This is an Allen/Lenalee pairing. Just kind of a drabble on them falling in love. The song is the same one from my fic Falling Apart: The Fragile, by Nine Inch Nails. I might do a third fic to this song as Allen/Lavi, depending on my enthusiasm. Again I don't know how great this is, but I couldn't help but write it. So I hope someone enjoys it.
Fragile
~She shines in a world full of ugliness.
From the moment he met Lenalee Lee he had thought she was exceptional. Her personality made her practically shine, especially amidst the dark, barren halls of the Order. She seemed to brighten everything. Even as finders died en masse, exorcists began to lose hope and sanity, and innocence was lost at an increasingly rapid rate.
~She matters when everything is meaningless.
It was only through Lenalee that Allen found something that mattered beyond Akuma, beyond the dead. She would always matter to him when everything else was meaningless. [For Mana, and Narein, and his own sins he would save the Akuma. But only for her would he save the world.]
~Fragile, she doesn't see her beauty,
She tries to get away.
When her innocence lost it's form he realized how fragile she truly was. Realized how much he wanted to protect her and how much she needed him, needed all of them- her exorcist family. And in this fragility he learned how beautiful she was, in a way she'd never understand.
Finally, when she stopped trying to get away from everything (unconscious though her actions may have been), she returned stronger than before. Just as he had when his innocence lost it's form. All she had needed was the kind of clarity of resolve that he had found while in the Asian branch. And the strength of her will made her all the more beautiful. Fragile, seemingly unbreakable, and astoundingly beautiful.
~Sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving,
I can't watch her slip away.
At times, as the war continued, the number of tragedies increased, and humanity, the Noah, and the Order itself visited darker and darker crimes on each other, it seemed to Allen that nothing was worth saving. And he and Lenalee watched as the world fell apart faster than they could pick up the pieces. Having seen it so many times before Lavi would tell them that that was just how war, how the world was. The Chinese girl would say nothing and retire to her room. The English boy would always follow her and find her sobbing in her pillows or staring despondently out her window and he'd hold her, sometimes all night. The next day she acted as though nothing had ever been wrong; determined to complete every mission with success, hum while making coffee for the sleep deprived science department, greet everyone returning to headquarters with a smile. And with every horrific death or lost innocence fragment she would retreat to her room, again. Allen always followed her. She would always be alright the next day. [And the cycle repeated. He knew every time he watched her cry uncontrollably or became unresponsive and then rebuilt her, that next time he would try harder so that he didn't have to, once again, watch her slip away. He hated to have to watch her fall apart. He would do anything to keep from letting her fall apart.]
~I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
~She reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by,
Hoping someone will see.
Komui, as her brother, her only family, was a big part of her world; however, Allen Walker was quickly taking over much of it. He wasn't the 'tall, dark, and handsome' (Kanda) man she thought she would fall in love with. He was so much better. Instead of handsome he was beautiful, all snowy hair and pale skin. He was younger than her, but mature like Lavi and her brother would never be. He was polite and understanding in ways that Kanda refused to be. He saw how easily she could crumble, but never kept her from the battle field (not that he didn't still try to shield her from everything while on said battle field), understanding her need to be there. He had the same need as she.
He also didn't treat her as a comrade or an exorcist, but as a loved one. He treated her as someone important beyond what use she could be to the Order and the war. Komui, Lavi, Kanda, Miranda, and so many others cared for her, but never in the way that Allen did. Mind you, Allen's feelings were always more intense than anyone else's. But with her they seemed to have been placed under a microscope and set on the highest magnification. [He was discreet about his feeling and she almost missed them at first, but once she caught on she could hardly believe she'd not seen their intensity.] He knew everything about her; when she needed to be alone, when she needed reassurance, humor, or comfort. She was overjoyed when she found that someone could finally, really see her.
~If I could fix myself I would die,
But it's too late for me.
Amazing Allen Walker could see her, and loved her. Now all she had to do was fix herself so that she would be worthy of the white haired boy's love. So that he was wasn't loving an empty shell of Lenalee Lee. Yes, she knew she was a little broken (weren't all of the exorcists?) and emotionally fragile, especially compared to the determined, unwavering, ever so strong Allen Walker, the 'Destroyer of Time,' she had fallen in love with. And maybe it was a bit too late to fix everything, but she would die and retry a hundred times for Allen, because as strong as he was he was fragile too. And she would never let him fall apart like she had.
~I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
I won't let you fall apart.
~We'll find a perfect place to go where we can run and hide.
She could never let him fall apart because he always mended her when she fell apart. Every time she needed to run and hide form everything his arms were open, waiting for her. And with nothing but a borrowed shoulder, soft words, or even silence he'd repair her, a little piece at a time, until she no longer felt that need to hide. She wasn't sure she was strong enough, had the talent to put Allen back together in the same way. She'd just have to keep him from falling apart at all.
~I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side.
Allen wanted nothing more than to stop Lenalee's cycle of 'break and repair.' He wanted to build a wall and keep them, every woe in the world, on the other side. He wanted to be on the inside of that wall to comfort and love her as she deserved. He knew, though, that she could never be kept on the sidelines, just as he couldn't. Knowing that about her, he only wanted to love her more and build the walls higher. Even if it only kept her from falling apart just a bit longer, if it kept her from breaking one minute more.
~It's something I have to do
I won't let you fall apart
I was like you
I won't let you fall apart.
They were so alike. Together they would fight to save the world. Allen would fight to save her world, too. And Lenalee would always be at his side because she could not let him fall apart as he tried to save everything for everyone. Save everything for her, who he put before everything else.
~Before everything else
I won't let you fall apart
I was like you
I won't let you fall apart.
He'd try to keep her from falling apart next time. She'd never let him fall apart a first time.
