Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one...
Stand By Me...Always
After the events of that summer we found Ray Brower's lifeless body by the creek, and were confronted by a gang doing so, we thought without saying so that our friendship would last forever. But, life happened, and Chris and I lost touch with Vern and Teddy, to the point that we would merely nod to each other out of politeness in the halls at school or around the town.
Four more summers found Chris and I spending most of our time alone, but together. My parents continued to frown upon the Chambers family, but put less of that stigma on Chris himself. My father still had his doubts about his character, at least that's what I had assumed. Looking back now, I'm not sure it was not something else.
"You sure are spending alot of time with that boy, Gordon..." My father said quietly as we were eating supper, my parents and me. I glanced over, still out of habit, at Denny's chair wishing he was there to deflect my parent's scrutiny onto something else, usually himself. Surprisingly, my mother came to my aid before I had to defend my friendship with Chris once again. "Dear, Chris seems to be succeeding in putting some distance between himself and the rest of that..family of his." While not a complete compliment, it was absolutely the best I could have hoped for between the two of them.
My father was not finished, however. "A boy his age should be doing something more with time on his hands than just gallavantin' around alone with another boy. He should be studyin', playin' a sport, chasin' a girl.." My father sighed and shook his head as if defeated. Without a word in reply, I stood up and quietly put my plate in the sink. I wanted to see Chris before the Sun was completely down, and I was tired of listening to what was being said at the table.
Without looking back, I said, "I'll be back before too long." My father raised his voice after me, "See that you do."
The slight chill from the evening breeze was a shock to me as this was supposed to have been a warmer summer. The sun was getting closer to night with every minute, though. Not too far from the town, there was a large rock at the edge of some woods that Chris and I selected long ago as "our spot," and this is where I knew I would find him this night.
"Hey." Chris said as I walked up to his seated form.
"Hey." I replied.
I took up a seat next to him, "School starts up in a couple of weeks now."
"Great, thanks for reminding me." Chris said with a groan, no doubt considering the extra workload that meant carrying in an already burdened homelife. Chris' family had a reputation for a reason.
"How is your Dad?" I asked as casually as I could without betraying my actual question. The question Chris undoubtedly knew I was asking anyhow: "Has your Dad hurt you?"
Chris sighed before answering vaguely, "He's been quiet lately."
All I could do was nod and we were silent for a while before Chris broke it. "Won't be too much longer now."
I waited, hoping he would elaborate, but when I saw that was the end, I pressed. "Until what? It's already dark."
"'Til we graduate. And you go off and become that fancy writer I know you can be." Chris said smiling down at his hands as he sharpened his knife on the boulder we were seated on.
"You'll leave too, Chris." I said defensively, as I thought he was accusing me of leaving as if he didn't want to himself.
Chris turned his blade over, stabbing it into the rock repeatedly, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't."
"What do you mean? You're hanging on pretty well in the same classes I'm in..You're working hard to-" "Gordie, stop." Chris cut me off.
I turned to face him. "What's this all about?"
Chris shuddered, saying nothing for a while..it would not be for years that I would learn what had transpired between Chris and his father while I was enjoying the stifling company of my parents at dinner that night.
"You think you're hot stuff don't ya? Stayin' in school, and takin' college classes. Well, let me tell you now that you and that faggot you hang around with are not gonna 'mount to shit!" Chris's dad, said tossing his empty beer can in Chris' general direction.
Picking up the discarded can, Chris replied," I don't think I'm that great. But Gordie is really smart..And you're not gonna call him a faggot."
Chris' dad, who had been propped up in his worn out recliner, straightened up and leaned forward toward Chris. "What did you say to me, Boy?"
"I said you're not gonna call Gordie a faggot." Chris snapped.
On his feet, Chris' dad backhanded his face before Chris could try to protect himself. "He IS a faggot. And guess what? I know you're a homo too! But what makes you so sure he wants to be homo with a shit like you? Disgusting!"
"Disgusting? Well, I guess you'd know all about that, huh Dad?" Chris said and quickly exited, running in the direction of "our spot" before his dad could hit him again.
Chris tried to stop it, I could tell, but a tear fell down his face in spite of him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and he said, "Gordie. I love you. You're the best thing in my life."
Stunned, I said, "I love you too, Chris. You're my best friend, and I'm lucky to have you."
Chris sniffed, "No, Gordie."
I was about to argue back, thinking he was being negative about himself, but he surprised me again.
Pulling back off my shoulder, he said something that changed our lives for ever. "I'm in love with you."
He raised his hand with the knife he still had in it and threw it angrily at the ground. I could tell he was frustrated. "God, I'm so fucked up."
"No. No you're not, Chris."
"Yes Gordie, I-"
"Chris, shut up! I love you too." I blurted it out.
And there it was. There was no turning back for either of us now. And for my part, at that moment, I wanted to shout it out loud, to kiss him, to touch him and be touched by him. But mostly, I just wanted to hold him. And he felt the same way on that point, as we reached out for each other. I would have given anything for that hug to never end.
"I love you" Chris whispered, head buried in my shoulder.
"I love you." I whispered back.
When we finally did let go enough to look at each other again, I asked, since he was the one to start this I figured he had more answers than I did,"What now?"
Chris gulped,"I dunno.."
I blinked, staring at him"We can't tell anybody. Not ever."
Chris nodded fast in agreement,"We'd be dead."
"We have to get out of hear Chris. Now more than ever."
"You can do anything, Gordie..I know you can." Chris said. " Me though.."
"Chris, I believe in you. You are an amazing person." I said, before he could put himself down again.
Chris looked down and scoffed..
"No you are. I don't know anybody who is treated the way you are who can be so..sweet and smart and strong.." I said, heat rising to my face.
Chris looked at me seriously at that moment, and smiled softly. "Only you Gordie..Only you...I want to be with you forever.."
I smiled back proudly, "Always."
