Another one shot about some weird things or problems Altair experiences during his missions…


His sword in hand, Altair was walking straight ahead when a guard interrupted him.

Guard#1: Hey you, show me what you can do with that sword *snickers*

Altair: -_-" *kills guard*

Guard #2: Hey, you murdered him! *walks to Altair*

Altair: Yes, but he challenged me…he wanted to see what I can do with a sword, so I showed him.

Guard #2: Oh! Then I guess he had it coming.

Altair: Yup.

Guard #2: Oh well, have a good day sir. *leaves*

Altair: *in his head while leaving* Wait! Did he really let me go even if I killed someone right before his eyes? O.o


His sword in hand, Altair was walking straight ahead when a guard interrupted him.

Guard: Hehehe, my sword is bigger than yours.

Altair: Maybe, but I have something else that is bigger than yours…

Guard: *OWNED* O.O


Holding onto the ledge of a rooftop where a guard saw him.

Guard: *Prepares bow and arrow*

Altair: *in his head* Oh shit! *goes down a little*

Guard: Huh? Where has he gone? Oh well… *puts arrow and bow away*

Altair: *goes up on the roof and kills guard with hidden blade* Idiot….


Climbing a wooden platform where 3 archers are watching. At the top…

Guard: Assassin! *pushes Altair down the platform*

Suddenly, a squad who passed by came and attacked Altair while 1 of the archers came down to help the squad. During the fight, the 2 remaining archers kept firing arrows at Altair, causing him to be left off guard. But, Altair succeeded to kill all the guards and was now determined to kill the 2 damned archers…

Altair: *on top of platform, seeing the two archers on their knees, begging for their lives*

Archer #1: Please, we surrender, we want to live!

Archer #2: Yes, I have a wife and 4 children, please!

Altair: You want me to let you live when you tried to kill me? *Scoff*

The two archers waited for him to decided if he'll let them live…

Altair: Hmm, nope. *kills two archers*


Walking in monk mode, Altair made his way towards his destination when a guy with mental problems (how do we call them? O.o) pushed him. Altair, loosing his balance, accidentally pushed a guard.

Guard: You idiot, you want to die or what? *takes sword*

Altair: What? So it's my fault if this dumb guy pushed me and that I made you fall accidentally?

Guard: Hum, well…I…Oh well, just go kill him okay? After all, you're an assassin. *goes back at guarding place*

Altair: Yeah, that's what I planned to do anyway…*goes up and chased dumb guy and kills him*

Guard: Assassin! *points at Altair*

Altair: O.o But, you said...


Finally, Altair removed the helmet that was hiding Robert de Sablé's face, but was surprised to see a woman.

Altair: What the hell?

Maria: *in a singing voice* Surprise!

Altair: Who the heck are you? And where's Robert de Sablé?

Maria: My name is Maria and we are meant to be with each other!

Altair: What? O.o

Maria: Yes, you will spare my life because I'm not your target then you will go and kill Robert de Sablé. Then, you will take me as your prisoner at Cyprus and our feelings for each other will grow and then we'll have babies! *wide grin and shiny eyes*

Altair: O.o *kills Maria* What a crazy woman…

(Just thought it would be funny to make Maria out of character)


Outside of Masyaf, Altair was back from a mission. Ridding his horse, he suddenly stopped. He looked at his follow assassin brothers and noticed one was shinning red…RED?

Altair: *gasp* A traitor! *goes towards him, yelling "die traitor" and kills him*

Assassin soldier: *pointing at Altair* Traitor!

Altair: Me? No, it was him *points at dead body* he was shinning red!

Assassin soldier: Shinning red? O.o

Altair: Yes, it means he's an enemy.

Assassin soldier: *in his head* That's it, he's crazy…

(you can actually see that when you exited Masyaf and select "Kingdome". Then, use your eagle vision and you will see one of the assassin soldier shinning in red while the others are blue…)

Alright, hope you liked it :) Review please!