Why the Angels Might Smite Fan Fiction

Disclaimer - I do not own Supernatural but I once more present proof of why I should not be allowed near a computer on pain medication.

Dean Winchester rolled over, yawning. He could have sworn...

"And she's buying a stairway to heaven..."

"Dean," Sam yawned. "You left your phone in my room." He tossed it to his brother before sitting at the desk in Dean's room.

The ringtone – one that Dean had (as a joke) programmed for the cell phone Castiel had called him on last week - suddenly began to ring out again.

"Cas – Cas? You ok? Talk to me, Cas!"

Dean set the phone down and grabbed a pair of jeans.

"Shake a leg, Sammy. Castiel sounds bad."

Sam had begun to stretch only to still and close his eyes. When they opened again, they were the electric blue that Dean had begun to dread as much as he was grateful to their owner...

"Zeke," Dean groaned. "What is it?"

"I thought you loved your brother, Dean."

Dean was furious. "You bet your feathery ass I love my little brother. How dare you -"

"Yet you are endangering him once again by bringing him around Castiel."

"Don't know if you've noticed, Zeke," Dean grimaced. "But we've been in danger since Sam was six months old."

"And Castiel..."

"Is out there, on his own, when he could have been safe in the bunker," Dean spat. "Now he's calling...for all I know, he's dead now. So wake Sam back up because he needs to get some pants on."

Sam's eyes blinked, returning to their normal hazel. Frowning at his brother, he stood up and moved to the door.

"I'm getting dressed, you don't have to talk to me like I'm not here you know."

Dean bent down to tie his boots. "Great, now I'm living with Sybil..."

It didn't take long for Dean and Sam to race to Castiel. But they were shocked when Castiel's GPS led them to an internet café.

Sitting down on either side of the former angel, they tried to make it look casual.

"Cas? Buddy? You ok?" Dean asked, attempting to look Castiel in the face.

"You look sick, Cas," Sam said in concern.

Castiel raised his eyes. "Dean? Dean, I do not feel that way about you. I do not want to have sex with you."

A couple of people glanced over, one frowning and the other smirking. Dean glared in return and the web trollers quickly turned away.

Dean put a weak smile on his face. "That's good, Cas. Because I like sex but I like it with women. You remember sex with women? You discovered it and liked it too."

"Yes," Castiel admitted. "Right until she tried to kill me. That was not how sex should be, right?"

"Most of the time," Dean shrugged. "Been a few one nighters that...well. We'll discuss that later, ok?"

Sam had started to chuckle, startling Dean.

"Sam, I don't think Cas' impending nervous breakdown is funny, do you?"

Shaking his head, Sam turned the monitor towards Dean. "I think we should have warned Castiel about fan fiction."

Dean groaned. "Cas – please tell me you haven't been reading this stuff. It's not emotionally healthy. It will tear you apart."

"Dean," Sam asked with a snicker, "have you been watching Dr. Phil again?"

Glaring at his brother, Dean forced a smile back on his face before speaking to Castiel.

"Castiel, this is all made up. It's not real."

"Chuck's stories about you were real," Cas argued.

"Cas, there is a big difference between Carver Edlund stories and fan fiction."

Sam laughed. "Especially Destiel stories."

"Watch it, Sammy," Dean growled. "Or I will show Cas the stories where your having my baby."

"I thought if I put in the stories that had you and I, it would be fun. We would have adventures. I did not want to have sex with you."

Dean smiled and patted Castiel's arm. "Feeling's mutual."

"Cas," Sam laughed. "Do yourself a favor...never read this stuff again."

"I promise, Sam," Castiel said reverently. "I promise."

A/N - Eh. Sammygirl1963 liked it.