A/N: AU S1. Some of this will seem familiar, but it's a very different story. The timeline is out of whack, and other things will be changed.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. All characters are CWs property to abuse. Oh and tile is from The Strange Love of Martha Ivers.

xoxo

"I just killed my best friend...and my worst enemy."

"What's the difference?"

-Heathers (1989)

xoxo

Tremors swept through the Upper East Side the day she returned. Constance was alight with gleeful murmurs and malevolent whispers. The year without Serena van der Woodsen hadn't been a slow one, but there was always room for another drunken scandal.

Of course Blair knew she was coming. Gossip Girl was in stalker mode and unlikely to come out of it anytime soon.

Chuck spotted her first. At his half smile, Blair followed his gaze, stiffening instantly.

Serena's golden head shone brightly as she lifted one hand in a cautious greeting from across the busy street. Serena had expected Blair and maybe Iz, but she hadn't been prepared for this. Not Blair, and Chuck, and Nate, all there at once. Chuck leaned against a railing on the Met steps, eyeing her slyly. Blair watched her suspiciously. And Serena couldn't bring herself to look at Nate, instead her eyes danced to the girl by his side. She was thin and pale, but pretty. Her platinum waves were brushed over one shoulder, pinned with a diamanté clip, it fell nearly to her waist. Serena didn't miss the possessive hand wrapped around one of Nate's arms.

"I was thinking, tonight we might could all hit Butter. I heard it was going to be…" Jennifer trailed off, noticing that Nate was neither looking nor paying attention to her.

When he could think again, Nate gave Blair an inquiring glance. Blair just raised her chin slightly, a silent message only for the two of them. Be strong. Be quiet. Blair couldn't help smirking at the way Jennifer's hand seemed to claw into Nate's arm, her eyes fixed firmly on Serena's approach.

Had that been her once? Clinging so tightly to Nate, knowing that it wouldn't be enough? Knowing that all it would take was once glance from her best friend and he'd have followed Serena to the ends of the earth?

Once it would have broken a tiny piece of her heart, now she just felt a surge of vindictive happiness at Jennifer's discomfort.

Serena bounded up the stairs, not quite eager, but not one to hesitate. Her eyes fixed on Blair's automatically, searching for any hint of what the brunette was feeling.

"B!" Serena didn't know what exactly you said to your best friend after a year without contact.

Blair stood on reflex, letting herself get pulled into a cautious hug. Coolly, she rested her hands on Serena's shoulders before sitting down again.

There was so much running through Serena's head. I missed you. I'm sorry. I need you. In the end, she just smiled and glanced away.

"Hello Chuck," she greeted, her attempt at sternness ruined by a smile.

"What, no hug?" He asked, eyes slipping over her from head to toe in a way that would make most girls (and guys) shiver.

"Sorry, no gloves." Serena wiggled her fingers for emphasis.

Chuck's smirk only widened. "See, this is why I think there are so many better uses for your mouth," he deadpanned.

"You're filthy," she accused heatedly.

"You love it."

Eventually, when to do anything else would have seemed odd, she turned to Nate. She wished she hadn't had to leave all those nights ago. She wished she could have just apologised, begged him to forget about it and just moved on. They could've been friends, and just looking at him wouldn't hurt so much and he wouldn't be staring at her all pained and waiting. "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey, S," he bit out, disappointed at her lack of reaction. He hadn't expected any big show of emotion, or declarations of love. He knew she'd never do that with Blair so close, even if it was clear they were no longer together. But he wanted to be able to see something, anything, when he looked in her eyes. Something that hinted that she felt even a tenth of what he felt for her. She just hid her eyes, turning to face the only member of the group she didn't know.

She held out her hand, her smile almost too bright. "Hi, I'm Serena van der Woodsen."

Jennifer tilted her head to the side, staring at Serena's hand till the smile wilted. "I know who you are," she mocked, standing. Serena had to stare upwards at the girl one step above her. "I'm Jennifer Humphrey. You should remember that." Her eyes flicked away in dismissal. She took a step then held out her hand. "Nate?"

Obediently Nate followed. Reaching for her hand, he didn't look back.

Serena turned back to Blair. "Wow," she breathed. Not sure whether to laugh or not. "What was that about?"

Blair brushed her lap, as if she could see invisible crumbs. "I guess that was your homecoming," she replied with a cold glance. "Hope you weren't expecting a party." With quick steps she hurried after Jennifer. Serena watched the bright red bow clipped to Blair's hair disappear down the stairs, Chuck close by her side.

At the bottom of the stairs, Chuck turned, walking backwards. He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and an almost imperceptible smile. Serena couldn't tell if he was gloating, or apologetic.

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Spotted: S eating alone on the Met steps. Looks like Queen B (or is it Queen J?, so hard to tell these days) won't be welcoming home our Prodigal It Girl with open arms. You know what they say, too many queens spoil the honey. Better buckle down Upper East Siders, this one is going to get messy.

-Gossip Girl

xoxo

Secluded in a corner banquette at Butter, Chuck lay in wait. Jennifer had quickly, and unsurprisingly, decided to spend the night alone with Nate. Blair didn't want to risk seeing Serena, so his only companions for the night were Kati, iz and Hazel.

All talk ceased as their phones buzzed in unison. Each read their message eagerly.

"I can't believe she's coming here tonight," Hazel snickered.

"Why not? She's probably going for a take-over," Kati suggested, the I would only hinted at.

Chuck tucked his phone away, pausing when he caught sight of lacy black tights under the table.

"I need to talk to you," Serena demanded.

"Well, hello to you too," Chuck smarmed.

Serena shot a glance around the table, frowning quizzically when none of the girls moved. Hazel swallowed nervously, and Iz seemed to be almost trembling, but they held. Chuck let the moment linger, let this new order sink in while Serena waited awkwardly.

"Go," Chuck pronounced casually. The girls practically crawled over each other to get away. He smiled appreciatively at the low-cut top of Serena's sequined dress. "How does it feel to be a nobody?" he asked as Serena slid into the booth across from him.

"I wouldn't know," Serena returned, not all that sure if it was true or not, not even sure what she wanted it to be. "I don't care about that, anyway." She met his eyes, and there was a silent plea there.

"I suppose this is the part where you tell me what you do care about." Chuck's teeth snapped. He knew what was coming, knew what the outcome would be too.

Serena couldn't quite bring herself to say the words yet, to beg for his help, so she asked the other question that was playing on her mind. "Have you seen Georgina?"

Chuck's eyes widened. "What? Why?"

Serena was more confused by his reaction. Startling Chuck was unheard of. "I just thought she'd be here. I went looking for her before, but…"

Chuck stared at the table, tapped his fingers in edgy movements. "She wasn't a good friend Serena. If I were you," he met her eyes squarely, "I'd stop looking."

Serena didn't move, struck by how intensely he watched her. Eventually she just nodded. "Look, anyway, what I care about, you know, it's Blair. It's my friends." She reached out, touching the top of his hand before he pulled it away. She barely paused when Chuck drew his hand away, knowing he wasn't into casual touching that didn't end in nudity. "I know I left. I messed up, okay? But I just need Blair to hear me out. Help me get her to listen."

"Why did you leave?" he asked experimentally, just wanting to know how much she'd tell.

"I just…I just had to get away," the barest hint of fear still in her voice.

In that moment all he could remember was the Connecticut cabin. Him and Blair, Nate and Little J, that stupid television and that ocean that would never stop moving. His jaw tensed, and he watched as Serena bit her lip.

They all had their tells.

Chuck gave a quiet snort. "I doubt Blair will buy that any more than I do. You left. You didn't say goodbye. You didn't call. You didn't write. And then you didn't come back for a year. You better have something better than 'I just felt like it.'"

"Chuck! It's complicated, okay? I was just…I was messed-up."

Knowing that was the best he'd get, he decided not to torture her anymore. "Messed-up? I suppose that's one word for sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend. Though I've got a few better ones." He watched in almost amusement as she held herself together. As his words sunk in her face didn't change, if anything it just seemed more aloof. He'd missed this. There was the Serena that was all energy and sparkly good-naturedness, but if you hit hard enough, chewed up that sickly sweet exterior, there was that socialite core—icy and untouchable.

"Blair doesn't know," she said with little hope.

"Sorry. You didn't actually think Nate could keep his mouth closed, did you?" Chuck asked, his smile small and tight.

"Tell me you're lying. Please," she begged, eyes closing for a second too long.

"Why would I lie when the truth is so much more fun?" Chuck threw back, seeming unaffected by her plight. "Her and Nate might not be together anymore, but Blair doesn't forgive easily." He stood, moving out of the banquette. "A word of advice: lay low and maybe Blair will forget about you."

His mission accomplished, he turned to leave.

"Wait!"

Impatiently, he turned back. "What?"

"Blair sent you, didn't she?" Serena asked in an odd moment of shrewdness.

Chuck measured her words and wondered what wouldn't sound suspicious. "So? She didn't want to see you. Can you blame her? A lot can happen in a year."

"When did you become Blair's messenger boy?"

"When I discovered what clever hands she has."

Serena wrinkled her nose, quickly trying to sort through her jumbled mind. She could see Chuck growing bored with the conversation, almost edging away. She needed something, anything, to keep hold of Chuck. Nate would have been easier, but now she knew there was no way Nate could soften Blair up for her. In the end she only had one last card to play. "I wanted to come back, I did. I wanted to make things right, but I couldn't. Georgina wouldn't let me."

She saw the way her words caught Chuck's attention, the unreadable shadows that drifted over his eyes.

"She's been blackmailing me, Chuck. I had to come back because my family is…a wreck, but she still wouldn't let me. That's why I need to find her."

"You're trying to tell me Georgina, until very recently has been blackmailing you, to stay away from New York for a year?" Chuck shook his head, still smiling. He really hadn't expected this level of manipulation from her. Absurd pity-me lies weren't usually her style. "Nice try."

Serena grabbed his hand before he could leave, she turned over his palm and wrapped his hand around her phone. "Check the inbox."

He gave her a curious look before doing as she said.

"It's from a blocked number, but it's her. They're all signed with a G and she's the only person that knows about…It." She was taking a big risk telling him, but she wanted her life back. She didn't want to hide anymore. She didn't want to have to watch her back just in case Georgina turned up.

At first Chuck didn't believe it. He couldn't He thought through all the ways Serena cold fake the messages, and knew without a doubt it wasn't something she'd do. Slowly he felt the colour leave his face. This couldn't be happening. Georgina couldn't…She couldn't. His fingers flew over the keys.

"What happened to the video that was attached to the messages?" he asked, when he could talk again. The link was there, but the phone was giving him a file not found error.

"Deleted. It's not something I could leave on there," Serena said slowly.

"I don't doubt it." He sent a few of the messages to his own phone.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked, finally alarmed at the sound of Chuck's text alert.

"Don't worry about it," he told her, turning to leave. And he should have left then. He should have left her scared and alone, which was the plan. The plan that was well laid out for all of them. But he couldn't quite do it. He scowled over his shoulder. "Look, don't worry about it. Georgina hasn't been seen in a while, okay?" He meant it to be comforting, but they just sounded like his usual mocking words.

But Serena nodded, as if hearing more than he said. She felt safer knowing that Chuck had her back.

It had been a year, and apparently she had grown no wiser.

xoxo

E/N: So …new series. Let me know if you're interested :)