AN: Now this is just a starter chapter and I think we all know what I think of those so far but anyway. If you enjoy my other fanfics you will defo like this one! I think it's the funniest yet! I had some help from princessezzzy though so read her fanfictions!
Chapter One: Compromise
Alice and Rosalie bounced happily on the four poster bed in Edward's room. They wooped and screamed and occasionally there would be a dull thud as the hit their head on the ceiling, cracking it's smooth white surface. Edward looked on disapprovingly from the coach which Bella securely sat on his knee doing her algebra homework, safe from this particular activity (but not from lack of trying).
"What's the answer to question 3?" she asked, Edward frowned.
"X7" Bella smiled and jotted down the answer, flipping through her textbook. Edward watched her hands, scowling. "Bella…" Bella froze, she knew this was bound to come sooner or later but she had hoped that she wouldn't have to deal with it yet. "You're not wearing your ring." Bella coughed.
"No I'm not." She tried to say it casually but there was a little quiver towards the end and Edward smiled. She continued flipping through the book although she had passed the page she had been looking for ages ago. Edward waiting about a minute for effect.
"Why not?" Bella dropped all pretence, dropping the book to the floor and folding her arms defiantly.
"You know why?" He pressed his nose to her shoulder.
"Remind me." He whispered seductively and Bella gave up.
"Well it's just so showy!" she complained. "I can't wear it out in public because people keep staring at it and if Charlie ever saw it…"
"I thought Charlie has already seen it." Bella muttered something. "What do you mean not exactly?!" Edward exclaimed (hense the exclamation mark).
"It's embarrassing!" Bella waled and stuffed her face into his chest so that she couldn't see her cheeks which were scarlet. "I want a normal ring!"
"It is a normal ring." He raised an eyebrow. "And most ladies would be proud to show off a diamond ring." Bella groaned and he rolled his eyes. "Look, Bella, I read this relationship book and…" Bella's head shot up to give him a horrified look.
"You've been reading relationship books!?"
"Just the one actually." He smiled again. "I borrowed it from the library." Bella stuffed her face back into his chest as he cheeks reached the colour of a blushing firetruck.
"The local library?" she hardly needed to ask.
"Yup! The librarian there, she's very nice, Vera I think her name was, was very helpful even said you could come and talk her if you had problems. She knows Charlie you see…" Bella pounded Edward with her fists. "Anyway…I read that relationships are all about compromise so if you can find a ring that is…to your liking, and that I approve of, then you can wear that instead." Bella's head appeared again and she smiled.
"Really?" Bella put her arms around his neck and he smiled.
"Really!" he grinned and Bella's heart hammered against her ribcage.
The wooping, which had been getting steadily louder from behind them stopped abruptly when Alice went through the plaster of the ceiling with a crash, wedging her head in the hole. Her arms and Legs flailed but her muffled shouts were completely masked by Rosalie who rolled off the beds and proceeded to have, what looked like a fit on the floor, shaking the floor with her laughter.
Bella liked loopholes especially where Edward was concerned.
"A keyring?"
"No!"
"a ringbinder?"
"No!"
"A donut?"
"No!"
"What about a piece of ivy?"
"No!"
"a RINGed condom"
"It's rimmed Bella and No!
"A party ring?" (For all American readers this is a ring shaped biscuit but you might have them too)
"No!"
"Onion ring!?"
"No!"
"Napkin ring?"
"No!"
"Rubber ring?"
"No!"
By the time Bella had to go home to Charlie Edward was exhausted, well….if vampires can get exhausted and with a weary heart he drove Bella home that night.
"I'll come and pick you up tomorrow, I'm going hunting tonight." He was tempted to add "so I don't kill you." But just smiled and kissed her on the cheek.
"I'll have loads more suggestions by then!" Bella reached the door, turning to grin at him.
"Ring of fire?" Edward chuckled.
"You're clutching at straws Bella. She smiled and he drove away.
The next day dawned bright and sunny and Edward pulled up in his silver chariot, ready to whisk his fair maiden away on yet another day of bliss and romance. He rung the doorbell twice and it sprung open almost instantly.
"Cullen!"
"Good morning Charlie." Edward said brightly but Chief Swan glared at him.
"Cullen you cheapskate!" he bellowed. "I thought maybe you'd be able to atleast buy my daughter a decent engagement ring before you whisked her away from me but NO!" His saliva had started collecting on Edward's face and he tried to stop himself from screwing up his eyes against. Bella appeared behind Charlie, grinning for all she was worth. Charlie grabbed her left hand and shoved it towards Edward. Edward recoiled from the tiny red loop of string that was tied round her finger.
"I told you dad!" Bella said in mock annoyance. "Edward's very into this hole Cabala thing!" Edward's face clouded over in confusion, clearly he didn't read heat magazine, Bella sighed.
"Chief Swan…" Edward stuttered. Bella gave him a triumphant look from behind her father, sticking her tongue out. "Chief Swan I did get Bella an engagement ring, Bella tell him!" Charlie wheeled around, catching Bella in the middle of her victory dance, it wasn't often that she won over Edward. She froze.
"Bella, is this true." He raged and she too got screwed up her eyes.
"Maybe…" Edward stuck his tongue back at her. "But you don't want to see it dad…it's silly." Charlie scowled.
"I say if I want to see it or not young Lady!" Bella rolled her eyes.
"Fine, I'll go and get it." She trapsed upstairs, leaving Edward standing in the doorway with a heavy, awkward silence hanging over both vampire and man.
"So…picked flowers for the wedding yet?" Charlie's stab at conversation was pathetic.
"Alice was thinking lilies."
"Lillies…yeah. Me and Renée had lilies."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
Another silence.
"And how about the…" but Edward was spared this promisingly tedious question from a small noise behind him, Bella popped her head round the door and Edward spun round.
"Erm…Edward, I need to talk to you." Edward blinked. "Alone…in my room." Bella gritted her teeth and gestured manically. Edward shrugged and followed her upstairs leaving a frankly bemused Charlie standing alone in the kitchen.
Edward stared around the room in amazement. It was a tip! Completely trashed.
"It's gone!" Bella said frantically. "Gone!" Edward's jaw dropped open.
"Gone?!?!?"
"Yes!" she clutched his shoulders. "It must have fallen off the windowsill." She muttered to herself absentmindedly. Edward gawped.
"Why was it on windowsill in the first place!?" Bella looked shifty.
"Well…I couldn't risk Charlie finding it so I decided to keep it where he would never find it."
"What!"
"Don't worry, I have the box" Bella heald up the empty velvet shell and Edward sank down on her bed.
"Was the box open?" Bella looked down at her shoes.
"It made a pretty rainbow when it was sunny."
"When did you last see it?"
"Yesterday." Bella put her finger to her mouth. "Or was it the day before…I can never remember when my jewellery goes missing."
"So this has happened before!"
"Oh yes, I always keep my jewellery on the window sill and it doesn't stay there that long." She seemed a little too cheerful about this.
"You mean…the emerald necklaces I gave you…the ruby earings…the sapphire bracelet…"
"Yup, yup, yup." Edward stood up.
"Why did you tell anyone?" Bella looked a little upset.
"Well you always get so upset about these kinda things. Carlisle is always at work. Esme just says she's DIS-O-POINTED in me. Alice is running out of languages to translate bar bar blacksheep into. Emmett isn't the subtlest of people in the world (I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to hide). Rosalie always grassing me up par example the cliff incident. And Jasper, well Jasper's not really my homy!"
"Never say that again!" Edward shook her by the shoulders. Bella opened her mouth to reply that she was one of the youth of the modern town and she was aloud to "get down and jiggy with the new lingo" if she wanted, when Edward spotted a glint in the sun from outside.
