"It is a big deal, Alex!" Jo exclaimed as she threw off her coat and stalked up the stairs. "You know what? I don't have the energy to fight with you on this. Not tonight."

Alex stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching her with a confused expression. He couldn't remember her ever walking away angry like this. Ever. He replayed the day trying to determine what exactly had set her off, but just got more and more confused.

He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time and quickly walked into their room. She had already changed into sleep clothes and was taking off her watch, "You wanna at least tell me what exactly I did wrong?"

She looked up at him with fire in her eyes, "If I have to explain it to you, then I'm just gonna get even angrier Alex, cause I swear if you don't know..."

"I don't!" He snapped as Jo glared at him. They stood in silence for a beat before Alex sighed, "Look, I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong."

Jo gave a humorless chuckle, "Why are you acting like you want to fix this? Because you constantly act like you don't care."

Alex crossed his arms, "Where the hell do you get that idea?"

Jo squirted some lotion into her hands and slammed the bottle back on the nightstand, "You've been ignoring me for the better part of five months. You don't see me. It's like I'm just here, taking up space. Like I'm just existing in this relationship instead of growing in it. You are so distant. If I didn't know any better I would think you were having an affair."

"That's what you think?"

"That's how I feel! You give Meredith Grey more attention than you give me!"

"That's not..."

"Yes it is!" She took a calming breath, "I ran the ER for the first time today and I kicked ass at it. I didn't have to call for help. Not once. I managed a crazy day all alone and when I was done all I wanted to do was celebrate. I've been so down about Steph finding her footing and her specialty while I feel like I'm falling behind. I needed a good day and I got it. But then I couldn't share it with my boyfriend because he was busy. And I'm tired of it. I can't keep doing this, Alex. I can't."

He stood in silence with a stiffened posture, "What are you saying?"

She sighed and looked down, "I don't know. I don't know what to do. Let's just go to sleep."

He yelled out desperately, "No!"

She looked up quickly at his outburst, "No? Alex, I'm tired and I don't have any fight left in me. Just forget it, okay?"

He rounded the bed quickly, "Jo, please tell me what to do. Or what I did."

Jo's eyes widened, "You once again put Grey above me. Why? Did she have to cry about how she really loves neuro and may have made a mistake giving it up for her marriage that's now crumbling?"

"How did you..."

"She said something to that effect to Steph. Alex, I swear I'm not trying to be the bitch girlfriend that comes between her guy and his best friend."

"I know that."

"But I need you. I get that you're her person, but you're also mine. I need you. Today was a huge day for me. It made me think about going into trauma and all I wanted to do was see what you thought about it, and to share that moment with you, but it's like you don't think about me at all anymore."

"That's not true."

"You think about me when we're here alone and that's only when Grey doesn't show up." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, "I can't live like this anymore, Alex. It's not working for me."

Alex stood stunned at her words, "You can't mean that, Jo."

"Do you ever wonder why their marriage is falling apart?" She glanced to Alex, who stood in silence, "I think it's that she's always looking for her number one in someone else. She never goes to him first. That seems so wrong. He should be her person or whatever. She told you about her sister before she told her husband. I don't want that and I definitely can't compete with that."

Alex quickly approached her and reached for her hand, "Hey, you are my number one."

She quickly looked away, "Alex..."

"I mean it. My dad...deciding to go into private practice...both times you were the one I talked to first. The only one I talked to. I need you, Jo. Please. Please don't go."

Jo's head shot up at this, "You think I want to leave?"

Alex narrowed his eyes, "Isn't that what you said?"

Jo shook her head quickly, "No!" They maintained a shaky eye contact for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, "Do you think I should?"

"No!" He felt his eyes warm with the first hint of tears and quickly pulled her into a tight hug, needing to feel her, "Jo, I can't imagine life without you here. You're it for me. I swear. If we need to move to get away from stuff, we can. I'll change my number too. Whatever." He felt himself relax at the sound of her quiet laugh and began stroking her back, "I love you and I need you. No one else comes close." He turned his head to kiss her temple, "I promise."

Her voice shook as she choked out in a hoarse whisper, "You don't know how much I needed to hear that." She pulled back and rested her forehead on his, "I love you so much it hurts, Alex. And that terrifies me and excites me, and gives me hope and fear all at the same time. And I hate that feeling. And sometimes I could really hate you for making me feel this way." She pulled back to look into his eyes as his hands reached up to cup her cheeks, "Sometimes when you ignore me for Grey or your other friends, I really resent you for making me miss out on being with you. Because I know what it's like for it to just be the two of us against the world, and how great it felt, so it's so hard for me to share you even though I know I have to. It just feels like I'm losing you." She bit her lip as her eyes watered, "I miss you so much." She slapped softly at his chest before hugging him close and burying her face in his chest, "Damn you for being so good."

Alex held her tightly, unsure of what to say, "I'm sorry Jo, I didn't know you felt that way."

She nodded slightly, "I'm sorry that I do. I just…"

He pulled away and looked into her eyes softly, "Stop. You deserve better. I'll work on it, okay? I swear. But for now..." He pulled her down to lay on the bed with him, her head nestled on his shoulder as he held her hand on the center of his chest and kissed her forehead, "Tell me about your day."