"Let's have fun," said the tall young werewolf to the beautiful vampire. Jacob Black had been fancying the woman for quite some time and was glad to be alone with her at last.
"What do you have in mind?" Victoria asked, arching a brow.
"I heard that my ex-girlfriend—Bella Swan—is having a party down at her place," Jacob said.
Victoria shook her head. "I don't think going there would be wise. Edward's still pissed at me for nearly draining that stupid cunt to death."
"Who cares what that pussy thinks?" Jacob stated. "Besides, Bella isn't mad at you for nearly killing her."
"That's because I've got something juicy on her," Victoria said, a sly smile spreading across her face.
"And what's that?"
"I don't know if I should tell you?"
Jacob grabbed her by the shoulders, intimidating her with his height. Damn, she's sooo hot. Unable to help himself, he pulled her against him and kissed her until they were both breathless.
Flushing, Victoria pulled away from Jacob. "I think you've got the wrong idea about me," she said.
"How so?"
"I'm a lesbian. And the big juicy secret I have on Bella is that she's a lesbian too."
Jacob nearly fainted. There was no way that Bella could be a lesbian. She'd been his girlfriend for Christ sakes. "You're lying. I've screwed Bella inside out. There's no way that she's a pussy lover. And she's dating Edward…."
"You mean Edwina." She folded her arms. "Didn't you ever wonder how it was that he was so beautiful? You can't possibly tell me that you've never asked yourself: why does he sparkle in the sun? Why does he always wear fire engine red lipstick? Why do his pants look painted on?"
"I thought it was a trick of the light. He wears lipstick? Yeah, his jeans are rather tight."
"So now you know the truth."
"I can't believe I never saw it before." Jacob's head fell into his hands. "I can't believe Bella's gay."
"I bet you're wondering if you're the reason she turned."
He nodded sadly.
"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but yes—you are the reason." Victoria slapped him on the back as a way of showing her sympathy. "Your tiny weenie is the reason Bella swore off dick for the rest of her life."
"It's not tiny—it's half-big," Jacob retorted angrily. "Moreover, it's not the size of the boat that matters, but the motion of the ocean."
