A/n: This story assumes Sheik is male and is his own person. I also disregard teleportation via deku nut, lyre, or ocarina for the sake of the plot. I do not own the characters or places mentioned, only the plot line and 'humor'. WARNING: This story is extremely poor, I'm not an author by any stretch of the imagination. Sorry if it sucks. Cheers.

There were 3 factors that began the game and lead to Sheik's downfall.
First, Link discovered that Sheik had a nearly limitless patience. From the moment they'd first met in the Temple of Time, through awakening all of the sages, and defeating Ganon, Sheik had never so much as raised his voice at anyone. Oh there had been the odd time or two where he'd shouted for the Hero to get out of the way of oncoming danger, but not once in memory could Link recall Sheik's endless patience snapping. Even now in the relative peace of the post-war rebuilding, Sheik spoke in that same calm, detatched tone to both castle servants going about their day and self important dignitaries in a fury over political triffles.

Second, Link was an exceptionally curious man. Perhaps it had to do with being raised in a society of ageless children, or maybe it was thanks to spending several years solving and disarming countless puzzles and traps in the land's temples. Regardless, Link lived life trying to figure out each interesting conundrum he found. When Princess Zelda was officially sworn in as Queen Zelda, the first puzzle had been laws and politics. Both being entirely foreign to a Kokiri, Link went about learning all the nuances of law and order in Hyrule. Regretfully for him, that made the Hero of Time an excellent advisor for Her Majesty on a topic he eventually decided wasn't his favorite. The next greatest puzzle Link tackled was the Lost Woods, which lead to a rather long stint abroad in a land called Terminia, but eventually resulted in a rough map of the woods and a listing of strange worlds it connected to.

Link's current puzzle of choice, and factor number 3, would be Sheik's cowl. Sheik had worn that face covering through thick and thin; through war and injury, council meetings and sleep, he never took it off. At least, not where anyone could see. It was a matter of curiosity amoung the royal court, many wanted to know why he wore such a covering; if he had scars, a deformity, or if the Sheikah simply wore it to hide his expressions. One sunny morning Link decided enough was enough, and it was time to figure out why Sheik wore that cowl... and more importantly, what he looked like under it.

Link tried pretending to trip, grabbing for the cloth wrap to 'steady himself'. Sheik sidestepped away automatically, and forehead met stone floor.

Link tried 'accidentally' walking in on Sheik bathing. He didn't get the door open 3 inches before a throwing knife embedded itself in the door frame.

Link tried 'accidetally' splashing his face with a drink while on guard duty at a royal banquet. He simply accepted Links 'apologies', and stood there wet for the rest of the night.

Link tried to pinch Sheik's cheeks like an aunt would do to a favorite nephew. Giving the cowl a quick tug afterward only proved how tightly wrapped it was.

Link even tried pretending to have drowned in the creek, to see if the Sheikah would lower the damn cloth to resuscitate him. He certainly did try... through the cowl.

The Hero of Time was begining to grow despirate, surely Sheik would become wise to this game if he persisted and failed much longer. A last ditch brainstorming effort came up with one last idea... the Sheikah had to lower it to eat, right? He had to eat eventually, but unless he was stuck somewhere, he's just wait until alone. So then have food, and get stuck somewhere? Might as well try it, the Hero figured, but where could they get trapped or stuck that Link could 'rescue' them from once he'd seen Sheik eat? The Sheikah was even more mobile then him... and then it hit him, the perfect place! The words 'trapped' and 'stuck' were practically synonymous with the Water Temple. How to get Sheik into the depths of that place? Why, take him to see the room of endless fog near the end! That was right up the Sheikah's alley, and he hadn't ever actually been in there, to the best of Link's knowledge. This might just work, thought the Hero.
So the very next day...

"Good Morning Sheik!" The Hero called out, perhaps a bit too loud being only a few feet behind said Sheikah. Without missing a beat, Sheik glanced behind him giving the hero a small nod. A reply and subtle note on his volume choice, to be sure. Link sped up to walk beside him, and grinned in return.

"On your way somewhere this fine, fine morning?" A single eyebrow rose in question to Link's overly cheerful tone as Sheik continued on without pause. Moments later it returned to it's regular location, accompanied by a light huff, as Link continued silenty grinning at him waiting for a reply.

"What are you after, Hero?" He finally spoke, having caught on to Link's game weeks ago. Who wouldn't notice when a legendary hero started paying non stop attention to them?

"Hahahahaha!" Link laughed nervously, eyes widened in feigned innocence. Now to mention food of some sort... "After? Why, I'm not after anything! It's just a lovely morning is all, and you seem to be determined to be somewhere. I wonder why... wouldn't it be a lovely day for a picnic instead?" The thin eyebrow rose again, this time accompanied by rapid blinking. This ammounted to severe incredulity by Sheik's expressive standards.

"Hero, a-are you inviting me on a picnic?" Link, decided to roll with that one.

"Sure, why not! The sun is shinning, the birds are chirping. I bet Lake Hylia would be a great spot for lunch today." Sheik blinked slowly again, blonde bangs falling to the side as he tilted his head slightly. Well, he could accompany the Hero, no need to reveal his face to actually eat, so...

"I suppose," Sheik started as Link waited with baited breath. "that this could be done. I have a meeting with Her Highness in 10 minutes, but it should only last until 11 or-" Link cut him off.

"Great! I'll visit the kitchens and see if they can't make us a basket of stuff. I'll meet you outside the gates at 11:30, see you then!" Then the Hero was gone, off down a hallway with a backward wave and a jaunt in his step. Sheik continued walking to his meeting, no one around to see his blush.

"I will not approve this change to current regulations without further investigation into it's safety, Councilman Dillard. My decision on this is final." Stated Queen Zelda, with a defiant flick of her wrist at the offending herb sample on the table. Councilman Dillard attempted to resist grinding his teeth, as that would be immediately noticed by the annoyingly observant Sheikah to the Queen's side, and duly reported later. He tried an accepting smile instead, still hoping to push the Alchemist Guild's proposed changes through without spending more coin on research. If only that woman would keep her nose out of his business, he could make bank on cheaper, more easily acquired potion ingrediants.

"Of course Your Majesty, your wisdom guides us." Dillard forced out, trying for all he was worth not to send out any dissident signals for that forsaken red-eye to read. Zelda looked at him closely, and nodded gracefully.

"I'm glad you think so, Councilman Dillard. Now, if you will excuse us, I have other matters to attend to. I would be happy to speak of this again after you have new information to discuss." Dillard twitched slightly at her obvious emphasis on the word 'new'. He wouldn't have any 'new' information next time that would suit her, and he knew it. The councilman continued to smile on the outside, as a sudden headache came crawling into his head. The guild was getting impatient for results, maybe he could simply make something up... no, she would find out the truth eventually. Perhaps then, it was time to arrange for the stubborn woman to disappear. A fortune was at stake.

"Yes of course, Your Grace. I will impart your decision to the Guild." Dillard bowed deeply before exiting the chamber. Moments passed in quiet contemplation, neither of the remaning occupants moving.

"Sheik..." sighed Zelda "I believe that man means to kill me." Cowl-hidden lips smiled thinly.

"You're getting quite good at reading people, my Queen." Said royalty stood slowly, delicate fingers pinching the bridge of her nose in agitation.

"Yes, well, now I have to decide what to do with him." She replied, going to stand by the window. A plesant breeze rolled in, a few distant clouds floating on the horizon.

"Perhaps you should preemptively have Councilman DIllard assasinated himself?" Offered the Sheikah.

"Sheik!" Blue eyes turned to meet red, slighty more agrivated then before."I will not have a man killed for a crime he might be planning to commit, before he has even commited it." Her guard and friend huffed slightly before replying.

"I didn't think you would, but I had to try. We shall simply have to be aware and prepared for the attempt then. I will ask Impa to make sure our medicinals are all fully stocked and prepared... and not from Castle Town's Guild." Zelda blinked in suprise, before rolling her eyes and touching her knuckles to her forehead.

"I wish I could say I had thought of the possiblity that they would supply the castle with fake potions before an attempt on my life." A sigh. "Will supplies from Kakariko be safe, do you think?" Sheik tilted his head in consideration for a moment, then shook it.

"Probably, but we will likely keep a stock we've made ourselves on hand. I'm a fair hand at it. Perhaps not as quality as a true alchemist, but this way reliability is assured." Blonde, wavy hair bounced as she nodded an affirmative.

"Very well. Could you do me another favor? See if you can't destroy this season's growth of the plant they are trying to use as a cheap, ineffective replacement. It grows along Lake Hylia and the river coming from the desert. I think a limited supply of it may save more lives then just my own." Sheik smirked ever so slightly, thinking Link's earlier choice of a picnic location to be either highly ironic, or divine insight. Perhaps a bit of both. The smirk widened a tiny bit more. Of course, such was to be expected of the Hero of Time.

"Of course, I was on my way to the lake this afternoon regardless. I shall see about eliminating what of it I can." Curled fingers came up to tap at her chin speculatively as Zelda regarded the vaguely smirking man.

"You were? You hardly ever leave the castle. I'd hate to ruin your plans with this chore if you were taking a break for once..." Sheik shook his head again, moving toward the table.

"Don't worry over it, my Queen. Hero invited me to eat lunch at the lake. It will be a simple task for us to light a few plants aflame while out and about. I will ask Impa to attend you while I'm gone." At that the Sheikah pocketed the herb sample left behind by Dillard, and briskly made his way out of the hall... smiling. Presumably to warn Impa of impending assasination attempts and potion stocking plans, but Zelda watched him carefully as he left, intreguiged by his mannerisms. He was smiling so strangely while talking about Link... hm. Her thoughts trailed off as Impa walked in.

"Good morning Your Majesty. I hear we have a bit of trouble afoot?" Broken out of her revery, Zelda tapped her chin thoughfully once more before turning to Impa.

"Impa..." she began slowly, brows furrowed "I believe that man has a crush on him." White bangs fell to the side as Impa tilted her head, utterly confused.

"Ahh.. what? Who, my Queen?" Royal lips smiled slyly, looking off to the side, hands coming together in front of her dress. A sure sign that she was planning something. Impa regarded her silently.

"Oh, nothing. Nevermind. Are the antidote stocks acceptable at the moment? I would rather enjoy some lunch, right now in fact, and don't care to spend the evening being ill if it's poisoned." Impa nodded, following as Zelda began to leave the room.

"Yes. ...I have my private selection on me. Unless the Guild has come up with something particularly exotic we should be fine." They turned down the path toward the kitchens, Zelda walking strangely fast, and Impa taking the oppurtunity to begin surrupticiously weaving Sheikah spells of protection around her Queen.

"Excellent! Let's see if they have any vegitarian dishes today. The Zora ambassdors from last week just left, and the cooks haven't served anything besides their preferred fish based dishes since they got here."

The legendary hero had one hand curled around a small woven basket begining to overflow with edibles, and the other reaching out to a top shelf to grab a jar of preserved jam, when Zelda found him. He was hopping on one foot attempting to reach one of the elusive jars as they approaced. Impa sighed at his antics and moved him to the side with a nudge, using her greater height to procure Link's desired jam. Raspberry, evidentally.

"Thanks Impa! Hey, Zel what's up?" Impa's left eye twitched violently at the Hero's highly improper nickname for the Queen. Said Queen giggled at her guard's standard reaction and moved forward to give the swordsman an akward hug around the basket.

"Hello Link. I see you are packing lunch. I heard you are going to Lake Hylia with Sheik?" She smiled beautifully at him. Link not-so-steathily looked all around them before leaning in conspiritorily.

"Yeah, I'm trying to see if he takes off his cowl when he eats. He has to, right?" Impa's eye had another small episode at the mention of covert attempts to de-mask her fellow Sheikah. Zelda's smile widdened into a grin.

"What a good idea! You'll have to let me know if he does. In fact, I know his favorite kind of wine. Perhaps you should take a bottle or two?" Impa's other eye joined it's comrade in silent protest of the proceedings. Zelda's hands reclasped in front of her grown after stepping to the nearby wine racks to point out a particular year. The Sheikah's eyes narrowed, the Queen was definately up to something.

"Great, thanks for the tip!" Replied Link, replacing a bottle of some random white wine he had grabbed with the red dessert wine Zelda had indicated. Red eyes quickly scanned the label, and then narrowed suspiciously. "By the way, if we're gone for a day or two, would that be okay? I might have to try and to outlast his patience to not eat in front of me." Link added.

"No problem at all, the next few days shouldn't be too busy. Oh, by the way, there are some plants at the lake causing problems for me. I asked Sheik to get rid of some while he's down there, help him out would you?" Link dipped down to tie the basket knot closed. Impa stared at the Queen as she lied through her teeth.

"Sure thing, what does it look like Zel?" Link's hat slipped a little sideways as he rose back up.

"Sheik can show you when you get there, it's a leafy weed plant. Well I'm going to get something to eat now, best of luck!" Zelda patted Link on the shoulder, and turned away. Presumably to ask the cook for any form of food not involving fish. Link waved goodbye, and left the kichens. Impa turned to the Queen, who was now patiently awaiting vegitable curry.

"Your Highness, Sheik isn't particularly fond of wine, especially red wine, and the assasination attempt we're expecting..." Zelda's happy grin broke out into a cat-that-got-the-cream sort of grin.

"Yes, yes, I know, and It will be fine, you're here to protect me. You're equally or more qualified then Sheik at preventing an assasination, aren't you?" She replied cheekily. Impa's eyebrows furrowed downward slightly.

"Then, may I ask, why did you refer Link to that particular bottle?" Zelda's curry was promptly delivered by a serving boy, another girl following behind with the proper silverware, wine glasses, and side dishes to accompany any meal taken by their beloved ruler. When they left, Zelda leaned in toward her guard and whispered.

"Because that year is mislabeled. It is indeed a sweet dessert wine, but that batch sat in the fermenting tank a bit too long, and came out twice as strong as it should have. Father always favored it because the sweetness masked the extra kick. A little extra alcohol content is exactly what those two need." The Queen give Impa a slight waggle of her royal brows, and set into her curry with gusto, if perhaps a bit much for a lady such as herself. Impa resisted putting her face in her palms, just barely.

"I am not sure that would be very safe, Hero." Replied a very non-plussed Sheikah carrying a picnic basket and Link's pack. "Also, our lunch would get rather wet on the way in." He added.

"Nah! It'll be fine, I'll just cast a barrier of Nayru's Love around it so it'll stay dry." Offered the Hero before casting yet another Din's Fire, burning away one more circular patch of the field of offending herbs along the lake's north-western edge.

"That spell works as such? I wasn't aware. Wouldn't it take a rather long time to reach this room you would like to show me though?" he asked watching calmly as Link burned away another several yards of greenery, fewer of the plants remaining.

"Nahh, I know the way there pretty well, and all the doors are unlocked now. No monsters even! The room is completely worth the trip too, all foggy and mysterious, I think you'd like it." Red eyes regarded him curiously at the description of things that Link thought the other man would enjoy.

"Foggy and mysterious?" He asked. Why would the Hero think he enjoyed fog? Or mystery? He was rather a fan of clear weather and blue skies, like the color of Hero's eyes. At that thought Sheik fought back a light blush that dared to try and rise from behind his cowl. His efforts proved futile when Link began taking off his tunic. As the swordsman rose from the last needed cast of Din's Fire, he pulled off green tunic and white undershirt in one go, and turned to walk back to Sheik. Confronted with a serious faced, shirtless Link, sweaty skin glistening in the noon day sun from casting so many fire spells, the Sheikah froze in place; eyes wide like... well not quite like saucers, but close enough by Sheik standards. Not noticing, the Hero of Time trudged closer, dropping to a crouch at his feet to dig around in the pack Sheik had been carrying for him.

"A-are you looking for something, Hero?" Sheik silently cursed his rare tendancy to stutter when Link threw him for a loop. Twice in one day now was far too often for his taste.

"Yeah, I packed a couple of Zora tunics for us, trying to find them." He continued digging and Sheik forcibly composed himself.

"Ah, that's considerate of you, but I don't need one myself. My cowl is spelled similarly to a Zora tunic." Link suddenly looked up at him with the largest shit-eating-grin Sheik had ever seen on him.

"AHA! So that's why you wear that cowl!" The Hero cheered loudly. Sheik chuckled, about to burst his bubble and entirely aware of it.

"Ah no, that would just be an added benefit of it. If that was the main reason, I wouldn't wear it nearly so often, would I? I'm not exactly around swimmable water daily." Link's face fell so fast, the Queen's gaurd couldn't help but chuckle a little more. It was inexplicable how he went from shirtless, sexy Hero of Time to childishly crestfallen Kokiri in 5 seconds flat. Sheik's mind was still catching up to the fact that he'd mentally admitted to Link's attractiveness when said man had finished throwing on his Zora tunic, and had grabbed the Sheikah's hand to start pulling them toward the Water Temple enterance.

"Well now, this is rather impressive." Said Sheik appreciatively, slowly walking around the room of endless mist and drifting shadows as Link set up their picnic on the little island. He had been skittish about venturing away from the main walkway at first, but the Hero immediately notified him that the room was only so big. It was impossible to get lost, he had reassured, so Sheik wandered to the edges of the space; his Sheikah eyes taking in the enchantments and spells creating this little world. No sun or alternate light source, yet the world was lit softly in white. Drifting fog and shadow reduced visibility to a few feet, but it wasn't too muggy, nor too dry; not overly cold or hot either. Besides the ankle-deep, still waters that went on forever, Sheik was half considering spelling his own room in the castle like this.
In his distraction, he didn't even notice Link hitting the locking mechanism on the doors, and making sure he had a small key or two stashed away in his bag. Sheik would later blame it on the frosting-thick fog that permeated the air.

"Hey Sheik, come back! Let's eat!" The Queen's guard turned about and began walking toward the sound of Link's voice through the mist, arriving at the small island with the dead tree to find a resplendent display of picnic foods laid out, along with two glasses of red wine, and a lounging hero.
Sheik blinked. Then blinked again. After a third equally suprised blink, he made his way over to the lavish spread trying not to be so touched by Links effort; knowing full well that the Hero just wanted to win his game of de-cowling him. Link, on the other hand, was trying to do things the easy way. No need to be locked in here for days while Sheik's patience waned and his appitite grew if he would sit down and just eat like a normal person. Secretly, Link thought the odds of that happening were about one in a thousand. Instead of mulling over it anymore, he took another sip of wine. Man Zelda picked a good one! This red was so sweet...

"Hero, I appreciate the effort that went into this... meal." Sheik started akwardly.

"Thank you, I suppose." Not hearing a solem oath not to eat, Link beamed happily and gestured to the spread.

"Don't mention it! Let's eat!" So, trying to lead by example, the Hero of Time began unceremoniously stuffing his face.

Twenty minutes later, Link was horrified to discover that Sheik was able to easily loosen, adjust, and retighten his cowl; allowing for just a large enough gap for small bits of food to be popped through a gap in the wrappings. Sheik had eaten a whole meal, drank his half of the wine, and Link hadn't even gotten to see so much as his lips. A half second glimpse of a tongue was all he had to show for his efforts. The expression on the Hero's face was nearly catatonic, and made the Sheikah feel just a little bit sorry for him. The light conversation they had going over the course of the meal had all but died, until another twenty minutes passed by to reveal an entirely different situation... evidentally, Link was a lovey drunk; and Sheik was a slightly-louder-then-normal-speaking-volume drunk.

"Tha-a-ash not true! It was Zel that put the... the blue dye in his ssssshampoo, not me!" Exclaimed a mock offended Link, hand going to cover his heart in exaggurated theatrics.

"Hero... I think you are lying... hic!" Replied the Sheikah, causing his companion to pout. Sheik was too busy attempting to figure out why he had hiccuped in such an undignified manner to notice.

"I am not! It was all her idea... and, and, and... she snuck in the room to do it! I jusssst stood watch, ya know? Outside." Red eyes rolled, still not beliving a word of it, before searching for the wine bottle. He felt suspiciously... tipsy for half a bottle of wine. However, here he was spending time with Link in this wonderful room. Like their own little world. It felt romantic... Sheik's eyebrows furrowed at that thought for a moment before refocusing on what the swordsman had been saying while he wasn't paying attention.

"... and that's what realllly happened, I swear! I just took the blame cuz Zel is Queen and pranksssss aren't queenly and sssstuff" He nodded furiously as if to add to his credibility.

"You still don't have any proof... hic!.. Hero." Countered Sheik, who let out a startled gasp when Link rolled closer and grabbed his shoulders. The look in his blue eyes was rather serious for how inebriated the man was. Evidentally being belived was rather important to him.

"Sssssheik, I may try and, and... trick you 'n sssstuff, cuz I want to ssssee you... but I wouldn't lie to you!" The Sheikah hiccuped in reply, and blinked.

"You want to sssee me...? You just mean without..." Red eyes narrowed a little and eyebrows turned up in an expression of hurt. Of course it came back to this. The hero just wanted to see him without his cowl.

"Ugggggh!" Replied the swordsman, rolling his eyes. Of course, that made him dizzy, so he leaned on Sheik more. "You don't undersssstand, it's not just about what you look like! I want to... to..."

"To win your game, right Hero?" The queen's gard returned harshly. Link narrowed his eyes in anger, the Sheikah wasn't listening to him at all. Well, if he wouldn't listen...

"No! Damnit. I want to do thisss!" Blue tunic made a soft squelching noise, still damp from the swim in, as it collided with blue exoskeleton. That was Sheik's last thought before the swordsman's lips against his own tossed all thought out the window. Even through the cowl Sheik could feel heat radiating off the hero, and it only got warmer as he came back to kiss the reclusive Sheikah again. The world spun, and not just from the alcohol, as a gauntleted hand reached up behind Sheik's neck. For a moment, he thought Link was about to steal his mask away, and found himself not caring much, but the hero simply used his new handhold to pull him closer. They were only inturrupted when Sheik hiccuped agian. The Hero of Time was half on top of the Sheikah by now, one hand still behind his neck, and the other held firmly on his side above the hip. Sheik was suprised to find his own hands tangled in blonde hair, and his breathing heavy.

"That. That wasss what I wanted to do." Sighed Link, eyes closed and slurring lightly, before resting his forehead against his companion's.

"Oh." Was the Sheikah's intelligent reply, entirely distracted by the fact that his cowl was now slightly damp from their kissing, and how he could still feel where link had lightly bitten his lower lip. The hero opened his eyes, which darkened immediately at the sight of the blushing and breathless man before him. Sheik watched his ocean-blue eyes sink to a deeper blue with a hint of trepidation. Should he kiss back? Wasn't the council pushing him to marry the Queen? Not to mention they were both male... and wow the sight of Link's wolfish grin was extremely attractive. Red eyes zeroed in on the sharp canines in the grin half a second before the Hero's mouth came forward to steal another kiss.

"You know," began the swordsman "I could do a... better job of thisss without your cowl in place, but I think I can make do... if you don't want to take it off. Heh. Or you could take off more then that." Sheik attempted to scrape together some of his famous wit, which was really rather difficult with Link this close.

"I didn't... hic!... know you were ssssuch a pervert, Hero." Said man laughed loudly at that, Sheik could feel the rumble of it through the connection of their chests.

"So isss that a yess or a no...?" Blue eyes looked hopeful while red rolled in mock exasperation.

"Never give up, do you Hero... hic!" Link grinned and began laying kisses down the side of Sheik's wrapped neck.

"Nope." He murmured inbetween each attempt. "I wouldn't be much of a hero... if I gave up easssily." Sheik chuckled.

"I sssuppose... not." Sheik's only regret was that he had to remove his hands from the hero's wonderful blonde locks into order to remove his own cowl... but the look on the other's face when he did was entirely worth it. As was the rest of the afternoon.

When they got back to the castle, rather late that evening, Sheik was suprised that Impa wasn't upset with him for being gone so long with an active threat to the Queens life ongoing. In fact, Link was the one who got admonished for being late, and he of course didn't seem to care in the least if the wide grin on his face was any indication. Queen Zelda herself only asked if they'd had a nice lunch while attempting to pat the hero's hair down to something less wild and tangled.
Link replied with an,

"Oh yeah. It was great. We might be going again next week." Impa's left eye twitched violently.

end.

a/n: If you took the time to read this, congratulations for surviving.