasn't at the end of her ropes, or on the verge of an emotional breakdown.
And then, it was time for her to go. Cordelia felt a faint tugging. Reached to give everyone a last hug, and tell them all goodbye. Then, with little ceremony, she was gone. Just disappeared. It was better that way. Easier than seeing her fade little by little. She was just gone, and they all knew that they wouldn't ever see her again. At least, not in that dimension.
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"Are you ready, Seer?"
"I'm ready. Tell me how this is going to work."
"You will wake up in the body of your nineteen year old self. Some things will be different, but you will have all the memories that the second version of yourself made, just like you will know all you need to know about what happened in your first life. You won't remember everything, but you will remember some, why you're there, what happened differently up to that point in the other dimension. Any memory that isn't meant to be repeated, or involving people that do not or no longer exist from the point of your reentrance will be erased. You will not remember the son, nor anything having to do with him, you will not remember the demon child you gave birth to, nor what happened with the Groosalug in Pylea. Any questions?"
"Can I tell them?"
"Why would you want to? Just pick up your life, youngling. Do what you never got a chance to do. Live life as life was meant to be lived."
"All right. Send me back."
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Doyle looked up at Angel. "What should we do, boss? The doctors say she ain't ever gonna wake up."
"Are you asking me if we should take her off life support?"
Doyle shook his head. "She's still breathing on her own. She's just in a vegetative state. I'm asking what we should do. Take her home? Turn her over to the state?"
Then, another voice joined the conversation. "How about come over here and give her a hug?" Cordelia rasped, opening her eyes. What a trip. She felt like she'd just run a marathon, then got run over by a bus. And then, she was being hugged from both sides by a broody vampire, and a borderline alcoholic half demon. "Hey, can't breathe. What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"
Doyle answered. "You stopped the Beacon, Princess. Then you got caught in the explosion. It put you in a coma. They told us you'd never wake up, that the brain damage was too great."
"Well then, either they lied or the Powers just really like me." Cordelia said, and then, moving quicker than anyone thought she could in her condition, reached out and grabbed Doyle by the lapels of his shirt, dragged him in close, kissed him fiercely. And a blue light passed between them as she returned his visions. But even after the vision return was complete, she didn't end the kiss, and neither did he. They only pulled away when Angel coughed uncomfortably.
"What was that for?" Doyle asked, and Cordelia smiled.
"Just taking an opportunity I was afraid I'd never get to have." She said cryptically.
