Man its been so long, I kinda forgot how all this works. Here I go again…
You know, you can turn back right now. Just don't knock—Too late. Damn it, why'd you do that? Now he's going to think you still love—oh wait, you do. Damn, nothing good can come of this. Turn around—run, now. He'll just think it was the wind. Okay, maybe not. Shit, no, don't open—.
His eyes were almost as wide as hers when the door snapped open. She glanced at him momentarily, leaning in the direction as to ask to enter his apartment. He was pretty dumbfounded, just staring in her direction before stepping out of the way and letting her in.
Well, I should have expected this…but then again I didn't. She doesn't crack. She's Jules, she just doesn't do stuff like this. Her make-up is smeared, Oh God—She's been crying.
Sam's brain settled into a protection mode. One of his most strengthened qualities was to protect a woman in need. Now, ways of showing it altered on every occasion but for Jules—for her to cry—she was in pain, not physically, but emotionally.
Must. Help. Jules.
She kept her eyes off of him, looking at him and his worried eyes would make nothing good of the situation. Silence held between them as she slid her hands together, sinking back onto the farthest end of his couch.
Maybe he'll forget I'm here? Oh who am I kidding—.
His body took the place before her, blocking her view of the wall across from where she was sitting.
No getting away now, I guess.
Sam knelt down to her level of the couch, staring her down before lifting her chin with the edge of his finger to make her eyes meet his. "You alright?"
Oh you bet, I'm perfect—Never better. What is this? State the obvious? Of course something is wrong with me. I mean look at me—I'm breaking down to you.
She shrugged, "Just been doing a lot of thinking I guess."
Sam's eyes sank to her fiddling hands. Lifting himself back up, he turned at sat next to her, placing a reassuring hand on her back in hopes that she wouldn't pull away from him. "You wanna talk about it?"
Another shrug.
Gosh this is going nowhere. Usually she'd stand up and yell, bitch at me about something, or completely give in to temptation—I like the giving in to temptation idea, but at this point I'd take bitching any day.
"Come on Jules, talk to me."
I did come to his apartment, so I seem rude now. Just wonderful…
She shook it off, trying to bring herself back to the reality of what happened today and how she completely spilled her guts to her boss and some doctor. "Its just—a lot happened today Sam, we know that. We need to talk about it."
There it is, Its out there—now he can start the discussion.
"Well then, lets talk about it."
I just said that, you idiot, now start the discussion.
Her eyes met his when he took her hand, "I've told you before, many times, how I feel about you—and it still hasn't changed."
A sigh of relief escaped Jules' breath. Thank you Lord—I'm not going to make a fool of myself.
"Same." She stated.
Or maybe I just did make a fool of myself.
Embarrassment began to set in as Sam was forced to just stare at her while thoughts clouded her brain, making it hard to speak. "I—I Just—Why can't we just be together, damn it!"
Jules Callaghan had cracked. The inner rock inside her had exploded, and the steel cage that kept her in line had broken, releasing her from the locked up and nonchalant Jules she used to be.
Sam couldn't say he was exactly taken back by her actions considering he was in the same boat as her. They were in love and were being forced to hide it. It was almost like Romeo and Juliet, minus the whole psycho family battles and killer potion. Their love was forbidden by the powers that be in the SRU and there was nothing that would change that.
Sam looked down at her eyes, watching tears begin to stream from them and down her cheeks. "Jules, don't—we'll figure this out."
She shook her head and wiped her tears, "No—No I'm being silly here, I just—I must be PMSing or something, this isn't like me."
He chuckled and rubbed his hand down her back once more, "It's okay to cry, it was a rough day."
Nodding, she slid her hand onto one of his, clenching it tightly beneath her fingertips. "I want to be with you."
"But we both want to be on the team." Sam completed.
What's she getting at here? Gosh this is so complicated. Why can't we just keep—.
"We've got to learn to sneak around." Jules stated bravely. It was official, a new Jules had awakened and the rebellious state inside her had come alive.
Sam was finally shocked into disbelief, "But you—you—you were the one who said that we—."
"Well today pissed me off." She declared, tightening on his hand, "When you rat out our team and force us to expose our entire lives to a stranger and his lie-detector, and it makes me rethink my judgment of a person."
He laughed and kissed her cheek softly, "I thought you were okay with him bringing in Toth? You seemed like it."
Jules shrugged it off and shook her head, "I thought of all the times he knew we were together and never said a word, knowing how well we were working, but then he brings in an outsider and makes us reveal everything—It sorta killed my trust in the Boss."
Sam slid his hand along her neck and she turned to face him, eyes closing as she leaned in close to him and placed her lips on his. "Jules, I—I love—."
"I love you too Sam." She whispered under her breath, kissing him deeper and placing her hands on both sides of his face. He chuckled, pulling her close to him as they eventually fell to lie across the couch, "I've been waiting so long to tell you that under good circumstances." Jules whispered and clenched onto him tightly.
Sam's expression relaxed, everything was lining back up—or well, for the time being it was. Right now, he had the woman he loved curled up against him and the last thing he was going to think about was Greg, Dr. Toth, the Commander, or team-transfer papers—It was just he and Jules.
If only it was this simple—Can't we just stay like this?
He tightened her in closer to him, playing with her hands, imagining a diamond on her left ring finger.
If only the rules would allow us to be together—If only.
He would never allow her to know it, but in his bedside table a ring box complete with a diamond ring would collect dust until they were together and happy—no interruptions between them.
He was counting down the days until they would be together, with nothing standing between them, where not even a rulebook would keep them apart.
A/N: So there ya go, I'm back. I'm fully back in my Flashpoint-obsessed mindset thanks to that season finale. Though, with racing season fully starting back up this week, I'm going to be pretty busy for the next 36 weeks. Once school is over though, FP will start back and I'll try to split some time between the two.
I gotta say, I kinda missed this place…Crazy.
So review or whatever, yall know how much I love that (:
Happy Valentine's Day, by the way…Can't wait until Tuesday to buy some candy half-off.
PS: Check out my profile for the link to the racing website I write for…Self-plug, I know.
