If anybody told me that I would be in this position, I'll say that they were lying. I'd say they were fucking with me. But yet, again if anybody told me that I would become a vampire, they would have garnered the same response. And here I am a vampire. But, that's not my current dilemma. My current dilemma was Jane - Jane Volturi. I was pretty sure she was a dilemma for a great number of vampires but in a conventional way. You see Jane was a dilemma for me in an unconventional way. That is the only way I could describe it. I was nothing to her. Or so she said. She was everything to me. Ok, maybe I'm being a bit melodrama. But I liked her. I liked her a lot. That made me special, right? Not many people like Jane Volturi. Although there seems to be many that fear her.
But yet again not many people knew Jane Volturi. Knew her scars underneath the tough facade she wore. She didn't show me; I don't think she showed anybody except her brother, and maybe Aro. But I saw it, through all the time I spent with her. All the time, I spent loving her. But like I said, I meant nothing to her. Or so she says. Maybe it's time I actually start believing her.
"Do it better." She commanded, push my head down. My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own and had no hesitation or perhaps it was because I had done this so many times. This garnered a moan from her, making me proud. "Yes," She breathed, gripping my red hair. "Please." She begged. This is the only time Jane Volturi begged for anything and I was honored to be the only one to know. And who was I to deny her?
It was over soon after, and the silence filled the room. Eyes looking everywhere but each other and the awkwardness was starting to become too much. Shit. I recalled vowing to myself not to let this happen again - after our last conversation.
"I'm guessing your mission went - well." I trailed off as Jane sat up and moved towards the end of the bed.
She didn't respond, and I attempted to protect my emotions by thinking that it was just because she was in a hurry to get dressed, although I knew that was far from the truth.
As she managed to get her bra and dark turtle neck sweater on in less than a few seconds, she rose from the bed, looking for her jeans.
The awkwardness, or specifically, my awkwardness filled the room.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I even choose to bring up the mission? I knew that she couldn't disclose anything to me. It was against the rules, and one of the many things I knew about Jane was that she never breaks the rules.
Perhaps it was just the first thing that came to my mind as a way to fill the silence after we were done, and get her to stay longer, in contrast to her usual quick exit. I was dumb.
"Look." Her eyes peered down at me. Blank. Cold. Unfeeling. "What this is- It's just sex, ok?"
I wondered if I did a good job in masking the great feeling of disappointment and hurt that washed over me. Perhaps not, but still Jane walked towards the door, not waiting for an answer, confirmation, or grunt from me.
Before she left, she vocalized how our frequent meetings ended, "I'll leave first. Please be gone by the time I come back."
This time though, I was the first one to leave, without saying a word, but perhaps the regret still lingering in my eyes.
More to come; Hopefully soon.
