A/N: I've just broken my number one rule. Never write another story when you're not done with the other one. I really need a breather from As If It Could Get Any Weirder, because it's been a year that I've been using 'she', 'her' and 'sister' for Hikaru.

Now it's actually weird for me to call him a guy, especially in this fic.

Warning : I hope you won't get offended by all the stereotypes about gender and sexuality. It's a dumb fanfiction, just like AIICGAW (much shorter this way), it's really just because Kaoru's seen as the girlier twin for some reason, and more and more people know that Kaoru's canonically homosexual (or not, in the French version it says it's his role so I don't know).

Plus, isn't Ouran a cliché shoujo anime ? So there has to be some fics filled with stereotypes. And OOC-ness, Hikaru is pretty mean in this chapter.


Friendzoned

Kaoru glanced at his to-do-list once again, checking whether he fulfilled all the steps on it.

- Know the girl's name. - checked

- Become a friendly acquaintance to her. - checked

- Build a friendship with her. - checked

- Spend a lot of time with her. - checked, but I'd never cut my bonding time with Hikaru out, I mean, that's out of the question. Therefore, partly checked.

- Get to know more of her. - checked

- Be the bestest of her best friends. - checked

After having made sure he got through all these steps, Kaoru looked up and smiled proudly at himself.

'Today's the day.' He mentally exclaimed, brandishing his fist before his head.

The only thing he had to do now was to write her a letter, thus they would meet at the end of the school.

Hence why today, Kaoru had dragged his twin along with him an hour before the first school period would start.

It had been only ten minutes that Kaoru was blocked on how to start the note he'd send to his crush. Kaoru was on his usual seat in the classroom they'd get their first lesson of the day.

Hikaru had pulled a chair closer to his brother's table, just so he could be next to him. His elbow against the table, to rest his chin on his hand, the older twin looked at the still empty piece of paper that Kaoru was struggling with.

It was becoming very boring to solely wait for the younger twin to write something down on the paper, therefore, he started drumming on the table with his fingers.

"So… Kaoru?" Hikaru eventually asked, sighing as he looked at his brother. The latter was frowning at his sudden lack of imagination.

"I don't know Hikaru ! I need to be romantic ! B-but… Every word which goes through my head makes me feel dumb and I just can't seem to write anything down !" Kaoru exclaimed, feeling a little frustrated and anxious.

Hikaru rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Just… Write something. I might die out of extreme boredom if you don't." He sighed again, exasperated. He wasn't really the one with a solid patience.

Suddenly, an idea popped in the younger Hitachiin's head and he quickly lifted his head up with a bright smile.

"Hikaru ! Do you think I should doodle some things on the paper ? Maybe hearts, flowers… What do you think ?" He asked his brother, who narrowed his eyes in misunderstanding.

"Why would you do that ?" Not only was he not a love expert but, Kaoru's idea also sounded way too cheesy to endear someone, let alone a girl. The younger brother seemed to have been taken aback at his twin's question. Kaoru frowned, disappointed.

"Sorry Kaoru, but I think that's too girly of a thing to do, for a guy when he's writing a love letter." Hikaru stated before adding, "Look, just tell her when and where you'd like to meet her at the end of the day."

Kaoru's pout turned into a smile once again. Then, he started writing a few, simple, sentences.

"Please, meet me at 5 P.M. in front of the Academy's fence. I have something to tell you." He read what he'd just written out loud and smiled even more, showing off his teeth.

"That's perfect, or so I think." Hikaru told his twin with a small smile. In fact, he wasn't certain whether what he advised his brother to write was the right thing to scribble down on a love note.

But, Kaoru looked very content and even he could somehow see a kind of invisible weight lifting off his twin's shoulders.

The Hitachiin brothers headed to the location wherein stood the first year A students' lockers. Kaoru didn't have to look for his crush's locker forever.

He knew exactly where it was.

"There it is, I can put the letter in here." Kaoru mumbled to himself, feeling his heartbeat racing up a bit.

Eventually, he made the letter fly in the locker's slot. Kaoru took a few steps back and wheezed out, his breath slightly shaky from anticipation.

"It's done." He said, earning a pat on the shoulder from Hikaru.


Today was a long day for the Forbidden Act's uke. He couldn't pay attention to any lesson since something else was on his mind.

Finally, the Host Club closed and Kaoru quickly grabbed his schoolbag before running to the Academy's main door.

The closer he got to the location, the clearer the girl's silhouette that stood in front of the door became.

Here she was, with her light brown hair that was adorned with a huge pink ribbon on the back. Kaoru arrived in front of her, bent over a little with his hands on his knees, panting.

"...Renge..." He breathed out, happy that she had received his letter and done what he had asked her.

"Oh. Kaoru, you're the one who wanted to tell me something ?" Renge's eyes were as wide as circles, but she was more content than surprised. She giggled, wondering what her best friend could have meant by 'something important to say'.

The latter blushed a little and sat up straight as he started rubbing the nape of his neck.

"Renge… I-I love you." Kaoru blurted out, without even thinking. He had been longing that moment to come for awhile, he couldn't hold himself back anymore.

Nonetheless, he started trembling as he noticed Renge didn't show any signs of feeling moved by his confession.

"That's what you wanted to tell me ?" She asked, tilting her head. She was completely dumbfounded.

Before Kaoru could even step closer to his crush, Renge started giggling loudly.

"You're so silly Kaoru ! I love you too, you're my best friend !" Kaoru felt arms wrapping around his frame.

But that wasn't the only thing he felt. He could have sworn a pan had fallen on his head, crushing him.

"No girl could ever ask for a better gay best friend !" She added, rubbing her cheek against his blazer.

There, he felt it again.

Another pan fell on his head.

'What…?' He asked himself, almost feeling his eyes welling up, but he didn't know the reason why he'd be crying.

'What just happened…?' He stood there, frozen as Renge kept her arms tightly wrapped around his waist.


That evening, Kaoru came back home without saying a word to his brother and carrying that same poker face.

Hikaru sighed, struggling with his English homework, while Kaoru was laying on their bed, lifelessly.

He kept glancing at the ceiling, without blinking.

"...Hikaru..." Kaoru spoke up, waking his twin out of his train of thoughts. The said boy turned his head to face his brother.

"What's the matter Kaoru ? You barely spoke on our way home. Did something happen with that otaku ?" He asked, feeling concerned for his twin.

"… Renge...rejected me. Because I'm her gay best friend." Kaoru replied, sounding emotionless.

The atmosphere felt ponderous suddenly, as a long silence settled down in the conversation. Hikaru rubbed his chin for a little while, trying to come up with something to say.

"Well… Kaoru… just… I don't know, act like a man for a change." Kaoru's eyes widened as his twin's words shot him right through his heart.

"What are you implying ?" The younger twin sat up on the bed, his brows creasing into a frown.

"Well, you act like a girl." Hikaru stated, blinking.

"You've just hurt my pride, Hikaru. You've hurt it very bad." Kaoru clearly wasn't expecting those words to come from his twin's mouth.

"And I understand. I wouldn't like to hear it from my brother's mouth either." The older brother nodded, failing at looking understanding.

This made Kaoru angry.

He was actually mad this time.

"Why would you say that !? Your statement about me being girly and feminine is completely unfounded !" Kaoru asked, louder this time.

Hikaru didn't agree on that point, he sighed and it was a sad sigh, because he didn't like it at all when Kaoru was angry. And this time, his brother was mad at him, for that matter.

"Our guests would say otherwise though." The older twin frowned as he saw his twin gritting his teeth in anger.

"The customers only see us at the Host Club, that means they see me as the uke in our 'relationship', hence why they'd think that. But it's an act, Hikaru !" Kaoru whined, trying to contain his anger inside.

"I know it is, but it's not just about the Host Club. The female students tend to get crushes on me more than you because I'm manlier." Hikaru said, scrunching his nose up.

This made Kaoru laugh bitterly.

"Where did you get that idea from ?" He snorted, knowing his twin was just boasting. Unfortunately for him, he felt tears falling down on his cheeks.

Then, he covered his face in his hands and Hikaru hurried over to him.

"I-I'm sorry Kaoru… I was just teasing you." He confessed as he pulled his twin in a tight hug. What he didn't expect was what his brother said between sniffles.

"N-No. Hikaru, you're right. I'll never be able to think of being in a relationship with Renge if I don't start acting more like a man." At that sentence, Hikaru frowned, wondering if he had gone too far with his jokes.

"No, Kaoru, you're amazing. Plus-" He got cut off by the said boy who snickered darkly. The younger redhead squirmed his way out of Hikaru's arms and posed dramatically.

Kaoru ran his hand in his hair and flashed his twin a smile that resembled the Shadow King's smirk.

"I'll become the manliest man ever alive." He declared, in the deepest pitch he could muster. Sparkles were all around him.

And Hikaru swore he felt his own heart skip a beat.


A/N: Don't throw all your pans at me please. Kaoru's seen as girlier than Hikaru in many fics, so I just wondered... What could his reaction be about that ?

I know lots wouldn't mind being called girly, nor boyish. But, gender seems to matter a lot in this anime and manga.

To my mind, the Host Club really seemed to mind that Haruhi's a girl and not a boy. So, I don't think Kaoru would really take it well to be called 'feminine'. Even though he's playing the uke at the Host Club. (and I'd like to add that not every uke is feminine). So, this fic is just going to be about him wanting to gain the love of the girl of his dreams by trying to become what is, to his mind, 'manlier'.

Really, it's a fic meant for fun, even the name of the story is a pun. So, I really ask you not to flame this story.

Thanks for reading :)