Title: Elevators

Author: Little Horatio

Warning: filled with humor…lots and lots of humor…BEWARE!!

Summary: Ever wondered what else you can do with an elevator? Our CSIs did…including Stetler!

Disclaimer: As much as I don't want to admit it…I don't own CSI: Miami…or your soul…

Author's Note: Now…where to begin? Oh, yeah! This new fic I made came up when my little sister, kiuna'yukina and yours truly got bored. We had an idea and decided to entertain ourselves with the help of Mr. Elevator. We did all kinds of nonsense inside the stupid thing and made a complete fool of ourselves, especially me (a janitor saw me doing something stupid). What did I do, you ask? Secret! Don't frown! Of course, I won't tell you! That would spoil everything!

Okay, moving on. I had a tiny problem posting this fic because of a certain SOMEONE I know who wouldn't stop COMPLAINING and keeps on DISTRACTING me every chance she gets whenever I bring up the damn topic! (Clears throat) Like I said, we—WE! YOU HEAR ME, KIUNA'YUKINA?!—had the idea about the elevator thing and we've been bickering about who gets credit for it once I ("EYE!") post it on I think I should get credit for this--SHUT UP, KIUNA'YUKINA! I'M NOT FINISHED! Mainly because, I came up with everything and wrote, well, everything…and, uh…she didn't. HA! HA!

But (and that's a big BUTT!)…out of the goodness of MY heart, I'll let her take all the credit. Why, you ask? Simply because I'm a good and thoughtful friend who will do anything to make a certain SOMEBODY OUT THERE happy without, at all, hesitating. That's me; give and give, that's all I do.

No, seriously, you guys, all joking aside, Kiuna'yukina does deserve some credit. Without her, I would be bored out of my skull and wouldn't be able to make all of the stories you seem to be enjoying. She gives me her laughter and support, and, most of all, her ever-loving smile…I love that WACKO!

Ooops! I've taken too much of your time! Sorry! And…ENJOY!!

Main Characters: Horatio Caine, Rick Stetler, Calleigh Duquesne, Timothy Speedle, Eric Delko, Ryan Wolfe, Alexx Woods, and Dan Cooper.


Chapter 1: Misbehavior

The two CSIs came through the doors of MDPD together and, after a few smiles and exchange of usual morning greetings, they continued their way to the elevator.

Eric frowned.

"What's with the face, Eric?" asked a curious Calleigh, an amused smile escaping her lips.

"I was just thinking," he said with a shrug, indicating that there wasn't anything wrong.

"About what?"

"Elevators," he said while looking right at one. He turned to Calleigh and sees the look she gives him. "Well…haven't you ever wondered what else we can do with them?

"I never really bothered thinkin' about somethin' like that," she said, then begins to ponder. "I just saw elevators as machines that transports either equipment or people."

They both got on the elevator as it opened its welcoming doors. Eric pressed the number of the floor which was the crime lab while he kept on thinking about how to make other uses for the famous and yet oh so boring elevator.

Then, it hit him.

"Want to find out what else we can do with this elevator?" asked Eric, wearing a big grin on his face. "Right now?"

Calleigh recognized the mischievous glint shining in his brown eyes and couldn't help but grin back.

"Why not?"

With that, Eric—with lustful eyes and a toothy smirk—cornered Calleigh. He placed his hands on her hips and gently pushed her back, causing her to accidentally hit the emergency stop button…his body pressing against hers.

They both smiled broadly at each other as they felt the elevator come to an immediate stop while they stared deeply at each other's eyes, lips centimeters away.

People who were waiting at the Crime Lab floor began to stir as they perceived the bleeping noise and became aware of the blinking red lights of the elevator and the fact that the machine abruptly halted.

Some were starting to get worried and started to ask questions.

"What happened?"

"What's going on?"

"I think there's a problem, don't you?"

By the time they were about to get answers, the bleeping noise and the blinking lights stopped and faded.

After a few seconds, the elevator dinged and opened its doors to let its early passengers out to their desired floor. And out came a disheveled ballistics expert, buttoning her blouse and then fixing her tousled blonde hair, while being followed by an expert diver who was hastily putting on his long-sleeved shirt with his unbuckled belt making a clanging noise as they swayed limply from his unbuttoned denims and half-closed zipper.

The empty elevator slowly closed its doors and lowered itself down as the police officers, lab techs, visitors and investigators silently gaped at the two who just got out and walked away like nothing obscene and unexpected had happened.

Images—DIRTY IMAGES—began pouring out of their minds like a category 5 storm. Of course, nobody confessed to such an act, albeit they hinted everybody did.

Unbeknownst to the gullible group of unclean minds, Calleigh had a really big problem of keeping a straight face, and so did Eric. Hurriedly and inconspicuously, they increased their pace and headed straight to the locker room.

Still a few feet away, Calleigh couldn't help but ask, "You think they fell for it?"

"Who wouldn't?" sniggered Eric quietly while keeping up with her and buttoning his shirt.

The second they entered the locker room, the two burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter as they recalled the looks on the faces of their victims as they walked out the elevator, looking like they had just made out.

"We should do this more often," Eric blurted out once the laughter subsided. He glanced at Calleigh.

She gave him a smile, knowing what was really on her fellow CSI's mind. She remembered the look on his face when she unbuttoned the top of her blouse and messed up her hair when they were inside the elevator, "misbehaving."

"You wish, Delko."


Little Horatio: So…how was it? I have a lot more to give if you guys are up for it. Chapter 2, 3, and 4 are all waiting for their moment of glory. Just let me know if you guys want more, and I'll gladly post it.

Hey, kiuna'yukina!! There! I kept my promise! They're all there!

How's Irene, Kevin and the beaver doing? Bored to death yet? I'm not! (Heh). Good luck with your Filipino Thesis papers!! I know you guys can do it!! I'm too lazy to make mine, so…YAY!