Heys, this is my first fan fiction, and hopefully *fingers crossed* it's not totally terrible. Anyway this is the first chapter I might put more chapters on depends on the response. I Don't own criminal minds or the characters, if I did I'd be a very happy fifteen year old ;) So here you go *big sigh* this is my story… oh yeah it's on Reid and Prentiss (I'm a big R/P shipper) okay now I'm gonna stop stalling…
Chapter 1
Spencer Reid knew everything, he could work anything or anyone out, except Emily Prentiss. She was a complete mystery to him; even after dating for two years Spencer still couldn't figure her out. "Hey Reid, are you nearly done?" Emily asked from over her desk.
"Nearly, why do you need to go now?" he asked as she raised an eyebrow.
"Then I think you'll be done faster if you quit staring into space" she teased. Spencer could feel himself blush. He knew full well that Emily knew he was staring at her. She got up from her desk and made her way down a corridor, before looking over her shoulder at Reid giving him a sly smile. Spencer knew exactly where she was going and that he would give it three minutes and then head to the storage cupboard.
"Hey" she whispered as Spencer closed the door behind him.
"Hey" he replied, wrapping his hand around Emily's small waist pulling her closer to him, his breath was getting caught in his throat as she moved her hands around Spencer's neck and reached up to meet his lips with hers. Spencer loved the taste of her lips, the shots of electricity he got whenever she touched him. Reluctantly he pulled away from the kiss. He needed a semi clear head before he told her what he wanted to tell her.
"What's wrong?" She asked concern in her enticing dark chocolate eyes.
"Nothing, just not here" he replied, she raised an eyebrow she knew that wasn't the real reason.
"That didn't stop you yesterday" she smirked with a sly grin "so what's really bugging you" she asked again.
"Em, we've been dating for two years, fifteen days, two hours and forty two minutes… What?" he asked as Emily let out a small chuckle.
"Should I be worried you know that?"
"Probably not" he smiled before he continued "and you know I love you yeah?" he asked softly. Emily was starting to get worried.
"Yes and I love you too but you're stalling what are you trying to say?"
"I want to tell the team about us" he blurted. Emily took in a deep breath and looked in Spencer's eyes.
"Spence, I love you but…" she began; choosing her words very carefully.
"But you're embarrassed of me" he mumbled.
"No, that's not it"
"Then what is it Emily? You say you love me but you won't let me meet your mother, you won't let me tell the team, our family that we are together, so what conclusion am I supposed to come to?" he asked her, Emily looked hurt by his outburst.
"Why do you care so much?" she asked mentally kicking herself for asking that.
"They're as good as my family Em, you know that"
"Yeah I do but…" she was lost for words she knew she was in a lose-lose situation. On one hand she wanted to tell everyone about them, she wanted to be able to walk into the office holding his hand. She wanted to be out with the team and be able to kiss him on the cheek and to tell him she loved him using those words not their "office speak". Spencer took her silence as a bad sign and stormed out the cupboard. Emily sat on the floor to recapture her lost composure.
Two years ago.
Emily sat in her apartment putting ice on one of her many bruises. She winced slightly as the cold hit her warm skin. But it wasn't the bruises that were on Emily's mind, it wasn't the circumstances that led to her body being covered in bruises. It was what happened after Cyrus's ranch had blown up, it was the hug she'd shared with Dr Spencer Reid, Emily had felt butterflies in her stomach and an overwhelming feeling of safety when she was in his arms. Later on the jet Emily went to speak to Spencer to ask him not to feel guilty for her taking a beating from Cyrus, when he started rubbing her knuckles tendarly and the butterflies started again, he was no longer Dr Spencer Reid the dorky socially awkward genious. He was Spencer Reid the handsome young man who was charming, funny and someone Emily would only be to happy to spend the night with. Emily heard the knocking on her apartment door. "just push it, the doors open" she called. she realised it was unsafe leaving the door like that but she knew how to use a gun. Spencer walked through the door closing it gently behind him. "Jesus Emily" he said as he saw the bruises that marked her creamy skin.
"Oh, don't worry about it, they're my war wounds, I wear them with pride." She smirked trying to lighten the tension, but she could still see the guilt in his eyes. "Spence, what do I have to do to make you feel less guilty?" she asked. Spencer looked at her strangely "what?" she asked, were her bruises that bad? She didn't think so after all she'd had worse.
"You called me Spence" he mumbled.
"Oh, is it something only JJ does?" she asked worried that it was only okay when JJ calls him it.
"No one other than JJ calls me Spence" he replied smiling, Emily smiled back
"So Dr Reid, what brings you here at two am?"
"I couldn't sleep and I assumed you couldn't either" he sat himself on the couch next to Emily.
"Having trouble turning off that mind of yours?" she asked.
"I should of said it was me Emily, it should be me with those bruises not you." He blurted out taking Emily by surprise. She moved closer to him took his hands and locked her gaze onto his.
"Is that what you believe? You honestly think Cyrus would have beat you up? Because if that's so you're not as smart as everyone makes out. You know as well as I do Cyrus would have shot you right then and there. How do you think I'd of felt watching him do that to you? Like I said on the jet it's not your fault, it was my decision and I would do it again" she stated her eyes were deadly serious. Spencer could feel himself getting lost in her eyes and the warmth and softness in her hands. Spencer knew he was loosing all inhibitions when he leaned in and softly kissed her on the lips, Emily was in shock at first but soon she felt herself deepening the kiss, letting his tongue explore her mouth, Spencer was the first to pull away "Em, I'm sorry that was…" he was interrupted by Emily placing her lips onto his this time she moved herself onto his lap and ran her hands through his soft slightly curled dirty blonde hair. He found himself placing one hand on the small of her back gently stroking it and running the other through her raven hair. Emily let out a small moan, then Spencer pulled away again. "Not tonight Em" he breathed gently lifting Emily off his lap. She curled into him resting her head on his chest enjoying the sound of his heart beating. In one sense or another she was sleeping with Reid tonight.
Spencer woke the next morning to find Emily's head still resting on his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around her waist, her raven hair covering her face. Spencer couldn't deny the feeling of warmth that was spreading through his entire body. He moved his hand off her waist to brush her hair off her face, when he felt her beginning to wake up.
Emily looked up at Spencer who was smiling at her. "Morning" he whispered gently.
"Morning, did you sleep okay?" she asked quietly, waiting for herself to fully register that she was awake.
"Yeah, Emily about last night…" he began before Emily cut him off.
"Spence, we only kissed. It's not a crime" she smiled looking in his hazel eyes she knew that she liked him a lot more than a co-worker, but was she willing to make herself that vulnerable and tell him? She took a deep breath. "Look Spence, there is another reason I took that beating" Spencer had confusion written all over his face, Emily took in all his features and bit the inside of her lip before she continued "I like you to much to let someone hurt you" Spencer still looked confused. She was going to have to spell this out. "Okay Spence, I like you a lot more than a friend" the penny finally dropped and for one of the few times in his life Spencer was speechless.
"You do?" he asked the shock evident in his voice.
"Yeah, for a long time, what are you smirking at?" she demanded.
"Nothing, it's just I've liked you for ages as well" he said running a hand through her soft hair. Emily pulled his head down to meet hers, kissing him softly.
Emily smiled as she remembered how they first got together she couldn't believe it had been two years, and now it felt like she was loosing him and this made her terrified. Emily stood up and walked out of the cupboard and straight into Penelope Garcia who gave her a surprised smile. "What you doing in there… or who?" she grinned looking around her shoulder into the empty room.
"Nothing I just needed five minutes" she did not want to get into this now so she walked away quickly leaving behind a stunned Garcia.
Emily got back to her desk giving a quick glance at Spencer who was concentrating on a file. Emily reached for her phone.
"~ Spence, I'm not embarrassed by you, don't you think I want to be able to hug you whenever I want or tell you I love you in front of everyone? But you know Strauss will use any opportunity to split up the team, do you want to be the reason for that? I love you. Emily xx~"
she hit the send button and glanced up at Spencer, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he looked up to see Emily quickly glance away, he knew she was the one who had just text him, he sighed as he read it, which caused Emily to look up, he gave her an unforgiving look and put his phone away. He wasn't going to settle this over text. Emily went back to work, she knew the day was going to go very slowly if she couldn't speak to Spencer.
XXX
Spencer knocked on the door to Emily's apartment and she got up to let him in. She opened the door and smiled at him, but he didn't return it. "Hey" she said nervously, stepping back to let him in. Spencer walked past her without a greeting. "So I'm getting the silent treatment" she asked, Spencer shot her a confused look "it's an expression" she said exasperated.
"Do you?" he asked suddenly. Now it was Emily's turn to look confused.
"Do I what?" she asked.
"You said on your text that you love me, do you?"
"Yes with all my heart"
"Really?" he asked "because you have a funny way of showing it"
Emily was shocked and hurt by Spencer's questioning. "How do I have a funny way of showing it?" she asked not sure she was going to like the answer.
"You say you love me yet when I think about I feel like I don't know anything about you, yet you know almost everything about me" he almost shouted.
"Spence, you're being ridiculous, I tell you everything"
"Oh you do, do you? Then why won't you tell me the real reason you pushed so hard on the Benton case?"
"Oh my God Spence that was nearly two years ago, so what's your real problem here?" she spat.
"This, whatever this is because I don't know anymore"
Emily was hurt and she could feel tears burning like acid in her eyes. "Matthew was an old friend, isn't it normal to have been upset that he was murdered and if I didn't push so hard others would have died"
"Do you know what, I don't think you're telling the whole story"
"Fine! He went with me to get an abortion when I was fifteen, you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Emily was a mixture of emotions she was furious at Spencer for forcing this out of her, sad that he questioned her love for him.
"Oh, Emily…" he stuttered.
"You know what? It doesn't even matter it was a long time ago"
"Emily, I… well that's just it I don't know anymore"
"You don't know if you love me" it was more a statement than question
"What are we doing Emily?"
Emily moved closer to Spencer but he moved further away from her "Spence, if this is because I don't want to tell the team, fine I'll tell them and I'll resign if it comes to that. If this is because you don't feel like you know me then ask anything and I'll answer. But don't think for a minute that I don't love you" her voice was quiet and pleading.
"It's not that simple Emily"
"Why can't it be?"
"Because I want to tell the team when we feel ready and happy not if you're feeling forced into it"
"Spence," she pleaded.
"Emily, will you listen to me, I can't do this anymore, sure it was fun while it lasted but it's not working and I think it's best we walk away before anyone gets hurt" he couldn't believe he was saying this, he was sure Emily was the one but lately he's had this nagging feeling that it wasn't right.
At first Emily was speechless, this wasn't the way she'd wanted things to go, but her mouth went into overdrive and she couldn't stop herself from speaking.
"Fine, leave I don't give a crap, you're right this is stupid and pointless. You were right when we first started dating when you felt you weren't good enough for me, I must have been out of my mind to say I loved you" she couldn't stop herself, her words stinging like venom as she threw them at Spencer.
"I think I should go" Spencer mumbled shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked out the door.
Emily slammed it shut behind him. Suddenly the tears that she'd been fighting fell as she fell back on the door and slid down onto the floor, cradling herself as she didn't just feel her heart break in two. It had been smashed into tiny pieces.
Awww :'( I felt kinda mean leaving it there but it felt like the right place to leave it. I hope you all agree. So I hope it wasn't to bad, so let me know if I should carry on or if I should delete it and pretend I never wrote it. Please review and what not, see you soon (see you soon? A good choice of words oh well) Lots of Love Rhianxx
