Summary: It's raining at Hogwarts, and even magical boys get bored sometimes, so why not play a muggle game?

Originally this was script for something my friends and I were going to do, but the project didn't work out, and I changed the ending :) Fufufufu

WARNING: references to boyXboy romance~! Don't like? Then why are you looking at my work? PSH. (fangirl spasm)

Unbeta-ed so it's prolly full of FAIL.

Harry Potter and all its characters belong to JK Rowling, who is secretly GOD. I own NOTHING (cries in emo corner).


Sirius: Prooooooooonnnggggggs, Moooooooooooooooooooooooonnny, I'm boooooooored!

Remus: Yes Sirius, thank you for sharing.

Sirius: Let's play a game or something!

James: What kind of game? Exploding snaps? Wizard chess? We can't play quidditch, it's raining out.

Sirius: Ugh, we've done all those a million times! I want to do something neeeeeeew!

Remus: Well, we could… no, never mind.

James: What is it Moony?

Remus: Well, I know some muggle games... but….

Sirius: We don't have any muggle game pieces Moony!

Remus: These aren't game board games or card games, these are spoken games.

James and Sirius: Spoken games?

Remus: Games you speak you morons.

Sirius: We've got that, thanks for thinking so highly of our intelligence Moony!

James: Yeah, we may not be prefects like you, but we aren't idiots!

Remus: Look, do you want to hear it or not?

Peter: I-I'd like to hear it…

Remus: Thank you Peter.

James and Sirius: Suuuck uuuup!

Remus: Shut up Morons. Um…let's see… How about we play...Never Have I Ever?

James and Sirius: OOoooOOOoo!

Sirius: That sounds fun!

James: How do we play?

Remus: Well, muggles usually play with their hands, but we can use magic marks if you guys want. Your arm falls asleep after awhile…

Sirius: Hmmm… this game almost sounds dirty…

Remus: Well, it can be, and with perverts like you, it probably will be…

Sirius: Heh, I think I like this game already! Clever muggles!

Remus: Siigh, look, here's the deal, you get ten marks, one per finger, and we go around in a circle, each saying a never have I ever.

James: Wait, what is a never have I ever?

Remus: Well, it's something you've never done. For example, Never Have I ever transformed into a blood thirsty beast on the full moon.

Sirius: ...But you have done that.

Remus: Well, that is something you guys could say. And I would put one of my fingers down, or lose a mark. The person with the most marks or fingers at the end of it all wins, and when you lose all ten marks, you're out.

James: Sounds simple enough!

Remus: Hm, think you can handle it?

Sirius: I know I can! What about you Wormtail?

Peter: I- I can do it! I'm sure!

Remus: Alright, since I'm the only one who knows how to play, I'll start, and we'll go to Prongs next, then Padfoot, then Wormtail, alright?

James and Sirius: Kay!

Remus: Let's see… Never have I ever… failed a test.

James: Oh dammit…

Peter: Shoot…

Sirius: Ha! That's what you get for stalking Evans instead of studying Prongs!

James: Alright, my turn! Never have I ever… kissed a bloke!

Remus: Does being kissed count?

James: MOONY!

Sirius: What- WHO ASSAULTED YOU MOONY?

Remus: NO ONE ASSAULTED ME! Godric, it was a Ravenclaw who had a crush on me and got a little forward, that's all! Merlin's pants, I can take care of myself you know?

Sirius: Alright, but if he EVER bugs you again-

James: I say it still counts. Hey Padfoot, did you lose a mark?

Sirius: AH! Uh, well, you know…

James: Geeze, I knew you fancied blokes, but I never thought-!

Sirius: Godric's sword, it was a onetime thing! Just to see if it was better than kissing a girl!

Remus: Uh-oh, I forgot…

Peter: Forgot what?

Remus: People usually learn A LOT about each other during this game… it's a good thing you all already know I'm a werewolf…

Peter: You could just lie, right?

Remus: NO! No way! Playing this game is like drinking a bottle of veritaserum! You have to tell the truth!

James: Seriously?

Remus: Yes! That's how it is with all muggle games; you HAVE to tell the truth!

Sirius: Well, it's my turn now, right?

James: Uuuhh, yes!

Sirius: Okay, never have I ever… fallen off a broom!

Peter: Awww man!

James: Ha, only you Wormtail!

Peter: Agh! Uhm, never have I ever kissed a girl!

Sirius: Ugh, there goes one of my points…

James: Mine too…

Sirius: What, did you corner Evans under some mistletoe?

James: Hey, one day I'll marry Lily, and I LOVE her, but it doesn't hurt to play the field a little!

Remus: Siigh, such double standards…

James: What do you mean?

Remus: If Lily kissed a guy who wasn't you…

James: I'D HUNT HIM DOWN AND KILL HIM!

Remus: See; double standards.

Sirius: Wait, Moony, you didn't lose a point… You've NEVER kissed a girl!

Remus: Unlike you two, I have control over my hormones, and my furry little problem doesn't exactly leave me open to many dating possibilities.

Sirius: But, you've NEVER kissed a girl!

Remus: Okay, okay, I think we've established that! Moving on! Never have I ever been referred to as "Demon spawn" by a teacher or faculty member.

Sirius: Awww, no fair Moony! You know that's the rest of us!

Remus: Yes, well, tough. Oh, you too Peter?

Peter: Filtch…

James: That man is a menace. My turn! Never have I ever turned into a canine!

Sirius: Pf, jerk.

Remus: Sigh…

Sirius: Hey, you're still wining Moony. No sighing for you! Never have I ever wanked to the thought of Lilly Evans!

Remus: EEW! Sirius! That's vulgar- JAMES!

James: WHAT? It's normal! I'm going to marry her someday! Merlin's pants!

Sirius: !

James: OOH, just you wait Padfoot! Wormtail, go!

Peter: Never have I ever been taller than 4'9"…

Sirius: Dam you're short…

James: Godric, another point! Not helpful Wormtail!

Remus: Geeze… Never have I ever stolen from Honeydukes.

James and Peter: WORMTAIL!

Remus: Tsk Peter! I suspected as much!

Peter: Wha-ah-it was an accident! Sorta! I didn't really mean to!

James: Never have I ever been attacked by Mrs. Norris!

Peter: Aw shoot…

Sirius: Never have I ever gotten caught in a mousetrap!

Peter: C'mon guys! Never have I ever gotten more than 5 detentions in one week!

Sirius: Pft, hey, 10 detentions in one week is a personal record!

James: Yeah, we are PROUD of this!

Remus: You're all a bunch of idiots. Never have I ever gotten lower than a 99 on a test.

Sirius: Dammit!

James: Sorry we ALL can't be perfect Moony.

Peter: Aww… I never get even close to 99's…

James: Never have I ever crushed on a bloke.

Sirius: Oh now you're just fishing Prongs-MOONY?

Remus: Shut UP Padfoot.

James: Woooah Moony, like that Ravenclaw more than we thought?

Remus: Of course not! Just shut up James!

Sirius: Who is it Moony?

Remus: None of your business!

Sirius: Oh! So you're crushing on some bloke right NOW?

Remus: Sirius Black, if you don't move off of this subject right now so help me I will NEVER let you see one of my potions essays EVER again!

Sirius: Alright, Alright! Merlin's beard someone is touchy!

Remus: Padfoot…

Sirius: Okay I'm going! Never have I ever flirted with Lily Evans!

James: Oh, go for the obvious why don't yo-WORMTAIL!

Peter: Once! She didn't even realize it! It was before I met you all! I'm sorry, don't kill me!

Remus: Peter!

Sirius: That is LOOOW! James made it obvious from minute one that he liked Lily!

Peter: I'm sorry okay? Never have I ever had a short tail!

James: Oh you did NOT go there! Avenge me Moony!

Remus: Well... never have I ever had an irrational fear of cats.

Peter: Moony!

James: Never have I ever hit on the girl my mate likes!

Peter: Aw man, I'm out…

Sirius: Serves you right! You broke the code!

Peter: What code?

James: The Marauders' code! We never go after the girl, or in Moony and Padfoot's cases, the bloke that out mate and fellow marauder likes!

Peter: I'm sorry James! It was a onetime thing!

James: Yeah, it had better have been.

Sirius: Never have I ever had to wear glasses.

James: Aw, Padfoot! I thought you were on my side!

Remus: Doesn't matter to me, I still have five points left after this.

James: You wear glasses?

Remus: I used to, for reading. I had very poor eyesight before…you know.

James: Ah, I see. Well, I'll leave the rest of the game to you two, because I have a rat to catch!

Peter: EEP! DON'T KILL ME JAMES! I SAID I WAS SORRY!

James: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD! ARE YOU A MOUSE OR A MAN!

Peter: AAAAAAAHHHHH!

Sirius: Heh, lookit 'em go!

Remus: Oh Godric, let's not have another incident…

Sirius: Well, it's your turn Moony, and it's just the two of us, so ask away.

Remus: It's not really ask, more like state.

Sirius: We both know that this game is all about questions Moony. Shoot.

Remus: Fine… never have I ever …h..d..s..

Sirius: What was that Moony?

Remus: Sigh, never have I ever had sex.

Sirius: Good, neither have I.

Remus: I'll admit to being surprised at your abstinence Padfoot.

Sirius: Heh, never have I ever had a crush on a bloke with dark hair.

Remus: ….. Now who's fishing…

Sirius: You could have lied.

Remus: Like I said; it's like drinking veritaserum. Lying spoils the entire game.

Sirius: Hm. Your go.

Remus: Never have I ever missed a deadline.

Sirius: For schoolwork?

Remus: For anything.

Sirius: Ha, good to know that you're so punctual moony. I on the other hand, am not as perfect.

Remus: Heh, that doesn't surprise me.

Sirius: Let's see... my turn… hmm… ne-no wait, I've done that so I can't ask… Hmm… Gee, this is harder than it was earlier…

Remus: Well, now you seem like you want to find out something specific. You just have to word it right.

Sirius: Hmm… let's see… Well, have you… I mean, Never have I ever liked anyone who's last name was Black.

Remus: W-well of course I lose a point on that.

Sirius: R-REALLY?

Remus: D-duh, we-we're friends aren't we?

Sirius: Wait-what?

Remus: Ha, really Sirius, with your huge ego, you'd never think that you had such insecurity issues!

Sirius: No, that's not what I meant!

Remus: What?

Sirius: I meant LIKE like. Like, have a crush, be in love with, that sort of thing…

Remus: Wha-Sir-Pad-I-

Sirius: M-Moony! Where are you- MOONY!


AAA-DRAMATIC CLIFF HANGER! Ha, not really since I'm gonna upload the second half in like, two minutes, but those first two minutes are gonna be REALLY CLIFF-HANGER-ISH!

...I fail as a villain.

~Seo