Chapter 1

A soft tear from my eyes landed on one of the lilies' soft white pedals as I laid the bouquet of lilies on her grave. I stood up from my kneeling position beside the tombstone and took a long hard look at the grave. Lilies' were her favorite flower. It seems kind of ironic now that they are the flowers of death. Another tear fell from my eyes. I could no longer hold in my pain. I fell to my knees and began to sob over her resting-place.

Five years ago today Satine left the world and me, forever. Her last words still echoed in my head, "That way I will always be with you." I miss her sugary sweet voice, her long flowing hair, the touch of her skin. She was my first love, my only love. I tried to meet other women, but I still can't get over Satine. Not that I want to get over her, I still love her even if she's not here with me physically.

I stood up, brushed myself off, wiped my eyes, and slowly trotted home. I thought of Satine the whole way home, but then again; I always seem to be thinking of Satine. I took the long way home just so I wouldn't have to pass the Moulin Rouge. I haven't been able to be near that place since her death. It just brought back to many memories that I didn't want to remember.

When I entered my house I collapsed on the bed, caught once again in a mad storm of tears. Satine wouldn't want me to be like this, she would want me to be happy when I thought of her, not like this. But I can't help but break down when I think of her. I got up and headed over to my typewriter, still sobbing, and began to type. My writing has suffered greatly in the last five year. I can no longer find it in myself to write happy love stories with happily ever after endings. It seems like all I can write now are sad, stories with doomed endings. However, today I will try to write a story about love, the way it was meant to be. Only, where do I begin?