Chapter 1: In Which Robin Spaghettis and Shows His True Weeaboo (Otaku) Nature IRL


Summary: Robin's the new kid at school. Nerdy but kawaii as hell, girls swoon after him. But they don't know he's actually a total weeaboo and hella gay. Forced to sing a duet with Chrom, basketball superstar extraordinaire, the two hit it off at a New Year's Party. Will the plan go all according to keikaku or…? Crack. Yaoi!Chrobin.


A/N: Obviously based off of High School Musical. I must apologize, this displays about 0% of my writing skill. OTL Anyway, thanks to both 'A Stampede of Chickens' (on fanfiction) and 'Kyiss' (on tumblr) for beta-ing/inserting more Japanese words/stupid jokes in the story. Also creds to Kyiss for the cover image U.U ilu bae


The New Year's party at the ski resort absolutely sucked. It was loud, it was annoying, and it was full of sweaty bodies. All Robin wanted was his book back. But nooooo, his dad had taken it away from him, insisting that he 'act like a normal teenager and go party and do some drugs or something.' Like what kind of dad was that? Validar was a pretty shit dad anyway.

So Robin sat on the couch sulking. His phone died like ten minutes ago so he couldn't read the latest chapter of manga. He couldn't live without knowing if Naruto and Sakura got together or not. This was insanity!

And now some random announcer dude is talking about couples volunteering to sing karaoke. What a baka. Real people can't sing anyway. Now he has to suffer through terrible singing and everything else. Including the stupid outfit his dad had shoved on to him.

'Your mother would want you to wear fashionable clothes and go to the party,' Validad had told him.

'DAD YOU BAKA DAIKIRAI,' Robin screamed at his father, knowing that Validad couldn't understand the superior Japanese language.

He wasn't gonna lie. The white button up and black skinny jeans made him look hella swag. Like, hello? His messy white hair just added extra swag points. He looked like white haired Kaneki Ken. AKA a sexy, badass motherfucker.

"AND NOW," the announcer screamed into the mic, causing a huge screeching sound. The dude ignored it, because that is not in fact an easily fixed problem, and continued. "FOR OUR NEXT SET OF VOLUNTEERS. THE SPOTLIGHTS IF YOU WILL."

The light fell first on Robin. He groaned. "NO THANK YOU," he shouted.

Validad pushed him up towards the stage. "You'll thank me later, son."

"Oh no, no, no. I can't sing!" Robin protested. Okay that was a lie. He sang 'Crossing Field' by LiSA in the shower like everyday. But whatever.

The crowd forced him off the couch and onto the stage. Robin was handed a mic that he awkwardly placed back on the stand. He was sending them all to jigoku desu.

"FOR OUR SECOND VOLUNTEER," the announcer dude said in his stupidly loud and cheerful voice. "DEFENDING HIS TITLE TONIGHT, HIS NAME IS JOHN CENAAAAAAAAA."

The damn John Cena theme blasted through the speakers. Stupid meme. This party was not at all going to keikaku desu.

"Are you kidding me right now?" Robin said, eye twitching, with the # sign stamped across his head.

"OKAY, OKAY. WE'RE JUST JOKING." The music stopped blaring from the speakers. "THE REAL VOLUNTEER IS, DRUMROLL PLEASE."

The spotlight twirled around the crowd and landed on the sexiest guy Robin had ever laid eyes upon. Hot damn. His hair was the bluest of ao, like Ike's or Marth's from Fire Embull. And damn were they hot as hell. And so was this guy. If he contemplated going gay for 2D guys, he was definitely going gay for this 3D guy.

"Oh, no, please no," the dude waved his hands in protest.

A small perky blonde girl next to him pushed him forward. "DO IT FOR THE VINE, CHROM!"

Chrom. So that was his name. Robin swooned. Yeah, he could get used to that. Crap, wait, was he going to sing a duet with this guy? He didn't know any dumb English songs, only anime openings. Which in his humble opinion was the only good music in the world. Kids these days and their stupid pop and autotune.

"You kids will appreciate this later," the announcer said, for once not screaming into the mic. That's almost exactly what Validad had told him. Baka Validad desu.

A familiar tune came out from the speakers. Robin couldn't quite put his finger on it. Well, at least he knows the song.

"We're no strangers to loveeeeeee, you know the rules, and so do I."

Robin turned to glare at the announcer. Rick Rolling? What was this, 2007?

"SORRY FOLKS," the announcer cried, getting a loud 'aaaaawwww' from the crowd. "WRONG TRACK."

A piano riff started. Chrom shuffled awkwardly next to him. Robin crossed his hands over his chest, pouting. Baras like the tsunderes, right?

Chrom cleared his throat, "Uh, I'll take the first part?"

Robin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever, like I care."

"Uhm, okay."

The lyrics blared on a screen in front of them. "Something New" was the title of the song. Ehh, it was no 'Guren no Yumiya' but it'll do. As long as he got to sang with Mr. Kakkoi over there.

The crowd cheered as Chrom began to sing. Can't sing, his ass.

"Living in my own world, didn't understand," the blue haired beauty smoothly began. "That anything can happen, when you take a chance."

Oh my gods, heaven above, surely a tenshi has descended upon him. Oh right, it was his turn.

Robin took a deep breath. "I never believed in, what I couldn't see. I never opened my heart, to all the possibilities."

He wasn't terrible, given the crowd's reaction. Robin ran a hand through his hair. Guess crying and singing to ending songs at 3am was totally worth it.

"I know," they both sang. Robin continued, "that something has changed."

"Never felt this way."

"And right here tonight…" Robin trailed off.

"This could be the start, of somethin' new."

"It feels so right."

"To be here with you, oooooh. And now, lookin' in your eyes."

"I feel in my heart."

"Feel in my heart."

"The start of somethin' new."

"Ohhhhh, yeahhh." Chrom smirked into the microphone as he shrugged off his blazer. Robin could have died right then and there a happy otoko. As could the rest of the crowd, who began cheering. Back off, Chrom belongs to him.

He completely shed his jacket, tossing it to a serene looking blonde onna in the crowd. "Now who'd of ever thought that...mmmm."

"We'd both be here tonight...ooooh, yeahhhhh."

Robin uncrossed his arms, grabbing on to the microphone in front of him. "Oh yeah, the sekai looks so much brighter."

"Brighter, brighterr."

"Oh, with anata by my sideeeeeeeee."

"By my sideeee."

"I know...that somethin' has changed. Never felt this way."

"Oh, I know it for real."

"This could be the start, of somehin' new. It feels so right, to be here with you, oooh." Judging by the cheering and dancing people, they were pretty good at this. Heh, Robin could get used to this. Maybe start his own band, yeah.

"And now lookin' in your eyes. I feel in my heartttttttt, the start of somethin' new."

Chrom tilted his microphone stand. Robin's eye bulged. Holy okaa-san of…

"I never knew that it could happen 'til it happened to me. Oooooh, yeahhhh.."

"I didn't know it before."

"But ima, it's easy to seeeeeeee."

"Oooooohhhhhhhhh."

They began the last part of the song, facing one another: "It's the start, of somethin' new. It feels so right, to be here with you, oooooh. And now, lookin' in your eyes, I feel in my heartttt. That it's the start, of somehin' new. It feels so right."

"So right, ooooh."

"To be koko with anata, ooooh (ohohoho)."

"And now..." They inched ever closer together. "Lookin' in your eyes, I feelin my heartttttttt."

"The start of somethin' new."

Chrom chorused after him, "The start of somethin' new."

"The start of somethin' new."

"Somethin' new."

The song ended and the crowd burst in applause. Now, for sure, they were close enough to kiss. And Robin could feel the heat radiating off of Chrom. Oh my gods, oh my gods. What if he just leaned in, and, ano, anooooooo..

"Chrom, I'm Chrom," Chrom said, repetitively. Heh, it was kawaii either way.

"Robin desu." Oh gods, does he give Chrom his keitai number now, or was that too pushy? Damn, this dude probably had a kanojo or something. He was too kawaii to not have one. LE SIGH. The trials and tribulations of a deep thinker.

"Oh, uh," Chrom looked at the cheering crowd. "Let's go outside, I'm feeling kinda stuffy in here. Your singing was interesting I liked the japanese you slipped in place of the actual lyrics. I too watch the animu."

"Eto, arigato gozaimasu," Robin said bashfully, ignoring the horrible mispronunciation of the finest Japanese art for the compliment Chrom gave him. A compliment! "Your singing was really good too. Suteki, if I do say so myself."

The crowd behind them started to chant the countdown to New Year's. Kinda like zombies. It reminded me of that hot anime about the zombie girl, 'Sankarea.' Creepy. But even Robin knew dumb western traditions like how a New Year's kiss was supposed to be special. His kokoro was going doki-doki as he stared at Chrom's lip. He bit his lip. That's how people got others to kiss them, right?

Chrom looked awkwardly at anywhere but Robin. He even grabbed a cupcake from a nearby table and took a bite. Robin cursed himself; he was such a baka. Chrom probably wasn't attracted to him. Le sigh. The moment passed. hanabi exploded. How romantic, he thought bitterly.

"I guess I need to go find Validad—I mean my otou-san," Robin excused himself. "To wish him a Happy New Year's before he starts bitching. Actually, he might be glad I'm finally rebelling like a 'normal' teenager now. LOL."

"Yeah, me too. I mean not your otou-san. Uh. I mean my older sister, Emmeryn. And my younger sister, Lissa, too. Uhm. How about I text you, like tomorrow?"

SCORE! He got Chrom's number, without even trying. "Oh," he tried to play it off cool. "Here's my keitai, fam. Put your number in."

"Sure," the blue hair bara pulled out his phone. A sudden flash blinded Robin.

"Sorry," Chrom apologized. "I wanted a picture of you. Uh, for the contact picture."

"Wait, me too," Robin agreed, snapping a picture of Chrom. "Here, now you can put your number in."

They swapped numbers. Then stood there, in awkward silence for a bit. "Want the rest of it," Chrom offered Robin his cupcake. "It's really sweet though."

Robin took the cupcake. An indirect kiss? Oh my gods. This can't be happening. He was squealing on the inside. Wow, was he Chiyo from 'Gekkan-Shoujo Nozaki-kun?' Next thing you know Chrom writes shoujo manga for a living. Robin accidentally wandered off in a kind of blissful peace.

"Yeah, I mean, I like sweets and all," Chrom said in the distance to himself. Guess he didn't realize Robin had wandered off. "But, I'm not feeling it right now. Wow. Anyway where do you live?"

Robin looked at him from afar, shocked out of the 'indirect kiss' state of mind. He shook his head. What a dork. An utsukushii cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.


A/N #2: I have to apologize again. LOL. I hope you found this a stupid and obnoxious as I did. That's the point afterall. I can't promise consistent updates, but there will probably be at least one or two more. So tell me what memes/animu you want me to reference. Or any other crack ideas. Or the format, especially the song, since that was really annoying to write. Or if you'd rather me quit writing crack and actually post the normal stories I've written. WHAT TEAM?