I wrote this out when I was lazing around after finishing my English exam. RAWR. Methinks I'm gonna die for the brochure thingy...
"Look, if ya want me to do this, you gotta give me somethin' in return right!

"I am going to give you something."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Look!"

"..."

"Heh."

"Another two packs an' we got a deal."

"Fine, fine. Deal?"

"Yeah... Deal."

"Good!"
"... Hey, II Forte!"

"Yes?"

"Look, there's somethin' called consensual sex okay -"

"Puh-leez. You know you want to screw him upside down."

"..."

"Well, bye!"

"NO! WAIT!

"What?"

"I don't wanna Shaw Long or Edoard to witness this!"

"They have to!"

"We're gonna be half naked!"

"Who cares!"

"I care!"

"D-Roy, do you know that Edoard likes dropping around the female Arrancar quarters once in a while?"

"... Oh fuck. I'm goin' to be permanently scarred for life."

----

A muscle in his face twitched.

"D-Roy."

"Yeah?"

"Stop licking the fucking lollipop in that fucking stupid way."

"What I'm lickin' ain't yer business."

"It looks stupid."

"Soooo?"

Lick.

"Bitch."

"C'moff it, I'm just eatin'. You ain't goin' to put restrictions on me eatin', aren't you?"

"Put that damned thing down before I Cero it. Where the hell you got that stupid round thing anyways?"

"Eh?'" Lick. Tongue flicking around the edges. "From Earth, nuh. Thought ya'd have enough brain to work that out."

"..."

"Erm, I take that back! Hey - DON'T- Umpppf."

"..."

"..."

"Ya know, there is something called sexual frustration. Ya in denial or what?"

"Shut the fuck up, D-Roy."

'Nghk."

----

"I told you so." II Forte shot a superior look at Shaw Long and Edoard. Shaw Long had pulled open the room door and had beaten a very hasty retreat once they realised it was very, very much in use.

"..." No visible emotion flickered in the tall Chinese Arrancar's face, but you could practically see the eye-roll.

"Bloody hell... So what do we owe you?"

"Ooh, you're really following up on the bet?"

"II Forte, please tell us what you would like us to procure for you."

"Oh, o-kay... Don't get the wrong one, 'kay?"

"What the hell is this?"

"..."

"Look, you can't expect my hair to be so glossy without some help right!"

"... But there is so much!"

"It's considered little, alright."

"...Pink hair dye?"

"For Szayel, as a favour."

"That's not his natural colour!?"

"Obviously. I'm blond. He's pink. Which is the more natural colour, I ask you?"

"..."

"..."
"Let's go, Shaw Long."

"Yes."


And... We conclude! R&R, folks.