By sacara
A/N: Well, what if Lorelai is the one that from the beginning had a thing for Luke, and he just is completely oblivious to his and her feelings…… Rory is at Yale. The Dragonfly is about to be opened. No Alex no Jason. Lorelai knows that she loves Luke, but he's with Nicole and everything seems to be peachy between them. Lorelai finally decides to do something about her feelings.
Lorelai knew that this would be a special day. Somehow it would change everything and she hoped for the best. She had finally made a decision. Her feelings were deep and true and she knew that she at least had to tell him, even if it was unfair now that he was happy and finally found someone to spend his life with. However, she had to get it out in the open. To ensure that she had tried everything, and even if it was useless, she had done it. To speak about her feelings was really hard for Lorelai. It would not be easy and she had to make sure he was alone when she told him. Nicole would be away in Boston for four days. That was her chance. Then she would tell him.
Lorelai woke with the sound of her telephone ringing. She yawned profoundly and contemplated if she should go get the call or not. It could be Rory. Anyway the answering machine would take it. It wasn't Rory, the caller hung up and Rory would have probably left a message so she turned round to sleep again. It was Saturday anyway and she wouldn't have to get up until 10. At ten, Nicole's train would be leaving and then the play would start and the curtains would be drawn.
Lorelai felt a little bit awkward when she opened the door to Luke's diner. She smiled slightly in spite of herself then put on her usual pout in search for a free table. The one in the corner right beside the door was free and she took off her jacket and put it and her bag on one of the free chairs beside the table. Ceasar came to her table to ask what she'd like to have and she told him. The object of her affections was nowhere to be seen. Wondering where Luke was she started eating after Ceasar had served her.
The ringing sound of the door shook her out of her reverie and she turned to look up and directly into the blue depths of Luke's eyes. Boy but he had beautiful eyes, Lorelai decided.
"Hey Luke!" Lorelai cleared her throat and said.
"Hi Lorelai – what are you doing here at this time of the day. You're not working?" he took of his old green jacket, and greeted her with his typical something that maybe was supposed to be a smile. "You ate?" he asked her.
"Yes I already ate. I needed a day off and well, I am .. I .. actually am here to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you, yes! Have you got a minute? It's quiet here at the moment and maybe…" Lorelai stopped right in mid-sentence.
"Well, I just brought Nicole to her train and" he looked at his watch, "yes I have about an hour before Ceasar's shift stops." Luke was about to sit down beside her, when Lorelai lightly touched his arm.
"Uhm, Luke is it alright if we go upstairs?" she asked with a meek smile.
"Yeah, sure.. well come on then. You want some coffee – what a question. I'll pour you one and you can drink it upstairs." Luke would have seen the tender smile that was on Lorelai's lips and the deep and true feelings that lay in her glance if he had looked into her face.
He gave her the cup and then went up the stairs. She could sense that he was a little confused about her wanting to talk to him up there in his apartment.
He opened the door and let them into the small apartment. Well at least Jess had done one thing good for Luke, the redecoration of this small flat. This room really beggared no description before he tore down the walls and expanded it. Luke offered her one of the chairs around the table of his kind of dining room and sat down across from her. He folded his arms like he did when something disturbed him or when he was angry. He raised his eyebrows and waited.
Lorelai held on to her cup as if life depended on it. Suddenly the decision to talk to him seemed completely out of line and she wondered if she was to chicken out. Had she gone mad to tell a man who was happily married that she loved him. What did she hope for? Lorelai sighed deeply.
Luke let his arms sink down, and leaned slightly forward. He looked at her anxiously.
"Lorelai what is the matter, you have me worried here. You of all people at a loss of words. That's a first and it's not you. We're friends, you know you can talk to me. Are you in any kind of troubles? Is it the Inn? Do you need money? Talk to me."
Lorelai sighed again. If it was only that, she thought. I could live with that really. Alright girl just dive in.
"Luke it's nothing like that – it's a lot more difficult and complex. And maybe it's unfair or rude to tell you that, now that you are with Nicole…"
"Nicole? Lorelai what ..?"
"Luke, please let me finish. Anyway, I .. we've known each other for many years now, and you've always been there for me. You have been, no you simply are my friend, and I want to thank you for that." Luke waved aside and shook his head, his eyes full of confusion. "But there is something I must tell you, something I really can't hold back any longer. You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything about it. It's just that I have to get it out in the open." Her voice seemed to be very unstable and weak.
"Alrighty now" she sat upright raised both her hands and put her long and curly hair back behind her ears so that it wouldn't bother her.
"Luke, I – I love you, I've loved you for some time now, and never had the guts to tell you. I saw you go from date to date and loved you even through my own dates and affairs. I think I always searched just for the next best thing – after you!" Luke started to say something but she just held up her hand to stop him.
"I will go now. I don't want you to pity me or anything. You know, I won't be sitting at home now crying. It's not that bad. I am used to having this feeling inside of me. I just needed you to know. I am sorry if it was selfish in any kind of a way to disclose this, but I could not go on like this pretending that I don't simply adore you. Everything about you! So now I am finished."
Lorelai smiled and stood up. Luke sat there staring at her with his mouth opened just a tad.
"Lorelai wait!" Luke sprang up tipping over the chair on which he had sat and searched for her. She was nowhere to be seen. Probably had been gone for minutes now. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there just like that. Completely unaware of his surroundings.
He put his hands on his hips then let them down again only to put them up on his hips again. He walked around in his apartment restlessly and shook his head incessantly. He couldn't believe what he had learned. She was in love with him, loved him. It was impossible. It was as if the pope suddenly gave up his belief. Lorelai had always been out of reach somehow. He never in his wildest dream would have thought that she even thought of him that way. He was completely speechless and shocked and simply was at a loss. How was he supposed to not do something about it. She had the nerve to ask him to forget it, Luke scoffed. How could he forget that she loved him. He had really never thought of her in a romantic way, or put in a better way never let himself even near the possibility to think of her romantically. This changed everything, but shouldn't he be thinking of Nicole.
Nicole. Lorelai. Nicole. Lorelai….?
to be continued.
A/N: Please excuse any kind of mistakes. I don't have a beta, but I'm open for suggestions - I hope you like it so far. Please let me know what you think. I am on my knees begging for feedback
