"Duchess Kryze, I wish that your way of doing things would work, I truly do. But they want you dead, simply talking to them will not work this time. They will not stop until you are dead. Please Satine, listen to me," Obi-Wan begs the woman he loves (She's not my girlfriend, and even if she were, it's really none of your business Anakin.)
"I'm sorry Obi, but I will not betray my beliefs." Obi-Wan turns and leaves the room, missing the sad, regretful frown Satine sends his way as he leaves. More than anything she just wants him to be happy, but she cannot give up everything she has worked so hard for, stop doing what she believes is best for her people. Not even for him.
An hour later the palace is stormed by the Death Watch.
"Master, given your emotional ties to this, perhaps I should be the one calling the shots?" Obi-Wan seems to debate this before acquiescing. (This should have been clue one, Obi-Wan never gives in that easy.)
"Yes, of course Padawan." (The use of the term Padawan was really clue two.)
The Death Watch closes in around them.
"So what will it be Padawan, shall we do as Satine would suggest, or shall we go into aggressive negotiations?" I think it over.
"Neither, our lightsabers won't work in here." (Clue three? Since when wouldn't they work on Mandalore? I really need to pay more attention.)
"Well what would you suggest then?" I'm silent again as I think, coming to the only logical decision left.
"FISH FIGHT!" Obi-Wan gives me a strange look like he can't quite work me out.
"An odd choice, but I did say you were in charge." (Clue four, if Obi-Wan doesn't agree, it doesn't happen.) Suddenly Obi-Wan pulls a fish out of his pocket and starts hitting members of the Death Watch with it, they too have fish and are fighting back with them.
"Anakin, we have a problem, they have Tuna, we only have Carp!"
"What? No, oh dear, no, I MEANT FIST FIGHT, FIST!"
"IT'S FAR TOO LATE FOR THAT PADAWAN, WE HAVE TO FINISH THIS! QUICK, THROW THE SALMON TO DISTRACT THEM!" Suddenly a fish hits me in the face, then another, and another.
"No! MASTER!" But there are too many fish, "OBI-WAN!" They've covered me, I can't see, they're everywhere, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I jolt upright.
"Ani?" Padmé asks from beside him, rubbing a hand up and down his back comfortingly.
"It-it was a dream?" She looks at him worriedly.
"Yes, just a dream. It didn't sound nice either, you were yelling out for Obi-Wan. What did you dream?" He looks at her as his breathing finally calms again, his loving wife. Surely he could talk to her about this seriously.
Five minutes later…
"Padmé stop laughing! I thought he was going to die! I thought I'd never see you or Obi-Wan or Ashoka again! I thought I'd never meet our child."
"Oh Ani. I'm sorry. That is horrible," She says, which would have been comforting, had she not still been low key snickering.
"You're the literal worst sometimes, you know that, right?"
"Oh you love me." He smiles at her.
"Yeah, I really do."
A month later they are arguing as they eat dinner, at her wits end Padmé picks up the first thing she sees and chucks it at him. On instinct, Anakin force swats it away, they both look over to see where it landed and notice that she'd thrown part of her dinner at him. After Padmé stops laughing so hard she's worried she may go into premature labour, and Anakin stops hyperventilating at the memories, they both agreed to never have Tuna again.
