The Grey Warden drew her knees up against her armored chest and leaned back against the tree stump. Beside her, smeared with dirt, her helmet lay next to her sheathed long sword. For a moment Leliana fancied that the Warden looked like a mythical hero from a painting, recovering from an epic battle, which she technically was doing. Sweat streaks had carved a path through the blood and dirt that caked her face. Her red hair had pulled part of the way out of her plait on the right side, falling forward to shadow her eye and obscure the tips of her pointed ears. Slumped in her gore-stained armor, she looked smaller and almost vulnerable – the idea which came on Leliana from nowhere almost mad her laugh out loud, there was nothing vulnerable about the Grey Warden who had acted like a raging hellcat since the bard had joined her in Lothering.
Something about her was magnetic to Leliana, though, not that she would ever have imagined a woman with such easily compromised morals and outsized temper could have had that affect on her. Maybe it was because at quiet moments like this, Leliana could see the light track of scars that ran down her neck to disappear into her armor and she could imagine the many scars that lay on the Warden's soul. Growing up in Denerim's squalid Alienage was not a recipe for docility, at least not for those that successfully escaped.
Maybe it was because at louder moments, Leliana felt totally safe beside the Warden, even surrounded by a sea of Dark Spawn, she knew that none would make it through. It had not escaped her carefully trained notice that when things seemed particularly bad, the Warden always found a way to place herself between Leliana and the worst danger. They had never discussed that odd tendency or what it meant. It remained, like so many things, between them -- unspoken. The Warden seemed so distant and untouchable, shielded by sarcasm and a manner of carefully trained aloofness, that it was hard for Leliana to even use her name inside her thoughts, Alexa; it was tantalizing, a symbol of the intimacy that Leliana craved despite her better judgement.
***
Alexa looked up just in time to catch Leliana turning away quickly. From her peripheral vision, she had seen the bard studying her with her luminous eyes. If all of the strength had not been drained from her limbs by another in a long succession of seemingly hopeless battles, she would have invited the other woman over to sit beside her. It was a dangerous idea that Alexa needed to put from her mind, she knew that. Drawing someone as fragile and beautiful as Leliana to her would only result in her destruction. No matter how well their expedition into Orzammar went, or the success of her growing army, this adventure could only end badly. She ran her forearm across her forehead, doing little but smearing the grime further.
"You look like you could use a bath and a rest," a kindly voice commented over her shoulder. She tilted her head back, of course it was Wynne. If she didn't hop up quickly she would probably be treated to a long motherly lecture about cleanliness. The mage set her teeth on edge almost every time she spoke, which had the added benefiting of making Alexa feel a little better about growing up motherless. "Alistair found a clear stream over on the other side of the rocks. No one else is bathing right now, if you need your privacy."
"Privacy", Alexa snorted, pushing off the stump to stagger to her feet. Zevran had been sniffing around her bedroll of days and it wouldn't surprise her if he found a way to accidentally stumble on her bath. Her modesty was hardly her primary concern however, but she worried what Leliana might think if it looked as if she had taken a fancy for the Crow. The slowly building connection between her and the Orlesian bard was inexplicably important to her and somehow she instinctively knew that it was a delicate thread that bound them. Something inside Leliana had been damaged and it had made her almost shy, like a frightened horse. It was selfish to preserve it, knowing as she did that she could not in good conscience (What was that anyway?) act on it, but a little selfishness now and then was not the end of the world. It was, to Alexa's mind, the only way to survive in a world covered in blood and shit.
***
Piece by piece Alexa slipped her armor off; stooping first she unlaced and kicked off her boots, then unbuckled the tooled leather greaves whose pattern of leaves and vines matched the bracers she wiggled out of next. The buckles that held her chest piece and its connected mail skirt caught. She spun around and around, a little like a dog chasing its own tail, as she tried to get leverage. The metal buckles had been bent badly by a bruising shot of maul to the ribs she had taken earlier. At her angle, Alexa could not hope to force the leather straps through the metal. For a long moment she stood and stared down at her side, seething with anger then without any warning she punched the rock beside her. The surprising shock of pain as her knuckle bones ground against the unforgiving stone elicited a shout of pain and frustration. What to do? What to do?
At this particularly trying time, Leliana scrambled up and into view over the rocks that shielded the stream from the view of the rest of the camp. Alexa tensed up, becoming perfectly still -- like an embarrassed statue.
"Oh," Leliana breathed in surprise as she caught sight of the frustrated half-dressed Warden staring at her, eyes widened slightly. "I thought I would wash up before dinner. I didn't realize you were here." Her accent made everything she said seem soft, almost comforting, and despite herself Alexa relaxed a little.
"I'm stuck," she replied, gesturing at her buckles helplessly.
***
It was not exactly an accident that Leliana appeared when she did, but as much as she tried, she couldn't feel guilty about the minor subterfuge. After all, minor subterfuge was Leliana's stock in trade. While busy scheming (in the most innocent way possible, she reassured herself) a way to have a private conversation with the Warden, she had heard the valiant struggle. It was an opportunity Leliana couldn't pass up. For weeks, she laid alone in her bedroll near the fire, dreaming heatedly of the Warden's lithe frame and the heat of her skin. With the chance to see her, be near her, in such a private way all of the propriety she had learned in the Chantry flew directly out of the window. She scrambled over the rock with alacrity.
Below her was a breathtaking sight. The Warden's red hair was loose around her shoulders and she was barefoot without her sword belt and greaves, standing still like a frightened deer beside a stream dark in the moonlight.
When Alexa gestured, offering her problem to Leliana, something inside of her twisted. The moonlight seemed more intense. The blood in her veins felt hotter. Every breeze sent electricity into her belly. Leliana was on fire. She was afraid to reach out and touch the armor, afraid if she brushed against the Warden she might accidentally set her on fire.
Her dexterous fingers suddenly lost their usual cleverness. The buckles were broken and without touching the Warden directly, she could not gain the leverage to pry them apart. Gingerly, not even looking over at the woman beside her, she braced one hand on her shoulder and with the other she pulled on the leather straps one after the other, prying the metal back until she could just barely slip them free. "There," she murmured in triumph, taking a step back.
Without even realizing it, she let her eyes trail up the shapely legs while Alexa undressed, not offering her any privacy. When did I become so brazen? She asked herself. It was certainly uncharacteristic of her. For her part, the Warden didn't seem to notice. In a few minutes she stood in her arming tunic and Leliana lost her nerve, turning around. A soft splash alerted her to the fact that the Warden must have dived into the stream. Just the mental image of the sinewy elf, naked, water cascading over her was enough to stop Leliana's heart. The heat inside her was building so intensely that beads of sweat were breaking out along her forearms. Now or never. Now or never.
"Mind if I join you?" she asked over her shoulder, too nervous to even glance behind her.
"I don't own the stream. Lowly elf like me, all I own is my sword. You're welcome to some water if you want," the Warden called, a tone of –mocking?—laughter in her voice. "You do look awful warm though, the back of your neck is really red. You better cool off."
Did she know? Leliana gritted her teeth. What if she knew? What did she think of it? The bard had been many places and seen many things, but she was forced to admit that like most humans, she had never focused on the elves that surrounded her, doing all the menial work of society. What sorts of beliefs they held, or view they had, she couldn't even hazard a guess.
"They didn't teach you how to bathe in the Chantry?" the Warden called again. Obviously Leliana was taking too long. Without further delay and with her eyes firmly shut, she shrugged off her robes.
"They didn't teach you manners in the Alienage?" She shot back defiantly before turning to walk slowly into the cool stream water. She kept her eyes fixed in front of her, mostly to avoid bursting into flames by catching sight of stray elf flesh, but also to avoid cutting her foot or twisting her ankle on the wet stones along the bed of the stream.
***
Alexa was only capable of being flip until the brown robe slid off of Leliana's smooth white shoulders. Her tongue immediately caught in her mouth and she was relieved that half-submerged in the dark the blush that was spreading from her face down her neck would not be visible. Silhouetted against the full moon, Leliana's form was exquisite. The grace with which she walked slowly into the water, accentuating the length of her elegant legs, only drew Alexa's eyes higher across the taut plain of her stomach and then higher. She was carved from ivory, perfect and smooth, round.
Maker preserve me, Alexa prayed for the first time in her life before ducking her head into the water. The bracing temperature cleared her head just enough to allow some doubt to crawl its way in. Leliana was in the Chantry and surely they didn't approve of this sort of thing. As far as Alexa had managed to ascertain the Chantry only approved of the Chantry and maybe Templars. Leliana probably meant to innocently bathe, and would undoubtedly be utterly shocked to realize to what distant realms her presence had caused Alexa's mind to wander to. Surely the Maker had not intended to create such perfect, pert breasts if he had not intended for them to be viewed and enjoyed.
She must have been under longer then she realized, trying hard to banish the vivid thoughts, because Leliana was roughly jerking her to the surface. "Are you alright?" She sounded frantic.
Alexa stood up immediately at the feel of Leliana's hands on her shoulder. Her action brought them face to face, both of them naked wet and more than a little excited (for a myriad of reasons). "You scared me half to death," Alexa worked to summon her usual sarcastic tone in hopes that it might create enough distance between them to allow her to catch her breath, but nothing could change the fact that she stood less than six inches from the soft body that had been tormenting her dreams since Lothering.
"I thought you were…" Leliana trailed off lamely and withdrew her hands quickly, like she had been burned. Hurt and confusion flashed in her eyes, immediately making Alexa regret her tone.
"Thought I was drowning myself?" She tried to lighten her voice. "Admittedly, you nearly killed me. I was submerging myself to try to save myself from the peril." Where did that come from? Alexa had been far more forward then she intended, but now that the words were out, she decided to stick to a more flirtatious tone. Even if it offended the bard, at least it wouldn't hurt her feelings.
"Killed you? I don't know--- I mean, I haven't got a clue" Leliana stuttered. A blush marred her cheeks, causing her eyes to sparkle with a nearly feverish light. Something about the guilty tone to her voice, alerted Alexa. All was not as it appeared. Maybe she was imagining what she wanted to see, but surely Leliana didn't seem embarrassed because Alexa's comment had struck a chord.
***
Something had changed in the atmosphere between the two women, Leliana knew that there was more behind the Warden's words then the other woman would willingly admit. It sat between them to either be shrugged off as a joke or picked up tentatively to be explored. Best to come at the problem from an angle, she decided, in case things were somehow not as they appeared.
She reached one hand out of the water and with her graceful, well-trained fingers traced the scars that so fascinated her from below Alexa's ear down her neck (delicately, delicately) and across her collarbone to the point where they terminated at the beginning of the swell of her pert breasts. The calluses from years of musicality tickled against the Warden's skin, but she didn't protest. Instead she stood completely still, breathing deeply and looking everywhere that wasn't the beautiful woman touching her.
"It looks like you—" Leliana was about to suggest an attack by a large bear, when she was interrupted sharply by the Warden.
"Were all cut up by some human nobles for being uppity," Alexa offered sharply and then without any warning ducked back into the water, disappearing below the surface. The elf must swim like a fish, or have gills, Leliana mused, since she stayed under so long. The burst of red hair broke the surface further down the stream. It streamed, wet and slick, down the elf's perfect back. It seemed now that the space between them was wider than it had ever been. Leliana had failed again and the sick feeling this though elicited in the pit of her stomach reminded her painfully of Marjolaine.
What would it take to apologize? She had never considered that possibility, it should have been obvious though, the Warden had lived a hard life. Elves in the Alienage rarely lived easy lives and the path of a Grey Warden was hardly comfortable. The sarcasm was a shield that the Warden had drawn up around her. How could anyone hope to break through it?
The elf seemed to be ignoring her now, the muscles in her shapely back contracted as she began scrubbing the gore vigorously from her arms. After a moment she ducked under the water again, reemerging with a handful of sand to work against her shoulders.
***
She hadn't meant to sound quite so bitter, really she had meant it to be more offhand. She had intended to impress with her ability to shrug off life's little defeats. Little? Three skilled noblemen's sons with swords and she with her first knife; it was a wonder the fading scars that puckered her otherwise fine complexion were all that she escaped that scrape with. Not that the men had been so lucky. Leliana didn't seem impressed. Rather, she seemed stricken. So Alexa had given her space to recover herself, but that had only seemed to make matters worse. The tension between them had taken on a different feel, as if the temperature had changed. The heat was going out to be replaced by a terrible cold stillness. Still, Alexa resolutely scrubbed. If the bard didn't have the stomach to handle the reality of Alexa's life, better to know that now. But, she reminded herself, a little selfishness now and then was what made a life like hers occasionally bearable and Leliana was certainly not the sort of woman to reach out and take things, no matter how obviously proffered.
"You can keep staring," Alexa could feel Leliana's eyes on her back as she scrubbed, "Or you can come help. I can't reach my back and I sweated something awful down my spine this afternoon".
