With or Without Me
The Kiss
AN: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters nor do I own the cover photo.
It was the day before an important exam. Ichigo wasn't ready, staying up late every night to fight hollows was taking a toll on him. It seemed like every time he'd get a chance to study or do homework his badge would go off. Luckily, Ichigo was staying caught up with all his school work thanks to all of Orihime's help. She took great notes for him to look at while he studied and once again, she was over at his place to make sure he passed their exam tomorrow. She'd stop by after work to bring some bread for his family and see if he needed any help. Ichigo was very careful not to offend her bread that "was not a bunch of rejects but extra bread made with love."
In all honesty, the bright-haired teen wasn't sure what he'd do without her or his family. She came over to help his sisters when they "became women", she was there to help Yuzu when she was starting to feel left out of life because she filled the mom role so young, and she talked everything out with Karin when she started to catch on to everything she missed when he first came into his powers. Isshin was so thankful he even made Ichigo take him to her apartment to thank her for everything she does for them, which lead to both of them crying. No one was surprised by that though, they could both be emotional, much to Ichigo's dismay. As Ichigo thought more on the subject, he and his hollow had no idea when Inoue became such a big part of his life.
The substitute soul reaper was pulled out of his thoughts when said healer shut her book. He watched as she stood from his bed to stretch her back, they have been studying for a good two hours. It always amazed him how comfy she could look while being very cute. Her leggings with warm socks matched her long white sweater. She had her hair put up for once, in a messy bun. Hell, she could wear anything and look perfect in his eyes.
"Kurosaki-kun? I think you understand it all now but do you want me to leave my notes with you in case you run across something you need help on?" She timidly inquired before leaving him on his own.
"Umm... sure. Thanks, Inoue." He stood, planning to walk his good friend to the front door when suddenly she stopped and looked at him with those big stormy eyes of hers. It was clear Inoue was nervous because she had her hands clenched while biting her lower lip. She took another timid step towards him before stopping again.
"Kur-Kurosaki-kun?"
"Yeah?" Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what would happen next.
"Do you think, that is, is it okay to be selfish every once and awhile? I mean if it doesn't hurt anyone?" Her face was bright red she couldn't even look at him. He couldn't figure out what was going on but whatever it was seemed to really be bothering her. And why wasn't she looking at him?
"Inoue, look at me. What's going on?" He asked while grabbing her chin to get her to finally look at him. She looked so scared. He couldn't stand that look on her, it made him think of all the things they've been through in the past. All the times he failed to protect her and she ended up getting hurt.
"Do you? Think it's okay? Even if it could change everything? She persisted. Those smoky eyes of hers were full of determination.
"Yeah, I mean we're all selfish sometimes. Plus, change doesn't have to be bad Inoue."
She nodded her head before she took another step closer. She kept this up until she was right in front of him, she reached her hands up slowly until they were on his face. His eyes were wide as he waited to see what she'd do next. He couldn't help but blush at how close they were. 'What the hell is she doing?' He wondered.
"Do you trust me?" She questioned.
"Of course." He didn't even think before answering her.
"Close your eyes." She requested.
Giving her one last look of confusion, he slowly closed his eyes. The feel of hands on his face intensified along with her smell. She always smelled so sweet, maybe it was what she eats? No, that couldn't be it because she always ate such odd things...
All thoughts stopped when he felt her lips touch his. 'Holy shit!' Ichigo thought when his brain started functioning again.
It was a quick but she pushed a little harder this time, trying to get him to kiss her back. He felt something wet on his cheek as she pulled away. His eyes opened and he saw tears running down her face. Ichigo was stuck at 'oh my Gods, we kissed!' and hadn't moved a muscle. He didn't kiss her back and he didn't register why she'd be crying right now. It was pure shock and confusion for him.
She backed away, still looking at him as she bent down to pick up her bag. It was like she was trying to memorize everything about him. He finally came to when she talked again.
"I'm so s-so so-r-ry. I just, I h-had to tr-y. I-It won't happen again, I promise." Orihime sobbed before she ran to open his door and fled down the stairs to the front door. She was hoping everyone would be busy so she could make it out of his house without anyone seeing her but it looked like the Gods weren't going to allow that to happen.
Once down the stairs, she had to pass by the living room to reach the front door. To her horror, all of the remaining Kurosaki members were sitting there watching a show. They looked over, getting ready to say goodbye when they saw her face. Isshin instantly stood getting ready to walk over to her when she put her hand up. If he touched her she'd lose what little control she had over her emotions. Orihime's only thought was to get out of here and home where it was safe.
"I'm sorry" was all she could get out before she rushed to put her boots on and ran home with speed and endurance Orihime didn't know she possessed.
When they heard the door close, Isshin looked towards his daughters with a "stay here" glance before slowly walking up the stairs to talk to his son. Hopefully, the issue could be fixed. The young woman was already a large part of their family, but no one would hurt more than his son.
Ichigo was still standing in the same spot that she kissed him. He didn't know what to think, not that it mattered. His father walked into his room before Ichigo could figure anything out. The confused teen was expecting to get kicked or punched by the crazy old man; however, all his dad did was come in and sit on his desk chair. He didn't say anything or even look at him. He just sat with forearms on his knees looking at his hands waiting for Ichigo to start talking. This day just kept getting stranger by the minute for Ichigo.
He walked to his bed and sat down, much like his father but his head was in his hands, pulling on his already messy hair. "She kissed me."
If Isshin wasn't ready to listen, he wouldn't have heard that small confession from his son. Isshin wasn't blind, hell, anyone could see the tow bright-haired teens had a special relationship. It was how he and his late wife acted before they admitted anything. It was a bit different since Orihime was shy but the older man knew one thing was clear, the two teens were in sync. Without talking they'd know what the other needed and neither of them had ever doubted the other. When the retired captain heard from an old friend in soul society that his son died, Isshin was devastated. Grateful to have another chance with his son but still heartbroken. When he asked how Ichigo was brought back to him, his friend explained that Inoue-chan brought him back by pleading to him. That kind of bond was unheard of! From that moment on, he knew his son was meant to be with her. Isshin just wasn't sure if it was the right time or not, this kiss would change things. He just hoped for the better.
"Did you like it?" He asked Ichigo without looking up.
"Wh-what do you mean?!" Ichigo was bright red in the face, was his dad really trying to be a perv at a moment like this?
"Not like that. Did you feel anything? Was it like being kissed by your sisters?" Isshin was trying to help without giving away any answers. This was something his son would have to figure out on his own.
Ichigo started to think about the kiss. He did feel something, but could he really act on it? No. He couldn't lose her like he did his mom. His father knew him too well to let that train of thought continue.
"Son, I have always tried to let you live your life. You know what you are doing and with everything you have gone through, you are an adult. You may only be 17 but you've done more in your short life than most. With that said, can you stand by and let her go? She's waited years for you. If you don't let her in you'll lose her to someone else. Can you handle that? Her in someone else's arms? Spending less time with you and more time with him. Starting life with this other man?" Maybe jealousy could get his stubborn son to let down some walls he built around his heart.
Everything his father was saying started pissing Ichigo off more and more. The idea of her with someone else wasn't going over well with him. But he couldn't handle the idea of getting close to her and someone using her to get to him. What if he failed her again and Orihime was hurt, or worse?
"I can't." Was all Ichigo could respond.
Isshin stood and patted his son on the back in a supportive way. "I hope you know what you're doing, son. You fear you'll lose her if you do try to build a relationship with her but if you don't try you are guaranteed to lose her."
He walked out and went to talk to his girls. It would be best if they were elsewhere when Ichigo went after the healer that won over all their hearts. Sometimes his son could be a little slow when it came to emotions and women... Maybe his son was doomed after all.
It took Ichigo about five minutes to realize what his father said was true. He ran out the door, down the stairs, and put his shoes on. He had to talk to Orihime. IF it wasn't too late, he couldn't lose her. Not now, not after the door to a relationship with Inoue was finally open.
Orihime was laying in her bed, crying her heart out. He didn't kiss her back. Orihime, at long last, finally put herself out there. She knew there was a possibility, she always wondered if she read into things too much when it came to him but seeing it with her own eyes killed her. The emotional teen didn't want to think about seeing him tomorrow at school. She was even thinking about the possibility of calling in sick. She could fail one exam and still get a good great with how high her grades were.
"Inoue."
Jumping, she turned to the doorway to see Ichigo standing there, breathing hard. He looked like a mess. If Ichigo looked like she felt then Orihime didn't want to know what she currently looked like. Orihime assumed he used the emergency key under her mat to come in. He could have easily knocked and she missed it by her loud cries.
"Wh-what are y-you doing h-here?" She tried to ask but her sobs were making it difficult.
"Oh, Inoue." He went over to her and dropped to his knees in front of the futon. He didn't even think, he just pulled her into his arms and held her while she cried. Orihime cried until there was nothing left. Gripping his shirt as hard as she could, Orihime pulled back enough to see his damp shirt. She felt bad his shirt was so wet and she didn't want to get comfort from him but she couldn't push him away. He always made her feel safe, even now.
"Why are you here?" She asked when she could finally talk again, though her voice was a little rough.
"I'm sorry, Inoue. I-I don't know what to do." He answered honestly.
She pulled back a little to look at him. His face may not show much but his eyes would give everything away.
"What do you mean? I told you I would leave you alone. I won't push myself on you." She was hurt, how could he think so low of her?
"No Inou- Orihime, I-I want this. I just, I don't know what to do. OR where we go from here." He said while his chocolate eyes peered into her smoky ones. His heart was beating out of his chest. He wasn't ready to open up completely but he could try if she was okay with that. He wasn't a romantic guy or a guy of many words. He was just him. Would he be enough to make her happy?
She gasped as he said her name. That was the first time he'd ever called her that. She couldn't help the butterflies she felt in her stomach when he spoke. Orihime refused to believe he'd actually want her of all people.
"I don't understand. Are you upset with me for the kiss? Do you want to be with me?" She questioned. She didn't want to push him but at the same time, she had to hear it from him so there was no mistake. Orihime's heart couldn't take it.
He pulled her closer and hugged her tight. He leaned his head down so his mouth rested on the top of her head before speaking again, "I want to try to be with you. I can't promise anything but I also can't lose you."
She pulled back right away and looked at him. Shock clearly showed on her face while he showed determination with a bit of fear.
"You mean it?" She couldn't help but ask. This was just too good to be true.
"Yes."
More tears started to fall but this time from pure joy. She loved this man. She loved all of him, even when she was faced with the hollow inside him. She gave him the biggest and brightest smile she could muster before hugging him back while trying to remember not to squeeze too tight.
"Do you want to try? See where this takes us?" Oddly, even after the kiss, he was scared. He had fought in wars; hell, he even died and yet asking this one well two simple questions was scarier than all of that. It was only a few seconds before Orihime nodded her head, yes but it felt like years for the poor man.
He gave her a smile back, a real full blown one.
"I have another question for you... Can we, I mean, could we have a do-over? That first kiss was pretty lame." He asked while rubbing the back of his head.
She giggled before he quieted her with a small kiss. Neither knew if they were dating, boyfriend-girlfriend, or what. All they knew was they were trying for more. Oddly enough, even after she made the first move and kissed him, Ichigo was still scared.
