Summary: It's raining at Hogwarts, and even magical boys get bored sometimes, so why not play a muggle game?
Originally this was script for something my friends and I were going to do, but the project didn't work out, and I changed the ending :) Fufufufu
WARNING: references to boyXboy romance~! Don't like? Then why are you looking at my work? PSH. (fangirl spasm)
Unbeta-ed so it's prolly full of FAIL.
Harry Potter and all its characters belong to JK Rowling, who is secretly GOD. I own NOTHING (cries in emo corner).
Sirius: Prooooooooonnnggggggs, Moooooooooooooooooooooooonnny, I'm boooooooored!
Remus: Yes Sirius, thank you for sharing.
Sirius: Let's play a game or something!
James: What kind of game? Exploding snaps? Wizard chess? We can't play quidditch, it's raining out.
Sirius: Ugh, we've done all those a million times! I want to do something neeeeeeew!
Remus: Well, we could… no, never mind.
James: What is it Moony?
Remus: Well, I know some muggle games... but….
Sirius: We don't have any muggle game pieces Moony!
Remus: These aren't game board games or card games, these are spoken games.
James and Sirius: Spoken games?
Remus: Games you speak you morons.
Sirius: We've got that, thanks for thinking so highly of our intelligence Moony!
James: Yeah, we may not be prefects like you, but we aren't idiots!
Remus: Look, do you want to hear it or not?
Peter: I-I'd like to hear it…
Remus: Thank you Peter.
James and Sirius: Suuuck uuuup!
Remus: Shut up Morons. Um…let's see… How about we play...Never Have I Ever?
James and Sirius: OOoooOOOoo!
Sirius: That sounds fun!
James: How do we play?
Remus: Well, muggles usually play with their hands, but we can use magic marks if you guys want. Your arm falls asleep after awhile…
Sirius: Hmmm… this game almost sounds dirty…
Remus: Well, it can be, and with perverts like you, it probably will be…
Sirius: Heh, I think I like this game already! Clever muggles!
Remus: Siigh, look, here's the deal, you get ten marks, one per finger, and we go around in a circle, each saying a never have I ever.
James: Wait, what is a never have I ever?
Remus: Well, it's something you've never done. For example, Never Have I ever transformed into a blood thirsty beast on the full moon.
Sirius: ...But you have done that.
Remus: Well, that is something you guys could say. And I would put one of my fingers down, or lose a mark. The person with the most marks or fingers at the end of it all wins, and when you lose all ten marks, you're out.
James: Sounds simple enough!
Remus: Hm, think you can handle it?
Sirius: I know I can! What about you Wormtail?
Peter: I- I can do it! I'm sure!
Remus: Alright, since I'm the only one who knows how to play, I'll start, and we'll go to Prongs next, then Padfoot, then Wormtail, alright?
James and Sirius: Kay!
Remus: Let's see… Never have I ever… failed a test.
James: Oh dammit…
Peter: Shoot…
Sirius: Ha! That's what you get for stalking Evans instead of studying Prongs!
James: Alright, my turn! Never have I ever… kissed a bloke!
Remus: Does being kissed count?
James: MOONY!
Sirius: What- WHO ASSAULTED YOU MOONY?
Remus: NO ONE ASSAULTED ME! Godric, it was a Ravenclaw who had a crush on me and got a little forward, that's all! Merlin's pants, I can take care of myself you know?
Sirius: Alright, but if he EVER bugs you again-
James: I say it still counts. Hey Padfoot, did you lose a mark?
Sirius: AH! Uh, well, you know…
James: Geeze, I knew you fancied blokes, but I never thought-!
Sirius: Godric's sword, it was a onetime thing! Just to see if it was better than kissing a girl!
Remus: Uh-oh, I forgot…
Peter: Forgot what?
Remus: People usually learn A LOT about each other during this game… it's a good thing you all already know I'm a werewolf…
Peter: You could just lie, right?
Remus: NO! No way! Playing this game is like drinking a bottle of veritaserum! You have to tell the truth!
James: Seriously?
Remus: Yes! That's how it is with all muggle games; you HAVE to tell the truth!
Sirius: Well, it's my turn now, right?
James: Uuuhh, yes!
Sirius: Okay, never have I ever… fallen off a broom!
Peter: Awww man!
James: Ha, only you Wormtail!
Peter: Agh! Uhm, never have I ever kissed a girl!
Sirius: Ugh, there goes one of my points…
James: Mine too…
Sirius: What, did you corner Evans under some mistletoe?
James: Hey, one day I'll marry Lily, and I LOVE her, but it doesn't hurt to play the field a little!
Remus: Siigh, such double standards…
James: What do you mean?
Remus: If Lily kissed a guy who wasn't you…
James: I'D HUNT HIM DOWN AND KILL HIM!
Remus: See; double standards.
Sirius: Wait, Moony, you didn't lose a point… You've NEVER kissed a girl!
Remus: Unlike you two, I have control over my hormones, and my furry little problem doesn't exactly leave me open to many dating possibilities.
Sirius: But, you've NEVER kissed a girl!
Remus: Okay, okay, I think we've established that! Moving on! Never have I ever been referred to as "Demon spawn" by a teacher or faculty member.
Sirius: Awww, no fair Moony! You know that's the rest of us!
Remus: Yes, well, tough. Oh, you too Peter?
Peter: Filtch…
James: That man is a menace. My turn! Never have I ever turned into a canine!
Sirius: Pf, jerk.
Remus: Sigh…
Sirius: Hey, you're still wining Moony. No sighing for you! Never have I ever wanked to the thought of Lilly Evans!
Remus: EEW! Sirius! That's vulgar- JAMES!
James: WHAT? It's normal! I'm going to marry her someday! Merlin's pants!
Sirius: !
James: OOH, just you wait Padfoot! Wormtail, go!
Peter: Never have I ever been taller than 4'9"…
Sirius: Dam you're short…
James: Godric, another point! Not helpful Wormtail!
Remus: Geeze… Never have I ever stolen from Honeydukes.
James and Peter: WORMTAIL!
Remus: Tsk Peter! I suspected as much!
Peter: Wha-ah-it was an accident! Sorta! I didn't really mean to!
James: Never have I ever been attacked by Mrs. Norris!
Peter: Aw shoot…
Sirius: Never have I ever gotten caught in a mousetrap!
Peter: C'mon guys! Never have I ever gotten more than 5 detentions in one week!
Sirius: Pft, hey, 10 detentions in one week is a personal record!
James: Yeah, we are PROUD of this!
Remus: You're all a bunch of idiots. Never have I ever gotten lower than a 99 on a test.
Sirius: Dammit!
James: Sorry we ALL can't be perfect Moony.
Peter: Aww… I never get even close to 99's…
James: Never have I ever crushed on a bloke.
Sirius: Oh now you're just fishing Prongs-MOONY?
Remus: Shut UP Padfoot.
James: Woooah Moony, like that Ravenclaw more than we thought?
Remus: Of course not! Just shut up James!
Sirius: Who is it Moony?
Remus: None of your business!
Sirius: Oh! So you're crushing on some bloke right NOW?
Remus: Sirius Black, if you don't move off of this subject right now so help me I will NEVER let you see one of my potions essays EVER again!
Sirius: Alright, Alright! Merlin's beard someone is touchy!
Remus: Padfoot…
Sirius: Okay I'm going! Never have I ever flirted with Lily Evans!
James: Oh, go for the obvious why don't yo-WORMTAIL!
Peter: Once! She didn't even realize it! It was before I met you all! I'm sorry, don't kill me!
Remus: Peter!
Sirius: That is LOOOW! James made it obvious from minute one that he liked Lily!
Peter: I'm sorry okay? Never have I ever had a short tail!
James: Oh you did NOT go there! Avenge me Moony!
Remus: Well... never have I ever had an irrational fear of cats.
Peter: Moony!
James: Never have I ever hit on the girl my mate likes!
Peter: Aw man, I'm out…
Sirius: Serves you right! You broke the code!
Peter: What code?
James: The Marauders' code! We never go after the girl, or in Moony and Padfoot's cases, the bloke that out mate and fellow marauder likes!
Peter: I'm sorry James! It was a onetime thing!
James: Yeah, it had better have been.
Sirius: Never have I ever had to wear glasses.
James: Aw, Padfoot! I thought you were on my side!
Remus: Doesn't matter to me, I still have five points left after this.
James: You wear glasses?
Remus: I used to, for reading. I had very poor eyesight before…you know.
James: Ah, I see. Well, I'll leave the rest of the game to you two, because I have a rat to catch!
Peter: EEP! DON'T KILL ME JAMES! I SAID I WAS SORRY!
James: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD! ARE YOU A MOUSE OR A MAN!
Peter: AAAAAAAHHHHH!
Sirius: Heh, lookit 'em go!
Remus: Oh Godric, let's not have another incident…
Sirius: Well, it's your turn Moony, and it's just the two of us, so ask away.
Remus: It's not really ask, more like state.
Sirius: We both know that this game is all about questions Moony. Shoot.
Remus: Fine… never have I ever …h..d..s..
Sirius: What was that Moony?
Remus: Sigh, never have I ever had sex.
Sirius: Good, neither have I.
Remus: I'll admit to being surprised at your abstinence Padfoot.
Sirius: Heh, never have I ever had a crush on a bloke with dark hair.
Remus: ….. Now who's fishing…
Sirius: You could have lied.
Remus: Like I said; it's like drinking veritaserum. Lying spoils the entire game.
Sirius: Hm. Your go.
Remus: Never have I ever missed a deadline.
Sirius: For schoolwork?
Remus: For anything.
Sirius: Ha, good to know that you're so punctual moony. I on the other hand, am not as perfect.
Remus: Heh, that doesn't surprise me.
Sirius: Let's see... my turn… hmm… ne-no wait, I've done that so I can't ask… Hmm… Gee, this is harder than it was earlier…
Remus: Well, now you seem like you want to find out something specific. You just have to word it right.
Sirius: Hmm… let's see… Well, have you… I mean, Never have I ever liked anyone who's last name was Black.
Remus: W-well of course I lose a point on that.
Sirius: R-REALLY?
Remus: D-duh, we-we're friends aren't we?
Sirius: Wait-what?
Remus: Ha, really Sirius, with your huge ego, you'd never think that you had such insecurity issues!
Sirius: No, that's not what I meant!
Remus: What?
Sirius: I meant LIKE like. Like, have a crush, be in love with, that sort of thing…
Remus: Wha-Sir-Pad-I-
Sirius: M-Moony! Where are you- MOONY!
AAA-DRAMATIC CLIFF HANGER! Ha, not really since I'm gonna upload the second half in like, two minutes, but those first two minutes are gonna be REALLY CLIFF-HANGER-ISH!
...I fail as a villain.
~Seo
