"YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT UNTIL I GET BIG AGAIN SO I CAN FUCKING SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!"

Tobi rolled his eyes, "It's not Tobi's fault this time so don't blame him! He's in the same predicament!"

Deidara snapped, "WE DON'T CARE! NOW RETURN US BACK TO NORMAL UN!" Madara was just as livid, "Don't just stand there you fools! Do something!"

The puppetmaster sighed and looked down at the misfortunate.

Deidara, Hidan, Madara, Itachi, Tobi, and Lexy got….shrunk. They were the size of an average Barbie doll and the raven quickly covered Tobi's mouth to keep him from even mentioning it aloud.

Lexy shrieked like mad, "WELL!? WHO DID THIS TO US!?"

Kakuzu smirked under his mask; quite frankly he found this situation hilarious since it didn't involve him but stroked his lover's hair, "This should be a perfect example not to try any jutsu yet Olivia."

The woman pouted as the shrunken ones stared at her with their mouths ajar as she murmured, "I thought it would be fun to try that jutsu….it just didn't work out the way I wanted it too."

Madara grunted, "Why did you want to shrink us?" "Not all of you! Just me and Tobi so we could play."

Hidan yelled, "PLAY WHAT!? DOLLS!?"

"YEAH SO!?"


The shriek from her voice made the others cover their ears before the jashinist crossed his arms with a huff.

"Look…I'm sorry. According to Kakuzu it'll wear off in a while so calm down." Sasori grinned, "I don't blame them for being angry….I already have a cruel idea what we can do to them."

Zetsu licked his lips, "So do I." "Delicious."

The small cringed at the mere image and warily took some…well….a LOT of steps back away from Zetsu.

Tobi suddenly grinned, "I'm thinking of a song~" Zetsu nodded, "Me too~" Olivia giggled, "Not THAT song!?"

Lexy face palmed…she knew what it was….this situation was too perfect to pass up.

Kakuzu snorted as did Sasori, "If you three are going to sing some childish song…we're gone." "NO! HUMOR US!" "STOP FUCKING YELLING UP THERE! IT HURTS!"

Zetsu, Olivia, and even Kisame circled the shrunken individuals with evil grins as Kakuzu and Sasori sat at the table. They didn't sing but stated in a melodious manner.

Olivia grinned, "Gentlemen, go on down and invite our friends to dinner~"

We are the creatures of the night and we invite you all for dinner.

They picked each of them up.

There's plenty of food to go around when the food is you…

Lexy whimpered, "Who me?"


Yes you!

Kisame poked her stomach and made her fall down into the palm of his hand with a scowl.

We thought a picnic would be nice and we're so pleased that you could join us.

Zetsu threw a picnic cloth over the table and they set them all into the middle.

We're glad you're home, treat or treat, falalalala…How sweet!

Olivia nudged Kakuzu and he growled evilly just to humor her.

"Now's the time to say your prayers..Times up!"

Falalalala How sweet!...Falalalala Let's Eat!

Zetsu slid them across the table and the large beings slammed their fists on the table, causing the shrunken ones to be sent flying straight up and being caught by whoever they landed in front of.

Olivia giggled like mad as Madara gave her the evil eye with his arms crossed, Hidan was yelling at Kakuzu to put him down, Tobi was laughing along with Zetsu since he found this funny, Deidara was shouting at Sasori just as bad as the jashinist did, whereas Itachi rolled his eyes as Lexy smirked in Kisame's grasp.

"That was FUN! Let's do it again!" "NO UN!"


Kakuzu snorted, "Well, I'm done for the day. Let me know when the…children…grow up." There was a unison of death glares towards the miser when the woman whispered into Zetsu's ear, the bipolar man chuckling evilly and nodding before leaving.

"Hey! Hey! Where the fuck is HE going?" Olivia rubbed the tip of her finger on top of Hidan's head musing, "He'll be right back baby~"

The jashinist blushed and turned around huffing…that is until a gruesome thought hit him.

He pointed at the giants threatening, "IF ANY OF YOU FUCKING HEATHENS SHOVE ME UP SOMEONE'S ASS I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU ALL!'

Deidara and Lexy both knocked Hidan on the head snapping, "Don't say that un!" "You'll give them ideas!"

Sasori smirked, "I find that amusing as well, but we're not that cruel…at least I'm not." "Yeah right Danna un." "I can still hear you brat."

Lexy rubbed her temples in aggravation before paling when the bipolar man came around the corner, "What in hell is that!?"

Zetsu set a large dollhouse onto the floor, picking up all the tiny individuals and placing them in front of it. Tobi squealed in delight whereas the others looked appalled and disgusted.

Madara looked up at them, "I thought I'd seen everything in this organization, but nothing as disturbing as this. Why may I ask do you lot have a doll house!?"

Tobi explained, "Um…you remember that jutsu that went wrong Tobi told you about when Sasori, Zetsu, and Hidan became parents to us?" "Yes."

Deidara muttered, "They even bought us toys such as this, along with other childish things to entertain us un." "I see….but why do you still have them?"


Hidan smirked, "Simple. We're going to fucking need all that crap when Olivia has my children." The elder raven furrowed his brows, "Pardon?"

Itachi rolled his eyes, "I told you this some time ago Madara. The only reason Olivia became a jashinist in the first place is because Jashin wants her to have Hidan's children."

Hidan puffed out his chest proudly, "That's fucking right. Jashin-sama made her immortal like me so our children would be born pure jashinists and that's a fucking high honor."

Kakuzu snorted, "Like hell it is, that god of yours caused her nothing but grief that one year and even made us believe she was DEAD! Or have you forgotten that!?"

Olivia held his arm and nuzzled it soothingly, murmuring sweet things to calm the miser down. That subject was very taboo with him; he never forgave Jashin for all that drama. True she was still miffed about it too somewhat but it's in the past.

"I hate to break up this little spat but let's get to it already!" "It's time for a play~"

Sasori smirked, "A marionette show?" Kisame laughed, "This I have to see, I'll make some popcorn." Itachi's mouth went ajar, "You're going to let them humiliate us!? I'm surprised at you Kisame!"

"Aww don't be sore at me Itachi…this'll be fun~" Lexy huffed, "Yeah for you."

The pint-sized people couldn't do anything except go along with what Olivia and Zetsu had planned, Sasori already filming the show when it started to have a laugh later on.

They even wrote out the script for the scene and it began…even having the misfortunate in costumes to boot.


*The scene was set and titled: Loves Labor Won.

Kakuzu was forced to narrate in his gruff tone, reading the plot from the paper he was handed:

The hero is left in a desperate situation, facing certain death as he is tied in front of the mouth of a large cannon.

Itachi stood there was a vague expression as he pretended to be tied up in front of Hidan's iron spike.

Meanwhile at the old mill, we find our innocent victim Lexy in the clutches of Hidan; with the help of a fake parson (Deidara), he is about to force her to marry him.

What chance does this weak and helpless maiden have against such a fiend?

Kakuzu scowled and muttered, "What a ridiculous script." Olivia playfully smacked his thigh and motioned for the 'dolls' to act.

Lexy was wearing a purple dress and Hidan in a black trench cost and pants…no shirt obviously…and he found this scene actually fun.

The damsel was resisting as best as she could, the villain keeping a tight hold on her with a wide grin as she cried out, "Weasel-chan! Come and save me Weasel-chan!"

Kisame snorted in laughter as did Kakuzu, the raven glaring up at them in the process.

Itachi replied in the distance with no enthusiasm, which earned him a sharp poke to his back, "Oh look what that villain has done to me."

Hidan found this struggle a challenge since the brunette was going overboard and getting more violent before boasting, "He is through. He is through. I am going to fucking marry you!"


Lexy gasped and declared, "That will never never do!" Then she punched him hard in the jaw and sent him falling onto his back cursing up a storm as she tiptoed over, cooing so innocently it was laughable.

"Can you see that I'm just a helpless maiden? Can't. You. See?~" She curtsied so prettily before muttering along with Madara who was smirking from the house, "Like hell she is."

Hidan grinned like mad and growled….along with Kisame; "What a gal~"

The chase was on, Deidara gloomily following them until Lexy bumped into Tobi…who was pretending to be an alligator as she called for help again.

Itachi sighed and broke free from his restraints as last before rushing over, firmly shoving the boy away and giving him a small kick to his backside to make him rush off in defeat.

Hidan took that moment to hurl Lexy over his shoulder, trotting off with an evil chuckle as it was Madara's turn to be an obstacle. He refused to act silly among the men and just wore something similar to Hidan; the two ravens pathetically shoving and fake punching each other until the elder plopped down onto the ground with a groan muttering he was defeated.

Itachi rolled his eyes at the snickering heard from above and found Hidan holding Lexy captive, rushing to her rescue with a giant leap and swift kick to his side; the jashinist blocked it and was forced to let the maiden go, then the two started fighting….with a little enthusiasm than before until Hidan cried out, clutching his chest and groaning loud before falling to the ground.

"You..You fucking got me! Curse you Weasel-chan!"

After hearing that Itachi burst out laughing, unable to help himself since Hidan had that unique gift of making him laugh anyway. Lexy cried out with joy and flung her arms around his shoulders cooing, "My hero!"

She then kissed him…but couldn't stop. Itachi smirked but was trying to push her away but the teen refused until her giant friend pulled her away by the end of the dress, "Stick to the script Lexy~"

Madara sighed, "Are we finished?"

"Sorry my friend, but you five have one more play to do."

TBC:


Purely a humor story but with some smut implied…or dirty talk. Hope everyone likes the change of pace Review please ;3

The first song is from the cartoon movie: Rock A Doodle (if you don't recognize it) you can see it on youtube. Rock a doodle part 13 (the song starts at 1 min 30 sec)

The play is from: Mighty Mouse Loves Labor Won (which also can be found on youtube, just type that in) though I did make a few changes.

P.S. If no one remembers or knows how Olivia became a jashinist or the incident they're talking about with her having Hidan's kids it's on the stories 'prevention failure' and 'come back home'

read the 'prevention failure' first then the 'come back home'